//------------------------------// // Chapter 2 – Found in a New Situation // Story: Being Chaos Malcontent // by Digodragon //------------------------------// A gentle breeze tickled Celestia’s back and made the monarch shiver once more. However, it was now accompanied by the warmth of the sun that bathed her eyelids with a steady bright light. Celestia blinked as her eyes adjusted to the bright late-morning sun. Where was she? Had she fallen down a tunnel that led back outside? Celestia’s vision finally sharpened and she found herself at the castle’s highest point, the observatory tower. Celestia fell down in a few odd places in her youth, but she had never fallen so far down into the castle as to have wrapped around to the top tower. The princess stood up from her perch, but her appendages refused to bend in their usual directions. In addition, her weight and balance were not where she had left them. Celestia stumbled forward on a goat hoof, a lion’s paw, and then she tumbled over the railing. Gravity was apparently waiting for Celestia as it snatched her quickly with the desire to introduce her to its favorite partner in pain, the ground. She flapped her tiny bat and Pegasus wings to no avail. Celestia reached out with her eagle-clawed hand and caught the lip of a window sill. Her arm was pulled painfully, but the princess hung tightly as she tried to realign her sense of direction. Celestia took in a deep breath and pulled herself up and onto the ledge she hung from. She leaned against the tinted glass of a window the ledge protruded from. Once she was secured from gravity’s further shenanigans, Celestia had a good look at herself; Deer and goat horns, lion arm, eagle claw, goat hoof, lizard leg, and a dragon-like tail. The implication of what this meant was not a mystery. “Oh no,” Celestia muttered to herself. She hoped that this was just a dream. She slapped herself as a test of consciousness, but while the pain felt quite real, she had not awakened. Was this a good time to panic? Celestia thought it might be if there ever was a good time to panic. “DISCORD!” Celestia shouted angrily at the top of her lungs. She cut herself short as the sound that came out of her mouth was also Discord’s voice and not her own. Was this the latest prank in the draconequus’ long repertoire of bad jokes? Celestia started to understand why Luna never laughed at his pranks. Her thoughts were interrupted when the window she leaned against slid open. Celestia tumbled inside as she failed to adjust her balance in a timely manner. She found herself lying on the floor of her sister’s bedroom. “What do you want, Discord?” Luna angrily interrogated. Celestia believed she had inadvertently awoken her younger sister. However, this was a fortunate moment, for Luna was knowledgeable in transformative magic. This was an opportunity for Celestia to be returned to her true form! However, there was a notable problem with this plan. Luna really disliked Discord and never trusted a word that came out of his mouth. If Celestia looked and sounded like Discord at this very moment, then she had to convince Luna that her older sister was trapped in the draconequus’ body. This conversation wasn’t going to end well. “Dearest Luna,” Celestia pleaded, “This is not Discord you are speaking with. It is I, Celestia, your sister. I have been turned into Discord for some reason I cannot fathom.” Luna responded with a thrown shoe. Celestia raised her arms instinctively and blocked the hoof-wear. It seemed Luna’s dislike for the spirit of chaos involved assault. Celestia continued to appeal to Luna despite the younger sister’s notable temperament. “Luna wait, please listen!” the elder sister said. “You must believe me!” “Get out!” Luna bellowed. She levitated several other shoes, two books, and an empty chamber pot. “I will not fall for your ruse this day, draconequus!” Luna stated. “Guards!!” All the levitated items were hurled together at who Luna perceived was Discord. Celestia dove under the thrown objects, but one of the shoes hit her in the right ear. She rubbed the stinging pain. “No, wait!” Celestia began, but she saw that the doors to Luna’s bedroom were kicked open. Two gray-coated stallion guards with spears marched into the room. “I can prove I’m Celestia!” the elder princess stated. “Ask me something only Celestia would know!” “You would simply use such information for your own tricks!” Luna countered. She magically pulled out the top drawer from her personal dresser with the intent of bludgeoning the draconequus with it. Repeatedly. The guards flanked Luna in her defense and pointed their spears at who they too believed was Discord. Celestia’s mind raced for something to say to her younger sister. Something that proved she was indeed Celestia and not the self-titled prince of chaos. Celestia’s attention suddenly turned to the contents of the levitating drawer. “Hey, are those the purple stripe socks I let you borrow last month?” Luna roared in anger and startled the two flanking guards. Celestia slapped her forehead for not focusing. She needed to concentrate on the current problem! She needed to convince her little sister of who she was before the guards had her arrested for… whatever it was the guards could charge a spirit of chaos with. Ideas raced through Celestia’s mind and the monarch finally stumbled upon a solution. The next thing that went through Celestia’s head was Luna’s large three-cushion couch. ~ ~ ~ A wave of cold water splashed against Celestia’s face. She flailed her legs for a moment against the clear liquid before she realized she wasn’t in any danger. Celestia looked at her surroundings and found that she sat at the shallow end of the small lake behind the castle. Furthermore, her face not only lacked the pain associated with the impact of a thrown sofa, but she was back in her own body! “Oh thank the heavens!” Celestia praised. Several ducks nearby quacked encouragingly, not that Celestia understood what they were even saying. They apparently just wanted the Alicorn out of their lake. The princess jumped out of the water as the ducks pecked at her legs. It seemed everyone had an attitude with Celestia today. Once she was out of the water, the princess looked back at the castle with a confused expression. The lake was not only a decent distance from the castle, but Luna’s room was on the opposite side where the lake sat. Celestia couldn’t have simply fallen into the water from her sister’s window. The princess thought that perhaps she teleported during the fall, or maybe the whole event of being trapped in Discord’s body was a hallucination? Yes, it had to be just that, a mere mundane vision that occurred due to stress and hunger. Celestia snorted with amusement. The word ‘mundane’ carried a strange little meaning when she used it that way. Princess Celestia made her way back to the castle. As she walked along, she focused a spell on herself to dry off her coat. A gentle wind picked up leaves from the ground. The little magical whirlwind surrounded her and wicked away most of the moisture from her fur and mane. After a few seconds the breeze ceased and the wet leaves fluttered to the ground around the princess. Celestia was nearly dry now, but her mane was in terrible need of a brush. Once the princess reached the castle, she walked through the gardens around to the front of the castle. There, Celestia saw half dozen guards positioned around Discord. The draconequus sat on the front steps of the castle with a huge bag of ice held to his left eye. Behind Discord two servants lifted a severely dented blue couch up the steps. The princess was taken aback by the scene that unfolded here. It wasn’t a hallucination. Celestia was Discord for several minutes! Wait, so Luna actually threw a couch at Discord’s head? “Your majesty,” one of the guards stated aloud. He bowed in respect to Celestia and the rest of the guards followed suit. Discord didn’t move from his position, but he waved his eagle claw to acknowledge her presence. “Is everything alright?” Celestia asked the guard, although she knew it certainly wasn’t. “We were going to ask you the very same thing!” the guard replied anxiously. “Word had spread throughout the castle that you raced away from your advisors in a screaming fit earlier.” “Oh, that,” Celestia remarked with embarrassment. “Well, I was overcome by a moment of stress and needed a breath of fresh air. I am alright now.” The guards did not question her story, but the monarch wondered if any of them noticed her unruly mane. She wished they said something if they were concerned about her well-being. Perhaps Celestia should have mentioned that she was sucked up by a void in the basement and then became Discord fifteen minutes ago? That would have gotten their vocal concern. Yes, and likely with it a lovely blue straitjacket that matched her eyes. The princess quickly turned the conversation toward the injured chaos spirit sitting on the front steps. “What happened to Discord?” Celestia inquired. “Princess Luna stated that the draconequus was causing a disturbance at her window,” the guard explained. “He began spouting nonsense and your royal sister defended herself. We were here to ensure that Discord would not retaliate.” Celestia watched with apprehension as the servants carried the broken sofa inside the castle. “So, why was that couch outside on the castle steps?” she asked. The guard shrugged. “I believe that was the instrument by which Princess Luna defended herself. A pity too, the blue one was her favorite.” “I can’t believe Luna threw a couch at me,” Celestia muttered aloud to herself. “If she threw it at you, her aim was quite a ways off!” Discord said with contempt. Celestia felt a pang of guilt as Discord’s current state of discomfort was her own fault. This was quickly overshadowed by the guards’ collective confused look at Celestia’s statement of being the target of Luna’s wrath. Did they even make straitjackets in Celestia’s size? “Right, I misspoke,” the princess lied innocently. The perplexed monarch walked over to Discord and sat beside him. “I apologize, Discord, my day has been quite challenging.” “I did get that message with the morning mail,” Discord replied flatly as he adjusted the icepack over his eye. Celestia blushed slightly at the early morning event he alluded to. “Discord,” Celestia said in a motherly tone, “Please tell me what you remember of the last few minutes before my sister attacked you.” The spirit of chaos glanced up at Luna’s window before he spoke. “I don’t remember much. I was up on the observatory balcony taking a short nap. The next thing I knew, I was lying on the stone steps here with a sofa for an eye patch and Luna screaming from her window to have me thrown in your dungeon.” “Well that certainly was a bit excessive,” Celestia said. “You think?” Discord sarcastically interjected. “Not that your dungeon could hold me anyway, but I wasn’t aware that napping at the observatory was such a serious crime. I’m glad I didn’t take my snooze in the garden. I’d probably be turned back to stone!” Discord froze in place and the color of his body momentarily took on a rough, gray texture that mimicked his statement. He resumed his normal colorful form after holding still for two seconds. Celestia nodded. “I’ll have a stern talk with my sister about throwing furniture at our friends,” she said. “Will you be alright? I’ve never seen you injured before.” “It’s been eons since I can recall my last bruise,” Discord pondered aloud. “I’m surprised you haven’t snapped your fingers and healed yourself.” The draconequus raised a disbelieving eyebrow at Celestia. “Chaos doesn’t work that way,” Discord explained. “It’s like practicing dentistry with nothing but a hammer and a live lobster. Sure, if I had some butter at the time the patient would have turned out better, but at least he still had the same face.” Celestia leaned away from Discord. She refused to inquire further about that story. Instead she gave Discord a pat on the back. “Well, just give Luna some space for now,” Celestia advised. “I think we are all stressed out over today’s workload. I’m sure it’ll pass once tomorrow’s meeting is done with, alright?” Discord grunted in agreement, but remained sitting on the steps. Celestia stood up. “Guards, you may return to your posts,” the princess commanded. The guards dispersed back to their posts, assured that Discord would behave himself. Celestia ascended the castle steps afterwards as she gave the draconequus one last glance. The princess had a lot on her mind, but the foremost thought was of that trap door in the basement. Celestia had seen a lot of strange things over the centuries, but that basement hatch was just downright bananas. Speaking of bananas, her stomach pointed out that it was nearly time for lunch. ~ ~ ~ The royal ruler of Equestria spent the rest of her day in the throne room with her advisors, sans conga lines and drool. Celestia had left a note on Luna’s door to meet up first thing that night about the couch incident. Despite the severity of that situation, Celestia did not wish to disturb her sister until the younger Alicorn had a full day’s rest to remove any remaining anger. The economic report was the top priority anyway, even if it was vastly more boring. Celestia was so bored of it that she almost wished for Discord to sail by the windows on a winged pig again. That was a sign of pretty solid boredom right there. Also despite her hunger, Celestia found she was only able to nibble on her meals and snacks. The scene of her in Discord’s body was a terrible distraction that repeated in Celestia’s mind. In a blessed contrast, the report was a terrific distraction that kept any pony from noticing that Celestia was mentally uninterested in economic terms and figures. The advisors continued to pour information together and when Twilight came in shortly after dinner with her finished sections of the report, Celestia was the only one who failed to verbally cheer that the task was done. The tired princess feigned satisfaction. “Thank you all for completing this report for tomorrow’s important event,” Celestia said with a false smile. “I ask that you all now get a good night’s sleep. The dignitaries will be here at noon for the trade talks and I would like each of you to be well rested for the meeting.” The advisers all bowed and left the throne room. Well, all except Twilight. The purple Alicorn sensed that something bothered Celestia. “Are you alright, your majesty?” Celestia nodded. “Yes I am, Twilight. I am merely exhausted from today’s workload.” “I’m sure you are,” Twilight agreed, “But you seem a bit distracted by something else.” “What makes you say that?” Twilight pointed at the setting sun outside in the garden. It had drifted a few inches to the south. Celestia gasped quietly and concentrated her magic on the solar ball of light. The sun quickly jerked back to its proper position and set correctly. “I hope no one noticed that,” Celestia mumbled. The two Pegasus guards that flanked the throne exchanged a confused look. Even Twilight was staring incredulously at her former teacher. “Uh, I think the entire country would have noticed that,” Twilight said pointedly. “Are you sure you’re alright, Celestia?” “I…” Celestia bit her lower lip. She wasn’t sure what to say. While Twilight was ever faithful and would have believed her story about the basement trap door, Celestia was worried about the repercussions if this story reached less credible ears. She didn’t want to alarm her subjects that their beloved leader became fruitier than an apple orchard in summer. “Luna hit Discord with a couch today,” Celestia said speedily in an effort to deflect the subject. “Really?” Twilight responded with surprise. “That’s incredibly strange.” “Well, you know Luna has a bit of a temper.” Twilight shook her head. “No, I mean it’s strange that Luna actually hit Discord with a couch,” she clarified. “Discord is a powerful spirit. I know nothing short of the Elements of Harmony that could even touch him unless he wills it. How did Luna manage to hit Discord with something as mundane as a sofa?” “Um, Sofa of Harmony?” Celestia said innocently. An uncomfortable silence fell over the throne room, interrupted only by the cough of Philomena from under the cage tarp that called out Celestia’s blatant lie. The monarch lowered her head sadly. “Alright, I do have a small problem nagging me, but please do not worry,” Celestia pleaded. “Go get yourself some sleep and tomorrow I’ll let you know the details once I’ve dealt with it tonight.” “Alright Celestia, until tomorrow,” Twilight relented. “However, if there’s anything at all that I can do to help you, please don’t hesitate to ask me.” “I know,” Celestia said softly. The monarch waited for Twilight to exit the throne room before she let out a sigh. That basement trap door was just tearing at her mind. Celestia wanted to revisit the strange object and investigate it further. If it was a portal into Discord’s mind, then it had dangerous potential in the hooves of the wrong pony. At least, that was a good justification to go back. After all, Celestia had envied Discord’s nearly obligation-free lifestyle lately and it presented not only an opportunity to better understand the draconequus, but her moment earlier in discord’s body was like a short getaway from the rigors of her own responsibilities. As long as Celestia avoided her sister, no harm should come to Discord’s body right? “No, no, I cannot do that! It would be morally wrong!” Celestia scolded herself harshly. One of the two guards was confused as to what Celestia was talking about. “Your majesty?” “Hmm? Oh!” Celestia blurted out as she realized that the guards were still there. “No, it’s nothing. I was thinking aloud to myself about Discord.” Well, at least that wasn’t technically a lie. Good thing too, she was quite lousy at it. Celestia imagined that if she was any worse at it, she’d be the Element of Honesty. She stood up from her throne and cleared her throat. “I shall retire for the evening,” Celestia said casually. “Guards, you are dismissed.” The princess left the throne room quietly. No matter the reason, she was going to get to the bottom of this enigmatic mystery. By ‘bottom’ she meant the basement hallway and by ‘enigmatic’ she meant the trap door. Everything else was pretty much literal. ~ ~ ~ Princess Celestia evaded the patrolling guards and the servants that walked the hallways as she crept toward the basement. This was surprisingly not a small feat for a powerful Alicorn like herself. Celestia was amazed at how many ponies there were on duty during the night shift. The number of guards on patrol was understandable, but all the maids, chefs, butlers, pages, and other servants active this night certainly made things difficult for a princess to sneak away unnoticed on personal business. Then again, Celestia was about as stealthy as the sun. She was the largest and most colorful resident here at the castle, even if Discord was taken into account. Celestia had to utilize all the light manipulation spells she knew, such as invisibility and color alteration, but she rarely used such magic so her skill was very rusty. The spells showed imperfections like incomplete invisibility and camouflage that didn’t match the walls perfectly. Furthermore, Celestia still made sounds wherever she walked and flying created a draft that some pony might notice. Celestia wasn’t even going to attempt her teleporting power. Magical wards in the castle limited where she could appear and her teleport came with a bright flash of sunlight. That was to stealth as a mariachi band was to a bedtime lullaby. Two Pegasi guards on patrol turned down the narrow hallway Celestia occupied. She thought they might bump into her if she was invisible, so the princess thought to disguise herself instead. Celestia’s magical horn glowed with her concentration as she removed nearly all the color from her body and mane. Now that she was a dull-looking gray all over, Celestia pressed herself against the wall and held perfectly still in a regal pose. “Hey Blades,” the first guard said curiously as the two approached Celestia, “Is this statue new?” Blades inspected the very life-like statue of their ruler. “I suppose it is, Rocky. I certainly haven’t seen it before. The details are really convincing though.” “I don’t know,” Rocky mused to the second guard. “This one seems kind of skinny to me.” “Yeah, it does look a bit off now that you mention it,” Blades replied as he brushed back his dark blue mane. “The real Celestia is like… much bigger than this.” “You know,” Rocky began, “There’s this pretty mare I met down by the Copper Crown tavern yesterday. She’s well rounded like the princess, if you know what I mean.” “Too right,” Blades agreed with a toothy smile. “Curves just give you something nice to hug on a cold night, you know?” Rocky paused for a moment in thought before he spoke again. “Uh, I meant that the tavern mare had a lot of skills… oh!” Rocky said as he understood Blade’s statement. “Yeah, curves. Like big, round, warm blanket things. I think.” Blades raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, curvy blankets,” he responded. “Anyway, I’m sure the artist just chiseled a bit too much off the sides to play it safe. He probably hasn’t seen the way our majesty devours cake.” “Yeah, I like cake too,” Rocky replied as the two guards continued to patrol down the hall. Celestia was now the only statue in the castle that visibly blushed. Once the two guards were out of sight the princess gasped for air. She relented on her spell and the colors splashed back over her body like strokes from a master painter’s brush. However, her cheeks took longer to return to their proper off-white color. “Mental note,” Celestia whispered to herself, “No more eating desert in front of the guards.” The princess continued on her secret journey to the castle basement. She only saw one last servant that was dusting the paintings in the hall adjacent to the basement entrance. Once Celestia snuck past the little Pegasus maid, she descended down the steps into the lower levels. Celestia lit the magical light at the tip of her horn to ward away the ominous darkness that lived down here. Her breath was still quite visible in the cold, dry air and it was only on this second trip that Celestia noticed how the shadows made by her light appeared… crooked. The Alicorn trudged on through the lonely basement corridors. It was not long before she found the short, enigmatic hallway. Its low ceiling lacked several cobwebs that she may have brushed against the first time she was here. Celestia ducked her head and proceeded onward. The monarch’s hoof steps echoed softly as she approached the end of the hall. She found that the crate remained as she left it; the bottom broken and old books scattered about the floor. The trap door was closed, but Celestia was able to easily lift the hatch this time with her levitation magic. Perhaps the door was only stuck the first time due to decades of disuse? The princess stepped back from the dark entrance on the ground. She decided to experiment on the dark doorway with some magic of her own. ‘For Science’ as her former student Twilight would have said. Celestia started by casting an identification upon the trap door. Her horn released a soft, blue magical glow that surrounded the trap door in a gentle embrace. The spell sizzled like an egg on a hot pan and then blew out the same way a candle did. It revealed no information to her. The princess then tried a detection spell to see the doorway’s magical aura, but that spell also fizzled in the same fashion. Celestia became slightly frustrated as the trap door appeared to be heavily warded. That or it didn’t truly exist as a physical object that magic could affect. Well, she made up that last part, but it sounded like a possibility. The princess tried a simpler test. She put a hoof on one of the children’s books that sat on the floor. With a shove, Celestia slid the book across the stone floor and into the trap doorway. The book fell into the darkness and Celestia mentally began counting the seconds. “One, Two, Three…” “…Eighteen, Nineteen, Twenty?” Celestia stopped counting. The book had either fallen down a bottomless pit or it had ceased to exist. Then again, maybe Discord’s mind was now possessed by the story of The Three Little Fillies. None of those options made sense, much like how Discord’s mind didn’t make sense. Considering the connection between the trap door and discord’s head, Celestia’s thought was brought around full circle with a large side order of irony. She stood there and stared intently at the dark hole before her. It refused to be understood and that was the most irritating part of the entire discovery. It seemed that the trap door would only follow one rule and that was you had to step inside. Celestia took in a slow, deep breath and charged forward. With a mighty leap she dove into the hole and the darkness swallowed her entirely.