//------------------------------// // Chapter 11: The Darkness Before the Dawn // Story: My Girl Fluttershy // by White_Cloud //------------------------------// The next several weeks were full of tears and sorrow as the passing of our mother really hit all of the family hard. Golden and I tried to get the family back to a set schedule, but every night we sat by the fire as tears streamed down our faces, never saying a word to each other. The guilt of my leaving once again had risen up in me and I felt like anything I tried to say would just sound empty and hollow. Every day we would just go through the motions of our daily lives, not really living. About two weeks after her passing, I began to see more of Sapphire Desire. She always kept her distance, but no matter where I went she was there. I didn’t really think too much of it since the death of my mother was always first on my mind. But as the weeks rolled by, I began to take notice. Ever since our meeting when I had returned home, she had never really left my mind. About a month after my mother dying, I was sitting in a café in the middle of Canterlot drinking a cold cider. I had been getting out of the house more and more recently because it just felt so dark and depressing there. I would usually take to the streets, just wandering around. Many time I would end up in one of the parks around the city and just sit and watch everypony go about their daily lives. In some small way, this made me a little happier. But on this day in the café, Sapphire Desire decided to make her move. “Hello White Cloud.” She said in her silky smooth voice as she sauntered up to me. “What are you doing out here?” She smiled a little, and blinked her long eyelashes at me. I continued to stare at my drink, not answering. “Come on Cloudie, I don’t want to cause any trouble. I just want to talk.” I was still upset over our last meeting, and I quietly said to her, “I have nothing to say to you.” I heard the chair across from me slide out and a pony sat down in it. I smelled the most intoxicating scent begin to waft its way over to me. “Then I will talk. I know our meetings have not been, all that pleasant.” I snickered a little at this. “You think?” “Please, just hear me out. Ever since we were foals, I have liked you. I didn’t want the other foals to know because I had a certain image I had to uphold. But secretly, I always liked you. I would watch you from a distance, but I never dared to actually tell you how I felt.” I heard a small sniffle escape from her. I looked up and saw her looking at the table as a tear rolled down her face. “When I heard you had left, it nearly tore me apart. I didn’t eat, I didn’t sleep, I stayed in my room all day. For so many years I feared I would never see you again. But then I heard about your return to take care of your family. I was so happy to hear this news! But it took me so long to go over to your house to see you. I was afraid. I knew I hadn’t been the kindest mare. But when I saw you, I fell back into my old habits. I don’t know what came over me.” She paused as she wiped tears from her eyes. “I will understand if you don’t like me. I would not be surprised if you hated me. But I wanted to tell you…I’m sorry. For everything I did and said to you.” She looked up at me. I had been deathly silent since she had started. I didn’t know how to react. Is this some sort of trick? Does she have some sort of agenda here? “Ok, I understand. You don’t have to say anything. But I just wanted you to know that I was sorry.” She pushed herself away from the table and started to trot off with her head hung low. “Sapphire, wait.” I pushed myself away from the table and trotted over to her. I took her head on my hooves and looked into her eyes. They were the most beautiful shade of deep purple I had ever seen. After a moment had passed of the two of us just staring into each other eyes, I kissed her. It was a long and deep kiss, and it felt like hours had passed before we finally broke the passion. “Does that answer your question?” She smiled at me. “I love you.” She said as we once again began to passionately kiss. …… I was so happy when I returned home that night. I was whistling a little tune as I opened the door and stepped inside. My heart was as light as a feather as I trotted into the kitchen looking for a snack. I decided to grab an apple and then trot into the living room where I knew Golden would be. I was so anxious to tell her my good news, and I thought that maybe this might help to raise her spirits. I saw her seated by the fire as we usually were in the evenings, except that tonight was going to be different. “Golden!” I exclaimed as I trotted in. “I have some wonderful news!” She just continued to stare into the fire. I trotted to a chair across from her and sat down. “So funny story, I was sitting in a café, minding my own business, when Sapphire Desire showed up. I was not happy to see her, but she sat down and began to apologize for how she had treated me before. And then, and this is the real shocker, she told me that she likes me! We ended up kissing right there in the middle of the café, and then we wandered around the city, talking!” I noticed that Golden had not moved or said anything. “Golden, are you all right?” She slowly turned her head, and I saw that she had an anger in her eyes I had never seen before. “How could you, Cloud.” She said with venom dripping from her voice. “Of all the mares you could fall in love with, you chose her?” “What are you talking about?” “You really don’t see it? She is no good for you! I remember how she treated you when we were younger! I remember the hatred she had towards you, how she never wanted to be around you!” Golden was practically yelling at this point. “She is just using you Cloud! She really doesn’t love you!” I sat there, shocked, as I heard a hatred I had never heard before coming from my sister. I was so stunned I wasn’t able to respond. Golden turned back towards the fire and I saw tears begin to well up in her eyes. “I care about you White Cloud.” She said in a soft voice. “I love you and I don’t want to see you get hurt. I’m worried about you.” I was finally able to think as the last of my sister’s words sunk in. The first thing to come to my mind was anger. How dare she say such things about Sapphire! She doesn’t know her like I do! I was so angry I didn’t think about what I said next. “You don’t care about me. You don’t like seeing me happy! For once in my life, I am truly happy! And now you want to take that away from me? Thanks sis, that’s some real love there.” I got up and stormed out the front door, not really caring where I went. Just before I shut the door, I heard crying coming from the living room. I had never talked to my siblings like this, not even when I was angry. But in that moment I didn’t care. I kept telling myself that I was right and she was wrong. I’ll show her. I am happy, and nothing is going to change that. …… After that night, my sister and I began to grow apart. I loathed her for saying those things about Sapphire. How dare she say such things about a mare she doesn’t even know? Most days I was absent from the house all day. Sapphire and I spent pretty much every day together. We loved to just be in each other’s company. Of course, the make out sessions were just as wonderful as the time we spent together. Each evening I would return home to see Golden sitting by the fire, but I never talked to her. I had nothing to say to her. Sapphire and I were in love and she was not going to tear us apart. After a few months of being together, I rarely saw my family. Most of my time was now spent being with Sapphire and doing things with her. I decided to move in with her family because I had become so detached from my own family. I didn’t care about them anymore; I didn’t care what happened to them. All that mattered was Sapphire. …… Sapphire and I were up in her room making out on her bed. “White Cloud, I love you so much.” I smiled as we took a short breather. “I know. I’m your stallion and you are my mare.” Sapphire smiled at this. “And don’t you forget it.” She tackled me again and we were off making out. Suddenly there was a knock on the downstairs door. Sapphire broke our kiss. “And just as things were getting good.” She said pouting. “I’m not going anywhere.” I smiled and said slyly. She quickly hopped off the bed and trotted downstairs. I heard the door open, and then a few shorts words were said before I heard the door close again. After a minute, I heard Sapphire trotting back up to her room. “Who was that?” “Oh, it was nopony, at least nopony important.” She grinned at me with lust in her eyes. “Now, where were we? Oh right, I remember…” She jumped and tackled me onto her bed as we began to passionately make out. …… It was close to midnight as I went into my house to grab a few things to take over to Sapphires. I tried to be as quiet as possible because I knew everypony would be asleep. I began to trot past the living room when I heard a quiet voice. “Where have you been White Cloud?” Golden was sitting in front of the fire, and I could hear the iciness of her voice. “I have been looking for you, but nopony could tell me where you have been.” I stopped in front of the living room doorway. “Why do you care? You don’t approve of who I spend time with.” Golden got up and slowly trotted over to me. “I care because of what you promised me! Of what you promise your brothers and sisters! Of what you promised our mother!” “Yeah, and what promise is that?” “The promise you made when I first found you! You swore to take care of this family and to try and make things right! To change things back to the way they were!” “My priorities have changed. I have Sapphire to think about now.” “Sapphire, Sapphire! That mare is the only pony you care about! You don’t care what happens to this family anymore?” She angrily brushed past me and stamped into the main hallway. “I do care! But you don’t like who I spend my time with! I love Sapphire, and she loves me!” Golden whipped around and stared daggers at me as tears began to flow down her cheeks. “No, she doesn’t! Can’t you see what she is doing to this family? She is tearing us apart! You don’t come around anymore, you stay away for weeks at a time, I never see you! Your brothers and sisters ask me every day where you are! How do I explain to them that you don’t care about them?” “I do care about this family. But Sapphire is going to become a part of this family. I have decided to ask her to marry me.” Golden looked shocked as I told her this. She was too stunned to say anything right away. Finally, she turned around as she began to cry harder. “I need you to leave. I don’t want you here anymore.” I was speechless. I slowly trotted over to her and tried to put my hoof on her shoulder, but she flinched away. “Golden, I…” She slowly trotted back into the living room. As she reached the doorway, I heard her say through gritted teeth, “Get…out…” And then she disappeared. I heard sobbing coming from the other room as I slowly turned and headed out of my house for the last time. …… I slowly made my way back to Sapphires. Her house was the only place left to me. As I went inside and shut the door behind me, I heard Sapphire call to me. “Is that you Cloudie? Can you come up here? I have something to show you.” I heard the coyness of her voice, but I was still in shock over the events that had just transpired. I slowly made my way upstairs to her bedroom. The door was slightly ajar, so I gently pushed it open. Sapphire was lying on her bed, surrounded by rose petals and scented candles. I heard gentle music playing as the candle light danced on the walls. “Do you like it Cloudie?” All of a sudden it hit me. Everything that we had been doing, what SHE had been doing. I finally saw everything for what it was. Sapphire was playing me, she hadn’t really changed. I saw her not as a beautiful mare that I wanted to marry, but an oily snake that was trying to pull me into its den. She was consuming me, and I had been blind to it all until now. Golden was right, she was trying to tear the family apart, and, she had succeeded. I thought back to what Golden had told me, how I was no longer around. I really had forgotten about my promise, and because of that I had lost everything that had mattered to me. My sister, my parents, my home, everything was gone. I was so angry. I didn’t know what to do, but I knew I had to leave. I couldn’t be around this snake any longer. I turned and began to make my way out of her house. I left the door open, not even caring if it got closed. “Cloudie, where are you going?” Her words fell on deaf ears as I headed out into the night air. I still heard her calling my name as I made my way down the street and to the train station. I thought about everything that had happened. When I had first gotten back, Golden really did believe that I could make things better, that I really could fix everything. But in the end, I just let her down. Just like I had let my parents down, I had let down the only other person that truly cared for me. The pain was so great that I began to weep as I slowly trotted down the street. I heard a train whistle close to me and I knew that I had arrived. The more I thought about it, the more it became evident in my mind. There was nothing left for me here. I had to head back to the one place that might still accept me. I knew that Ponyville was far away from Canterlot, far enough that I hoped my past could not follow me. I knew it was the one place I could go where my past could not follow. I had to head back…home. …… “There really isn’t any more to say. Pretty much I arrived back here and resumed my job. I buried myself in my work and tried to forget everything that had happened. The only thing that mattered to me was my work and my plants. I kept to myself, never wanting to be around anyone for fear I would just let them down. At least that was the case until I saw you. You changed everything, and I have not been the same since then.” I looked at Fluttershy as I finished the story. I was emotionally drained at this point, but I needed to hear her reaction. She just sat there, staring at nothing, and her face was devoid of emotion. “Fluttershy? Would you please say something?” I tried to wrap my hoof around her, but she got up off the couch and headed towards the door, never saying a word. I watched her as she trotted outside, closing the door behind her. I just sat there in shock, not sure what to think. I didn’t know what to say. I laid down on the couch as a sinking feeling hit my stomach and I felt sick. Oh Celestia, what have I done?