//------------------------------// // Parousia Chapter 4- Cool Hoof Creed (Because BUCK Twilight!) // Story: Nature's Call // by Doc Crowl //------------------------------// “Move it!” Deluge growled loudly, poking me in the flank with a sharp claw. I had to bite my tongue to stop from turning around and giving her a piece of mind. Only the fact that we were in visual range of what I couldn’t believe was Ponyville stopped me, and I trotted forward as ordered. I had been stopping to admire the large, ugly wood walls built around the once dapper little town. The walls were massive, rising a few stories into the sky at least. It was a dark, gloomy morning with the sun being blocked by dark clouds gathering in the east. Were the weather pegasi not being allowed to do their job? Filing that bit of potentially useful information away, I looked at the defenses around Ponyville to see if I could spot any weaknesses. There were Diamond Dogs on top, watching in every direction. Several dozen at least patrolled the defenses, keeping up a constant vigilance for escaping ponies. Five or six large towers rose inside the village itself, inside of which I could only see dark shadows moving. The road we were taking lead straight to the large gate stuck in a seemingly impenetrable wall. It was a good twenty-five feet high, like the rest of the blockade. It was the gate our large group was headed for. About a third of the Diamond Dogs from our encounter with Gomorrah were accompanying Deluge and myself into Ponyville. The rest were waiting with Twilight, preparing themselves for my signals. When that signal was given, all hell would break loose. It was an amazing plan, full of deception and intrigue, which took hours to develop on the road. If all went well though, it would be stunning. As we approached the gate, one guard called down to us. “Deluge!” he yelled gruffly in greeting. He looked like a wiener dog, and wasn’t threatening whatsoever. “Guess there’s a reason he isn’t out hunting ponies,” I thought to myself. “Where the rest of your group?” he continued. “There much more when you left!” “Shut up, Buster!” Deluge called right back. “They’re with Gomorrah, still hunting for ponies in the west! We were sent back with this one- he’s real trouble!” Improvising, I bucked back hard, both to make her words more plausible and to get back for that nail earlier. I connected with the dead center of her chest, knocking out her wind, and within moments I was being held down by a large amount of Diamond Dogs. “See what I mean?” Deluge wheezed, clutching at her aching ribs. “Not only is he much bigger than usual, he’s got an attitude to match!” She kicked at my still exposed head, and I winked up at her before spitting with all my might. “Can see that,” Buster grumbled, motioning for the Diamond Dogs to stand back. Tossing me a few feet back for god measure, everyone stood well clear of the gate as it swung open. There was a team of huge Diamond Dogs in charge of opening the gate. Each larger than the ones I’d encountered at the Ballroom, they all looked like they could eat a pony with a single bite. They all growled at me as I was lead past them, a deep rumbling sound that left little to the imagination. When Ponyville was finally revealed, I couldn’t help but to gasp. The once carefree town was in shambles. Every window at ground level on the once-bright houses was broken. The brightness, the very magic of everything seemed faded and sucked away into gloom. Ponies milled about aimlessly, waiting for… something, I guess. There was a much larger amount of ponies here than I might have expected from watching the show, maybe triple the amount ever shown in a single shot. Everypony was wretched, their clothes ripped and their coats dirty. Apparently the Diamond Dogs had been very successful in rounding up their prey. When we reached an acceptable distance from the gates I was thrown roughly to the ground, and held down by a knee to the throat. As the muzzle was taken from my mouth, I worked my jaw to work some stiffness out. Letting me up after the painful experience, Deluge slapped me on my flank. Hard. “Get going!” she shouted at me, and I had no choice but to comply. I galloped toward the buildings, getting as far from the larger Diamond Dogs as I could. As I reached the first building, I briefly turned to watch Deluge’s ragtag band of Diamond Dogs walking back out the gate. Deluge gave a small nod when she thought no one was looking, and I nodded back. The last I saw of her was a pained visage disappearing behind the large gate as it was pulled back into place. There seemed to be… finality to that look, but I shook myself to deter from that train of thought. I knew I would see my friend as soon as it was time to save the ponies. Until then, I had to learn more about what was going on inside Ponyville. Deluge had filled me in as best she could, but the town itself was mostly unknown. Turning to examine the town more closely, I found myself face to face with the cutest welcoming party ever. “Howdy there!” Applebloom greeted me cheerfully. “Can we help you find any relatives, or a certain place or somethin’?” Scootaloo chimed in. “We’re trying to get our cutie marks!” Sweetie Bell added happily. Oh my Gawd, they were so sweet. Their bright smiles were in stark contrast to their dirty manes and coats, but their grime simply made their smiles shine even brighter as they looked up at me. I stood there a few seconds, my mind processing the cute overload, before snatching them all up in a bear hug. “You three are adorable!” I yelled, squeezing them like little teddy bears. “Even in this situation, you want to get your cutie marks! You rock!” Applebloom and Scootaloo fought to free themselves, but Sweetie Belle was totally comfortable and up for a chat. “Thanks!” she told me, still smiling as her friends desperately struggled. “My name's Sweetie Bell, and they're Scootaloo and Applebloom. We figured, since we’re stuck in Ponyville anyway, why not try to earn our cutie marks by showing the new ponies around?” I smiled; this would work well into Phase One! “Tell you what,” I said, setting them down gingerly. Scootaloo gasped for breath, while Applebloom glared at me. Cutest glare ever, in case you’re wondering. “My name is Creed, and I need to learn my way around Ponyville. The three of you probably know where everypony is, right?” They nodded vigorously. “So… can I help you earn your cutie marks by asking where certain ponies are?” I asked. They nodded again, their grins widening more than I thought their faces could handle. Scootaloo and Applebloom had apparently gotten over my awesome hug ability, as they were just as excited as Sweetie Bell. “Perfect!” I declared, and threw the three of them on my back with a bit of magic. While I had practiced on the trek over, that bit of levitation was about all I could handle. After letting them get comfortable, I got things started. “First off, direct me to the abode of one Twilight Sparkle!” I shot off into Ponyville, dodging ponies left and right. The CMC squealed with laughter, almost falling off on my back before they had time to say anything. Applebloom was the fastest thinking Crusader, and grabbed my ears to direct me. It only took a few minutes galloping at full speed before we reached the local library, housed within a tree for no apparent reason. It was large, homely, and smelled from a distance like an ancient book. “There it is!” Scootaloo shouted, slapping my back. “Faster!” Who am I to deny a cheering child? I pushed as hard as I could, shouting back, “You’re in control! Just make sure I don’t hurt myself!” The three cackled maniacally, and I knew I was in trouble. If it weren’t for Spike opening the front door just in time, I would have broken it down. Streaking past him, I instead slammed into a bookcase devoid of nice, soft books. “Those really would have been nice,” I thought to myself, actually seeing starts dancing around my head. I couldn’t say just how freaked out a levelheaded me would have been to see stars dancing around his head- I was thrown for a loop. Thankfully, the CMC had a nice, soft cushion for the collision: me. They were fine, giggling madly on top of me while I tried to clear my dancing vision of pesky yellow stars. Glad I could improve their day with my pain. “Thank you!” I called out dizzily, and heard a muffled answer. Looking up I saw Spike standing there with his little dragon arms folded around a gigantic pile of books, a muzzle on his mouth. The muzzle was black and seemed to shift; the same material that cloaked the Nuckelavee, I’d guess. I cringed at Spike’s misfortune; I knew first-hand what a muzzle felt like. I tried standing to help, momentarily forgetting about the couple of riders I had on top of me. The CMC fell to the ground, complaining loudly of their mishandling. “Oh, come off it!” I argued right back. “If not for your bad driving Applebloom, we wouldn’t be in this situation! And I think somepony *cough*Scootaloo*cough* needs to work on not slapping their chauffer!” “Well at least Ah don’t go around squeezing fillies left an’ right!” Applebloom shot back. A valid point. Turning back to Spike, I saw his mood hadn’t improved. Apparently he didn’t see either the Cutie Mark Crusaders or myself as sufficiently cute to legitimize the break-in of his home. “Mr. Spike the dragon, is it? Why are you so mad?” I asked, ruffling the scales on top of his head in an attempt to improve his mood. He slapped my hoof away, and pointed to the door. Looking more closely at the mute dragon, I saw he was in a similar condition as the ponies I’d seen earlier; he was smeared with dirt, his color was slightly faded, and there was a jaded air to him I hadn’t expected. Trotting to the door, I slammed it shut. As I turned around, I saw him drop the books to facepalm. Good! I was happy he couldn’t talk back, because this was actually important. “Alright Spike, time to talk!” I called as I trotted back. He just glared at me, and I looked over his shoulder. The CMC were running up the stairs to check out Twilight’s telescope, maybe trying to get star-themed cutie marks. Grabbing Spike by the shoulder and leaning in, I began whispering in his ear. “Twilight sent me, and I need you to start cooperating now if you want to see your friends free,” I muttered in a low enough voice that no prying ears could hear. I wasn’t about to let myself get caught off-guard by another Diamond Dog burrowing trick. Spike’s eyes went wide and he tried his hardest to talk, but all I heard was more mumbling. I shook my head. “Can’t understand you!” I reminded him. Running over to a pile of paper, he scratched something with a nearby quill, then rolled up the paper and brought it over. “Ack!” I yelled, smacking the scroll out of his hand. Scrolls are evil, remember? “Seriously, keep that thing away from me! I’m not touching it! I’ve got a much better idea!” I warned him. Rolling his eyes again, Spike went to pick the paper up. Instead, I galloped over, stomped on it, tore it up, and kicked away the debris. That wicked junk wasn’t getting near me without a fight! Reaching out with whatever magical perception I had gained, I probed at Spike’s muzzle. It actually seemed very familiar, and I immediately recognized why: it was like an extension of myself. That is, my human self. It absorbed the magic it came into contact with, including a little of my own. “Good thing I had enough experience with myself,” I thought, remembering indirect effects were the only magic that worked. I tore at the thing indirectly with some simple air currents, which was a bit draining. Since there was no direct contact, it had no magic to absorb; no magic absorbed, no magic denied! As the muzzle fell clear, it dissipated in midair. Creepy. Spike immediately opened his mouth, and spat out scroll after scroll of messages that had pent up since his muzzling. Apparently it had been a while, because they came shooting out of his maw with the speed and tenacity of a Gatling gun! I took this as an assault on my person, and acted accordingly: I cowered and flailed my arms! After the barrage had ended, I looked around to see the entire floor was covered in vile scrolls. I felt a bit threatened. “I can talk!” Spike shouted, punching his hand into the air. “Listen, sorry about being a grump; it’s been a bit depressing around here. But if you’re a friend of Twilight’s, then you’re a friend of mine! What can I do to help?” Never breaking eye contact with the nearest scroll, I pointed upstairs. “You can send up a breath of dragon fire when I give the signal. Don’t expect it for a few days at least; the signals are only to be sent out after each phase of the plan.” “Uh… OK!” he smiled. “You have no idea how good it is to be able to speak again! I’ve been moving all of these books out of the library and into a secret hiding spot so they won’t get damaged, along with anything in Ponyville that might be important later. Vinyl Scratch, Octavia and Derpy Hooves are helping me, actually; they’ll probably be here soon!” “Let me stop you right there, Spike,” I told him. “I have something important to ask about all those books you’ve been ferrying- have any of them been written by somepony that goes by ‘Q’?” “Um… no, I don’t think so,” he said, scratching his chin. “Anyway, when they get here, can you tell I already left?” While the three background ponies would be interesting to talk to, I felt like I needed to get going. Looking upstairs and seeing the Crusaders having a good time though, I decided I might as well let them enjoy themselves while they could. “Sure Spike, no problem,” I said, smiling a little as I watched the fillies fooling around with Twilight’s equipment. It wasn’t like I didn’t have days to get started on the plan anyway. Spike picked up the books he had dropped. “Well, I’ll see you later then. Thanks again!” he added, closing the door with his tail. I waved my hoof, not turning around. I was mesmerized by the Crusaders. They were covered in grime, their colors subdued and their hair a mess. Yet each one of them was having a good time, laughing and fooling around with her closest friends. While it made me smile, their laughter reminded me of my own friends. People I might never see again, friends and family who I would miss terribly. I sat down, recalling the time my father had tried to show me how to use a telescope that looked similar to the one the Crusaders were occupied with. I’d accidentally broken every lens the thing had. As I cried apologizing, thinking my father wouldn’t want to spend time watching the night skies with me anymore, he had picked me up and sat me down on the table the telescope had ben occupying. Despite the chemotherapy and failure of appetite, he still amazed me with how strong he was. “Do you think I care about some silly lenses?” he’d asked, laughing quietly as he wiped away my tears. “If every star in the sky had disappeared and left nothing but emptiness, I would still love to come out and watch the black sky with you.” A ghostly tear slowly ran down my cheek, but I was shaken from my flashback by the sound of the door opening. Quickly standing and wiping away the errant waterworks, I turned to greet the new arrivals with a smile. “Really, I just don’t understand your musical tastes,” Octavia was saying in a haughty British accent to Vinyl Scratch. “They’re just so… garish!” “Oh, Muffins!” Derpy replied, though I couldn’t tell whether in agreement or disagreement. “Hello, ladies!” I greeted, sniffing a little. “Wubadub what now?” Vinyl Scratch asked, pulling her sunglasses back. “What the hay you doin’ here, stranger?” She looked me once over. “Wait, were you cryin’?” Even through the blurry vision, I couldn’t help but to start laughing. “Your alter-ego is gonna be pissed, Vinyl!” I said, sitting back down to wipe my eyes of the last remnant of my memories. Now wasn’t the time to delve into personal pain; I had a job to do, damnit! Just as I was going to explain what I meant, I heard, “LOOK OUT!” from above, right before a certain flightless Pegasus slammed into me. I heard a chorus of ‘Ooooh’s from the three newcomers as Scootaloo body slammed me into the floor. And when I say into the floor, I mean my body actually broke the floor. The other two crusaders ran downstairs, asking if Scootaloo was alright. “That’s it!” I yelled, tossing Scootaloo out of the hole. She landed with a little ‘umph!’ and didn’t get up quick enough. “Now you’re going to get it!” Squealing, Sweetie Bell and Applebloom ran behind Octavia. Too slow, Scootaloo realized there was nowhere to run that I wouldn’t catch her- she’d already been cut off from her friends! “You’re ze first victim, eh?” I asked, in possibly the worst Transylvanian accent Equestria had ever heard. “Vell zen, Scoots, prepare yourselv: zis shall not be pleasant!” With that, I tackled Scootaloo and began a vicious attack the likes of which had not been seen since the Ursa Minor showed up! Tickling is an art really, and one that I pride myself on. As Scootaloo began crying “Stop, stop! I can’t breathe!” the other Crusaders suddenly found their courage. With a roar that would make a lesser stallion nervous, Applebloom jumped on my head while Sweetie Belle took my tail. “Ah got ‘im!” Apple bloom yelled, covering my eyes and jerking around to throw me off balance. “Rph hrmf grr!” Sweetie Bell responded, my tail taking up most of her mouth. “What? Can’t hear you Sweetie! My head is kind of busy!” I roared back, trying to throw Applebloom while holding Scootaloo down. It was incredibly difficult, and took most of my concentration. They would pay for their insolence! “I said, let go of her!” Sweetie Bell cried. What she didn’t realize was, by speaking, she had opened her mouth enough to let go of my tail and fly off. Unfortunately, that meant the counterbalance to the weight on my head was now gone- I was off balance, and going down fast. “TIMBER!” I yelled, falling in what seemed to be slow motion before slamming into Twilight’s floor. She should really think about some sort of softening spell; I’m sure Rainbow Dash’s cloud home doesn’t have problems with her floors knocking ponies silly. Sensing victory, Scootaloo and Sweetie Bell jumped onboard, and together managed to hold me down until I admitted defeat. Laughing, I remembered that we had an audience. Looking over at them, I saw mixed reactions. Octavia was shaking her head, I couldn’t tell whether Derpy was surprised or simply staring with a small grin, and Vinyl Scratch was snickering. Meh. I’ve had worse reactions before. “Alright girls, time to let the handsome stallion up!” I called out. There is such an ego boost in calling yourself a stallion! “Maybe later we can continue, but for right now I have to talk to these nice ponies.” While they complained, I pushed the trio off of me and stood up on shaky legs. Those Cutie Mark Crusaders really knew how to take it out of you! “So, uh, how ya doing?” I asked nonchalantly, trying to play off the fact that I was sore and somewhat childish. Only somewhat, mind you. “Better than you!” Derpy replied, trotting over to me. Her wings were bound in a fashion similar to Spike’s muzzle, a black shroud sort of thing. Glancing over at Vinyl Scratch, I saw a small band of the stuff around her horn. Derpy broke my concentration by striking my back before I could say anything, and I felt a wonderful CRUNCH spread throughout my spine. I relaxed immediately, sighing contentedly. Who knew ponies could compete with chiropractors? “Thanks, Derpy,” I smiled, looking into her wall-eyed stare. I had no idea which eye to look at exactly, but I figured the one staring back at me would be the correct one. They kept switching off, ruining my former game plan, so I just stuck with the one on the right. She smiled nicely. “No problem, buddy!” she said happily, turning from me to play with the Crusaders. My horn flared, and without her noticing, the black haze fell from her wings. “How you know our names, stranger?” asked Vinyl, reminding me that there were other ponies to talk to. “You some kinda… stalker, or somethin’? Cause that would be so cool if we finally got a stalker! Right, Octavia?!” She smiled wickedly, punching Octavia in the shoulder. Octavia declined to comment, simply rubbing her shoulder while scowling at me. Yeesh. Then Vinyl’s eyes lit up, changing color and disappointing me more than I could express. “Hey! That gives me inspiration for some new wubs!” she continued, unaware of my discontent. “Gonna have to write those down when we’re done helping Spike! Real quick though…” She focused back on me. “Whadya mean ‘your alter ego’?” After quickly giving me the once over, she added, “And why you look so down?” I sighed, kicking at the lip of the hole in Twilight’s floor. “Where I come from, you’re real admired; thing is, there’s no way for your real music to get to us, so your ‘alter ego’ creates music in your stead. Pretty good music, if you ask me! “Anyway,” I continued, looking back up at her once again cerise eyes and grinning, “There’s a big argument about what color your eyes are. Anyone with some sense knows they’re that cerise color they are now, but your ‘alter ego’ and many other believe they’re blood red!” I scoffed, and guessed I had just seen red in her eyes as a trick of the light. She stared at me for a second, and then smiled. “Look closer,” she told me, stepping nearer. As I looked into her eyes, they suddenly shifted into a blazing red that was… honestly, a little disconcerting. “Okay, that’s a little freaky!” I laughed, realizing everyone had been wrong. “They’re mood eyes!” “Yep!” she nodded, sliding her glasses back into place. “Whenever I get into the wub-makin’ mood, they turn red!” She looked over at Octavia, who was still glaring at me. “Guess they’re just a warnin’ ta my fillyfriend here!” She knocked Octavia on the shoulder again, which (while I’m sure it was painful) didn’t break Octavia’s death stare. Looking between the two of them, I finally realized that they were a couple. The way they stood so easily together, the little body movements that were always moving more toward the other than the rest of the room... They were a couple! An actual Equestrian lesbian couple! Take that Earth, openly gay ponies that aren’t being ostracized! “Good for you two!” I laughed. Octavia’s eyes didn’t shift. “Was it something I said? Or… do I stink?” I asked. I sniffed at my pits nervouslyhoping to diffuse the situation through humor- it’s gotten me through worse! Octavia wasn’t amused, and continued to glare. “How do you know all of our names?” she asked, the first thing she had said since trotting in. “Where’s Spike? What caused you to cry? Where did you come from?” she shot off in quick succession, her eyes narrowed angrily. Not only did I want to avoid any lengthy explanations, I didn’t really feel like getting into a row with a fan favorite. Those bronies would kill me if I ever hurt their little cello player! I backed up a little, holding my forehooves in the air. “Octavia, I promise I’m not evil or anything. I’m actually here to help, and you have much bigger problems here than me. Spike’s already off to wherever ‘secret spot’ you guys have, so I think you should focus on helping him before you get into a spat with somepony you don’t even know.” Octavia stepped forward threateningly, snorting. “What makes you think I couldn’t handle myself accordingly? Besides, why should we believe you?” she asked. “How are we to know you aren’t some spy!? You haven’t one of those inhibitors all the adult unicorns are required to wear!” Good point. I paled as I realized I might be sticking out more here than I should have been. Vinyl realized there was some major tension in the air. “Woah there, Octy! This guy ain’t one of them, alright? We ponies need to stick together if we’re gonna beat down those Nuckelavee freaks!” She moved between myself and Octavia, and I got the distinct feeling that it was more for my protection then her fillyfriend’s. “Right, time to go kiddos!” I called out nervously, prancing toward the door. “Thing is, while I’d just love to stay and chat about the Stephen Hawking interpretation of how I might be here, you mares need to go help Spike! I promise I’ll explain everything soon, but I need to tend to some business first!” I was at the door now, and ready to bolt. Just needed one thing before I went… “Cutie Mark Crusaders! Assemble!” I called out, grabbing the three fillies from their play with Derpy using a little unicorn magic. While it wasn’t the sort of badass outro the Avengers would approve of, I was quite satisfied with the fact that I got away. And that’s all that really matters, right? “Where yah off to now, Creed?” Applebloom asked, latching onto my ears once more as we raced from the sounds of a heated argument back in the Library. “Since we already saw Vinyl Scratch and Spike,” I shot back, dodging around a particularly unhappy-looking pony, “We can skip right down the list to Lyra Heartstrings!” I was pretty excited to meet Lyra. If she had previous knowledge of humans in Equestria, maybe she could point me home after everything here was finished! “I just hope she doesn’t judge me if I tell her I’m a hu-” Applebloom twisted sharply, breaking me out of my internal monologue and directing me away from where I though Lyra might live. “What gives?!” I whined loudly, but quickly had to focus on dodging ponies. They were getting thick! “Lyra’s probably in the town square, taking care of lunch,” Sweetie Bell informed me. “Yeah, she sorta took over caring for the Elements when they got locked up,” Scootaloo added. “‘Locked up’?” I asked, concerned. Deluge never mentioned the Mane Six (minus Twilight) being locked up in the town square! “Yeah, see fer yerself!” Applebloom yanked my ears back. I assumed that meant stop, and I put on the brakes just as hard as she pulled on my ears. In retrospect, that probably wasn’t the best idea, because the three adorable fillies went flying off my back. They flew over the crowd of ponies milling about aimlessly, and landing face first in the dirt, actually made three parallel divots in the ground up to a wooden platform. Looking up, I saw we had reached the square. While most stayed to the edges for some reason, there were a few ponies in the very middle- on top of the wooden platform. I quickly realized it was the four of the Mane Six, as well as some other ponies. The Elements of Harmony looked absolutely miserable. Applejack was hanging her head, hatless, in a wooden stockade. She wasn’t looking around or talking, just hanging her head. She seemed defeated, which was something I would never expect from the hard-fighting cowgirl. Pinkie Pie was actually in a straitjacket, hanging upside down from a wooden pole’s arm like some strange Houdini trick. She was blabbing to Bonbon, and actually smiling. You can always count on Pinkie to be chipper I suppose! Rarity was in a large cage. She was awake, and crying something about “no pillows” and “ruffians” to Lyra while she was being fed. I noticed a black coating to Rarity’s horn, completely engrossing the pearly white appendage. Lyra simply had a ring of the black gunk around her horn, similar to Vinyl Scratch. Fluttershy was the least restrained of the Elements; she lay on the open ground, with what looked like chains around the base of her wings and legs. She was laying still, her head resting on her forehooves, and she seemed to be silently crying. Rainbow Dash was nowhere to be seen. Lyra and Bonbon were walking up and down the line of wooden constructions with bowls of mush. “Y’all better hope Applebloom didn’t get hurt, else Ah’m gonna beat yer flank like it’s never been beat before!” I heard a southern-laced voice yell out. “Well, crap,” I thought to myself. “Things are already off to a bad start with Applejack… but at least she’s paying attention again!” Ignoring Applejack for now, I trotted forward to check on Scootaloo, Applebloom and Sweetie Bell. Pulling them out of their respective ruts and dusting them off, I saw they were fine except for some dirt in their mouths, and still in high spirits. “Don’t be mad at ‘im Applejack!” Applebloom came to my aid, spitting clods of dirt. “Then he might not wanna be the newest member ‘a the Cutie Mark Crusaders!” “Yeah!” the other two chimed in. At first I was elated… but then my heart hit my stomach when the implication registered: I had no cutie mark! Glancing back, I saw my flank was as blank as a baby’s bottom. I hadn’t even noticed! WHAT KIND OF A BRONY AM I?!? I looked around, and saw that not only were Lyra and Bonbon staring at me, but Applejack was glaring, the crowd had quieted, and Pinkie wasn’t babbling for once. “And just who are you, exactly?” Lyra asked defiantly. She held the bowl of mush with one hoof in front of her cautiously, as if said bowl would stop any unwanted assaults. There was an enormous whistling sound, and everypony looked around for the source. Looking to the right, I saw that the vortex sucking in wind was none other than Pinkie Pie, who was actually swinging forward she was drawing breath so hard. I mentally braced myself. “OHMYGOSHWHATSYOURNAMEIMPINKIEPIEANDIWANTUSTOBEFRIENDS! HOWDIDYOUMEETTHECUTIEMARKCRUSADERS? AREYOUGUYSGOINGTOHAVEACEREMONY? ‘CAUSETHATWOULDMEANYOUHAVETOHAVEAPARTY!” Pinkie voiced, swinging back with the out blast. She could easily compete with the Royal Canterlot Voice if she wanted to. Somehow, she ripped her way out of the straitjacket and fell to the ground, bounced, and launched herself at me with the speed (and weight) of a cruise missile. Harry Houdini himself would have been proud. As she slammed into me, my breath was immediately knocked out. Hitting the ground with an “OOF!” as what air remained vacated my lungs, I found myself looking into the strangely tranquil eyes of Pinkie Pie. I reflected that it was odd her seemingly calm eyes could conceal her true insanity so well. “What is your name!” she asked/yelled again, obviously excited. “Name’s Creed!” I gasped out, still trying to draw breath back into my lungs. The stupid things wouldn’t cooperate, and left me floundering like a fish out of water. She looked around with her eyes squinted, briefly studying the crowd. "I think someponies need cheering up, don't you think?" she asked me in a hushed tone. She met my incredulous gaze, and gave a quick wink. Pinkie Pie jumped off of me, and stood up on her hind legs. Breathing in again, I heard a bit of music coming from absolutely nowhere and everywhere at once. It was a piece of music that anyone who dares call themselves a brony would recognize immediately, and I wasn’t one to disappoint. “My name is Pinkie Pie! Hello!” she sang out, waving to me as I lay on the ground. I saw the ponies around the square stop what they were doing and start to grin as they swayed to “Smile Smile Smile.” “And I am here to say! How ya doin’? I’m gonna make you smiiiile and I will brighten up your daaaaay!” she continued, not caring for the fact that it was actually terribly gloomy. Let’s get something straight: no matter how much I may like the song, the idea of actual music numbers freak me the hell out. Singing to a nonexistent beat, with people they’ve never met, who just so happen to know exactly what beat and song you are singing to, despite it being completely original… *shudder* “STOP!” I screamed, breaking Pinkie Pie from her insanity-fueled, nightmare-inducing musical number as she was just getting to the chorus. “What… what’s the matter, Creed?” Pinkie Pie asked, her hair starting to deflate. “Don’t you like to smile?” She sounded heartbroken, and her hair was making the noise of a balloon slowly dying as it lost its luster. “No no, smiling is great!” I immediately corrected, forcing myself to beam as I stood up from the dirt. “I’m smiling right now, see? It’s just that, uh, you make me smile so much when you sing that I would hurt my face! Yeah, that’s it!” Her hair stopped its deflation, but didn’t puff back up. The ponies all around us seemed a tad bit sad I had cancelled their nonrehearsed dance of horror, but I could live with that. “Are you sure?” Pinkie asked, her lower lip trembling a little. “Of course it isn’t you, silly!” I nodded, compelling my smile to be even wider. “Tell you what, I’ll keep this smile up all day just so you know I’m telling the truth!” I mentally facepalmed as I said those words, but they seemed to do the trick. “Okie dokie lokie!” she jumped into the air, her hair expanding at an impossible rate to its former glory. “Then let’s just skip the songs for now and get down to partying! These ponies are in desperate need of some good feelings!” She whipped out party hats for everypony, and had them fastened to each and every individual head in the square within a few seconds. There was a falling of confetti from somewhere in the atmosphere, and while the party was physically impossible, I must say I was enjoying it. It was a small escape from the dreariness of Ponyville while it lasted. That is, until I got a party cannon in the face. I was knocked away by the blast, and landed on my back a few feet away. I looked up, and was right in front of Applejack. She was glaring down at me, apparently still a little miffed about her little sister’s face. “Pinkie may accept you ‘Creed’, but remember Ah’ve got mah eye on you,” she threatened, glaring at me with all the venom she could muster. It honestly wasn’t all that much venom, at least compared to Octavia, but it was still enough to convince me she wasn’t messing around. “Ah, give ‘im a rest Applejack!” Applebloom called, trotting over with her friends to help me up. Her little party hat was crooked, and I fixed it for her as I stood. “It’s our fault for stopping him so fast, anyway,” Sweetie Bell added, looking at me innocently. “Sorry about that. I hope it doesn’t mean you won’t join our club?” “Never!” I huffed dramatically, and then looked around suspiciously. “The only thing is… with me being so much older, it might make the other ponies jealous! So let’s hold off on that, shall we?” The three fillies looked around as well, scanning the crowd. “Who, do ya think?” Scootaloo asked me in a hushed tone. “That doesn’t matter right now!” I whispered conspiratorially, snatching them all into a huddle around Applejack. “What matters is that we accomplish Phase One of my plan to free everypony! By the way, it’s called ‘Operation: Cool Hoof Creed’. In case anypony like Twilight asks.” That really got Rarity's attention. “Oh darling, it’s fantastic you’re in contact with our friend! Hurry and free me then, won’t you?” Rarity asked in a posh voice, pressing her face against the bars of her cage. “I must get out of this cage- it’s simply barbaric the way they’ve been treating us! Not even a pillow for the cold, hard ground! And all the ponies they’ve taken!” she shuddered visibly. “Alright, I s’pose we’d be mighty thankful if you’d be kind enough to help us out,” Applejack put in, grumbling. I chuckled nervously, and avoided eye contact. “Yeah, see, heh, the thing is, Phase One doesn’t exactly… involve… either of you…” I dared to look up, and saw Applejack with tears in her eyes. Rarity was staggering backwards like she had been dealt a grievous blow, and sat down hard. She was more shocked than anything, so I quickly decided Applejack needed some kind words more than her. “No no no, don’t cry!” I pleaded, trotting the few steps over to Applejack. I wiped away the tears that had already started to fall, and put my hoof under her chin to make her look me in the eyes. It was pitiful, the crushed spirit I saw within those green eyes that usually held so much spunk. “I promise, there’s a reason it has to be this way,” I told her as consolingly as possible. “In truth, it’s the only way to ensure the safety of both of you.” I looked at Rarity, and saw I had her rapt attention. “And how, pray tell, are we safer in chains than we would be free?” she asked, gesturing toward Fluttershy. Despite all the commotion, and somehow gaining a slice of chocolate cake/gift bag combo, Flutterhsy was still lying on the ground looking spent. She sighed, and I saw her push the plateful of colorful cake away. “First of all, only Fluttershy is in chains,” I corrected her. “Secondly, the two of you will be safer in captivity, because there’s no safe way for you both to get out of Ponyville when Phase One goes into effect.” I glanced at Pinkie Pie, who was still bouncing around handing out balloon animals and streamers. I would never let on to the ponies, but my adrenaline was pumping and I was stressing the hell out. “In fact, I wouldn’t even be enacting Phase One tonight, but with Pinkie Pie free we have to step up the timetable. I needed to much more time to prepare...” I returned to Applejack. "I promise you, everypony's goin to get out of this alright. If there was any other way-" she cut me off. "It's fine," she said. "Ah understand... just don't go forgettin' us here, y'hear?" I nodded, knowing that, of any pony here, Applejack would be the one to count on as a rock. Turning to the Cutie Mark Crusaders, I saw they had been listening the entire time. I was a little surprised they hadn’t scampered off to harass anypony, but I guess they’d taken an affinity to me. Probably not a good idea, if everything was going to go to plan. That, or they were still hoping they could earn their cutie marks through me. Moochers. “Cutie Mark Crusaders!” I ordered in my most authoritative tone. They immediately straightened up and looked forward, like the good little soldiers they needed to be. “Your mission,” I started, pacing in front of them, “should you choose to accept it, is to detain one Pinkamena Diane Pie, and harness her physics-bending magical properties to unleash Fluttershy from her bonds.” I came to a full stop, staring hard at them each in the face “Are we clear?” “Crystal, sir!” they rang out in unison. “Fantastic! Now, turn tail and track her down, fillies! I just want to tell you three good luck. We're all counting on you.” They ran off like they were on a holy mission after they saluted, right for the bouncing pink pony herself. I don’t know what they would have to say or do to convince her, but I figured nopony, not even Pinkie Pie, could resist their cuteness. Turning around, I saw Applejack cocking her head to one side (pretty hard to do while in stocks) while Rarity’s jaw was hanging dangerously close to the ground. “Surely you can’t be serious?!” she gasped. “Placing our collective fate in the hooves of those three? Even if she is my sister, that doesn’t mean Sweetie Bell is ready for a responsibility of that magnitude!” “Of course I’m serious!” I shot back. “And don’t call me Shirly!” While Applejack and Rarity were sufficiently confused by my retort, I stole my way over to Phase One’s objective: Fluttershy. Even as I approached, she remained inanimate. As I was about to reach her, I was halted by a small but fairly self-righteous looking mint green pony standing in my way. “I have no idea just who you think you are,” Lyra scolded, either unnoticing or uncaring by our obvious size differences. “But that poor pony over there is my responsibility, and you are not going near her unless you give me a good enough reason! No matter how big or intimidating you may be!” I tried pushing past her, but she wouldn’t budge. “Is that so?” I asked her, drawing myself up to full height. I stood a head and shoulders above her, and was pretty sure I could take her if the need arose. My ire was starting to rise; I had to get Fluttershy out of there now, before the guards showed up, if Phase One was going to be possible. “Who decided these mares were your responsibility?” I asked her. “I did!” she growled back, her horn starting to glow. I saw the magical inhibitor placed on her horn starting to swell as it took in her magic, but Lyra didn’t seem to notice. “Now either you get to explaining, or I’m gonna get to thrashing!” Alright, so the background pony had some cajones! “In that case…” I bent down, my own horn blazing as I used the same trick on Lyra’s horn as I had on Spike and Derpy’s restraints. The black abomination fell from Lyra’s horn, and dissipated as it made contact with the ground. “Right! Now then!” I said, straightening back up again. “I’m going to talk to Fluttershy, and give her strength for the role she’s going to play! If you ever want Equestria to be free from the Nuckelavee, you’ll move aside immediately!” She watched the wisp of an inhibitor as it faded away, then at me for a few moments with an expression I couldn’t read. As I was about to speak again, she stepped silently aside. “Thank you!” I smiled brightly, trotting past her. She fell into step right next to me, making certain I knew that I would be under close supervision. She was acting extremely protective of Fluttershy; I hoped that didn’t spell disaster for the plan. Flutterhsy was an integral part of Phase One. I mean, she basically was Phase One! “Fluttershy?” I asked as quietly as I could, sitting down in front of the yellow pegasus. Her eyes were closed, and she only made a small noise in response. Glancing back at Lyra, who didn’t react, I couldn’t tell if that was a good or bad sign. Being the optimist that I am, I decided to take it as a signal to continue. “Fluttershy, can you look at me?” I asked, lowering my face until we were eye to eye. Her lids slowly opened, and I saw her cyan eyes filled with pain. Not physical pain, because I couldn’t see a bruise on her, but a deep emotional pain. For her friends, her animal friends, for all of Equestria. All I felt was a deep desire to make sure she never had to feel that way again. “Hi there, Fluttershy,” I said softly, waving one hoof without breaking eye contact. She regarded me distantly, and I remembered the old tales about the ‘Thousand Yard Stare’. If there ever was one in Equestria, this was it. “I’m going to get you out of here, Fluttershy,” I continued. “When I do, I need your help to save all of your friends. Are you following me?” Her eyes brightened a little, and she nodded slowly, cocking her head to one side. “But… why do you need my help?” she asked. They were the first words I’d heard her speak, and I was barely able to discern what she said. Thankfully pony ears are much more sensitive, so I was able to pick up her little voice. I lifted my head a bit and smiled encouragingly, hoping she would do the same. To my happiness, she did; her head lifted up as high as mine, and she gazed at me with her head cocked a little. “I need you to be brave, for everypony you know, because you’re the first step in returning Equestria to its rightful owners,” I told her proudly. She squeaked, and covered her head with her hooves. The chains fastened around her legs and wings screeched horribly, reminding me of the terrible conditions she had been put under for who knows how long. I lifted a hoof to console her, looking back first to see if Lyra would allow it. She nodded once, never breaking eye contact with Fluttershy. Placing the hoof on Fluttershy’s back, I rubbed a little right where I knew many humans kept their tension. There are such ‘trigger points’ all over the body, and Sports Medicine had taught me that rubbing them out will calm even the worst injured athlete. It ponies were no different; after a few moments, I saw Fluttershy start to relax. She sighed after a while longer, bringing her hooves down from on top of her head. Seeing she was ready to come out of her shell, I tried again. “Listen to me Fluttershy,” I said smoothly, still rubbing. “All we need from you is to fly with Pinkie Pie to that special clearing you showed Twilight. Do you know where I’m talking about?” She nodded blissfully, even smiling a little as she leaned into my hoof. “Is that all?” she asked dreamily. “That’s all,” I agreed, smiling a bit myself. “And when you get there, Twilight will be waiting for you.” Fluttershy’s eyes came open, and she smiled brightly. “Really?!” she asked enthusiastically, flapping her wings a little. She glanced back at them at the sound of the chains, and her smile started to fade. Turning back to me with despair once again in her eyes, she asked, “But how do I know it’s real this time? I’ve flown away so many times before…” She drifted to a stop, her eyes lowering slowly to stare at the cold ground. “How do I know I’m not dreaming again?” she asked quietly of no one in particular. “How do I know I’m not insane?” A shadow passed over Lyra’s face, and she looked away. I looked back to Fluttershy, and felt a new fire flare within me. “Listen to me, Fluttershy!” I snapped as loudly as I dared. She was startled, and jerked back a bit as she brought her gaze back to me. “I am definitely real!” I told her, standing up to my full height. “And right now I’m giving you the chance to save yourself and Pinkie Pie, the chance to fly away to meet one of your best friends, the chance to save Equestria itself!” I turned around, and directed her gaze with a hoof. The ponies all around the square were fixated on Pinkie Pie, and the antics of the CMC as they tried to talk to her. The crowd was brightening, but the evidence of their bondage was still there. Any unicorns had their horns wrapped in the same magical trappings as Lyra, and any pegasi had their wings bound like Derpy. They all had bags under their eyes, looking decidedly frail and faded. “Is this what you want for everypony you know?” I asked Fluttershy, looking sideways at her to make sure she was taking it all in. Her eyes looked out over the crowd, and I saw her straighten a little. “No,” she whispered, quietly. “Is this how you want to remain for the rest of your life?” I asked, jingling the chains around her wings. “No,” she said with more force, her wings unfurling. “Then just remember this, Fluttershy,” I told her, squatting back down on my forehooves so we were looking each other in the eyes. “Never be afraid to fall apart; it’s only an opportunity to rebuild yourself how you always wanted to be. After all,” I added, a wicked grin showing on my face. “It’s sometimes the appropriate response to reality to go insane.” She smiled for the first time, and nodded confidently. “I’ll remember that Creed,” she told me assuredly. “Just give me the chance, and I promise I won’t let anypony down!” I hadn’t realized she was paying attention when I told Pinkie Pie my name. “She’s even stronger than even she knows,” I chuckled inwardly. “Good!” I cried as I straightened back up. Looking over to see how the Cutie Mark Crusaders were doing, I saw Pinkie Pie trotting our way. “Of course we should let Fluttershy out! She needs cheering up more than anypony else!” she huffed, sidling up next to me. “Hey Creed,” she mumbled out of the side of her mouth, staring at the chains surrounding Fluttershy and bolting her to the ground. “Enjoying the party?” she asked as she nonchalantly tapped one chain. Her ‘little tap’ broke that single link. I was amazed when the entire pile of chains fall off from around Fluttershy. I didn’t even know they were all connected like that! “Hmmm?” she asked again, looking at me. I gulped. “I love it!” I smiled, and got an even larger one in return. “Goodie!” Pinkie Pie cried, jumping up on her back legs and clapping her forehooves together excitedly. “Oh, I wish Twilight were here to party with us!” Aaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnd segue! “You know Pinkie,” I whispered in her ear as Fluttershy stood up and stretched her wings. “Fluttershy there is going to take you out of Ponyville to go get Twilight for exactly that purpose!” Pinkie Pie looked like her smile was going to split her head apart. “Really?!?” she gasped. “You found Twilight?!?” She grabbed me in a bear hug that would have put every manly man on Earth to shame. As a fellow hug enthusiast, I returned it with as much gusto as possible. Unfortunately my arms were caught, so I settled for a small reach around as she lifted me into the air. “You are SO one of my new bestest friends!” she yelled, twirling me around. I laughed like a little kid on a Disney park ride. If not for her freakish strength and reality-bending displays of Pinkamena Power, I would have been terrified. As things stood, I felt very comfortable. “Pinkie, um, can you put Creed down please? We need to get going,” Fluttershy asked in her small voice. I was dropped by Pinkie immediately, and think I sprained the base of my tail if that’s at all possible. Looking over at Fluttershy, I saw doubt weaving its way across her face. “Creed, what if we don’t find Twilight?” she asked, her eyebrows stitching together. “What if we get lost? Or attacked? Or what if-” Fluttershy’s descent back into self-doubt was halted with a swift intervention by Lyra. “What kind of talk is that?” she scolded Fluttershy. “Come on, you know you can fly higher than those things! And you’re the last hope we have here; we know you won’t fail!” Looking at myself and the Cutie Mark Crusaders who had come up while I was being twirled around, Lyra gave us each a pointed glare. “Don’t we?” she asked. “Obviously!” “100 percent!” and “You betchya!” came from the three fillies, while I only managed to choke out a “Yes ma’am!” as I rubbed my sore plot. Apparently satisfied, Lyra turned back to Fluttershy, saying “There, you see? We all have faith in you, so you can’t fail!” Fluttershy nodded slowly. Turning to Pinkie Pie, she asked, “Are you ready to go, Pinkie?” “You bet your flank I’m ready to go!” Pinkie responded powerfully, dropping into a four point stance. “Lift when ready!” Flapping her wings, Fluttershy grabbed under Pinkie’s arms and started to fly. Up, up she went, further and further into the sky. “Don’t forget to go to the clearing!” I called after them, and I think I saw Pinkie salute before they flew off into the distance. There were calls from all around town, mainly coming from the watchtowers that dotted its perimeter. Diamond Dogs were pointing up to the sky, and while many were laughing, there were plenty who seemed awful mad. Some of those less amused puppies ran into the town square. “What pony let flyer free?!?” called out a big one. He must have been related to a Saint Bernard or something, ‘cuz he was thick! He looked around desperately, apparently hoping somepony would sell out. Nopony said a word. “Time for phase two,” I mumbled to myself, and started to step forward. I was stopped short (again) by a certain mint green mare. “What do you think you’re doing?!” she hissed, staring hard into my eyes. “Nopony said anything for a reason: they don’t want anypony else being taken away!” I glanced around, and saw that the smiles hadn’t left the faces of the ponies in the square. They wore their ridiculous party hats with pride, and some were still munching on cake. As I studied the crowd, I saw Vinyl Scratch, Derpy and Octavia gallop into the square. Looking right at me, I saw Vinyl smile and nod- though those may have just been headbangs. Octavia was noticeably sour, and glared with an unfettered rage. If at all possible, she looked more mad than she did before. Derpy at least had the intelligence to hide behind her friends so the Diamond Dogs didn’t notice her lack of restraints. The Cutie Mark Crusaders ran to meet her. “See what I mean?” Lyra asked in a hushed whisper. “Nopony’s done anything but accept what’s going on. We aren’t fighters here in Ponyville! We need somepony with a plan, and all of them have already been taken away!” I smiled, and waved back to Vinyl. “A plan, I have.” The large Diamond Dog started interrogating the ponies unfortunate enough to be around him. She looked at me, studying intently for a few moments. “What makes you so special?” she probed. “Why are you so different than any of the ponies from other towns? Where exactly are you from?” I smiled genuinely, and patted her on the shoulder. “You know Lyra, you’re pretty observative. It’s good you’re so forward, it’ll get you far in life.” She just sniffed, trying to look like she didn’t care, but I saw the corners of her mouth lift a little. Flattery really does go a long way, even in another universe! “So,” I continued, pacing past her to meet Large Dog. “I’ll tell you this: as far as I know, I’m the first one from my world to visit Equestria.” I stole a look over one shoulder, and saw confusion cross her face. “Just tell Spike for me that this is the signal, ok?” She nodded, still trying to sort her way through what I had just told her. As I trotted toward the Diamond Dogs, I saw many ponies shaking their heads emphatically. I gave them a reassuring smile, and continued on my march. “Who did it?” the Saint Bernard demanded, shaking an especially small pony. “Why don’t you try picking on somepony your own size?” I asked, tapping at his shoulder. I know, it’s a cliché, but I’ve always wanted to say that! He turned around with a growl, but as soon as he did, he stopped. While he was definitely the largest Diamond Dog I had seen, he still wasn’t nearly as big as me. He was staring straight into my throat, and had to raise his head to look me in the eye. He gulped comically, looking around him for support. The other Diamond Dogs were watching the situation, waiting for him to do something. Returning his gaze to me, I saw his eyes harden as he found his resolve. Typical bully mentality. Save his image around friends, but only when superior numbers made it safe. He growled menacingly again, his sharp claws coming out from his paw. While Deluge had showed me her prehensile claws, his were a great deal bigger. They shone with an evil glare, and were bloody red. “So, you the pony that set flier free?” he asked, and I had to hold myself back from correcting his grammar. “Yes,” I hissed through clenched teeth, trying to keep myself from letting my inner Grammar Nazi shine forth. “And might I ask what your name is, pup?” His rumble grew, both at my insult and the fact that I wasn’t cowering in front of him. “Lance,” he spat when he saw I wasn’t going to back down. “And you not goin’ get any mercy from me, pony!” “Mercy?” I asked, feigning ignorance. “Whatever do you mean? I’m just a simple unicorn, new to the town; I’m not asking for sympathy or mercy, anything like that. What exactly is it you big bad puppies do with misbehaving ponies?” Of course, I knew the answer; Deluge had explained that much. I just hoped he really wouldn’t show any mercy. If he did, Phase Two would be ruined. His mouth widened into a wicked excuse for a smile. “They meet Nahor!” “Phew!” I exclaimed, waving a hoof in front of my face and making a disgusted face. “Bad case of doggy breath, dude! Close that thing before the halitosis spreads!” I couldn’t help but start cracking up at the look on his face. Obviously, not many ponies talk back like I do; otherwise, you’d expect him to be able to hold his temper better! My laughs died down into guffaws as I looked back up at him. I wasn’t fast enough to react to his claws flashing toward my head; the best I could do was try to duck. As I pulled my head away, I could already tell it wasn’t going to be enough. The four blades that cut my cheek to ribbons felt burning hot, but didn’t hurt as much as I’d expected. A gasp rose from the crowd, and I heard an enraged group of Cutie Mark Crusaders being held back by the combined effort of Vinyl Scratch and Derpy. Lance’s smirk filled my vision, and I couldn’t help but want to hit back. Hard. He was so cocky, so sure that the meek ponies of Ponyville would never hit back. The thing was, I wasn’t from anywhere even remotely close to Ponyville. If I still had fists, they’d have been clenched tight because I knew I couldn’t retaliate. That would ruin Phase Two, and complicate the plan down the line. Instead, I simply stood up straight and smiled. It was a forced smile, but a shining one. And it seemed to scare the bejeezus out of Lance. “That wasn’t very nice,” I tutted. “Really, didn’t your mother teach you better than that? Why don’t you just do your job mutt, and take me to your leader.” I’d always wanted to say that too! “I’m sure he could do much better than that pathetic attempt at retribution, anyway. Are all Diamond Dogs as pansy with their punishments, or are you the shining example of ‘how to treat your prisoners right’?” His eyes were the size of saucers. He didn’t move again, and neither did any of the other Diamond Dogs. They were all watching their ring leader, who wasn’t used to somepony actually standing up for themself. Blood ran down my chin from the four parallel marks across my cheek, but did nothing to mar the dazzling smile I gave to Lance. I didn’t have to say anything else, even if I really wanted to. I held my tongue, praying that Lance did the intelligent thing and took me to this ‘Nahor’ guy like he was supposed to. The tension was thick in the air, even if I did my best to ignore it. I heard somepony trying to stifle a laugh, and failing miserably. It certainly wasn’t a sound anyone expected to hear in the middle of such a situation, myself least of all. Looking back, I saw Lyra holding herself up against Applejack’s stocks. She was shaking, and Applejack started sputtering alongside her. “What so funny?” Lance demanded, echoing my thoughts exactly. “You!” Lyra gasped, holding her side with one forehoof while the other braced against the wooden construction. “Haha! H-he he just insulted you, took your shot openly [gasp] and… and.. hehehehe.. all you can do is take him to somepony else like a good dog!” Even Rarity couldn’t help but titter herself, holding one hoof over her mouth. I didn’t see what was so funny really, but the ponies were soon all giggling. Did being in such a dire situation make even the smallest amount of comedy worth laughing at? Or maybe they understood that I was just trying to egg Lance on to take me to the prison? No matter the reason, Lyra’s leadership and laughter were effective. Lance was burning with embarrassment. “Take him!” he ordered his troops, his voice breaking a little. I simply smiled at his underlings, offering no resistance as they forced me toward the western exit of the town square. As we passed right by the stage of sorts, I saw the Lyra’s laughter was indeed faked. A dark shadow of concern passed over her when she turned away from the crowd to watch the procession. “Tell Spike!” I called out, my smile never faltering. She waved once, morose, and I felt a little sad to see her so unhappy. I shook the feeling away, and turned to trot toward the ‘Detention Hall’ that Deluge had told me about. Hopefully, I wouldn’t be too long; I still had plenty of questions to ask Lyra about the possibilities of humans in Equestria before me. …Also, I didn’t want the torture to last too long.