//------------------------------// // Chapter 10 // Story: Pride and Prejudice and Snails // by Mudpony //------------------------------// Diamond Tiara flipped through the pages of the magazine without paying much attention to the contents. She was not even really sure what magazine it was. When she had gotten to Silver Spoon's home, she had picked one at random. Her mind was on other things. "Sil? Do you think we were too harsh on Alula?" Diamond Tiara asked. Silver Spoon looked up from the magazine she was reading, a look of slight puzzlement on her face. "Of course not. She like totally stole my date, and now I stole hers. How does it get more fair than that?" "Yeah, that is totally fair, I guess," Diamond Tiara said. Silver Spoon's look was still puzzled. "What's gotten into you, Diamond? It's not like you to second guess yourself." "I guess I'm just remembering when we first met her. Goddess, she was tragic." "That mane! And the way she talked." Silver Spoon giggled at the memories. Diamond Tiara nodded and said, "And we felt so sorry for her we decided to make her our special project. Showed her who was worth knowing and who wasn't, what clothes to wear and when, and so on. We totally saved her from being a complete loser." "And then she, like, betrayed us," Silver Spoon said. "So not cool." "Yeah, but she is still our friend, right? Shouldn't we take it a little easier on her?" "Of course she is, and of course we shouldn't. Two weeks, Diamond. That's what we agreed on." Diamond Tiara raised her forehooves in surrender. "Okay, okay, you win. The full two weeks it is." "I'll be happy when it is over, actually. I miss shopping with Alula and Featherweight is no fun to hang around at all. About the only time he perks up is when talking about pictures, and then it is all lighting this and filter that. Booooring." Silver Spoon sighed. "Might just cut him loose early. I don't know how you've put up with the dweeb for so long." "Snails isn't a dweeb." At Silver Spoon's incredulous look, Diamond Tiara tried to explain. "Sure, he's about as bright as a moonless night and about as attractive as a sack of apples. And he's always playing in the mud, slime, or other gross stuff. And there's the fact that he comes from the poor side of town." Diamond Tiara stopped. "Okay, he's a dweeb. But he's my dweeb. He actually wants to spend time with me, so maybe that's why it isn't that bad." Silver Spoon took off her glasses, pointedly cleaned them, then put them back on and looked at Diamond Tiara. "Oh my goddess. Tell me you're not falling for him." "What? No way." Diamond Tiara shook her head hard enough that her tiara nearly flew off. "You are. You're like totally falling for him," Silver Spoon said, teasing her friend. "You know you can tell me anything, right? And I won't let it come between us. So if you're falling for him, just admit it." "As if. I'd sooner fall for—" It was at this point that she would usually say Snails, except she was dating Snails. "He was the one we put last on our list, huh?" Silver Spoon nodded, with a grin. "Ah, I got it! Apple Bloom. I'd sooner fall for Apple Bloom." Silver Spoon giggled. "I don't know. You two would look kind of cute together." Diamond Tiara pondered that. Snails at her side, but older, no longer sporting his lanky body. Nicely dressed, of course, in a crisp suit or uniform. He'd look goofy, almost handsome, but cute? And he would still be Snails. The uniform would definitely would not be an officers. "Us, cute?" she asked Silver Spoon. "Well, think about it. I mean, you both are totally into headgear." Diamond Tiara gave her a confused look. "Your tiara, her bow..." Silver Spoon explained. Right, she was not talking about Snails. Diamond Tiara laughed. "Not even if she were adopted by Blueblood himself and became the toast of Canterlot." An image came to her mind, of Apple Bloom at a party full of nobles. "Could you just imagine her at the Grand Galloping Gala? She'd probably show up in galoshes or something." "Oh my. That would be such a disaster." A gleam shone in Silver Spoon's eye. "We'll have to be sure to get her a ticket to one when we're grown up. It'd be so funny." "Do you suppose that's what happened two years ago?" Diamond Tiara asked. That gala, ruined by six undisclosed mares, was a major topic every gala since then, and no doubt would be for decades to come. Silver Spoon thought it over. "It'd certainly explain it. Wonder if it was one pony that invited them all, or if different ponies all had the same idea. All the work put into such a big event, ruined in the blink of an eye. So maybe we shouldn't arrange for her to get a ticket." "Speaking of big events, we need to finish planning," Diamond Tiara said, taking advantage of the opportunity to switch topics. "Why? The event planner should be taking care of everything. That's what we hired him for, after all," Silver Spoon said. "I'm still surprised he plans parties. I thought he was just a motivational speaker," Diamond Tiara said. "Apparently he does that when the weather is nice and warm, but during the winter, he runs a catering and event planning business," Silver Spoon explained. "Still a bit strange, but oh well. Can't expect a monster to be normal, I guess. Anyway... I'm talking about the important stuff." Diamond Tiara waited for Silver Spoon to catch on, but no luck. "We need to decide what we're going to wear." "Oh. I had a thought about that earlier. I'm thinking... tuxedos, top hats, and canes. Look at this." Silver Spoon held up the magazine she was reading. The page featured pictures from a fashion show in Manehatten, and one of them was of a model in a tuxedo, or rather, a fashion show version of one, spruced up beyond all reasonable levels. Diamond Tiara thought it over. Not her typical fashion choice, but it would work. Maybe something in blue. And they would really stand out as the only fillies in suits. They would need canes though, for sure. "That would be so cool," she said. "Let's do it." Snails opened the door of his home and looked outside with dismay. Rain poured down, almost in solid waves. If he stepped outside, he'd be drenched in seconds. Why did the weather team have to pick now to make it rain? Sure, the rain was supposed to have started earlier today, but it had not, which was probably why it was raining so hard now. They were making up for lost time. But still, he thought, they could have waited just a bit longer, since they were late already anyway. Ordinarily, the rain would not bother him. He would have happily raced around outside, jumping from puddle to puddle, seeing how big of a splash he could make, until he got tired. Then, when he returned home, one his parents would greet him at the door with a towel to wrap around him, followed by a nice cup of hot chocolate in front of fireplace. Today though, he was not going outside to play. He was going to Rarity's boutique to see if she could fix up the suit she had made him. The suit was packed in his saddlebags, and while that would protect them from ordinary rain, it would not from this. Luckily, that is why umbrellas existed. Well, that and to provide shade when it was too sunny, but that was a different type of umbrella, and one mostly used by fancy ponies, not regular ones. No, what he needed was his umbrella which should have been right next to the door. A quick search did not reveal it, though it did leave shoes, boots, coats, and scarves scattered around the hall. He sat down to think. Maybe he had left it at school? But if so, he would get soaked going there, so that was no good. Unless maybe he ran really fast? Like magically fast. There was just one problem with that. He did not know magic to run fast. He suddenly brightened, remembering what magic he did know: the magic Twilight Sparkle had been helping him with. A shield spell would keep the pack and the suit within nice and dry. He concentrated like Twilight Sparkle had taught him, feeling the magic gather, then unleashed it. A small, yellowish-green dome appeared over his pack. He waited, half expecting it to wink out of existence, but it did not. It was stable. He had done it. Now his pack would stay dry. Proudly, he gave himself a celebratory hoof pump and took a step forward. Or rather, he tried to take a step forward, as he was held in place by the pack, which was determined to stay right where it was. He looked back perplexed, before the realization hit him. He smacked himself on head for forgetting. Twilight Sparkle had told him repeatedly that shields had to be anchored to inanimate things, and the anchor held both the shield and object in place. So much for his bright idea. With a sigh, he dispelled the shield. "Mom? Where's my umbrella?" he shouted. "Is it by the door, where it should be?" came the reply. "No," Snails called back. His mom's head popped around the corner, by the living room. "Oh, well, did you check your room? Maybe you left it there when you came home from school." "Oh yeah." He really should have thought to check there first, before asking. "Thanks, mom." He raced to his room, looking at the piles of clothes and toys, looking for where he had dumped his stuff when he had returned from school. With a cry of joy, he spotted his umbrella and scooped it up. Umbrella in mouth, he headed back to the door, stopping just long enough to hug his mother before stepping out into the rain. Sweetie Belle looked up from her homework at the knock on the door of the guest room. "Who's there?" she asked. "It's me," came the reply and then, after a short pause, "uh, Snails". "Just a minute." She bounced up and quickly tidied up the room, mostly by stuffing items into the closet, before rushing back to the desk. She did her best to look nonchalant, as if she had not even gotten up. "Okay, come in." She glanced down at her desk and nearly gasped. She had forgotten to hide the picture she had been drawing of him walking away from a crying Diamond Tiara. "Like the room?" she asked. As he looked around at the guest room her sister kept, she quickly stuffed her drawing into a pile of other papers, then returned to trying to look normal, with a big smile on her face. "It's nice," he said. "Nicer than my room. Could use some posters of pirates and soldiers though." "What brings you here?" Her hopes soared at the thought that maybe he was here to see her, to tell her Diamond Tiara had broken up with him. "Your sister said I could wait here with you while she fixes my suit. Whatcha doing?" Snails asked. And hopes crashed back down. "Just getting my homework out of the way. Me, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom have some big plans for the weekend. Oh, and we got the total for the fundraiser. We made," she paused for dramatic effect, "thirteen hundred and two bits." "Wow. That's amazing. Miss Sparkle will be so happy to hear that," Snails said, clapping enthusiastically. "Yup," said Sweetie Belle. "You have any big plans for the weekend?" "I'm going to garden!" Snails said excitedly. "I've never done that before. Maybe I can find some cool bugs to show to Snips." "Rats. I was sort of thinking that, if you didn't, maybe you could adventure with us." "Oh," said Snails, disappointed. "I would if I could, but Diamond's dad wants her to weed the garden and I said I'd help." "You mean she asked you to help, no?" Sweetie Belle asked. "Maybe. But I'm happy to help." "Do you ever do anything you want to do?" At his slightly confused look, she continued. "Is it always what she wants? You do so much for her. What does she give?" "She lets me call her 'Di'." "Nopony calls her that," Sweetie Belle said. "Except me," Snails said, beaming from ear to ear. "Also, she got me the suit. And, ooh, she made me a card, and then—" "She made you a card? You sure she didn't just buy it?" "Hoofdrawn. It has a crayon picture of me by the hospital." Sweetie Belle's eyes shot open. Diamond Tiara would not have, would she? "Did... did it have Snips as well? And a big heart inside?" "Yup. That's the one. You saw it?" Snails asked. "That was my card. I made that!" Sweetie Belle shouted, standing on up on her rear hooves, forelegs on her desk. "She... she must have stolen it." "Nu-uh. She made it." Snails stomped a hoof down for emphasis. "I know she did. She signed it and everything. I keep it next to my bed," Snails said, dreamily. "No, I made it. I made it in my room, with Scootaloo and Apple Bloom there. Just ask them. They'll tell you!" Sweetie Belle watched as Snails's face seemed doubtful for a second, but then hardened. "No," he said. He pointed a hoof at her. "This is just more of your fighting. You guys are always fighting." Snails rushed to the door, stopping just short. "Snips warned me there was things going on between you guys. Well, I like Di and she likes me so just leave us alone!" With that, he slammed the door shut. Sweetie Belle sat staring at the door as a picture hit the ground, knocked loose from the wall by the ferocity of the slammed door. She ignored it. It did not matter. Snails believed she had lied to him, all because that... that stuck-up, colt-stealing card-thief. She slammed her hoof down hard. A line had been crossed. This she would not allow to stand. Rarity opened the door cautiously and peeked in. "Are you alright? I heard all the shouting and Snails just rushed out of here without even taking his umbrella or his suit. He's going to get soaked. What was going on up here?" Sweetie Belle looked up at her sister, with an intensity that made her sister take a step back. "Crafting." "Why thank you," Diamond Tiara said, giving a slight curtsy to the umpteenth pony who complimented how she and Silver Spoon looked. "You look quite fetching yourself, Mayor Mare" Diamond Tiara said with a smile and a wink, though what she was thinking was that the mayor looked like a dog had played fetch with the dress for a few hours. Best not to say that sort of thing out loud to a pony of importance though, at least not until later when it was just Silver Spoon and her. The mayor blushed and moved on inside. She checked her reflection in a nearby window. The decision to wear suits had definitely been the right one, even if the rather last minute nature of the decision had meant a scramble to pull it all together. But they had, and now they looked fabulous. She gave her cane a little twirl. "Time to go inside?" Silver Spoon asked. "I'm getting hungry." Diamond Tiara rested a hoof on her cane and pretended to ponder, but a growl from her stomach gave her away, to her friend's amusement. She grinned. "Okay. Last one to the table is a blank flank!" The two friends raced inside, zig-zagging between guests and nearly wiping out at the first corner. A few ponies warned them to be careful as they raced by, but the fillies ignored them. This was their night and no spoilsport was going to ruin it. Approaching the table, Diamond Tiara slowed down, intending to let Silver Spoon win, only to find Silver Spoon doing the same thing. That brought both fillies to a stop, and they shrugged at each other, giggled, and did their signature move. "Sure is big," Silver Spoon said, looking around the room. Diamond Tiara took it in as well. The lines of tables, the open dance area, and the stage at the far end, currently occupied by a quartet of musicians. And everypony who was anypony in Ponyville, all dressed in their best. Well, except for Snails, who for some reason was wearing something that looked about a decade out of date, and Featherweight, who had his ever-present camera dangling around his neck and seemed more interested in moping than enjoying the opportunity to hang with Silver Spoon. "They're quite good," Diamond Tiara said, eyeing the stage, "if, you know, you like that sort of old pony music." "Yeah. They've totally played the Grand Galloping Gala and everything." As the musicians finished their song, everypony applauded softly. A well muscled minotaur strode up the microphone. He held up a large bell and hit it, the tone ringing loud and clear. With a voice that boomed at near royal Canterlot voice levels, he called out, "When the bell does chime, it's dinner time!" With a cheer, ponies headed toward their seats, while goats streamed into the room, pushing and pulling carts laden with food. "Just in time," Diamond Tiara said, sliding into her seat. "Hi, daddy. Hi, Snails." "So what's all for dinner?" Silver Spoon's father asked. "Well, there's... stuff, and uhm, things," Silver Spoon answered. "Okay, I don't remember. We let the planner handle all that stuff." "It should be so good, though. He got chef Gustave Le Grande," Diamond Tiara said. "Uh-huh, he's like all famous and stuff," Silver Spoon said. "Won some big contest last year and everything." A goat waiter brought by the first course, placing it in the center of the table with a flourish. It had some special name in fancy, but all Diamond Tiara remembered was that it was some form of artichoke tartlet. Snails reached out, took one, and shoved the whole thing into his mouth, chewing with great vigor. With an audible gulp, he swallowed and reached out for another. Before he could get it into his mouth, he found his progress stopped by Diamond Tiara's hoof. "Snails! You're supposed to take small bites. To savor the flavors. Like this," Diamond Tiara said. She reached out and took a tartlet from the plate, taking a small bite from it. "Mmm. Delicious." "But everything is so small," Snails pointed out. "That's the way it always is at fancy places," Silver Spoon explained. "It isn't about the size, but about the care taken in making the food. They totally use the finest stuff and the most talented ponies in Equestria." "That's just silly. Why pay more for less?" Snails asked. "I couldn't agree more, Snails," Filthy Rich said, as he stuck an entire one in his mouth and swallowed. "That's one of the key principles I've used to build Rich's Barnyard Bargains into a nationwide chain. It was even our slogan for a couple of years." "Daddy! You're not helping," Diamond Tiara complained. She adored him, but there were some things he just did not understand. She had once spent several hours trying to explain to him that some things were best because not everyone could have them, without any luck. Getting him to appreciate fine food had not gone any better. "I'm sorry, princess, but give me a good ol', filling beet burger with a side of hay fries over most of what they serve in fancy places." He eyed the last tartlet left on the plate. "Although these are quite good," he said, reaching for it. Diamond Tiara slapped his hoof away. "Remember what the doctor said about being careful how much you eat." "What's that doctor know anyway?" he grumbled, though he did not take the last one. Instead, he watched enviously as Silver Spoon's father did. The goat waiters cleared away one course to make room for the next, and then again, as the dinner went on. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon did their best to educate their family and dates as to the proper way to behave. Which fork, which spoon, the proper time between bites. Their parents mostly ignored it, being quite used to their daughters' antics, instead spending their time chatting. Their conversations inevitably drifted toward business. Snails did his best to learn, but questioned the why of it all. Featherweight, meanwhile, ate and said little, preferring to spend his time sullenly shuffling food around his plate. At last, dessert was served, Gustave's signature exceptionally exquisite éclairs. Snails looked at the silverware, not sure which one would be appropriate. At last, he shrugged and reached for a soup spoon. "You're hopeless, you know?" Diamond Tiara said, pointing him toward the correct fork. "I know," Snails said, blushing slightly as he grinned. But he swapped implements, though only after taking time to compare the two to see the differences between them. Diamond Tiara gave him a smile. He might not know now, and she might have to remind him a few times, okay, a whole lot of times before he got it, but at least he tried, which was more than some could say. She reached over and cut her father's dessert, moving half of it over to her own plate. She cut off his protest. "Daddy, you know the doctor said you had to watch what you eat." "Funny how you always bring that up around dessert and never when we're having stewed apples," Filthy Rich replied. Diamond Tiara smiled as she sliced the purloined part into two parts, offering half to Snails. "That's because dessert is the least healthy part, daddy. I'm only doing this because I love you so much." Diamond Tiara took a bit of her newly acquired dessert, savoring the flavor. "Now how can I refute such sound logic and selfless sacrifice?" Filthy Rich asked the other adults at the table with a laugh. Applejack stood off to the side, watching the stage as the bachelorette auction began. She shook her head at the ponies up there. Not for her, that. She had enough work of her own to do on the farm, and if she wanted a date, she would darn well ask somepony that interested her, not go out with whoever had the deepest pockets. Although, if that blacksmith were to walk on stage, she might just have to bid, she thought with a chuckle. Beside her, Rarity fussed with Sweetie Belle's dress before sending her off with a little pat. "I thought you were bringing Thunderlane to this shindig?" Applejack asked, as she watched Sweetie Belle walk off. "I was, darling, but then Sweetie Belle had this huge fight with her little friend Snails, and I thought a night out in Canterlot would be just the perfect thing to cheer her up. So I went right over to Thunderlane's and cancelled our date," Rarity said, gesturing dramatically to emphasis various words. "Besides, it'd hardly be fair to him." "Huh? How in tarnation can that be true?" "Well, I'm signed up for the bachelorette auction, and as Ponyville's most eligible bachelorette, the bidding is going to go up quite high. As my date, he'd naturally have felt obligated to place the highest bid. I wouldn't want to place such a huge financial burden upon anypony. So you can see, the only thing to do was to show up without a date." She raised her hoof in the air again. "Well, aren't you all full of yourself. Why Ah've half a mind so sign up myself. Ah bet Ah could get more than you. Ah am a winner of the Pony of Ponyville award afterall." "Oh really?" Rarity said, looking Applejack over. "Okay, you're on. Name your stakes." Silently, Applejack kicked herself. Her brother was always telling her to be careful before she spoke, and here she had gone and put her hoof in the hornet's nest. Still, she was not one to back down from a challenge. Applejack thought hard. She could ask Rarity to help out in the fields, but that would probably be more trouble than it was worth. The barn could use a good painting though. A perfect task. Just messy enough to annoy Rarity, but at the same time, the act of prettying something up would be something she would enjoy. "You gotta paint mah barn," Applejack said, "an' no complainin' 'bout mah choice of colors." Rarity pondered for a bit, then nodded. "And if I win you have got to let me design you a fashionable hat," she said. "What's wrong with mah hat?" Applejack asked, reaching a hoof up to her stetson. "Nothing, nothing at all," Rarity said quickly. Too quickly, as if she were worried about offending, Applejack thought. There was nothing wrong with her hat. It had served her well for years, did everything a hat should do and more. Why would she want to replace it when it did not have a hole in it or anything? "I just think you could use something nice for when you aren't working. Something stylish, with a band of just the right color to really bring out the colors of your eyes." Rarity got that look in her eye, a look Applejack had seen plenty of times before. It meant that Rarity was dressing Applejack in her mind. Not only in a hat, but an entire ensemble, no doubt. With a shake of her head, Rarity's look returned to normal. "So, is it a bet? Or are you chicken?" she asked. "Ah ain't scared of nothin'. It's a bet." Giving in to a mischievous urge, Applejack spit on a forehoof before extending it toward Rarity. Rarity cringed. With a look of disgust, she spit on her hoof and gave Applejack's a quick shake, before grabbing a glass of water away from a nearby pony, dipping a napkin in it, once again raising a hoof high in the air, and then furiously scrubbing her hoof. She stopped to check her work, then scrubbed some more. At last, satisfied, she lifted the napkin by one corner with her magic, dropping it on the tray of a passing goat. "Sold, to the beautiful lady with the purple mane." "What?" Applejack heard Rainbow Dash shout from up on stage. "You can't let her have the highest bid. Somepony has got to bid more. You. Or you! Come on! Somepony, please!" "When Iron Will says 'Sold', that's all there is to be told. Make way for the next volunteer," Iron Will said, shoving Rainbow Dash off the stage. "You bought Rainbow?" Applejack asked Rarity incredulously. "Oh yes. I've designed this new line of pegasi wear that is absolutely fabulous, but I need a model for my advertising, and I could hardly ask Fluttershy, what with what happened the last time the poor darling modeled. This way, I get a model at a cost that is practically stealing," Rarity said with a smile. "Plus I owe Dash for that prank she and Pinkie pulled on me last month. What do you think of this slogan: 'For the pegasus who always dresses in style'?" "She'll be more madder than a hornet in a windstorm," Applejack said. "I know," Rarity replied, with a wicked grin. "That'll teach her to nail every piece of furniture in my inspiration room to the ceiling." She looked toward the stage, where the next auction looked to be just about completed. "Now, if you'll excuse me, darling, I do believe I'm next." Applejack watched as Rarity worked her way through the crowd toward the stage. Before stepping up, she took the time to fix up her makeup and mane, then proudly pranced on stage, drawing the eye of almost every stallion in the place, as well as a few of the mares. Maybe the bet had not been the best idea. Beside her, Rainbow Dash spoke up. "Can't believe she bid on me," she said. "Well, I can, because who wouldn't want to bid on the likes of me? I'm awesome and all that. But it's just I figured it'd have been one of my weather team, you know? Or maybe a Wonderbolt's fan who wanted to spend some time with a future Wonderbolt. Or a pegasus wanting flight tips from the best flyer in Ponyville. Though I guess I should be thankful it wasn't Cloudchaser, huh?" she said, nudging Applejack. "Not that I'm scared that Rarity won. It is just that she will probably want to go to the spa or something. Yeah, probably just the spa. Well, no way I'm getting a hooficure, I can tell you that," Rainbow Dash said, trying to convince herself. "Surely it wouldn't be a date or something, right? We're all just friends, and that's how we like it. Maybe she just needs some sun or rain. I could do that. Or something from a high shelf. Easy-peasy with these babies." She flared her wings. At the mention of high shelves, Applejack grew curious. "Did you and Pinkie really nail all the furniture in her inspiration room to the ceiling?" Rainbow Dash looked confused for a second at the sudden change of topic. But talking about herself was one of her favorite activities, so she proudly answered. "No, of course not," Rainbow Dash said, pausing for effect. "Some of it we glued. It was so awesome. You should have seen her face. Best prank ever." She laughed loudly, slamming a forehoof on the ground several times. Suddenly, her laughter stopped, and she looked at Applejack suspiciously. "Why? What'd she tell you? What's she got planned? You gotta tell me!" Rainbow Dash pleaded, now more anxious than when she had first started talking. Applejack contemplated not telling Rainbow Dash what Rarity had said. For a prank like that, Rarity really deserved to personally unveil her plan. But then, Applejack remembered some of the pranks Dash had played on her. Surely Rarity would not begrudge her a little payback. "A photo shoot. She mentioned something about you always dressing in style." Rainbow Dash slapped her forehooves on either side of her face. "All frou-frou? Lace and fancy hair? My image will be ruined!" she complained. One hoof lowered to the ground, while the other she held beneath her chin, in thought. "Although pictures of me would turn out to be awesome. I could do all sorts of action poses. Probably be good practice for when I'm a Wonderbolt. They probably have to do photo shoots all the time." She launched herself into the air, going through a series a poses that looked to be out of a bad kung-fu movie, nearly kicking one of the waiters in the face and leaving all the ponies nearby scowling at her. "Sorry," she said, her cheeks red from embarrassment, as she settled back to the ground. Applejack laugh at the display. Somehow, she doubted those were the sort of shots Rarity had in mind. It would probably be something with fancy hair, carefully applied makeup, and elegant poses. No doubt both of her friends would find themselves thoroughly miserable. And yet she no doubt that Rarity would wind up with usable pictures. The thought of Rarity turned her attention to the stage, just in time for Rarity's auction to finish. "Sold to my buddy from the gym for two hundred and forty bits," Iron Will called out. "YEAH!" the white pegasus yelled back, as the ponies stomped their hooves in approval. Applejack nearly choked. Over two hundred bits? There was no way she would go for that much. Why, Rarity had gotten Rainbow Dash for only seventy-five. "Don'tcha worry. Ah'll still wear yah everyday Ah can," she whispered to her hat. Snails stood besides Mr. Rich. He liked Diamond Tiara's father, he decided. For being Ponyville's wealthiest citizen, he was surprisingly down to earth. He did talk a lot about business though, and a lot of that Snails could not quite follow. And by quite he meant not at all. But that was okay. As long as Snails seemed interested, Mr. Rich was content to carry the conversation by himself. Guess that was a trait he shared with his daughter. Right now, Mr. Rich was telling Snails about how to use charitable donations to offset the recent closure of a tax loophole. He talked practically non-stop, only pausing for the occasional breath and to make a bid on Apple Bloom's sister. Each time he did that, it drew a protest from Diamond Tiara. Snails wished he could go up there. Diamond Tiara had forbidden it, saying that she would have hated it if anypony else were to outbid her, that he was hers and hers alone. That made him feel good, but even so, he was jealous of the other stallions that had gone up. Silver Spoon had even convinced Featherweight to go. He had not fetched much though. For a while, it had looked like nobody bid, so Snails had offered three bits, all he had on him. An old lady had outbid him though. Probably a good thing, since he had no clue what he would have done with Featherweight. Maybe had him take a family portrait or have him help build a pirate fort. Not that it mattered. He had only bid so that Featherweight would not be embarrassed due to nopony, not even Silver Spoon, bidding on him. A pirate fort would be cool though. He and Snips would definitely have to make one. Maybe Diamond Tiara would want to help. She could be the pirate captain. No, the pirate queen. She'd like that better. "Five hundred bits!" Mr. Rich called out, causing the entire room to go quiet, and Diamond Tiara to stare at him, shock on her face. That look was matched by Applejack on stage. "Now there's a stallion who knows what he wants," Iron Will called out. "Sold." With a whoop of joy, Applejack tossed her hat in the air, catching it in her teeth on its way down, and flipping it back onto her head. "Who's most eligible now, Rarity?" she asked, as she bounded off the stage. Snails felt the tap of Diamond Tiara's cane on his shoulder. "Snails, would you be so kind as to fetch me a drink? I need to talk to my father for a minute," Diamond Tiara said. "Oh, sure," he replied. She was annoyed at her dad, big time, Snails could tell, but no doubt Mr. Rich could handle it. He slid through the crowd, toward the side wall where the punch bowl was. He was almost there when he found his way blocked. Before him stood Sweetie Belle. He turned to go around her, but she motioned for him to stop. "Wait. I just wanted to apologize for what happened at my sister's," she said. "I shouldn't have yelled at you. I'm really sorry. And I made you this." Tentatively, she held out an envelope to him. He was not sure if he should take it, after what she had said. He had done his best to forget and forgive her accusations, but the truth was they still lingered. Still, she had been so helpful with the dance lessons and all that, and he did not want to stay mad at her, so he owed her this much. He took the card from her. "Open it," she said quickly, almost as if she wanted to get this over with before she changed her mind. Carefully, he opened the envelope and pulled out the card and look at it. With a gasp, he let the card drop to the floor. She had gone to his house and taken his card! What sort of cruel joke was this? But no, it was not his card. He knew every line of it, and this one was slightly different. A different card, but drawn by the same hoof. "I think I got it mostly the same as the first one I made," Sweetie Belle said. She reached forward and opened the card, revealing a heart drawn within and Sweetie's name. "Just thought you should see the inside of this one before she signed it." Snails blinked, in shock. "I'm sorry," Sweetie Belle said. "I really am. But you should know I would never lie to you, not like her." She turned and walked off, pausing only to give a concerned and guilty look over her shoulder back at him. "Really, daddy? Five hundred bits for that farm pony?" Diamond Tiara asked, her disapproval evident. "She's not worth a tenth of that." "Actually, she's probably worth about double that," Filthy Rich replied to his daughter. "See, earlier, I overheard her making a bet with Miss Rarity. Thanks to me, Miss Applejack has won that bet. You know how much business we do with the Apples and their kin. And who handles most of the negotiating?" Diamond Tiara followed her father's logic, while he munched on a daisy cracker he snagged from a nearby waiter. Between apples, cider, and zap apple jam, Richard's Barnyard Bargains did do a lot of business with the Apples. When you tossed in the various offshoots, like the Manehatten Oranges, the numbers went even higher. If this little stunt resulted in even a slight reduction of the price, it would indeed turn out profitable, but she still did not like it. "Plus the money is for a good cause. This is your charity event, right, princess? And I want it to be a big success," her father said. "So a big bid is the least I could do." "Okay, daddy. I guess that makes sense," Diamond Tiara conceded. "And she has a really nice flank," her father added. Diamond Tiara spit out the drink she had just taken. "Daddy! Gross! Just... Eew!" Her face looked like she had just eaten a huge bit of mashed alfalfa, mixed with apples, her two least favorite dishes in all of Equestria. Her father laughed. "Gotcha." "Not funny, dad. Not funny at all," Diamond Tiara said. "You've probably just scarred me for life." "Oh, I think you'll survive somehow," her father said with a laugh and an affectionate stroke of her cheek. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a check to write and a prize to claim." Her father took enough time to grab another of the daisy crackers before Diamond Tiara could stop him. "Delicious," he said, reaching for another one, but this time, she was quick enough to stop him. With a disappointed look, he sighed, and turned. As he went off, Diamond Tiara could just make out "very nice flank indeed" and his laughter. He could not be serious, could he? No, there was no way, she reassured herself. He was too busy with work to have time for a relationship: that is what he always said whenever she tried to fix him up. Besides, there was no way he would risk jeopardizing the business relationship, which could happen if things did not work out. Yet three words nagged at her mind: Aunt Apple Bloom. She had best make sure. Better safe than sorry. Mind made up, she turned and took a step, only to find her way blocked by Snails, who tossed a piece of paper at her hooves. He did not seem happy. More than that, he seemed downright angry. She glanced down at the paper. "My... uh... card?" she asked. He reached out with a hoof and opened it, revealing the heart drawn within it and the signature that was not her. Rage flooded through her, anger that Sweetie Belle would expose her like this, only to just as quickly be washed away by worry, the thought that this might be the end, that everyone would see this big scene and laugh at her. Snails was not supposed to break up with her. She was supposed to break up with him, but only when she wanted to. That was the plan. "I can explain," she said, taking a step backwards, trying desperately to think of something. "Well?" Snails asked. pushing the card toward her. She took another step back, feeling her rump connect with the table behind her. "See, it is like this..." Except she could not think of something it was like. Even worse, ponies nearby were beginning to notice. No matter which direction she looked, they seemed to be turning her way. She looked every which way, her eyes going from left to right and back again in a panic. What should she say? What could get her out of this mess? What would Sweetie Belle say in response to what she herself said? Sweetie Belle. Where was she? Diamond Tiara's roving eyes locked onto the white filly, whose eyes were staring right back at her, with an intensity that rivaled the sun's. "Well, Di? Like what?" Snails practically shouted. The room was too small. Strange that it had seemed so big before. Too many ponies for such a small area. Why had they sold so many tickets? They should have sold less. She needed to say something, anything. But what? Her mind was devoid of useful ideas. That never happened. She always knew what to say, or at least had something to say. She needed time. She needed to talk to Silver Spoon. She needed space. She pushed back against the table, feeling her rump lift up into the air as her forelegs slid along the ground, trying to move her backwards. Off to the side, she could see Sweetie Belle watching, a look of satisfaction on her face, yet also sadness. To the other side, Featherweight's photographer instincts saw him raising his camera in her direction. And in front of her, Snails. Hurt, anger, betrayal, caring, all evident on his face. So much hurt, and none of it deserved. She wished she could take it away, make it all better. She wished... She took a step forward and kissed Snails, full on the lips, as the camera flashed.