Breakfast proceeded surprisingly well after their party recruitment shenanigans. With two ponies to feed, Spike decided hay waffles were the order of the day. Of course, Day didn't partake of the fluffy goodness. He felt vague disappointment that he wouldn't ever eat again. As an experiment, he'd tried a waffle - unfortunately it was like sucking on sand. It was tasteless and dry - even with syrup. He supposed it was convenient that he didn’t need to take the time, but he was still waiting for breakfast to end regardless. If he had to wait for others to eat, he should at least be able to enjoy a breakfast with them.
While he waited, Day contemplated how exactly he’d break the news to Luna that he’d essentially wrecked all her plans by inviting Pinkie Pie and Twilight and Spike along. He was fairly sure that she hadn’t expected to be accompanied by anyone but him. She would probably punch him. In the teeth.
“How do you all think I should tell Luna about this?” He asked the group who was just finishing their food and taking their plates to the kitchen sink. “She was pretty serious when she said that Twilight would wreck her plans, but I don’t think she even thought I’d add so many more people.”
Twilight started washing the dishes in the sink with her magic and stood against the counter while Spike and Pinkie were in the other room. She looked thoughtful for a moment before speaking.
“Well, just tell her the truth. I forced your hand and I was about to melt you into a pool of glowing metal. I was completely overwrought because I was eavesdropping and heard something I shouldn’t have. That way, she understands that this was all unavoidable.”
Day looked at her skeptically, “And inviting everyone else along?”
She shrugged and dried off three plates simultaneously, “I have no idea how you’ll explain that. I’m sure you’ll think of something clever.”
Day snorted, “Well that was surprisingly helpful.”
He decided to change the subject to something Twilight might actually be able to help him with, “I have a semi-important few questions for you. Why do you have tattoos on your butts? And how are wings sexual objects?”
Twilight’s reaction was highly amusing. Her eyes widened and the plates and rags froze in the air surrounded by her magical aura. She spluttered for a moment, completely unprepared for the abrupt subject change. Day considered it fair play when she didn’t have any really useful advice for him.
“You... what... why do you know that wings are sexual objects?” Twilight stammered. Day looked away suddenly regretting bringing up this specific topic.
“Well... I kind of... played with Luna’s wings while she was sleeping.” Day replied.
Twilight’s shock must have ruined her magical control because her horn’s light flickered and went out. The aura surrounding the plates followed a moment later and the plates and rags fell to the floor with a loud clatter.
“You WHAT?” Twilight exclaimed.
Pinkie and Spike entered the kitchen, drawn by her shout. They watched Day with interest. It wasn’t hard to figure out he had done something. Again.
He ignored Twilight’s outburst and turned to Pinkie and Spike, “Hey you two. Twilight was just going to explain why ponies have tattoos on their butts.”
“No! No-no-no! You do NOT get to just get out of this! You molested Princess Luna!” Twilight exclaimed from behind him. Before anyone could react, they heard the sound of the front door opening. Day looked up at the ceiling and mouthed thank you.
~`~
Day had spoken way too soon. He wasn’t sure how things had gotten so out of hand so quickly but he blamed Twilight. Her outburst had been loud - loud enough to be heard outside. It just so happened that the visitor to the treehouse library had not been an adult but rather three impressionable fillies. Of course, the three small ponies wanted to know what molestation was and why Twilight was yelling about it.
It said something about the average Ponyvillian’s mindset that they didn’t spare Day’s appearance a second glance. Obviously, they were used to weird things or ponies (people) showing up in town. Day noticed that the three girls didn’t have their ass tattoos.
“So, he,” the orange pegasus looked at Day with an expression approaching awe, “touched Princess Luna’s wings? And he wasn’t sent to the moon?”
“Wait, that’s a thing? Being sent to the moon?” Day asked incredulously. He couldn’t believe that the moon could possibly be a good prison. Perhaps he was being naive, but he refused to believe that the ponies had some kind of death penalty. It didn’t fit with their generally cute and innocent demeanor.
“I mean, she chased me into the forest. And tried to fry me with plasma once...” Day trailed off and finished contemplatively, “No, Luna wouldn’t do something like that. She knows what it’s like.”
The sudden mood change was a bit difficult for the group to take and they looked at Day’s serious expression in surprise.
“What?” The pegasus asked. Surprisingly, or perhaps not, all things considered - Pinkie Pie answered.
“Don’t worry, Scootaloo, Day’s just being a Gloomy McGloomypants about Princess Luna being the Mare on the Moon.” Pinkie Pie chirped. Unoticed by the rest of the room, her eyes flicked to Day’s and she shook her head minutely. Day got the message.
He nudged Twilight beside him and motioned with his head toward the three fillies.
“So, what did you three need this morning?” Twilight asked them. Day couldn’t help but ask immediately afterward why they weren’t in school.
“Today’s a weekend!” The yellow filly exclaimed. She had an amusing look on her face that resembled panic.
“We need a few books, Ms. Sparkle. And Rarity wanted to see you... she said she wanted to talk about-” The unicorn filly made some kind of gesture with her hooves, “‘that strange blue creature that disappeared from Fluttershy’s cottage’.”
Day laughed, “I’m not strange! I’m... uh... different.” The entire room, even the fillies, gave him a dubious look. He couldn’t help but laugh that Pinkie was shaking her head with a look of disappointment on her face.
“Stop looking at me like that!”
~`~
Day wasn’t entirely sure why the entire group decided to go see Rarity at once, but he couldn’t exactly complain. The distance from the forest seemed to seriously curtail his link to it, to the point where he actually felt lonely. Not just the normal loneliness he’d felt before, but more like the traumatizing entirely horrible and inescapable loneliness of the void. It made him more than slightly uncomfortable - which was why he was actually enjoying the walk to the brightly colored and oddly shaped shop Rarity called home.
The town itself was about as normal as he could have expected. The shadowy silhouettes he’d observed the night before were brightly colored in the daylight. He shouldn’t have been surprised but like most things he’d seen, the houses, shops, and stalls were strangely reminiscent of home - or at least their general shape were. The detail work everything sported seemed like a blend of Candyland and a throwback to 15th century peasant villages. All the buildings had thatched roofs, they all had large detailed wood trimming around the edges of the houses, and each one was painted in impossibly bright colors yet matte colors. Like most things pony, everything was slightly lower to the ground than he was used to. He hadn’t spared it a thought before, but he definitely needed to be careful entering and exiting doors. If he had been human, his height would not have been at all a problem. Now... well, now he was at least seven feet tall.
He took comfort in the fact that the buildings seemed to be multi-floored. He briefly wondered why a race of quadrupeds would even want to complicate their lives with stairs (clearly easier to navigate as a biped) but he figured they had a good reason and resolved to ask another time. Along that vein, a pile of questions had started to appear in his mind; despite having been thrown into the whole situation blind he was still curious about the world around him. He decided to break into the idle conversation around him.
“So... no one explained to me why you all have ass tattoos.” None of the ponies reacted to his language. Apparently, human curses didn’t seem to follow him into this world. He filed another question away about pony curses that he’d ask later when there weren’t any impressionable youth around.
“What are ya’ talkin’ about? Nopony has donkey tattoos.” The yellow filly - Applebloom - Day remembered. Her and her friends’ names had come up in conversation while they were walking.
Day pointed to Twilight’s flank and the large pink star upon it, “I mean that thing.”
“That’s her cutie mark! It symbolizes her special talent.” Sweetie Belle explained. She shuffled around to show him her flank, “Nopony gets one until they know what their special talent is. Ms. Sparkle’s cutie mark means that her special talent is magic.”
All of a sudden a confused expression plastered itself across her face, “Wait... Ms. Sparkle... what exactly does that even mean? Is it a special kind of magic? Or all magic?”
Twilight tripped and stumbled for a moment and replied haltingly, “N-n-no nothing... like that... “ She looked away uncomfortably. By this point they were close to Rarity’s Boutique and Twilight was saved from having to explain.
Day wasn’t exactly sure what he was looking at. The building looked like a tall carousel - the kind of cheap looking ones you find in malls. It looked ridiculous. He barely controlled his laughter and interrupted Twilight’s non-answers.
“What...,” he snorted, “is that? Rarity works here? It looks like crap.”
Twilight sent him a grateful look.
“Yeah, I think the same thing when Sweetie Belle invites me over.” Scootaloo said. Day raised an eyebrow and she spoke before he could, “Not sure what ‘crap’ is but I can tell when somepony is trying to keep from laughing. Mom is like that all the time.”
“Oh good, so its not just me.” Day replied.
Sweetie Belle looked like she wasn’t sure to be insulted or not.
“Wait... you live here? Is Rarity your sister?” Day asked her.
“Yeah, and she’s going to yell at me now that I brought you here. She hates when anypony laughs at the shop. It came this way! She had to name the shop after it.”
“Why would she yell at you?” Day asked in confusion.
Sweetie Belle looked away but didn’t have anytime to reply before Rarity appeared in the doorway of the shop and called out to them. Clearly, Day was the first being she saw because her face immediately morphed to something approaching disdain. He supposed it was to be expected. He hadn’t exactly been talkative when she was visiting Fluttershy. Mostly he’d stayed silent and tried to avoid looking at her.
“Sweetie Belle! When I asked you to find Twilight for me I didn’t mean for you to bring everypony along too!” She chastised while she approached the group.
Sweetie Belle looked away contritely. Unfortunately for her, she turned just so that Day couldn’t help but see an angry scowl on her face. He filed away the anomaly for later.
“It’s not her fault Rarity. Everypony just happened to be at the library when she and her friends gave us your message. I’m sorry if bringing everypony is a problem.” Twilight said. She gestured to the group, “Pinkie was sleeping over and, well, Day came back last night. And we need to talk.”
Rarity thought for a moment and nodded, “I suppose, that is acceptable. I guess we don’t need to spare much thought to him now that he’s returned.”
She turned and started walking back to the boutique, “Come in, we can sit in the studio and talk. Girls, Spike, why don’t you go out and play for a while?”
Day interrupted, “Actually, they need to be part of this too. Well... Spike does anyway. If you three would like to go that’s fine.” He smiled down at the fillies.
Pinkie Pie shook her head, “No... they need to be here too.”
Day blinked, “What? Hell no.”
Pinkie Pie looked up at him with the most adorable puppy eyes he’d ever seen. He lip slightly quivered.
“Oh come on! That’s not fair! Why do they need to be here, then?”
“Readership poll.” She replied in a solemn voice that utterly contrasted with the cute look she was using to bend him to her will.
It was at that moment that a rainbow colored streak slammed into his head from above.
~`~
“Fun fact, running into solid steel at speeds over 100 kilometers per hour is a sure way to commit suicide. How the hell are you even alive?” Day asked Rainbow Dash incredulously.
The group was scattered around Rarity’s studio while they waited for her to return with tea. The last few minutes had been extremely hectic. Rainbow Dash’s divebomb sneak attack was partially successful. He wasn’t exactly sure what she was really trying to accomplish, but she was at least able to knock him over. The sheer amount of torque that the collision had generated had been stunning. She’d knocked him off his feet and sent him skidding and tumbling for at least twenty feet where he came to rest in some rose bushes, further destroying his clothing.
Rarity had thrown a fit at the state of his dress when he managed to pull himself out. She momentarily overcame her dislike for him to offer her services as a seamstress only for Day to turn her down. He explained about his bag and walking stick that he left at Fluttershy’s cottage and what it contained. Momentarily appeased, the mare invited them in. Twilight had to carry Rainbow Dash inside with her magic - she’d been knocked out cold by the collision.
Day watched Dash slowly shake her head and wake up. He held off making anymore sarcastic comments.
“Pegasi magic helps them survive fatal collisions,” Twilight explained from a divan, “there are documented cases of pegasi crashing at speeds over 200 kilometers an hour with only a few broken bones.”
“Huh...” Rainbow Dash grunted, “Oh my head...”
She finally met Day’s eyes and groaned, “Oh what the buck! I didn’t even dent him?”
Day laughed, “Oi! Little filly ears are shattering!”
He pointed to the group of fillies sitting around a low table and asked Pinkie, “I’m assuming buck is the analogue to fuck?”
He wasn’t sure if she was the best to ask, but assuming she had knowledge she shouldn’t...
“Yeah, isn’t it weird how your world copies ours?” Pinkie question cheerfully.
“No. Yours copies ours.” Day replied firmly and immediately regretted it.
“I see, so your arbitrary distinction of “observer” automatically implies that you are not being observed? That there isn’t some television series called My Little Human: Violence is Commonplace? Isn’t that a little biased? You gotta open your eyes, maaaaaaan!”
She said the last bit in a slow drawl that reminded him of a hippy. Day just stared at her silently and tried not to go insane.
“What’s television?” Sweetie Belle asked. Her question saved Day’s sanity.
“See! See! You’re just trying to confuse me! There isn’t a TV show like that here!” Day exclaimed.
Pinkie just shook her head, “Silly filly, television hasn’t been invented yet.”
And there went his sanity again.
“What the buck are you two talking about?” Rainbow Dash asked with a hopelessly lost expression on her face.
Everyone was saved from having to continue when Rarity returned with a large tea set levitating at her side. She smiled at Rainbow Dash.
“It’s good to see you awake Rainbow Dash, but now that you’re here we can do something about that atrocious mess you’ve made of your mane.” She said. The tea set settled on the fillies’ table and nine tea cups were soon filled and given to everyone in the room.
Day leaned over and whispered in Pinkie’s ear, “So... is she always like that?”
“Mhmm, she’s the town fashionista. Oh, and gem master... and she’s the Element of Generosity.” Pinkie whispered back.
Day nodded and added another few question to his ever-growing list. That was the second time he’d heard the term “Element”. He could tell it was more than just the literal word - it had meaning that he didn’t quite understand yet.
Twilight cleared her throat, “Rarity, can we worry about that later? We have something kind of important to talk about right now.”
Both Rarity and Rainbow Dash looked at Twilight with slight surprise.
“What’s up Twilight?” Rainbow Dash asked seriously.
Twilight opened her mouth once but nothing came out. She looked down contemplatively for a moment before turning to Day, “Wait a moment... do they need to know?”
“Twilight! We can’t go on a super awesome mega-adventure through time, space, and forest without inviting Rainbow Dash and Rarity!” Pinkie yelled before Day could reply, “That would be like... having a box of cupcakes and not sharing!”
Day rubbed his eyes habitually before realizing he didn’t get tired anymore and dropped his hands, “Ugh... this isn’t a field trip...”
He tried to think while Pinkie repeatedly poked him in the side. It was obvious what outcome she wanted.
“Yeah, fine. Go ahead...” Day sighed in defeat. He could see where this was going. It was all laid out in front of him. She would explain about his arrival to Equestria and how he interpreted it. She’d tell them Luna’s reaction to everything and the subsequent destruction of the timeline to save Celestia’s life. She’d make an inspirational speech about how it was the right thing to do to help him and Luna and why it had to be done by them. Inevitably, Rarity would need to bring along Sweetie Belle - which would necessitate the two others fillies asking their families if they could go.
And so it was.
There were a few things that Day for sure knew at the end of the conversation. First, Luna was going to murder him. Second, ponies were insane.
After all of Twilight’s explanation and story telling, only one thing really stuck.
“You married Pinkie?”
“Congratulations! Rarity has joined your party! All characters gain a +10% accuracy aura!”
“Congratulations! Rainbow Dash joined your party! Aerial reconnaissance unlocked! All characters are 20% cooler!”
“Congratulations! Sweetie Belle has joined your party! All characters gain a +5% boost to experience gain! Kldvi Hfrg unlocked!”
“Congratulations! Scootaloo has joined your party! All characters gain a +5% bonus to stealth!”