//------------------------------// // Nightmare Night // Story: The Life and Times of Love and Harmony // by TheManWithTwoNames //------------------------------// As the rainbow stream of light faded away, Princess Celestia knew that it would be the longest night of her life. She began to cry when a dim glow from the night sky drew her attention to the pale moon—now stained with the image of her sister’s face. The change had come so quickly over Luna. In one moment, she had gone from the demure and kind Princess of the Night to a twisted and cruel mare of darkness. Determined to force Equestria the beauty of her night, even if it killed them, Nightmare Moon gave Celestia no choice. Donning the Elements of Harmony and calling upon the will of her subjects, the Princess of the Sun struck her sister down in a single blow. It was a pyrrhic victory. Celestia collapsed to her knees, feeling as defeated as her sister. The last of her family, her dearest sister, her companion for countless centuries had betrayed her. And in her final act of madness, she left a barb in her heart that could never be removed. What am I, chopped liver? I can orphan and dethrone her in an afternoon on her birthday, and that only earns me a silver medal? I think that the judges are biased. This is blatant nepotism! Anyway, Celestia was as lonely as a children’s cartoon enthusiast on Valentine’s Day, and not even the consoling embrace of her loyal pet was enough to take away the pain. And keeping in mind that said pet was the embodiment of peace and happiness, that says something about how stubborn Celestia was being about this whole thing. Some people just like to be miserable. Celestia began a long, lonely walk back to Canterlot, leaving Philomena alone in the Everfree Forest. Sharing her friend’s same pain and understanding her wishes, the phoenix allowed the princess to have her privacy. She would need her own private moment herself. With a flap of wings, Philomena had transported herself to the top of the highest tree in the forest. With watering eyes, she aimed her beak to the moon and rang out with a loud, mournful cry. “BROOOTHEEER!!!” I lied about the mournful part. It was more of a snarl, really. After several seconds the reply echoed in her mind, ringing with dubious warmth. ‘Yes, Dear Harmony?’ “Stop trying to kill everything!” Harmony screamed like an older sister catching her sibling sneaking around in her room. “I can’t believe you’re still doing this!” ‘I have no idea what you could possibly mean.’ Harmony folded her wings in front of her chest and tapped her foot impatiently. “I could see your influence on Luna dissolve away when the Elements of Harmony hit her.” Death remained quiet. "Well? Explain yourself!" ‘I just really thought that it would work this time.’ “You are just the-! Dght! Aungh! Hycht!” Harmony was barely able to stop her feathers from flaring and incinerating the tree she was perched on. That is, until Death helped her with a little push. ‘Come on, Sister, use your words like a big girl.’ “I hate you!!” Harmony screeched, turning the tree to ashes. She remained standing on thin air, too angry to even pretend gravity affected her. “I’m past the point of making excuses for you being so awful! I can’t even say, ‘Oh, well I dislike Death a little bit, but only on a personal level because I can see where he’s coming from and he has real reasons for being the way he is and I should love him as my brother despite his faults.’ I just honestly hate you! What is wrong with you?!” ‘Well, all of my plans are apparently terrible and my flesh body hurts when it pees, so there’s two things. Though the body thing is Life’s fault, so maybe it’s closer to one-and-a-half—’ Harmony gave a scream like a nightmare, thrashing about in the air and spewing jets of fire at random. Ponies who happened to witness the event believed they were fireworks in victory of Nightmare Moon’s destruction and gave a hearty cheer. Celestia, all alone in her weepy hollow, dully thought she should rise to slay this new, fiery demon. And not-so-sunny would have done just that, if she wasn’t just so darn sad about grounding her sister. Harmony’s tantrum gradually slowed as her embers cooled, only finally stopping when a numbing breeze traced up her spine. Death was silent. Either he was in awe of his sister’s destructive might, or he was distracted by the energy of a rather nasty ten-cart pileup in Manehatten. Who can really say? “Look at this, just look at this,” Harmony moped, lifting a barely-smoldering wing to her side. “I’m dying. You’re killing me, Brother. You’re literally killing me.” If he had shoulders, Death would have shrugged. ‘Am I supposed to feel bad about that?’ Harmony didn’t have the time to snap back before a new voice barged into her mind. ‘Do you have any idea what time it is?’ Love scolded. For some reason, the image of a pony with a mane full of hair curlers and a face covered with some green paste immediately comes to mind. ‘How is a princess supposed to sleep with this crazy psycho light show going on outside? I’m seeing rainbows and forest fires and all kinds of insanity.’ “Brother Love, Brother Death is overstepping his bounds again,” Harmony huffed. “Celestia is absolutely heartbroken! Because of Brother Death, Celestia had to trap Luna in the moon to save all life on Equestria!” ‘You can’t prove that some life wouldn’t have survived,’ Death grumbled. ‘Oh, Celestia sent Luna to the moon?’ Love inhaled through his teeth. ‘That is rough, Sister. That’s elephant-making-love-to-a-cat rough.’ ‘Can we all agree that this suffering is all Sister Harmony’s fault?’ Death asked. ‘It was her trinkets that sent bluehorse to the moon.’ ‘It was? Wow, Sis, how could you do that to a pony?’ “Don’t agree with him!” Harmony snapped. ‘On other hand,’ Love started, ‘this means that I can have her room now. Good thinking, Sis!’ “Don’t agree with me either!” ‘What do you want from me? Geez!’ Love sniffed. He decided not to dwell on his sister’s rudeness and cut off contact with his family. There would be time to come up with some way to get back at her later. For the moment, there were plans to be made. There was a new living space to be redecorated. It wasn’t like Cadence wasn’t getting any sleep tonight anyway, not with the lightshows and the family feuding and the very distracting wild sex romps. Leaving a pair of confused and insulted stallions alone in her bed, she trotted out of her chamber and across the palace. Flying would have been the fastest way to travel, but she needed time to brace herself for whatever tacky vulgarity would greet her on the other side of the loner princess’s doorway. She kicked down the door and immediately recoiled in fright. It was even worse than she feared. Everything was decorated in dark blues and blacks, with Victorian drapes and a children’s bed comforter with glow-in-the-dark stars. Luna’s kludge of personal belongings was an even greater disgrace. Instruments, playing cards, yo-yos, juggling sticks, puzzles, and paintings littered the walls and cabinets and floors. Sitting on a chair was an unopened home magic kit (which really strikes me as the oddest thing there when you think about it). But worst of all, there wasn’t a single vanity mirror in sight! It was horrific! Atrocious! The greatest crime against ponykind Luna had ever committed and her true nightmarish legacy. Did Luna really bring her one-night-stands back to this cesspool of lameness? Or did she have to drag them in kicking and screaming? Cadence was certain then that if Luna had nobody to warm her bed, then it was no wonder she went so coo-coo-banana-pants. Cadence was sure she would be doing a service to Luna’s memory, and more importantly to herself, by having everything in the room hauled away, shot, and buried in a shallow grave. She was proud of herself for her thoughtfulness. Harmony’s lectures on compassion really were sinking in. Meanwhile, back in the slightly-smoldering forest, everyone’s favorite phoenix was having a harder time turning the lemons life gave her into lemonade. So she decided to file a complaint. “Sister Life,” Harmony spoke authoritatively, “I am disappointed in you. I had expected you to be keeping a closer watch over Brother Death. You are meant to be our leader and uphold the balance between us all. But tonight you have, uh,” Harmony’s feathery forehead ruffled. “Failed us and... um...” ‘Um?’ Death jeered. ‘Don’t tell me you ran out of steam. I was enjoying that so much. Very riveting stuff.’ Harmony stared in surprise at the air where she imagined Life was floating. “I just was not expecting to talk for so long. It feels a little strange. Usually I get interrupted by Life before I can say a word.” The phoenix shifted her shoulders uncomfortably before trying again. “As I was saying, Sister Life, I put my faith in you to uphold your duties—” ‘Did anyone die?’ Life asked curtly. “Well, no, but he tried—” ‘Then I did my job and you’re welcome!’ Life snapped. ‘I don’t care! Look, I’m busy right now.’ For the first time in history, Death felt genuinely insulted by his sister. ‘And just what is more important than yelling at me?’ Life took a few moments to deliver a huffy answer. ‘I’ve got stuff, okay? Things.’ ‘What kinds of things, exactly? Harmony had the distinct feeling that she was about to be relegated to the backstage of yet another discussion. And once again, Life and Death proved their deep emotional bond with each other through their ability to ignore everything else in their determination to drive the other insane. ‘If you must know, a griffin alchemist is about to discover the secret to eternal life and I don’t want to miss it.’ ‘Well that sounds neat. And universally desirable. It sure would be a shame if that cliff his nest is built on crumbled into the ocean...’ ‘Don’t you dare!’ ‘Too late.’ Death laughed. ‘Look at him tumble. Ouch, grabbing that ledge was a bad idea. Life, you’re the expert, should his wings be bent like that?’ Harmony plugged her ears as the flood gates broke open and Life unleashed a verbal assault that could have stunned an army of Jewish mothers into silence. When the barrage had ended and the smoke had cleared, Death remained standing and looking satisfied to have regained his sister’s attention. Harmony was just glad to have regained some of her hearing. ‘That was colorful. And seeing someone else’s plan get foiled definitely helped lift my mood after what’s-her-name blew it,’ Death sighed. ‘Next time I’ll try it with the other princess. Or maybe a new one will crop up.’ “Brother Death!” Harmony cried, “Leave Celestia and Luna and my ponies out of your doomsday schemes!” ‘Why should I? You’re the only one who had a problem with this one.’ A new voice rattled into Harmony’s head. ‘I beg to differ.’ Harmony lit up like a firework. She never felt strongly one way or the other about her eldest brother Time. He always kept to himself mostly, preferring to observe an event play out and then spend the rest of eternity pondering on it. But if he was going to speak in her defense for once, then she would happily find some room in her cramped head to let him in. ‘Sorry for my delay,’ Time said. ‘We are discussing the matter of that alicorn royal who prorogued the journey of the celestial bodies, correct? Truly a shuddersome affair. Halting the passage of day and night.’ Time ticked. ‘It is almost as despicable as that unshaven unicorn from eons ago with his time traveling scheme. He undoubtedly learned the spell by studying those vexatious Zoni.’ Death rolled his eyes at his colorless older brother and grumbled, ‘Well, she’s in the moon now.’ ‘I do not believe so.’ Every ear perked at the comment. ‘The last I witnessed, a large white alicorn was escorting her to a bedroom in a palace. It was rather gauche. Completely decorated with mirrors and pinks and portraits of Brother Love. It was a stroke of serendipity that those five ponies and their unicorn friends discovered your tools, Sister Harmony.’ ‘Well that is wonderful. Now I get to look forward to my plan failing twice.’ Death moaned. Time was silent for a moment. ‘I do not understand.’ ‘You’re early!’ Death boomed. ‘You just told me something that hasn’t happened yet! Thanks for nothing, Brother! Now I have nothing to look forward to for... how early are you, exactly?’ ‘Er… One moment…’ Time hummed quietly to himself. ‘It would appear that my blunder has set me a millenium ahead. My sincerest apologies. I will be on my way, and I strongly advise you all to lose memory of what I have revealed.’ ‘Why? Could I somehow punch a hole in the universe to change the outcome? ‘Negative. But I will suffer a horrible headache each time it is brought up.’ ‘Interesting...’ Death said slowly. ‘But could your headache possibly drive you to accelerate every star in the sky cycle and trigger the heat death of the universe?’ Ordinarily, Harmony would just half-listen to the others as she waited until a turn to speak herself. But this was a first in history’s winding track, a development that not even Time would have foreseen. Harmony was concocting a plan. No, not a plan. A plan would include something simple and broad, like a goal of making peace reign forever or something thoughtless. This was not so plain. Sister Harmony, the cute and wimpy punching bag of our family and occasional bedwetter, had a bona fide scheme. It was a bit underhanded for her liking, but she was forced into it herself by an underhanded scheme. All she had to do was wait. Just wait. Waiting is so simple when you have all the freedom in the world, I imagine. But she would wait for the next thousand years to pass when Nightmare Moon would return from her prison. When the time came closer, she would take a page from Love’s book and ‘suggest’ Celestia take on a student, particularly a purple unicorn. A loyal student who would be at her side wherever the princess went. A student bred for destinies decided for her before her great-great-grandparents were ever born. No matter what revenge Nightmare Moon plots, it is already doomed to failure. Time has revealed her destiny. A purple unicorn would stop Luna with the aid of five others, doubtlessly a party of friends she had known all her life. Reacting to Death’s presence was likely what caused her Elements to banish Luna as far away as possible. But with the evil spirits’ essence expunged from her, the results are not so grim. All she needed was to be patient. And in a thousand years’ time, her plan would come to fruition! And at long last, peace and harmony would reign over Equestria!! Forever!!! Throwing back her head, Harmony screeched with a mad laugh that echoed all across Equestria only to stop at all in an instant. She blinked once or twice, unable to believe that noise just came out of her beak. “Is this how Death feels all the time?” I don’t mind saying that I am pleased about how this all played out. And not just because my two enemies are broken-hearted, lonely, and defeated, it’s because I learned that one day I will get to see Little Luna again. Because now I know that this prison can’t last forever...