//------------------------------// // I'm sorry // Story: "I will make you proud..." // by chewyrainbow //------------------------------// I gaze openly at the walls. The steady beeping of the heart monitor to my right lulls my thoughts. All I see is my own failure. I ruined everything. And now I just stuck myself in a hospital, letting everyone pity me. Heh, I guess I failed. I couldn't even get this simple routine down. I can pull off a Sonic Rainboom, but I can't even win a free fall. Oh Celestia, what does everypony think of me?! I knocked my head back, slamming into the grey wall. "Why!" I clamped my eyes shut. I can already feel them tearing up. "Couldn't I have done something RIGHT?" I screamed as it burned the back of my throat. Knowing this about Spitfire's sister, who was somehow related to Rainbow Dash hadn't helped. I wish I didn't know that...why did I even ask? There was a low ringing in my ears, the back of my head throbbing. I could feel a warm liquid dripping down my neck. I don't even know anymore... Slowly I turned my head to look out the window. It was getting late. Clouds were gathering, "I totally forgot there was a storm planned for today." I said to myself, trying to get my mind off what was ahead. But even that was an impossible task. So much in one day to take in. Let alone what I had already failed at doing. So many more pegasi had a good chance at the contest...but I just HAD to win! And me doing that just ruined everypony. Now I'm stuck letting everyone feel bad for me. Well screw their pity...screw me... "I can't do anything right." The light patting of raindrops on the roof erupted. It was a single-floor hospital. I wished I was outside. Dancing, flying, jumping around in the rain. I dunno...Just anything different than sitting here, just WAITING for my death. What a wonderful was to pass. Just waiting, knowing it's going to happen soon, but not knowing when. How odd. My mind was scrambling thoughts. "I must be going insane!" I yelled, trying to get out of the bed. But I simply rolled onto the floor. A loud thud filled the room, my joints and sores aching. I swear that was a terrible idea... "WHY DON'T YOU JUST COME IN HERE AND KILL ME ALREADY! I DON'T WANNA WAIT!" I screamed, clenching my hooves together against my chest. Slowly, a tear began to drip down my cheek. "I'm sorry...so, so sorry, Rainbow Dash..." I whimpered. All my emotions felt like that had been thrown together in a mixer, and now were being blended around. I couldn't hang onto one thought long enough to keep it before my emotions changed- again. I waited. Hoping a nurse or doctor would come in. But did they? NOPE. "You know what? I DON'T NEED YOU. I DON'T NEED ANY OF YOU!" My voice rasped. I quietly whimpered again, tears streaming down my cheeks. Me lying on the floor...it made me think. Think about that night, a few weeks ago. When Dash fell. I was in her position...Maybe this was a sign, maybe I was supposed to win..."No..." I lightly said aloud. "Definitely not. If this was all meant to happen, Rainbow Dash wouldn't be dead. This is all my fault. I should have saved her. Or at least kept my promise!" My voice raised again, my head began to hurt. Everything was...blurry...I could hardly see. "I couldn't even keep my promise..." I'm sorry, Dash, I failed...I couldn't even make you proud... My hind hooves were beginning to get cold. I couldn't move them. What was happening? My stomach had began churning. Sickeningly twisting around giving me horrible cramps. My front hooves were hardly mobile. The blood flow on the back of my head hadn't stopped. Why hadn't anypony come in here yet? "I guess they think I'm a failure too." I opened my eyes to look up, back out the window. The storm had cleared...very quickly. All that was left was a huge, black night sky. Stars fluttered about in the dark abyss. Like fireflies trapped in a black web. I gave a weak smile as I looked up, and saw one small thing that gave me hope. One thing that tells me something I needed to have for reassurance in the very beginning. Something small, and simple, but just enough to give me hope. A shooting star. With a beautiful, gleaming trail behind it of six bright colours. That of a rainbow. I opened my mouth to speak one more time. My vision blurred again, and my head throbbing. I closed my eyes gently and spoke, feeling darkness wrap itself tightly in my head. "So...I really did make you proud?"