//------------------------------//
// Joker and the Thief 
// Story: Quoth the Raven 
// by midworld1999 
//------------------------------//

	Can you see the Joker flying over, as she's standing in the field of clover? Watching out, every day. Wonder what would happen if he took her away.





I didn't have much time to dwell on peculiar events of the previous night the following morning. Right after breakfast (more possum), Lenore and I hit the streets, the oddly shaped case strapped under her wing. Once we found an open plaza, we stepped into an alley to form our plan.

"Alright Nevermore, this should be pretty simple. Me, I'm gonna play my guitar out there. Griffons're gonna gather 'round to listen. Some (not many, but there's always a few) will offer a bit of coin for my services. Most won't. Your job is to make sure that those less willing to give give anyway. I'm leaving how you do that up to you. We'll meet up here around three. That should give you plenty of time collect bank. Any questions?"

"Uh, yeah. What's a guitar?" I had never heard of one before.

"An instrument. Makes music." She opened her case to let me see. Now that I saw it, I recognized it. I'd seen them around, used by other jokers. I also realized that that was the sound I'd recognized in the song last night. The familiar instrument.

I tried not to let on my apprehension. "Oh, one of those."

"Be careful around it. It's the most valuable thing I own. Any more questions?" I shook my head. "Alright, I'll head out. You follow a couple minutes after the music starts."

I watched from the alleyway as she set her case in front of a wall for her to lean against and clicked it open, leaving it like that for the generous to toss coins into. She took out the guitar, battered and worn, and began to tune it. She plucked each of the strings to test the sound and, once she was satisfied, settled down to play.

She took a few notes to get her rhythm, but once she had it she never let go. The tune started out slowly, and after a few moments she added her voice into the mix. The familiar sound chilled my bones, and for the length of the entire song, I stood frozen.

"Hey Jude, don't make it bad.
Take a sad song and make it better.
Remember to let her into your heart,
Then you can start to make it better."

The song was almost exactly the same. I could tell a few elements were missing, some of the background sounds and such. Her voice was also different, not the harmonized group from last night. But otherwise she played it note for note, sang it word for word. I could tell it was the same sad song from the last night. I couldn't bring myself to move a muscle until the song had ended.

Once it did, I breathed a heavy sigh of relief. I'd have to ask where she knew the song from. Figure out what the hell as going on. But that could be investigated later. For now I needed to focus on the task at hand.

I had never pick pocketed directly off somegriffon before, although I was confident I could do it. It just hadn't been necessary before. I could get what I needed from stalls along the street, not having to encounter the higher stakes of stealing straight off somegriffon. I thought I could accomplish this with relative ease, but I'd need to apply more concentration to do it flawlessly. And I wanted to do it flawlessly. To impress Lenore. I gave myself the goal of not letting even Lenore, who'd be looking for me, catch me in the act.

I'd stayed in one place long enough. If I remained any longer, griffons would start noticing. I walked calmly out, acting as if it were perfectly normal for me to be there. I worked my way down the street, pretending to gaze down the lane, while really donating most of my attention to Lenore out of the corner of my eye. A crowd was begin to form around her. I took careful note of who had and hadn't contributed to the meager pile of coins in her case, all the while keeping myself moving.

Lenore, meanwhile, seemed completely engrossed in her music. She had started her next song, another one from the group the interluding voice from the previous night had referred to as "The Beatles" ("Happy ever after in the market place. Molly is the singer in a band."). Her talons strummed the guitar with practiced ease, flowing from note to note of the strings like a trickle of water in a calm creek. She smiled as she sang, and seemed content to play her songs in a blissful eternity of melody.

I turned my attention back to crowd, trying to pick out who might contribute the greatest profit. I spotted a middle aged griffoness dolled up in jewelry, not the cheap fakes either. Her face had slightly less makeup than a circus clown. She was at the edge of the group. First target.

I passed by in as casual a manner I could muster, slipped my claw under her wing like it was the most natural thing in the world to do, and removed a silk pouch jingling with coins. Jackpot. But there was no time to celebrate just then. I continued my easy stroll for another block, then ducked into an alley. I hid behind a pile of garbage, counting out the earnings of our first catch. There were fifteen 20 bit pieces, more money than I'd ever seen in my entire life. Three hundred bits! My eyes glowed. This was only the first hit of the day? I could barely believe I would have more by three o'clock!





Although my first victim had by far the most coin, by three I'd still collected a grand total of six hundred bits. Having so much money gave that whole first experience a vibe of unreality, like it was pleasant dream that would have end at some point. In way, that was true, but it wasn't destined to end today.

When I crept into the assigned alley at three, I was met with a livid Lenore. I put on my most unemotional face, all the while grinning internally. From the way she steamed, she had been too focused on her songs to see me. Perfect.

"Nevermore, where the  FUCK were you! I played for five hours straight, and didn't see head or tail of you the whole time! What the hell are you trying to pul"- I pulled out my bag of coins- "llllll... holy shit. Uhh, how much you got in there?" she asked sheepishly.

"Six hundred bits," I said, revealing my smug smile.

"What! Where in the hell did you get six hundred bits? You couldn't have gotten them from the griffons I was playing for, I didn't see you the whole...." She dwindled off as I continued to smile. "No, no... you didn't... holy shit..." she breathed, trying to put together how she hadn't seen me. After a few moments she caught herself, and within seconds she was composed. "Aherm, eh, nice job kid. You did pretty well for your first time. Now wipe that smug little grin off your face and let's get back."

She had tried not to let her amazement at my feat show through, but it was clear to little ole me that I had blown away her expectations. I had set the bar high, and I had no intentions of disappointing.







That night we shared the tiny cot of Lenore's shack again. I struggled to keep myself awake, refusing to let sleep's happy embrace take me. I wanted to confirm that what I had witnessed the previous night hadn't been some screwed up dream, or a bizarre fluke. I was starting to drift off when my insomnia paid off.

That song was playing again. "Hey Juuuude...". I turned to look at Lenore, and was greeted with what was essentially the same circumstances as before. Mouth gaping, song emitting, this seemed to be a regular nocturnal occurrence.

My restless mind picked up where it had left off last night. What to do about this? I reviewed my earlier options, and dismissed them as before. I had no idea how to proceed. As much as it pained me to consider the thought, the only reasonable option seemed to be to scurry off. This was too weird. My life before had been alrigh– tolerable, right?

My thinking was interrupted by the same voice as yesternight. "You're listening to WKIT-FM 100.3, late night radio brought to you by Radio Zone. Sorry folks, no Beatlemania tonight, just Judey, as usual. But fear not, we still play your favorite classics every night! Tonight we're start off by getting the Led out! When the Levee Breaks, folks!"

A steady rhythm began, different yet somehow holding a common... theme with the previous night.

"If it keeps on rainin', levee's goin' to break,
If it keeps on rainin', levee's goin' to break,
When The Levee Breaks I'll have no place to stay."

Perhaps it was the same genre of music. Despite the songs' fantastic origins, I felt compelled to listen a bit. After getting over the immediate shock of disembodied voices speaking through your new found guardian's gawking jaw, I took a moment to realize that the sound was almost hypnotic.

The sounds weren't terrifying, as I initially thought. They were strange, to be sure, but in their foreignness gained a hard to place attribute I found interesting. For now, I could tolerate them. In time, I would be hard pressed to sleep without them.





The next day, I was charged up for another chance to prove myself as a thief to Lenore. I wanted to see how long I could avoid her noticing me at work. She had other plans.

"Why can't we go again?" I whined, as we trekked to the outskirts of the city. "I'll get even more this time! We could have a feast or something!"

"Nevermore, we've got more than enough bank to keep us steady for a while. Besides, we'll be back on the circuit soon enough, and hopefully in Plateau City," she explained. "Which is why I brought you out here. Nice open space for gliding and such. You're a bit young, but we've got to get you flying. I can't carry you all the way to Plateau City, and we sure as hell ain't walking."

I perked up at this news. It might not be stealing, but I would still have the chance to prove myself worthy of her attention. If I was as good at flying as I was thieving, it would be a walk in the park.

She carefully explained how to get liftoff, maintain flight, and land, as well as demonstrating each a few times. I took mental note of everything with rapt interest. Finally, her lesson tapered off.

"That about covers the basics, at least as I was taught. Now before you start practicing, I've got to set some goals for you. Gives you extra motivation. With the work we're doing, you need two primary flight skills: stamina and stealth. First challenge is pretty simple. Stay in flight for six hours without rest, keeping up with me the whole time. If you get caught thieving, you need to be able to make your escape without getting winded. Next challenge's trickier. You got to sneak up on me without me noticing. I may not have shown it yesterday, but I didn't see you once while you were snagging that coin. Do that in the sky, and we'll be ready to get out of this shitty town."

"You're not gonna tell me how to do that stuff?"

"Eh, you seem like a smart kid. Figure it out. You can't always rely on me, you know. Anyways, I'll be close by." She gestured to a nearby tree. "I'll be under that tree, taking a nap. Once you're ready for the stamina test, come get me. I reckon that'll be in a few months."

"Months!? I can do better than that!"

"Heh, good luck." She smirked, walked over to her patch of shade, and slumped down.

I screwed my face up into a determined scowl. I would get my task done today! Yeah! That would show her!

I took my liftoff stance and prepared for take-off.





I returned to our shack twelve hours later. Lenore had come back a few hours ago, and was sitting by the fire out back. I slumped down at to the fire next to her, exhausted and covered with dirt and bruises from head to claw. I was too tired be embarrassed. Lenore took it in stride, without teasing me. She didn't even spare me a second glance. She'd known this would happen.

"So, how many times did you crash?"

"Ugh. Lost track after 500."

"Not as easy as it looks, is it?" She held out a possum shish-kabobbed on a stick. "Saved some for you. Figured you'd be hungry."

I grunted a quick thank you and began scarfing down my meal. Once I reduced the rodent to bones, I finally looked up and spoke through a mouthful of food. "How long did it take you to learn. To fly, I mean?"

She pondered the question a few moments. "Umm... I'd say... about five months, give or take a week or two."

I swallowed my food and sighed. "Jeez, that's like forever from now. I can't wait to get out of here." I'd had a lot of time to think while practicing flying, and I had come to a few conclusions. One of the biggest ones was that I hated this place. All it had for me was bad memories and bad vibes. Lenore was right: this was a shitty town.

Lenore passed me another skewered possum. "I'm right with you kid. This town blows. Besides, I got no friends here. In Plateau City, on the other hand, there's a whole nest of jokers and thieves. Know most of them pretty well. We'll be at home there. And trust me when I say none of them will judge you like the cum stains around here. Like I said, jokers can't be picky about their company."

I smiled. I had known her for all of two days, and she was already reading me like a book. I scooted closer to her and leaned on her. She stiffened at first, then let me rest on her. She stroked my head like she had the first night, when I'd cried. That made me want to start crying all over again. Not in confusion, but in relief. Thankfully, I managed to stop myself. I was home with her. I was safe with her. As far as I was concerned, everything was going to be fine from now on.





The next few weeks were busy, but left me content. Our schedule was sporadic, with days of flight practice, stealing, and just palling around interspersed randomly. A lot happened in those first few weeks.

After the initial week of repeated crashes, things began to get easier almost without me realizing it. Before crashing, I would hover a few seconds. Then I'd be hovering a few feet forward, before pulling off an awkward landing. By halfway through the third week, I had gotten exponentially better. I was flying for half an hour with no breaks, and was already attempting to make my flights less noisy.

Lenore was content with my progress. She seemed to have predicted my quick learning curve (despite her earlier sentiments), and once I was able to maintain flight began to teach me more, using the self proclaimed technique of "tough love". She seemed to have rebuked her philosophy of do it yourself learning as well. She pushed me to limits without mercy, but her method of "tough love" proved effective. By the end of each four hour training session, I was exhausted, but always happy. Happy because I knew I was making progress.

I always practiced my stealth on my own. If I was going to surprise Lenore, I didn't want her to see my improvement. Some nights I stayed out late, trying to sneak up on owls, because I knew that they had the best hearing of all birds. Over the weeks I got closer and closer before disturbing them.

Each night, when we returned to the shack from my endurance training, we would share a meal. She wasted no time in teaching me how to start up the fire and cook. We switched off kitchen duty every night at my request. No one could accuse me of not pulling my own weight. After dinner, Lenore would tell me old legends of ancient monsters, all the bravest warriors, and of kingdoms risen and fallen. She would begin each story the same way: "Once upon a bye, before you grandfather's grandfather was born..."

It wasn't long before I wanted to read stories of my own. Using some of my share of the money from our scams, I had Lenore buy me book of old tales using my share of the money, since I couldn't buy it myself. She was insistent that I buy the book and not steal it. She said that griffons with normal jobs needed to make a living too, and that we made enough just doing what we did without taking any more from them. Essentially, her point was why steal money if you're gonna steal everything else anyway. It didn't make much sense to me, but I did as she asked. It was the least I could do after she had done so much for me.

Reading proved a much less difficult challenge than flying. Once Lenore taught me the basic letters and their sounds, I pretty much got it. All the words and sounds just kind of clicked together, and before I knew it I was done with the book and hungry for more. By the time I reached my third book, Lenore suggested I buy a saddlebag to keep them in for when we would be travelling. Lenore was never as interested in books as I was, but encouraged my hobby nonetheless. By the time we left for Plateau City, I would have moved on to nonfiction. Magic interested me in particular, despite my inability to actually perform it.

Nights continued in the same pattern I described earlier. After about a week, I stopped being freaked out by it. In three weeks, I stopped wondering about it too, and just accepted it as a part of my life. Besides, the music was good. And the first song never changed. The rest of "the lineup" was different almost every night, but "Hey Jude" always came first. After how chaotic my life had been before, another constant was always welcome.

Throughout all the other activities keeping us busy, we still found time to do our jokering and thieving two or three times a week. We raked in at least 500 bits each session, and one time we even had a combined 900 bits. We were by no means short for cash. At one point, it occurred to me that with all this money, we could be staying at an inn or something. Lenore scoffed at the idea, saying that would be a great way to get found out. I think that was only part of it. She seemed to genuinely enjoy "roughing it", as she put it, living in her own place with her own rules. To an extent, I could see the appeal myself.





After two months of intense flight training, I decided to knock out two birds with one stone. Both challenges done in one day.

Lenore was flying on the outskirts of town. She didn't seem to have any particular errands in mind, she was just flying for the hell of it. And why not? It was a beautiful day in early summer, the sun was shining warmly down on the world, and nothing could possibly ruin her fligh–

Once I'd gotten close enough, I barreled into her, bringing us both crashing to the earth below. The second I hit her, she gave a shriek of surprise, which devolved into laughter once she realized what was going on. By the time we somersaulted down, we were both laughing like hyenas, gasping for breath. It took us a few minutes to finally get ourselves under some semblance of control.

"Well," said Lenore, wiping her eye, "that was nice. First test passed, with flying colors. Honestly, I thought you were going to pass the endurance test first. You've gotten pretty strong wings for shrimp."

"Yeah, thanks to your running me into the ground every day."

"Hmm, guess you're right. Once you pass that test, you owe me a thank you." Lenore hadn't helped me too much with the stealth lessons, but endurance was something she excelled in.

"That thank you will be coming sooner than you think. The second test was what I had in mind for the rest of the day," I said, already stretching in preparation. "I want to get this done so we can get out here. You game? Or still a little sore from my sneak attack!"

She grinned. "You think you're ready for that too? I'm not so sure. Remember, you got to keep up with me, not just glide around for six hours straight!"

Despite my small stature and wingspan, I had confidence that I could complete the challenge. "Hey, you're the one who said I had 'strong wings for a shrimp'. I can keep up easy."

"Prove it."

In response I leapt into the air, snapping my wings open and giving a few good pumps to get airborne. I glanced down and saw Lenore had just taken off as well. I grinned and flapped harder, trying to keep my lead. But even with my head start, Lenore was caught up within seconds.

"Nice try, but no," she said as she kept pace next to me. "Besides, this is about endurance, not pure speed. You'll wear yourself out going that fast. Ease up a bit, and just keep up. If you like, I can help you practice speed work later. Honestly, you need the help. That was awful."

"Fine, fine," I answered. "This test is gonna be easy anyway. I bet I could race the whole thing and still pass!"

"Sheesh, you've got a big head all of a sudden. Calm down Nevermore!"

I opened my mouth to retaliate, but then realized she was right. I mumbled a quick, "Sorry," with a burning face, she muttered an obligatory, "It's all right," and we flew in silence for the next hour.

After the hour of silence, we gradually began to talk again, and soon were joking around as if nothing had happened, my superiority complex safely kept under lock and key by my subconscious thanks to Lenore's comment.





We flew until the sun had set and the moon had traveled above the horizon. I was dripping with sweat and my movements were jerky. I barely stopped myself from simply colliding with the ground. As soon as I touched down, I did collapse, a pitiful smile of accomplishment on my face.

Lenore landed easily next to me, and ruffled my head. "Still think you could've raced that?"

I coughed out a wheezy laugh. "Pfft, yeah right."

She grinned. "Glad to see you've got that ego under control. Tell you what, head on back to the shack. I'll be back in a few with a surprise." She began walking toward the other side of town.

I let out a dramatic moan. "Alright. Oh, and by the way..." Lenore turned around. "Thanks!"

Lenore grinned. "You got that right!"

She continued her way as I dragged myself to my feet and forced myself to walk back to our shelter a mile or so away, stretching my wings and wincing as I went. At least my legs weren't tired. When I arrived, I wasted no time in lying down on the cot and waiting. I was almost asleep when Lenore made her appearance. She placed something behind her and turned around to face me, blocking whatever she had brought with her.

"Wake up Nevermore. Can't have you falling asleep yet!" she exclaimed.

"Why?"

"Are you familiar with the 'Coming of Age' traditions of griffons?" she asked.

"What does that have to do with anything?" I mumbled, my eyes closed.

"Well, there's a specific tradition we have for first extended flight. A little ceremony to be shared between teacher and student!"

"Can't it wait for tomorrow?"

"No. Now open your eyes. Once your done with the ritual, I promise you'll sleep like a hatchling. Hell, you're barely older than a hatchling now." I opened my eyes reluctantly, and found her holding two small bottles of smelly brown liquid. I wrinkled my beak at the odor.

"Whisky? Isn't that for grownups?" I ventured. I'd only ever seen older griffons and ponies drinking it.

"Almost! First off, you're having graf, not whisky. Whisky's a bit strong for you, so that's for me. Secondly, this is how grown ups become grownups. I'll admit, usually griffons are older by their extended flight, but it is tradition. Now drink up!" She thrust one of the bottles into my claw and smiled at me expectantly.

I looked down at the beverage, sighed, and took a swig. Then I started gagging and rolled off the bed. I could hear Lenore laughing in the background. Once my episode was over, I dragged myself off the floor and onto the cot. "What the fuck was that for?" I gasped.

Lenore grinned. "Like I said, it's tradition. I remember when my brother made me do it. I had pretty much the exact same reaction. But really, it's harmless. Besides, you should have seen the look on your face!" I just glowered at her. Her smile faltered and she sighed. "Tell you what, I'll buy you any book you want with my share of the money the next time something catches your eye. Guess I should've remembered it wasn't all that funny when my brother did it to me, huh?"

I could see that she was really was sorry, and although I wasn't feeling very forgiving at the moment, I tried to perk up at her offer. For her sake. "I guess that'd be nice."

"Great. And if I were you, I'd wait 'til we're out of this shit heap of a town before getting that freebee. I heard they got lots of good books in Plateau City, and we'll be heading there in a few days."

I groaned. "Why not tomorrow?"

"You really think you'll be ready to fly tomorrow," she deadpanned.

"Heh, suppose not."

"That's right kiddo. Sleep in as late as you want tomorrow morning. Trust me, you earned it. Not to mention you'll need that rest for our trip. You can trust me on that too."

I did trust her, and happily obliged at her offer.





It took me four days to recuperate from my extended flight. Although Lenore hadn't shown it the first night, she'd been pretty swamped, and required two days to get her strength back. She promised that on the actual trip, we'd be flying in three to four hour intervals. Enough to tire us out, but not enough to put us out of commission for days. After my six hour flight test, this news came as a relief.

We traveled light. I had Lenore sell all the books I was done with back to the store, and put the half read magic texts in my newly purchased saddlebag. Lenore brought her guitar, kept in its case for the trip.

She was also insistent that we didn't bring food, because she wanted to teach me how to hunt. She wanted to make me as self sufficient as possible. When I asked why, she explained that she and her brother had once been caught thieving, and had to camp in the wilderness for a few weeks. Neither of them had been trained to hunt, and had to learn from experience. Not a pleasant time. A very hungry time. She didn't want that to happen to me.

It took us just over a week to reach Plateau City. Living outside the city was a disconcerting experience for one who had never left it. Everything was different as we made our journey east. The landscape was natural and flowing, and full of trees. The world was quiet, except for the chirping of birds, the occasional slursh of a creek or whoosh of wind, and the faint rustlings of animals below. The air tasted and smelled fresh, especially to somegriffon who had only ever breathed city air.

Hunting came easily after after my nights of trying to sneak up on owls. Mostly it was a matter a patience, waiting for the prey to get into just the right position. Because of my thieving experience, this didn't prove much of a challenge either. I was able to catch possum, rabbit, raccoon, and the like without much trouble.

I didn't mind the hunting in the least. It provided a mental as well as physical break from the long hours spent exclusively in the air. Catching my own food also provided a sense of satisfaction that couldn't be replicated, as well as provided an opportunity for me to take my mind off the world. Being able to just focus on the task at hoof without outside distraction left me feeling refreshed afterward. After such an exciting few months, that was just what I needed. A short period of rest, free from the problems of the place we'd left.

Each night followed a casual routine, consisting of dinner, storytelling, reading, and eventually sleeping. The nightly songs continued, which was a relief for me. Having another consistency made the transition from city to wilderness then back to city much more bearable. Lenore ,of course, was the other consistency, for which I was infinitely thankful. I thought she would never leave me.

Once we reached Plateau City, my life would change, mostly for the better. Of course, that only made the fall all the more painful.