Part Three
Well Wishing
Autumn Winds had a bad feeling.
Only now did the soft brown and cream pegasus start to realize how dumb what they had just done was. The four advisors had always worked together to make decisions, and together they often came up with brilliant solutions to problems that could even make Celestia herself falter in her calm stride. Unlike the others, however, he knew that Celestia’s decision to have four of them was for a very good reason. It wasn’t, as Cheery thought, an Alicorn’s derision at the “mortal folk,” or, as Earl often thought, a scheme to keep them at bay with each other so that he couldn’t work his magic on her. Autumn struggled not to groan as he realized that he had, admittedly unintentionally, left one of the new, and probably very lost Queens, in the hooves of the most manipulative and power-hungry politician in all of Canterlot. Knowing Earl Gray, he was probably trying to twist the poor girl around his hoof into doing things his way, or according to the soot-headed fool, the “right” way.
No, Autumn knew the reason why Celestia had four advisors rather than one was because they were all idiots… At least in comparison to her, a millennia-old goddess who had probably seen and dealt with just about everything. And yes, he knew that included himself, because if he had been half as intelligent as her, he would have insisted they think this twice-blasted thing through first instead of shooting off in four different directions as they had.
Why did he go along with this? He knew better than this. For a second, Autumn was grateful that it was the young Pinkie Pie cheerily striding beside him, and not the calm Celestia, for she would have seen through his poker face in a heart-beat as he struggled to find a way to make the best of what was no doubt going to be an all-round disaster. If that had been the case, he would be on the sad and disappointed gaze of his Princess instead of the almost blindly trusting smile of The Element of Laughter.
Suppressing a depressed sigh, Autumn tried to prioritize his concerns as they neared their destination. Well, at least it was Rainbow Dash that ended up with Earl. From what I’ve seen from the Element of Loyalty, she’s strong and stubborn. He might not be able to even get a foothold with her. I certainly hope so… If we get this done in time, we’ll go help her next… I think Earl mentioned the Gala, the ballrooms aren’t too far away. In the mean-time though, we’ll get this task ahead of us done.
“So, where we goin’ Windy?”
Autumn Wind quickly glanced up at Pinkie as she spoke. Err… Queen Pinkie. A tiny part of his brain twitched at the title. He knew Luna had insisted upon the title, saying it was the proper one, the one that should have been in use the past millennia, but it still felt weird to him. For as long as Canterlot could remember, it had always been “Princess” and he knew part of Cheery’s masked derision at the new Queens was directed purely at the new title. She had already been infuriated that six “Nobodies” had been picked rather than a blood-line noble, and no matter how much he had pointed out that it was due to the Elements, not favouritism, (Okay, maybe a little favouritism) her violet eyes never lost their indignant fury behind her mask.
“Arrrre ya gonna tell me, or do I have to guess?” Pinkie asked, going nose to nose with her advisor as he struggled to pull his thoughts back on track. “’Cause if it’s a guessing game, I’m really good at them! Well, except that one time at the Summer Sun celebration- I was way off! I’d never have guessed a Princess! With all the “Grr!” and the *BOOM!* and the MWAHAHAHHAHA! And stuff.”
Autumn blinked as he let out a small nervous laugh. Pinkie was just as energetic as she had been on the day she had snuck into the castle to throw a get-well party for the Prin- Err, Celestia.
“No guessing games this time, I’m afraid. We’re going to the vaults. The Royal Treasury, to be exact. A lot of paperwork had built up in the past few days, and if the back-log isn’t dealt with soon, its going to cause some major problems.”
“Oh… Okay.”
Autumn didn’t miss the slight falter in Pinkie’s smile, and he was quick to reassure her. “Do not worry, your Highness- Paperwork is my specialty, and I’ll be right there to help you out. I’ll deal with all the complicated mumbo-jumbo that would be over your head- Not that it’s above your level or anything I just know it’d be a bit much for you right off the bat, or rather I mean I think it would be-“
Pinkie laughed. “Awh, it’s alright Windy, you’re right after all. The first day on the job is always crazy and confusing! I should tell you sometime about my first day at Sugarcube Corner! It’s an unforgettable tale!” Pinkie seemed to wince slightly, a clearly embarrassed look flitting across her face as she giggled gently. “I certainly know Cup Cake hasn’t forgotten…”
Autumn returned her smile, letting himself breathe again. “Certainly, your Highness. So, your job will simply to be to go through the rest and give the appropriate forms your seal of approval. I’d deal it with myself, but it has to be a Royal Seal I’m afraid… And I’ll most likely have my hooves full with the rest anyway.”
“Okey Dokey Lokey! How hard can it be?”
You know, with my Pinkie Sense and all, I probably should have seen this coming. Pinkie gulped silently, as she looked up at the towering stacks of paper that were scattered across the office.
Autumn hadn’t been joking when he said that the back-log was getting to be an issue. Even divided between the two offices over-looking the vaults, there was enough forms to partially obscure several of the towering bookcases, and completely bury both desks. Autumn had already sorted through a good part of it, and had taken all the complex paperwork to work on himself, leaving her with the already completed files and request forms to sort through. He had even stopped and patiently explained how it worked, and he had held his patience, even when she rabbit-trailed no less than five-times in an hour. Yes, he had gotten exasperated at the end, and said that he would have rather had Twilight, but he had quickly apologized. They both knew that she was doing her best while Twilight struggled with all the back-log that DIDN’T have to do with the budget and Royal Treasury.
Looking at all of this however, even Pinkie had to admit she didn’t envy her friend.
A very small and quiet part of Pinkie muttered that this was hopelessly futile. The sombre her that found it difficult to always move forward with blind faith and joyful trust loudly stated that this was all going to go horribly, horribly wrong.
Don’t be silly! Pinkie scolded, Autumn’s helping, and… And I’ll figure this out! It can’t be too hard.
Figure it out, how, exactly? Pinkamena groused back. Let’s face it Bubbles, we have no idea what we’re doing. This has nothing what-so-ever to do with parties… Or “rock farming,” to quote, for that matter.
We had no idea what we were doing with Discord either! But that worked out alright! Pinkie countered, as she pulled down a small stack of papers off the nearest tower to flip through.
…That has got to be the worst example you could possibly use, you know that? He brainwashed us! You forgot what it was like to share laughs with others and have fun! Why you love to make ponies smile! And I forgot why I strive to make you smile and protect our friends. Let’s face it, that was not a good day, and definitely not a good example. Pinkamena snapped, her concern leaking out a little more than she intended it to.
Okay fair enough. But it all worked out! Twilight figured it all out and we worked together to give Discord the ole one-two of Harmony! Pinkie replied cheerily, as she flipped through a form requesting greater funds for Equestria’s schools.
That was fifty-percent Celestia because she bailed Twilight out of her delusion and you know it. Pinkamena muttered darkly. And Celestia… Okay even I don’t know what’s going on with her at the moment but unless a timely letter shows up to bail us all out again- We could be in serious trouble… The stamp’s by your ear Pinkie.
Oh so it is. Thanks. Pinkie chirped, picking the royal seal up to stamp her approval on the form before setting it aside in the completed pile. Well, even if we are in trouble, I want to try anyway. I know its going to be frustrating, and I know that it might be really hard, but I want to help! And… You’re right, we can’t do much. We’re not smart like Twilight, or strong like Rainbow or Applejack, or even really in-tune to things like Rarity is with fashion and nobles, or Fluttershy with animals… But that doesn’t mean I’m just going to give up! I’m going to give this my all, get it all done, and then go help my friends and make them smile!
Pinkamena was silent for a second as Pinkie frowned at a series of terms on a file that she couldn’t make heads or tails of. Pinkamena sighed slightly before summoning over a tome from a nearby shelf for reference, much to Pinkie’s relief.
I still say this is going to end horribly. But I suppose that’s normal for me. One of us has to be realistic.
Pinkie scrawled off the appropriate information on the form and dropped it in the complete file as she mauled over her other self’s words.
So… You’re going to help me? Pinkie asked slowly, a slow grin appearing on her face as she pulled out the next form.
Well duh. Of course I am. What a stupid question.
Pinkie giggled at her friend’s response, before frowning at the mention of a foreign country she never heard of. Where, and or what, is “Winthers?”
An Atlas seemed to pull itself from the shelves to float by her right ear in response. It flipped open, fluttering it’s pages in search of the aforementioned country. It settled on Page 16, and Pinkie quickly scanned the small paragraph that summarized the country’s trade agreements with Equestria. Oh! So that’s why they’re talking so much about kumquats in this! Okey Dokey Lokey- I got it now. See Pinkamena, we’ve so got this! Pinkie hummed happily as the book drifted off to allow her room to finish off the form and stamp it. Her tune lasted all of one second before faltering as she squinted at another word. What’s ah-cet-oh-met-a-fin?
Yup. I’m prayin’ for that letter. Pinkamena groaned as she hauled out a heavy dictionary from it’s spot on the bookshelves to land heavily beside them. And make sure you spell it right when you look it up or you’ll never find it. Phonetically only works with me you know… How are you butchering that thing that badly anyway?!
Words are the only thing I like butchering silly!
…What?
It’s not for you so don’t worry ‘bout it.
A long moment of silence hung in the back of Pinkie’s head, the only sound the flipping of the dictionary’s pages as she carefully spelled out the word. The dictionary slammed shut, it’s job complete, to slide off the desk in their magic’s soft glow, just as Pinkamena found her voice again.
…Pinkie…You are so random.
A long hour passed, and despite the task at hand being about as far out of the young Queen’s comfort range as it could sensibly get, Pinkie was making headway. The two had long fallen into a quiet rhythm that suited them, and against all odds, it was working. Books seemed to pull themselves from their place in the shelves surrounding her at Pinkamena’s beckon, and Pinkie determinedly used the information they held to plough through sheet after sheet before sending it off into the complete pile. Even with the strain of using unfamiliar magic, and the constant frustration the task posed, Pinkie was showing that even the hyper-active Party Pony could buckle down and set to something if it was for her friends.
That’s not to say it wasn’t starting to stress her out a good bit, however. There just seemed to be no end to it all. Even as Autumn came to carry out each stack of completed forms with an encouraging and sincere “Good job”, carefully sidestepping the many, many floating books as he did so- He always brought in another stack. And another… And another… Until it started to feel like the room was slowly filling up even further rather than gradually emptying out.
So perhaps Pinkamena’s earlier prediction of things going wrong was one of inevitability and not of pessimism as Pinkie had originally assumed.
It was all set off by such a little thing, that in hind-sight, it would be rather comical. You see, when Rainbow Dash had snapped, the chef who had the misfortune of asking her the fatal question had been ordered to “Go ask Pinkie Pie” about the menu, shortly before Rainbow herself had stormed off. Not knowing what else he was supposed to do, he ran off in search of the mare in question in compliance to what he had been told. Although he found Pinkie without too much difficulty, he was woefully unprepared for what he was about to find.
As he pulled open the door to the Royal Offices, his jaw nearly hit the ground at the scene before him. Almost the entire historical library was floating around the room with each book oddly encased in a slightly differently colored magic. Books floated by the ceiling in a dusty gray that glittered gently in the shadows cast by the afternoon, while others flitted and fluttered around the room like giant butterflies in a brilliant turquoise, and an occasionally one would even shoot across the room like a speeding hawk, swooping down low enough to stir up a wave of papers before disappearing out of sight. This, however, was a bit too much for the unfortunately green chef.
“Y-Y-Y-YOUR HIGHNESS!”
As if the chef’s undignified and deafening squawk had not been enough, his attempts to back-pedal hastily out of the room had knocked over a poorly balanced bookshelf- The resulting crash resonating at the exact time to almost perfectly punctuate his statement.
Between the shout and crash, Pinkie’s dualized concentration unsurprisingly shattered into a thousand tiny pieces, causing her already somewhat scrambled magic to start going off into two very different directions as the colors muddied into a deep sapphire-green. There was a single split-second that would have been picture perfect, a quick-to-vanish scene occurring a second after the domino was tipped, so to speak, where Pinkie was poised in the air after jumping a good inch, her mane seeming to warp under her shocked energy as everything froze around her, the separate colors surrounding every book shifting into the same strange colour.
At this scene’s end however, everything fell quite literally apart, as her stressed, and over-exerted, not to mention untrained, magic tried to pull in two separate directions according to two now very separate and unsynchronized minds, causing the books held within to be forcibly shredded under the strain of it all. Binders split apart, Bindings dissolved and the air was quickly choked with scattered paper as casings hit the floor like strange hail. And in the middle of it all sat Pinkie, a single binder hanging off her ear, left eye twitching gently under the frizzled mess of curly and oddly straight hair that left her dark tiara swinging crooked from an errant curl.
Autumn shared a concerned look with the chef from the doorway of his office before slowly making his way over to their frazzled Queen.
“Miss Pinkie? A-are you alright?” He asked gently, his concern growing as he took in her shaking shoulders and disarrayed appearance.
Although he got no response, his concern dissipated slightly as he realized she was actually laughing quite hard about it all.
Well, what else would be expected from the Element of Laughter, after all? Always seeing the best in things… He decided, letting out a long-held breath as relief washed over him…
Said relief lasted for but a second, however, before quickly turning cold as Autumn froze, his eyes widening at the sound of Pinkie’s increasingly loud laughter. She was laughing all right, but with each breath it was growing a little more hysterical, a little more hollow, and quite a bit more terrifying…
After all, being proven right was terrific fun, but it was also Pinkamena’s least favourite thing. And so she couldn’t help but laugh at it all.