//------------------------------// // Rule Of Cool // Story: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Magic // by Strayan Phoenix //------------------------------// CHAPTER 4 [Somewhere in Everfree Forest, early sunrise] “You know what they should do...” Zappo murmured as he munched on a mouthful of apple, “is make it so we get paid more than ten percent of the original wage when we do a job!” “What makes you say that?” asked Archie, stoking a campfire. “Because the other ninety percent ends up with the Guild, which doesn’t do fuck-all with the money anyway, so why can’t the payment be split fifty-fifty at least?” “Because it pays off our training, remember?” CJ mumbled sleepily from up a tree, loud enough for them to hear. “I think it was paid off long ago, dude,” Zappo replied, “Now, I think they’re just sponging off of us”. “Maybe it covers training for the rest of Team Valkyrie?” asked Archie. “Nah, we cover all that with anything we scrounge from the field,” Zappo hand-waved it off, “The thugs and the careless essentially cover any of your expenses for you”. “You mean... they just steal things off the ground that somebody potentially dropped?” CJ frowned. “Pretty much, yeah. That’s where about seventy percent of our income came from when we first started out, and it still does to this day. People are so careless these days, it’s not even funny”. “Unlike like this place,” Archie remarked, “I haven’t found anything of interest, such as gold or dropped items, since we’ve arrived here other than berries and apples. No treasure or anything, yet”. There was a brief moment of silence as they listened to the sounds of the forest around them. “It’s a very different place to our island, isn’t it?” Zappo mumbled, “A lot of the creatures here are very small and timid, and even the larger ones bugger off if you get too close. There’s nothing exciting to do here in particular, unless you’re genuinely interested in peace and quiet”. He sighed and stood up, then started walking off, “I’m gonna go walk-a-bout for a bit. You two can wait here, if you want. We might go into town later on and start mingling with the locals. I’m sure they have quite a few questions to ask”. “Goodie...” CJ mumbled as he lazily extended a vine down to grab a berry from his Wonder Bag, “Have fun with that...” “Let’s see what we find when we go this way then,” Zappo murmured as he made his way east. Traversing through the dense bushland, he stumbled upon a small stream. Using it as a guide, he started following it through the maze of trees, and came across a small cottage on a small island, connected be a stone bridge. “Probably someone’s little getaway,” He mused. He was about to walk off, when the door suddenly opened, and a pony stepped out. In a flash, he dashed out of sight behind a tree with Quick Attack. “... Don’t worry about me Angel, I won’t be gone for too long, okay?” a voice spoke up. It had a very soft and gentle tone to it. He listened carefully for the pony’s footsteps, tracking them as they slowly became louder as she paced up the path and towards his hiding spot. Soundlessly, he scrambled up the tree and amongst the branches. As she walked underneath, He managed to take a good look at her. She had a pale-yellow coat, with a bright pink mane and tail, the latter of which dragged on the ground behind her, it was that long. Figures, He thought, It’s always the shy loner who lives all the way out in the middle of nowhere... As he carefully shuffled across the branch, supporting himself on another branch behind him, it made a soft creaking noise under his weight. Fluttershy’s ear twitched, and she looked around. Up in the tree, she spotted the large orange mouse toting sunglasses and a backpack silently cursing himself. “Oh!” She was startled by the size of him, “Uh, h-hello there...” He silently forced a smile and a wave. “I d-don’t think I’ve seen one of you before,” Fluttershy stammered nervously, “W-Would you mind telling me your name?” “Zappo,” he replied. Fluttershy blinked, not anticipating fluent speech, “Y-You speak Equestrian?” He frowned, ‘Equestrian’ must be the language they speak here, which is interesting because it’s almost identical to Pokéspeak, with only a few small differences... He shrugged, “Yeah, let’s call it that”. “My name is Fluttershy. W-What exactly are you?” she asked. “I’m a Raichu,” answered Zappo simply. “I... I’ve never heard of those before... Are you a rare or endangered species?” “Not where I come from, no,” He replied, “I’m an explorer you see, and I’m here looking for treasure”. “Really?” Fluttershy blinked, “May I ask how you got here?” “I know people... who know people...” He answered cryptically. “Oh... well then, if you’ll please excuse me, I’d like to stay and chat, but I have something I really need to attend to...” She glanced apprehensively at the path behind her. “Nah, you’re ‘right,” Zappo shrugged. She nodded meekly, turned around and briskly trotted off. Once she was gone, Zappo clambered back down the tree, angrily mouthing a few choice words at the noisy branch. “Right then, what are the odds that this path leads into town,” He murmured aloud as he looked about at the scenery and walked off in the opposite direction to Fluttershy, “Let’s find out then...” [Ponyville] “Hoof-biting action overload!” Pinkie Pie squealed ecstatically, as Twilight sat on a bench nearby contently reading a book, “She was like a stunt-superstar, flying higher and higher, and then Rainbow Dash swooped down and swoosh! And right before she hit the ground, shoom! She pulled up! Vrrrmmm!!” “Uh-huh,” Twilight feigned interest, not even looking up. “And then she looped around and like, whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo!” “Uh-huh,” Twilight nodded, flipping the page. Rainbow Dash herself flew overhead with a loud whoosh. Pinkie Pie started running after her, trying to get her attention. “Phew,” Twilight sighed, “... I wonder when those travellers, or whatever they are, are going to arrive... I should probably start getting ready for that”. She hopped off the bench, levitated her book into a bag on her back and walked off. Zappo stood at the edge of Everfree forest, staring at the town of Ponyville off in the distance. With a deep breath, he started making his way towards it. Within a few minutes, he was at the town entrance. A loud crack of thunder rang out, echoing from the other side of town. “That’s odd,” he looked around, “How can there be thunder if there isn’t even a cloud in the sky?” He shook his head, “Ah, whatever”. “Huh, so this is Ponyville, huh?” He scratched the back of his head as he looked about, “Funny lookin’ style of architecture, eh? I should probably see if Twilight Sparkle’s about. We should probably organise a time to meet up...” He caught a glimpse of the library in the centre of town as he walked about, “Wow, whoever built that must’ve been having a lazy day! Didn’t even bother to cut the tree down, they must’ve been like, ‘Nah, fuck it, let’s build the house in the tree!’ Real creative there...” He noticed several ponies staring at him with strange expressions. “Heh,” He chuckled, “They must be thinking, ‘What the hell is that weird-lookin’ thing?’” He walked up behind a pony, “Excuse me, but do you know where I can find Twilight Sparkle?” The pony turned around, “She’s probably in the library as usual-” She stopped herself mid-sentence, blinking incredulously at the sight of the strange creature in front of her. “I’m sorry if I startled you, but I’m looking for Twilight,” He asked again. The pony gestured towards the library with a hoof without saying another word. “Thank you,” he nodded and walked off. He made several knocks on the door, and then simply walked in. He spotted Twilight cleaning up a table piled high with various writing equipment. “Twilight Sparkle, I presume?” He asked cautiously. Twilight turned around and blinked, “Oh, it’s you! I’m sorry, I can’t remember your name. What is it, again?” “Zappo,” He replied, as a second clap of thunder rang out from across the town. He frowned momentarily, then shrugged it off. “I’m glad you’ve arrived. I only just got home myself, so the place is a bit of a shambles,” Twilight spoke as she continued bustling about, “I was hoping to find a good time to meet up and find out something about you three. Uh, where are your friends, anyway? We were never properly introduced”. “They’re still in the forest, west of here,” He explained. “I see... Well, why don’t you quickly go fetch them while I get ready?” she asked as she assembled her workspace, “I’m sure that, between all three of you, you’d all have something interesting to share”. “That’s probably a good idea,” Zappo nodded as he headed back for the door, “I won’t be long”. As he closed the door behind him, he made one last glance around. Several ponies were still watching him closely. He ignored them and walked off. [...] “... and that was the last time we ever saw them,” was the first thing Zappo heard as he entered the proximity of the campsite. “Saw who again?” he asked. Both CJ and Archie turned their heads, “Zappo, you remember Team Skull, right?” “Oh, those ass-wipes,” He muttered, “Of course I do. I never got a chance for a rematch with that Skuntank prick...” “I was just telling Archie about our early adventures, and our encounters with them along our journeys,” said CJ. “What’s there to tell?” Zappo looked confused, “They were a bunch of douchebags that just gave us headaches and very nearly ruined our trip to save the world, not to mention the Guild Expedition. That was nearly a disaster and a half...” He shook his head, “But that’s not why I’m back. I was able to meet up with Twilight, and we’re going into Ponyville to fill her in on our story”. “What, right now?” asked Archie. “Yes, right now,” Zappo beckoned, “Pack this place up and we’ll get going. She’s expecting us”. The residents of Ponyville kept a large distance between themselves and the Pokémon as the latter made their way towards the Library. Several deliberately walked in the opposite direction as they approached. “Not ones to make a warm welcome, are they?” CJ remarked. “Meh,” Zappo shrugged, “They’re probably shy. Not worth making bad first impressions right off the bat”. He knocked on the door and stepped in, holding open as the other two entered behind him. Archie found it difficult squeezing his large frame through the comparatively small door, though. Twilight gulped as she gazed at her guests for several moments, before making the last adjustment to her set up. “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” she nodded in greeting, “As you know, my name is Twilight Sparkle, and this is the town of Ponyville. Let’s see if I can remember...” She glanced hesitantly between her guests, “Zappo... CJ... and Archie, right?” The respective Pokémon nodded in confirmation. She breathed a sigh of relief and continued, “I apologise if the other ponies seem a bit cold towards you, but they’re often like this initially when they meet someone new such as yourselves. Unfortunately, due to past experience, neither dragons nor snakes are particularly... charismatic, if you will, and it doesn’t help that you,” she pointed at CJ and Archie, “are easily several times bigger than anyone else around. So it’s kind of anticipated that they’d treat you with suspicion and hostility”. “That’s understandable,” CJ shrugged. “Now then, why don’t you tell me a bit about yourselves? What are you? Where do you come from?” “Well...” CJ took a deep breath, “I am what is called a ‘Serperior’”. “I’m called a ‘Charizard’,” said the Fire/Flying Type. “And I’m a Raichu,” the orange mouse finished. “We are classified as creatures called Pokémon,” said CJ, “We hail from an island far off to the east of here, beyond the horizon”. Twilight busily scribbled down notes on the scroll as he spoke. She blinked when she noticed her handwriting suddenly disappear. “What...” She looked around and then out the window. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were perched on a branch, giggling their heads off as they held up a small tin of Invisible Ink. Twilight sighed and shook her head in amusement as she re-dipped her quill in a different pot, and went about re-writing what was lost. Archie frowned, “Do they normally do stuff like that?” “Not usually. I wouldn’t worry about it though. They’re just having harmless fun. Now, where were we? Ah yes...” “As I was saying,” CJ continued, “there are currently at least eight hundred species of Pokémon so far, and we are divided into seventeen different categories, called ‘Types’, according to our genetic make-up and abilities”. “Oh? What sort of abilities are we talking about here? Like Magic, perhaps?” “No, I wouldn’t call it ‘magic’ per say,” Zappo stepped forward, “Here, I’ll give you an example. Do you have anything disposable that you don’t mind getting destroyed?” “... Where are you going with this?” Twilight asked sceptically. “Just trust me, I’ll show you something cool!” He beckoned. “Alright...” She levitated a scrunched up piece of paper towards him. He grabbed it out of mid-air and walked out on to the balcony, “Watch this”. “Now you see it...” He gave the paper a good toss, throwing it up into the air. He then unleashed a Thunderbolt, destroying it in a bright flash and startling Twilight, “... and now you don’t”. She was stunned, “That’s impressive! And you accomplished that without any magic at all?!” “Nope. That’s as real as you can get, really,” He shrugged. “Huh... that’s incredible,” Twilight murmured as she continued writing, “And what sorts of things can you two do?” “I can breathe fire,” replied Archie simply. He reached into the waste bin and pulled out an old newspaper. Holding it in front of him, he blew a small flame at it, setting it alight. It disappeared in a bright and brief flash. Twilight marvelled in awe, before jotting it down. “I can manipulate plant-based energy,” said CJ, “Whether to attack threats or whatnot”. “I see, and what sorts of types are there?” she asked, looking at her notes. CJ spoke slowly, “The types are Normal, Fire, Water, Electric, Grass, Ground, Ice, Rock, Bug, Flying, Fighting, Psychic, Dark, Ghost, Poison, Steel, Fairy, and Dragon”. “... and Dragon,” Twilight repeated as she wrote, “And what sort of purpose do they serve?” “Well, Types play a critical role in how we fight and battle each other. Normal types for example are just you average, run-of-the-mill Pokémon. There’s nothing particularly special about them. In a fight, they rely on strategy or outright strength to win, although they aren’t very useful against Rock or Steel Types. Their one and only weakness is Fighting, so if you hit them with a Fighting Type move, they take more damage than usual”. “Wait, let me get this straight,” Twilight turned around, “You fight amongst yourselves?! Is it a particularly violent place, where you come from?” “Well, compared to this place, yes,” Zappo nodded, “Fighting is just a way of life there. You get tough quickly or fall behind”. “Is the whole Type system like a tribal sort of thing?” “No, not like that at all. We all live and co-operate amongst each other quite fine. It’s just that you, quite frequently I might add, get the odd moron who’s too rowdy for its own good, and picks fights with everyone. It’s just how life is, but if you’re smart and tough, you shouldn’t have a problem”. Twilight frowned in concern, “... Okay then. What’s next? Would you mind telling me about the other types?” “Well, Fire Types are Pokémon which have biologies that are similar to magma,” explained Archie, “We have a very high natural body temperature, and generally live in hot areas like volcanoes, for example. Your typical Fire Type will usually emit flames from some part of their body, such as myself, for example, and we are very offensive-based fighters. We can strike quickly and hit hard, but we struggle to take significant amounts of damage ourselves”. “So based just on what I’ve written here, CJ must be a Grass Type, and Zappo is an Electric Type?” Twilight guessed. “You catch on quick,” Zappo smirked, “Fire moves are strong against Grass and Bug Types, but not against Water, Rock, Dragons or other Fire Types. There are many more, but we’d be here all day, and I’m sure we have other things to talk about”. “Yes. Can you tell me a bit more about where you come from?” asked Twilight. “Our island is located far off to the east of here,” replied CJ, “Pokémon generally live in peace, keeping to themselves, but there have been several phases of unrest and anarchy throughout our history, particularly when natural disasters are at their peak, or when there are supernatural forces at work. Pokémon often team up to help keep the situation in hand, and work together to resolve the problem, or at least keep it from spreading”. “Over time,” explained Zappo, “these teams became divided into two distinct groups: Rescue Teams and Exploration Teams. Both titles are pretty self-explanatory. Rescue Teams specialise in assisting others and, well... rescuing people. Exploration Teams go out searching and exploring new and unknown places, looking for treasure. To be honest though, the terms ‘Rescue’ and ‘Exploration’ are becoming somewhat interchangeable these days...” “So, you would be classified as an Exploration Team?” asked Twilight. “Correct,” answered CJ, “Each team has a unique name to identify themselves by. We are called Team Valkyrie, for example. No thanks to Zappo though, we gained a reputation as ruthless bounty-hunters, that could defeat otherwise insurmountable odds to achieve our tasks”. “What sort of... tasks are we talking about here?” Twilight frowned. “Taking down criminals and handing them over to law enforcement,” answered Archie, “At least that was HIS favourite past-time”. “I thought you worked as a team?” Twilight raised an eyebrow. “We DID,” CJ remarked, “But for some reason, he started working alone, and we ended up splitting ways for a period of time”. “I single-handedly became the law,” Zappo had an unsettling grin which made Twilight slightly nervous, “During those months, there was an abundance of rogues about, so I was able to hone my abilities to their fullest. Because I was taking out all the big, rough targets, they were left with the little guys that I left out, making their lives a bit easier”. “He quickly became renowned among Pokémon everywhere as a capable and efficient method of dealing with threats,” Archie spoke up, “and He was often sought after for his skill set, which was by no means unique, but he often got the job done and was always reliable to keep his word. That’s when I met him and he allowed me to join the team”. “Those were good times,” Zappo grinned. “Funnily enough,” Twilight frowned, “I somewhat believe that, even if it seems a little farfetched”. “Well, shortly before our journey here, we started working together again,” said CJ, “and our first mission back on the job was... interesting to say the least”. “Alright then...” Twilight quickly shuffled through everything she had written, “That’s quite an eye-opening tale you have there”. She placed her quill down, “What do you say to a tour around town? You know, if the others see you with me, they might start accepting you and might open up a bit towards you”. “Sounds good!” CJ smiled. “If you wait for me outside, I’ll be with you in a minute!” “No worries,” Zappo nodded, heading for the door. “Fancy that...” Twilight murmured as they walked out, “An entire order of creatures we’ve never even seen or heard of that potentially lives right on our own doorstep! Wait until Princess Celestia hears about this...” She turned as the door opened again, watching as Spike trundled back in from his errands. “So, did you pick up those scrolls I ordered?” she asked. “*hic* Um,” he grinned sheepishly, “there was a bit of an in-*hic*-incident you see...” [...] After about five minutes, Twilight stepped out of the Library, “Well then! Follow me, please!” Twilight led them through Ponyville, showing them the various places of interest and around town, such as Sugar Cube Square and the Town Hall. Several ponies came up to them with questions, and after a while, they were all hustled around the Fountain listening to various stories of their adventures. Late in the afternoon, Twilight then dragged them off to Sweet Apple Acres, to meet Applejack. “I’m sure you know who Applejack is, right?” She asked as they reached the entrance to the Orchards. “She was the one who saved the town from a stampede the other day, correct?” asked Archie. “And caused issues with her stubbornness?” added Zappo. “... Yes,” Twilight nodded with a frown, “How did you know about that?” “It’s a funny story actually,” he replied, “we’ve been to these orchards before”. Twilight turned about with a glare, “What do you mean?” “We came across it by chance as we wandered around,” answered CJ, “We picked apples for her when she wasn’t looking”. “What?!” Twilight’s eyes widened, “She thinks she cleared all that half of the orchard on her own!” “In reality, she picked about seventy-five percent of it,” said Zappo, “She would’ve killed herself from exhaustion if we didn’t step in”. “I guess so... but that was still deceitful! She’ll be furious if she hears about that!” Twilight muttered. “If,” Zappo emphasized with a grin, “She doesn’t need to know. In the end, what was done was done, and she ended up better off because of it anyway. Speaking of the devil...” They turned and spotted Applejack walking towards them down the path. “Howdy Twilight! What brings you he-ahh! Goodness! What in tarnation are you?! I ain’t ever seen a critter like you before!” She blinked in surprise at the sight of Twilight’s new companions. “Applejack,” She said calmly, “I want you to meet Zappo, CJ and Archie. They’re travellers from a far-away land, and they’re here to stay with us for a while as they explore Equestria”. Team Valkyrie nodded and waved in greeting. Applejack tilted her head as she studied them closely, before slowly breaking into a forced smile, “Well, alrighty then. I guess a friend o’ Twilight’s is a friend o’ mine! Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres! Come on, you fellas want somethin’ ta eat?” Zappo shrugged, “Sure, why not?” Applejack glanced around at Archie in concern, “Is your tail supposed to be on fire like that?” “Yes,” Archie sighed, “I swear, if I had a coin for every time someone pointed that out...” “Hey Big Mac!” Applejack turned and yelled, “Come ‘ere and get a load of this! We’ve got visitors!” The large red pony Zappo and CJ identified earlier appeared at the top of a hill, watching them in surprise as Applejack led them towards the homestead. “These here fellas are from a foreign land!” Applejack explained, “How cool is that?” Big Macintosh simply watched them with a curious gaze as they walked past. “It’s a pleasure to meet you!” CJ smiled. Big Mac just nodded without saying a word. Applejack led them inside, “We’ve got some real nice treats that y’all might enjoy!” She showed them an assortment of apple-based treats and meals. “We’ve got Apple Pie, Apple Fritter, Apple Cake, Apple Juice...” “I guess we’re spoilt for choice then, eh?” Zappo murmured under his breath as she continued listing everything. “Thank you very much,” CJ nodded as he grabbed a piece of Apple Strudel and swallowed it. The taste was very rich and sweet. “Mmm, not bad! That’s very good stuff!” He grinned. Zappo grabbed a freshly-poured glass of Apple Juice and took a sip. He blinked in surprise, “That’s quite nice, actually!” He then promptly sculled the rest in one go. Applejack smiled cheerfully, “I’m glad you like it! Made with one hundred percent home-grown apples! Fresh off the trees, in fact!” Archie noticed a crate of apples in the corner that were a multitude of bright colours and patterns. “Those are some funny-looking apples,” He remarked, “What sort are those?” “Oh yeah,” Applejack chuckled, “Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash went an’ coloured ‘em all in with water coloured-paint. They’re the ones that haven’t been washed off yet”. “... Fair enough”. “By the way, have you met them yet? Rainbow and Pinkie...?” asked Applejack, “No? You should introduce them, Twilight. Rainbow Dash is one of the coolest ponies I’ve met, and Pinkie really knows how to throw a party or two!” “I’m sure they’re wonderful people,” CJ nodded. “If you want, I can take you to see them now,” Twilight offered. Zappo chugged a second glass of apple juice, “How much is it to purchase a bottle or two of this stuff? This is awesome!” “You can have this one on the house!” Applejack smiled cheerfully, pushing the bottle towards him, “But any others will cost you a small price”. “Oh, cheers! What sort of currency do you use here?” “Just simple gold coins, called 'bits',” replied Applejack. “What about,” Zappo rummaged through his backpack and produced a bag of Poke coins, “These?” Applejack scooped a coin up on her hoof and examined it closely, comparing it with one of her own coins. They were almost identical in size, but the Poke-coin was marked with a large stylised 'P' on one side. The other side was completely blank. “Meh, they look similar enough at a glance. I suppose you could probably get away with passin’ them off as one o’ ours”. “I’ll have three more of them bottles then, please,” He dumped more coins in a satchel on the table. Everyone looked at him incredulously. “Alrighty then!” Applejack trotted off, “Three more it is!” “Here, give me a try of that!” CJ scooped up a glass with a vine and held it up to Zappo, who poured him a drink. He quickly drank it down, “Hmm, that’s not bad at all!” Applejack returned with the bottles in a saddlebag, placing them on the bench, “Here y’are! It’s a pleasure doin’ business with ya!” Zappo placed them in his backpack, “Likewise. Well, if everything is all said and done, we might as well continue on, eh? See what else is around”. They all waved goodbye and headed off up the path back towards town. Applejack followed them to see them off at the gate, where they stopped. “Twilight, is there anything else you wanted to show us around here?” asked CJ. “I think that’s it,” Twilight shrugged, “There’s not much else around for now, unless you want to meet Fluttershy or Rarity”. “Fluttershy is the one who lives in the cabin out in Everfree Forest, right?” asked Zappo. “Yes, how did you know?” “I met her as I was heading towards Ponyville this morning,” replied Zappo, “Pale yellow pony with wings and a pink mane, right?” “Yes, that’s right,” Twilight nodded, “Then that just leaves Rarity, Rainbow and Pinkie Pie that you haven’t met yet”. “Lead the way,” CJ beckoned. “The problem is, I don’t know where either Pinkie or Rainbow would be at this moment,” Twilight said sheepishly, “And taking into account the current time, we wouldn’t really get much of a good introduction to Rarity until tomorrow. Do you three have any place to stay the night, other than the forest?” “I’m sure they can sleep in the barn for the night,” Applejack offered. “That will work for now, I suppose,” Zappo shrugged. “Great!” Applejack smiled, “There’s enough hay in there to make each o’ yourselves a suitable bed. Although...” she glanced at Archie, “You may want to be real careful with that tail o’ yours, and keep it away from anythin’ flammable”. “That won’t be a problem,” Archie nodded confidently. “I guess that’s ‘problem solved’ then,” sighed Twilight, “I guess I’ll see you three tomorrow then”. She teleported away in a bright flash. Team Valkyrie all turned to Applejack. “So!” She smiled, “Let’s show you to yer new quarters then”. The barn had a fairly simple layout, with bales of hay carelessly strewn about everywhere. “I’m sorry it ain’t even a two star hotel, but...” Applejack smiled sheepishly. “Nah,” Zappo shook his head, “We’ve slept in worse places that make this look five star. We’ll be fine here for now, thank you”. “I’ll see you t’morrow then! G’night!” Applejack nodded as she closed the door. The latch locked into place with a clack, shrouding the room in darkness, only illuminated by Archie’s tail. [The next morning] Twilight decided to get up a little earlier this morning. She figured she could get all the day’s work done by lunch and then spend the rest of the day learning about the foreigners, following them about and studying their behavioural habits and quirks. Spike, who was also dragged up at this unholy hour of the morning, just groaned and muttered something indecipherable under his breath and followed along. “I’ve already finalised my letter to Princess Celestia regarding the Pokémon,” said Twilight, “Now we just have to send it off. So, if you’ll do the honours, please?” She handed him a rolled-up scroll, wrapped with string to hold it together. Spike nodded groggily and gave it a puff. A green flame enveloped the scroll, and it was gone in a brief flash. “Done,” he yawned. “Excellent. Now, where did I put that book on biology...?” Twilight rummaged through the bookcase, throwing books everywhere left, right and centre. Spike sagged as he looked at the mess piling up, “I’m gonna have to clean that up later, aren’t I?” [...] Applejack stared in a mix of surprise and shock at the thing Zappo held in front of her. In his paw, he held a small, incapacitated mouse by the tail, dangling in the air, “May I ask as to what the heck this is?” Applejack stared incredulously, “I-It’s just a mouse. We see them often around here. They’re real pests, gettin’ into our food supplies and making holes in everything. We’ve been tryin’ to catch them fer ages, but they’re real quick little critters. How did you do it?” Zappo smirked, “Ma’am, we’re professional hunters. Catching elusive criminals is our speciality. This little scamp had no chance”. “I thought you were explorers,” Applejack said with a frown. “We are,” he nodded, “It’s just that we catch criminals as well”. “...Huh. Well, since you seem to be so good at it, could you please do us a favour, catch the rest of ‘em?” Applejack asked sincerely, “Where there’s one, there’s always more, and they’re a real pain”. Zappo blinked, “What do you mean there’s more? We’ve already bagged at least a couple dozen of these things! I thought this was the last one.” Applejack did a double-take, “Really?! How did you clear them ALL in one night?” “I told you, we’re professionals,” Zappo replied casually, “It was easy”. “So... where are they now then? Where did you put them?” Applejack looked around. Archie emerged from the barn, picking his teeth with a straw of hay, “Hmm, needs salt, I think”. Applejack almost fainted in horror, “You didn’t EAT them, did you?!” “Eat what?” Archie blinked, oblivious to the topic of the conversation. “The mice! They’re filthy creatures. You don’t eat them, you’ll get sick!” Applejack was visibly turning pale. “Oh, you mean those little pests we found last night?” Archie asked, “No, they’re still in one piece. We threw them out the window. I can’t say they’re going to be walking properly for a while, though”. “Then... what did you say needed salt?” She asked hesitantly. Archie frowned, “Some of these berries we found in the country-side. They taste a bit bland”. Applejack sighed with relief, “Oh, is that all...” CJ slithered out into the open, “Thank you very much for giving us a place for the night ma’am. We appreciate that. Although, the original tenants weren’t too pleased with our arrival...” “You’re welcome,” Applejack smiled, “Don’t worry about them. They’re pests anyway”. Zappo threw the mouse off into the distance, “I guess we should get going then, eh team? I’m sure Twilight has some more questions worth asking”. “If you guys ever need something from me, just gimmie a holler!” Applejack turned cheerfully and walked off. Team Valkyrie headed in the opposite direction towards town. While the residents of Ponyville no longer blatantly avoided them, they still gave the Pokémon a wide berth as they walked through town. They spotted what they figured was Rainbow Dash meandering about in the sky above, conversing with another creature they couldn’t identify. Its head was covered in white, bird-like feathers, with patches of light-purple around the eyes, which were gold in colour, and had a hooked beak, like a Braviary’s. It had a furry body vaguely resembling a Luxray’s, except it was brown, had large wings on both sides and its forelegs looked like they belonged on a Combusken. It had a long tail, the same colour as its body, with a fluff of dark-brown fur at the end. “Now that’s something we haven’t seen yet,” Zappo remarked. “I wonder what it is...” CJ murmured, “Maybe Twilight might be able to tell us”. “Where do you think she’ll be?” asked Archie. “At this time of the morning, probably still at home,” Zappo guessed. They quickly dashed across to the Library and knocked on the door several times. After a few moments, the door was opened by Spike. “Oh, hey guys! What’s up?” he asked cheerfully. “We want to know what that is,” Zappo pointed in the general direction of Rainbow Dash and her companion. Spike glimpsed at them for several seconds, “Oh, that’s a griffon! We don’t usually see them around here. They all live out far away from here. I can’t remember exactly where, but Twilight would be able to tell you”. “A griffon, eh?” Zappo murmured, scratching his chin, “Funny-looking thing, isn’t it?” “They’re half-eagle, half-lion,” explained Spike, “And can fly like a Pegasus”. “A what?” CJ blinked. “A Pegasus,” Spike repeated, “The ponies that have wings, they’re called a Pegasus. I’m guessing you don’t know that much about ponies, do you?” “Erm, no,” Archie shook his head, “We haven’t been here all that long”. “Oh!” Twilight appeared in the doorway, “You’re here earlier than I expected. Please, come in! I’ll have everything ready in a few moments...” “Don’t worry too much,” CJ smiled, “We just wanted to know what a griffon was”. Twilight stared at them for several moments, “Oh, is that all? Well, if you ever want to meet up for another chat again, just let us know, okay?” “No worries, we’ll keep that in mind,” CJ nodded. Suddenly, there was an audible gasp of surprise from behind them. They turned about to see Pinkie Pie staring at them from several feet away. “Oh, that must be Pinkie Pie,” Archie murmured. Her pink colouration and outrageous mane-style easily distinguished her from the other ponies. There was also a picture of some balloons on her flank. “The eighties called, they want their hairstyle back,” Zappo muttered under his breath. “Pinkie Pie, what’s up?” asked Twilight. “Oh yeah! I need to talk with you! It’s about Rainbow Dash’s friend, Gilda...” [...] “... So Pinkie Pie, are you sure that this friend of Rainbow Dash is really so mean?” Twilight asked. “Um, yeah!” Pinkie replied exasperated, “She keeps stealing Rainbow Dash away, she pops my balloons, and she told me to buzz off! I’ve never met a griffon this mean! Well, actually, I’ve never met a griffon at all, but I bet if I had, she wouldn’t be as mean and grumpy as Gilda!” Twilight simply looked at her friend, “You know what I think, Pinkie Pie?” “Hmm?” Pinkie leaned in attentively. “Well, I think you’re jealous,” Twilight said flatly. “Jealous?!” Pinkie parroted in shock. “Green with envy,” Spike nodded, “Well, in your case, pink with envy...” “Yes, jealous,” Twilight nodded, “Listen Pinkie, I don’t want to upset you, but just because Rainbow Dash has another friend doesn’t make Gilda a grump. I mean... perhaps it’s you, Pinkie, who has to improve her attitude”. Pinkie couldn’t believe she was hearing this. “Improve MY attitude?! But I... D...B... It’s Gilda that... D... Are you seri... ARGH!” Pinkie stormed out the door in a huff. “Whadda ya reckon?” Zappo turned to CJ. CJ shrugged, “I’ve never met Gilda face to face, so I can’t really make an assessment”. A wicked grinned formed on Zappo’s face, “Then let’s introduce ourselves, shall we?” [...] As Pinkie Pie sat forlornly in a cafe, Team Valkyrie spread themselves out across the town, mingling with the locals while keeping a close eye on Gilda. “So, what are you doing there, Fluttershy?” asked CJ politely. “Oh, I’m just helping these ducks cross the street,” she replied softly, “See, the little ones get lost easily, especially on such a busy street as this, so we have to stay as a group if we move through town." “That’s fair enough,” He shrugged, “Need any help?” “Uh...” She gulped nervously, sizing him up, “I think I’ll be f-fine, thanks...” “Suit yourself,” he shrugged, and slithered off to do some window-shopping. Zappo sat himself down next to Pinkie Pie, contently drinking a bottle of apple juice from his backpack. “Oh!” Pinkie looked up in surprise, “Hi! I don’t believe we’ve met yet! My name's Pinkie Pie! Who are you?” “Name’s Zappo,” he replied, “I’m an explorer here on a mission to look for treasure in Equestria”. “Oh really?” She blinked, “Equestria is like, really really BIG. Won’t it take a really, really long time to explore?” “Time is the one thing we've got,” Zappo muttered. He spotted Gilda and Rainbow Dash fly overhead and land across the town square. “Look who it is...” He muttered, taking a sip from his drink. Rainbow Dash suddenly flew off, leaving Gilda alone in the street. She looked about and spotted a stall selling vegetables. A sly grin appeared on her face. She walked up to the stall and poked around with her tail. An elderly pony caught sight of the wriggling appendage and screamed, “Ahh! A rattler, a rattler!! Run for the hills! Everybody forsake yourselves!” The old pony slowly dragged herself away from the stall. “I don’t get it,” Zappo frowned, “What’s a ‘rattler’?” Gilda turned to the stall owner with a disgusted look on her face, “This stuff ain’t fresh, dude”. Pinkie sat in shock, “Aw, poor Granny Smith, she didn’t know it was a joke. How mean!” She stopped herself, “No, no, I can’t misjudge her. It was kind of a funny prank, I guess...” “That was a prank?” Zappo raised an eyebrow, “It wasn’t a very good one...” Gilda quickly wrapped her tail around a tomato, swiped it from the stall when no-one was looking and swallowed it whole. Pinkie Pie gasped, “I did misjudge her! She’s not only a meanie-pants, she’s also a thief!” She stopped herself again, “Nonononono, she might give it back. It’s just a joke...” “That wasn’t a joke,” Zappo muttered, “That was blatant thievery if I ever saw it”. Fluttershy suddenly walked past in front of them, guiding the ducks through town. She was walking backwards to keep eye contact with them, and thus couldn’t see very well behind her. Gilda smirked and walked off in the general direction of Fluttershy. Team Valkyrie all watched from their places around town as Gilda purposely bumped into her, startling her. “Hey!” Gilda shouted. Fluttershy turned about, “Oh! Please excuse me”. “Here we go,” Zappo watched in concern. “I’m walkin’ here!” Gilda growled angrily. “Oh, I’m sorry,” Fluttershy backed off in terror, “I-I-I was just trying to-” “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Gilda mocked, “Why don’t you just watch where you’re going, doofus?!” “B-b-b-but I... I...” Fluttershy stammered. Gilda took a deep breath in, and roared loudly in her face. The ducks all scattered as Fluttershy started sobbing and ran off. Pinkie Pie gasped, “She’s a grump, and a thief and a bully! The meanest kind of meanie-pants there is. I can take it, but no-one treats Fluttershy like that! NO ONE! This calls for extreme measures! Pinkie Pie style!” Zappo slammed his drink on the table, “Look after this for me and watch this”. Before Pinkie Pie could object, he was already gone. Gilda grunted, “Ugh, please. All these lame ponies are driving me buggy. I gotta bail”. “OI!” a voice roared from nearby. Gilda turned about in confusion to see a large... thing walking straight for her. “What the heck are you, an over-sized, mutant rat?” She sneered. “You must be pretty proud of yourself,” Zappo ignored her, “Managing to frighten off a wimp like that. Big achievement there, arsehole. We should give you a medal”. Her face contorted in confusion, “What?” “That little stunt you pulled just then,” Zappo pointed his paw at her, “What was that for?” “She was in my way,” Gilda snorted. “Pfft, bullshit, she was!” Zappo growled, “The entire town could see that you had the whole road to yourself and yet you deliberately walked right into her. At any rate, YOU were in HER way!” “Lame-os like her are a waste of space! SHE was in the way!” Gilda snarled. Everyone within a fifty metre radius was watching the spectacle unfolding now. “Don’t give me that crap, you better apologise to her! And by the way, are you going to pay for that apple you stole a few minutes ago?” Zappo tilted his head, “We all saw what you did there...” Gilda walked right up to him, showcasing the griffon’s height advantage, “Are you gonna make me?” “Damn straight I’m gonna make you,” he retorted lowly as electricity cackled loudly from his cheeks. Out of the corner of her eye, Gilda noticed movement, and turned to see the other members of Team Valkyrie circling behind her. Recognising a potential catastrophe if she picked a fight here, she wisely backed off, “Whatever. I’m getting out of here!” She took flight and sprinted off into the distance. “Where do you think you’re going?” Zappo muttered, launching a Thunderbolt. The lightning pulse hit its mark dead on, engulfing Gilda in electricity. She screamed in agony for several seconds as she plunged into the dirt below, landing with a thud. The other ponies all stepped back, murmuring in a mix of awe and new-found fear as the Raichu watched the griffon closely. Archie and CJ simply smirked, “Here we go”. “I will let this issue go without another word if you apologise to Fluttershy and pay for the fruit,” he said sternly, “I’m not going to ask you again”. “G-Go buck yourself!” Gilda snarled furiously as electricity criss-crossed her body. “Suit yourself,” Zappo shook his head. They all watched in anticipation as Zappo simply strolled up to the fallen griffon, who was struggling to get up. He clamped his left paw around her throat and hauled her up to meet his gaze. His right paw suddenly took a blue glow, radiating with some sort of powerful energy as he drew it back, muttered “Good night,” and slammed it into Gilda’s face with a resounding crack. The griffon slumped limply to the dirt. Gotta love Focus Punch, he thought to himself. He turned about to see a crowd of shock-stricken ponies. “That’s gonna sting like hell when she wakes up,” His demeanour suddenly turned cheerful, “I don’t think she’ll be such a prick in the near future any time soon”. The other members of Team Valkyrie spoke up, “All right people, break it up! Show’s over, there’s nothing to see. Move along...” The crowd chattered amongst itself as they all slowly dispersed. Zappo swiped his drink from the table, “See Pinkie? Morons like her are all talk. Never take them seriously. Ever”. Pinkie stared in relative silence with her mouth hanging open, “...How... did you do that thing... with the lightning...” He simply smirked as he took a sip from his drink. [Later that day] “Welcome, welcome, welcome!” Pinkie smiled cheerfully a pony walked in the door to a party Pinkie had thrown. Several ponies had already arrived, and were standing around talking with each other. Team Valkyrie perched themselves near the back of the room, watching the goings-on with interest. “Who’s this ‘Gilda’ I’ve heard nothing about?” Applejack asked in confusion. “I hear she’s an old friend of Rainbow Dash,” said Rarity, “A griffon. So rare”. Twilight turned to Fluttershy, “You’ve met Gilda, right? What’s she like?” Fluttershy turned away, “Oh... um... well, I’ll tell you later, Twilight”. She walked up to Pinkie Pie, who was greeting more guests. “Um, Pinkie Pie, about this party for Gilda. Umm... do you really think it’s a good idea? I mean-” “Don’t worry your pretty little head about mean old Gilda!” Pinkie smiled cheerfully, “Your aunty Pinkie Pie’s got it all taken care of”. “...I’m a year older than you,” Fluttershy said flatly. “Gilda!” Pinkie exclaimed happily as the griffon walked in the door, “I’m so honoured to throw you one of my signature Pinkie Pie parties, and I really, truly, sincerely hope you feel welcome here amongst all us pony folk!” She extended her hoof in greeting. Reluctantly, Gilda shook it. Suddenly, a fierce jolt ran up her spine, causing her to grunt. Pinkie Pie giggled madly, revealing a small device strapped to her hoof. “Oh, Pinkie Pie!” Rainbow Dash walked over with a chuckle, “The ol’ hoof-shake buzzer. You are a scream!” “Uh... good one Pinkie Pie...” Gilda forced a smile. She immediately noticed the Pokémon up the back, “What are they doing here?!” “Don’t worry about them! They’ve agreed to leave you alone so long as you do likewise,” Pinkie nodded. “I don’t get it, who are they?” Rainbow Dash frowned. “Eh... I’ll tell you later...” Gilda looked away. “Ah well. Come on G, I’ll introduce you to some of my other friends!” Rainbow trotted off. “Right behind you, Dash,” Gilda suddenly turned to Pinkie Pie, “I know what you’re up to!” “Great!” Pinkie Pie smiled. “I know what you’re planning!” Gilda growled lowly. Pinkie Pie giggled, “Well I hope so. This isn’t supposed to be a surprise party!” “I mean, I got my eye on you!” Gilda reiterated. “And I got my eye on you,” Pinkie replied before turning to face everyone in the room, “Everyone! I’d like you all to meet Gilda, a long-time, dear friend of Rainbow Dash! Let’s honour her and welcome her to Ponyville!” Everyone cheered loudly as Gilda forced another smile. “And our other special guests this evening are Team Valkyrie!” Pinkie Pie pointed in the direction of the Pokémon in question, “They’re from a land far away, here on a quest to explore Equestria and unlock her secrets!” There was a series of “oohs” and “ahhs” as the ponies split up between the two sets of guests. Pinkie Pie showed them to the snack table, “Please help yourselves!” Gilda eyed a bowl of yellow candy, “Vanilla Lemon Drops! Don’t mind if I do!” She snatched one from the bowl and ate it whole. Her face instantly distorted in shock, and spat a small column of fire about, screaming “HOT!!” “G, the punch!” Rainbow pointed towards a table serving drinks. Gilda swiped a glass from the table and sculled it down. Well, she would have, if there wasn’t a hole in her cup causing it all to dribble down in front of her. Several ponies cracked up laughing. “Well whadda ya know?” remarked Pinkie Pie, “Pepper in the vanilla lemon drops, and punch served in a dribble glass!” “Ha-ha!” Rainbow Dash laughed, “Priceless, priceless!” Gilda scrambled to grab a cup that didn’t have a hole in it, and quickly drank it down, “Yeah... hilarious!” “That’s not a bad little trick, that,” Zappo remarked, “Not bad at all”. “Hey G, look!” hollered Rainbow, pointing at a large stack of neatly wrapped parcels, “Presents!” Gilda had a large grin as she took one from the pile and tore the ribbon off. A dozen small, spring-loaded snakes instantly launched in all directions, startling her. The ponies all started laughing again. “Spittin’ snakes!” Applejack chuckled, “Somepony pulled that prank on me last month!” “Ha-ha...” Gilda grumbled, “I bet I know who that was!” “You do?” Pinkie Pie blinked innocently. “I’ve never seen that one before...” Archie murmured, “I wonder what else is rigged to go off around here?” Several minutes later, Pinkie rolled out a large cake with candles on top, “Cake time!” “Hey, can I blow out the candles?” asked Spike. “Why don’t we let Gilda blow out the candles, Spike?” gestured Twilight, “She IS a guest of honour, after all”. Gilda barged Spike out of the way, “Exactly!” She took a deep breath and blew. The candles flickered out, before igniting again. She tried again, and gave another hard puff. Again, the candles died, and re-lit themselves. The ponies started laughing as Gilda vainly tried to blow the candles out, with no success. “Re-igniting birthday candles!” chuckled Spike, “I love that prank! What a classic!” “Interesting...” CJ murmured, “I wonder how they work...” “I wonder who could’ve done that...” Pinkie Pie giggled. “Yeah, I wonder,” Gilda growled lowly. “Who cares?!” Spike started tunnelling through the cake and bursting out the top, “This cake is amazing!” “Spike...” Twilight shook her head. “What? It’s great! Try some!” He offered her a piece. Gilda clenched her teeth in fury. “G, you’re not upset about some silly candles, are you?” asked Rainbow. Gilda temporarily suppressed her anger, “No way Dash. Like I said, I’m down with a good prank”. “Come on then, let’s have some cake!” Rainbow beckoned. Gilda grabbed Pinkie and pulled her aside, “Hey, I’m watching you! Like a hawk!” “Why?” Pinkie asked innocently, “Can’t you watch me like a griffon?” “Hey y’all!” Applejack spoke up, pointing at a placard of a tail-less pony next to the door, “It’s ‘Pin-the-tail-on-the-pony’! Let’s play!” “Oh, my favourite game!” Rarity said gleefully, “Can I go first? Can I have the purple tail?” Gilda snatched up the tail before Rarity could however, “Well I am the guest of honour, so I should go first!” “*Ahem*,” Zappo cleared his throat, drawing their attention, “A guest of honour, you mean”. “Yeah, give the explorers a go! They’re guests too!” someone spoke up. Gilda grumbled and reluctantly offered the tail to Zappo, who stared at it cluelessly. “I don’t know how to play,” he looked up, “You go first and show us how it’s done”. “Then why would you... argh! Never mind!” Gilda stomped towards the placard. “Yeah! Gilda should definitely go first!” said Pinkie, “Let’s get you blindfolded!” Spike quickly wrapped a bandana around Gilda’s eyes, effectively blinding her. “Hey what- What are you doing?!” Pinkie Pie span the hapless griffon around in a circle, “We’re spinning you around and around, and then you can pin the tail on the pony!” She pulled Gilda to a halt and guided her to the placard, “Now just walk straight ahead and pin the tail!” “Now just walk straight ahead and pin the tail!” Gilda mocked angrily, “Hmph, yeah right! This is another prank, isn’t it?! I’m going this way!” Gilda walked in the opposite direction... and slipped on a piece of cake dropped on the floor. She screamed as she flew out the door with a crash. Gilda hauled herself up, and noticed that the tail had somehow ended up on her face. “Um, Gilda?” Pinkie spoke up, “You pinned the tail on the wrong end”. Several ponies laughed at this. Gilda suddenly snapped for good, roaring in fury, “This is your idea of a good time?! I’ve never met a lamer bunch of dweebs in my life! And Pinkie Pie, you! You are queen lame-o with your weak little party pranks! Did you really think you could make me lose my cool?! Well Dash and I have ten times as much cool as the rest of you put together! Come on Dash, we’re bailing on this pathetic scene!” “Oh, can you just shut up?!” Zappo yelled from the back of the room, startling everyone. There was an ominous silence as he stepped towards Gilda, “You have arguably the most distorted definition of cool out of anyone I’ve ever met! People who are cool are not just epic, but charismatic as well. Tell me, do you honestly have any friends?” Gilda blinked in stunned silence. “That’s what I thought! I’ve been watching you, and ever since I laid eyes on you, you’ve earned nothing but contempt from me, and that’s not something you want to be on the receiving end of. Whenever Rainbow Dash isn’t around, you’re nothing but a bully and a thug. So get lost!” Zappo growled, “Now”. “Why you..” Gilda seethed with rage, “Come on Dash! I said we’re leaving!” “You know what Gilda,” Rainbow muttered sternly, “I was the one who set all those ‘weak’ pranks at this party”. Gilda blinked in shock, “...What?!” “So I guess I’m Queen Lame-o”. “Come on Dash, you’re joshing me!” Gilda pleaded. “They weren’t all meant for you specifically,” Rainbow shook her head, “It was just dumb luck that you set them all off”. “I shoulda known!” Pinkie Pie remarked, “That dribble cup had ‘Rainbow Dash’ all over it!” “No way!” Gilda refused to believe it, “It was Pinkie Pie, or even that blasted rat! They set this party to trip me up, to make a fool of me! My jaw still hurts after that right hook...” “Hey, not only do I object to being called a ‘rat’,” Zappo scowled, “But I had NO hand in this shindig whatsoever!” “I threw this party to improve your attitude,” Pinkie Pie frowned, “I thought a good party might turn that frown upside-down”. “And you sure didn’t need any help making a fool of yourself!” Rainbow continued, “You know, this is not how I thought my old friends would treat my new friends. If being ‘cool’ is all you care about, maybe you should go find some new ‘cool’ friends someplace else!” Gilda’s rage flew off the handle, “Yeah?! Well, you...you...you are such a flip-flop! Cool one minute, and lame the next! When you decide not to be lame anymore, gimmie a call!!” She stormed outside and flew off. “Not cool,” Rainbow muttered. “What a buzz-kill,” Archie shook his head. “‘Flip-flop’? Was that seriously the best she could come up with?” Zappo frowned in disgust. “Wow,” Twilight murmured, “What was that all about..?” The ponies all started talking indistinctly amongst themselves. “Hey, I’m sorry everypony, for bringing Gilda here,” Rainbow apologised, “I didn’t know how rude she was. And Pinkie Pie, I’m sorry that she ruined the awesome party you put on for her”. “Hey, if you want to hang out with party-poopers, that’s your business,” Pinkie Pie smiled. “I’d rather hang out with you. No hard feelings?” “No hard feelings,” Pinkie shook her head. “Hey Pinkie,” Twilight grinned sheepishly, “Sorry I accused you of misjudging Gilda. Looks like I’m the one who misjudged you”. “It’s okay Twilight,” Pinkie grinned, “even you can’t be a super smart smarty smart-pants all the time! Come on everypony, there’s still a whole lotta party to finish!” They all cheered and partied on into the night as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. END CHAPTER 4