//------------------------------//
// Memories 
// Story: Princessy 
// by not plu 
//------------------------------//

	I think I know hell now. I know pain, this is pain, constantly. But now I know hell.
I forget who advised me to take on this child, but they shall die for it. This is hell. I’m not ready for responsibility, especially when I see so much of her in her. I don’t know what to do with a child. I’m only seventeen, for chrissake. Our meals are the epitome of awkward, sitting, staring. I need someone to help me. I’ve never had a mother of my own to guide me and teach me to be a good parent. I feel bad for Twila; I’m going to fail at this. Just look what a shoddy job I did with...

I think we might go to the zoo.

***

I don’t think we shall go to the zoo again.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the zoo, but it is a very big deal. You’d think I was queen of this country or something. Heh.
Twila had a grand time though. She skipped from animal to animal, reciting facts for me she’d picked up. I believe she has a photographic memory, from everything she told me. She especially loved the otters. They were absolutely adorable. We were having a great time together, and in between fluffs of cotton candy, playful monkeys and bright sunshine, I actually let myself be happy for once. That is, until we got to the aviary.

Twila had insisted we enter the humid, lively dome, and I agreed as I’ve always liked birds. We strolled happily, trying to get a glimpse of a parrot or conure as Twila attempted to mimic the calls. Twila tugged on my sleeve and told me she wished phoenixes were real. I smiled at her as she wandered off a bit to look at a plant. I turned the other way to see a bird happily sitting at eye level. I instantly recognised it as a quetzal. And then everything hit me.

“What shall I name my bird, Luna?”
“She looks like a phoenix.”
“You’re right, she does.”
“Then you should name her phoenix.”
“Alright, that sounds like a good name. Just like us. We’ll rebuild this country from the ashes. Just like a phoenix, won’t we Luna?”
***
“Phoenix? Phoenix! Luna, have you seen Phoe- Luna, what happened? Luna? Luna, come here. Luna... why is there blood on your hands?”

“Tia... Tia are you okay?”
“Shh, Luna, it’s okay I’m here.”
“I’m Twila.”
“Oh. Oh my. I’m sorry Twila. Could you just... give me a moment? Thank you, dear.”

“Luna, what did you do? Luna...?”

“Luna, are you okay?”

“Luna, please just talk to me.”

“Luna, listen to me.”

“Luna, you’re impossible.”

“Luna, look at you. I can’t believe it.”

“Luna!”

“Luna, I swear...”

“Luna, I’m concerned for you.”

“Luna, say something.”

“Luna, I’m sorry.”

I can’t be okay. I don’t think I deserve it.