//------------------------------// // Clash of the Titans // Story: The Great and Powerful Battle of Iron Wills // by Equestria Buck Yeah //------------------------------// "Ooh, this is bad, this is bad. This is very, very bad," Top Billing muttered to himself as he paced back and forth in front of his desk. He loosened his red silk tie and unbuttoned his sleek black coat. It was normal early afternoon on Thursday, and his day had started out decent enough. The marketing and promotions director had gone over some numbers and seen a nice profit up to this point in the quarter, enough of one that made him eager to show the company's investors. Where most of the other casinos that spring had seen a slight dip in the number of visitors they had, thanks to Top Billing's hard work and good strategies, the Excoltibur had remained steady, even seeing a slight increase. There was a reason the normally cool and collected stallion was kept on board. He got results. When his two unicorn assistants – one with a coat of burnt sienna and a blonde mane and the other having a beige coat and midnight blue mane – walked in looking grim not an hour ago, he knew instantly something was wrong. But he wasn't prepared in the least for what they told him. Since then, the pair watched with neutral expressions from between the two cushy chairs in the center of the room as Top Billing slowly turned his brown mane gray, one hair at a time. The off-white earth pony finally stomped his way over to the window and looked out over The Strip. If word got out about what would ultimately be called his catastrophic screw-up, he'd turn into the laughingstock of Las Pegasus overnight! He nervously dragged a hoof through his frazzled mane, shaking in distress more and more with each passing minute. "How in the world could something like this have happened?! In my twenty-two years of being in this business, I've never seen anything like this!" he ranted. "Ugh, stupid question. If that moron intern wasn't constantly staring at Miss Fairweather's flank all day long, this wouldn't have happened." Sighing, he sat down in his chair and slumped over, hanging his head tiredly between his hooves. He needed to calm down. Yes, yes, just...have to relax! Everything will be fine! The unicorns watched his breakdown rather emotionlessly. It wasn't their job on the line if the situation wasn't repaired after all. "Okay, so what are we looking at? You guys have any ideas?" The beige pony cleared his throat. "Yes, sir. We were discussing it on the way over once we got word." "We could only come up with three realistic options. Starting with the most likely scenario, you could convince one of them to reschedule." "That's just not going to happen," Top Billing cut them off. "These two have schedules of their own to keep, and we've dealt with them before. You and I both know they wouldn't go for it. And, even if they did, what's our schedule look like?" "We're booked pretty solid for the next six weeks," the blonde stallion mumbled. "Well, there goes that. Anyway, go on." "Option two, you could try and convince one of them to just cancel altogether." "See option one, " Top Billing deadpanned. "Besides, you know the fine print we have on our contracts. You honestly think those two buffoons read it before signing?" "Not at all, sir. Finally, the third option," the unicorns froze and glanced at each other with pursed lips, "you could...try convincing them to...go on stage together." Top Billing glared up at them from across the desk he had been staring vacantly at as they listed their options. A moment of silence later, the three burst out laughing. "You didn't think that was the best way to go from the beginning? You should have told me that one first! That sounds like a real winner there! Hahaha!" As the trio carried on, Top Billing contacted his secretary on the intercom, barely containing his laughter. "Ohhh Celestia! Miss Fairweather?" "Yes, Mr. Billing?" it buzzed back. "Send in that idiot intern, would you?" "That doesn't really narrow it down, sir. Could you be more specific?" "The one that can't stop looking at you," he smirked. "Ah, that one. Right away, Mr. Billing." After a few minutes of boisterous guffaws and jokes at the expense of the two stage performers, they were interrupted by the office door opening and a young, dark-gray stallion with a rather dingy, unkempt mane lazily stepping inside. His 'out there' look led most ponies who worked with him on a daily basis to believe he was probably doing something rather illegal at home. Or in the break room. Or both. Nopony couldn't be sure. "You wanted to see me, dude?" he said with a subtle slur. The lack of respect the youth showed around the office irritated Top Billing to no end. Being addressed as 'dude' at the workplace felt like a slap in the face to everything he earned over his career. If he was a typical example of what the future of Equestria had to offer, he was not impressed. With a twitch of his brow, he laid into the teenage stallion. "Yeah, kid. Get out of my casino! You're fired!" "Umm, I'm just an intern. I don't technically work for you." Blinking once, his sharp mind firing out an idea in an instant, Top Billing reached into his desk and pulled out his oversized checkbook. Taking a quill in his mouth, he opened the book to the most recently used page and filled out a check for the space cadet. Tearing it off, he waved it in the direction of the intern. The beige unicorn took hold of it with his magic and brought it over to the youngster. "Then congratulations, kid. You're hired." "Uh, but you were just ready to fire me." The director paused, quickly coming up with a reasonable excuse. Like the intern would know the difference. "Well, you just showed me you got some brass ones by standing up to me. I like that, so I'm bringing you onto the team officially." "You...you can do that? I thought you had to go through the agency or something." "You let me worry about that," Top Billing brushed his question off. "Whoa, thanks bro," the intern said, grabbing the check in his mouth. "Don't sweat it. Now, first thing I want you to do on our payroll is to clean out your desk and go home." "Yes, sir!" the intern cheered, saluting for his boss. The beige unicorn put his hoof on the young stallion's shoulder and casually escorted him out the door. Once he was beyond the doorway, Top Billing's words finally sank in to his empty head. "Wait, what?" SLAM! "Hey, this check is only made out for one bit!" came from behind the door. "Miss Fairweather, please have security escort Captain Imbecile off the premises," Top Billing spoke into his intercom. "Right away, sir." The unicorn returned to his partner and addressed their boss. "How exactly did that help the situation, sir?" "It didn't. I just wanted him out of here. I'll gladly eat the cancellation fee on that check if it means he's out of our manes." He slapped himself upside the head. "Ugh, still have the matter of our two showponies to deal with. Miss Fairweather, one more thing." "Go ahead, Mr. Billing," the intercom said. "I need you to check with the front desk to see if Iron Will and Trixie have checked in yet. If they have, see that they're sent up to see me right away, but only if they're both here. I need to talk to them together, and since the show that moron scheduled them both to perform is going on tomorrow night, I'm assuming they're probably here," he explained. "Yes, sir. I'll let you know in just a few minutes." "Thanks, hon." ----- A couple hours had passed. Overall, it didn't take long for Miss Fairweather to fulfill Top Billing's request. Just like he assumed, both Trixie and Iron Will had signed in earlier in the day. After speaking with security, they tracked down the pair thanks to the numerous cameras set up all over the casino, including the mall, restaurants and other venues located throughout the facility. Iron Will had been found having some fun – rather loudly at that – gambling, and Trixie was in one of the salons located on the grounds, reading a magazine while a pegasus dolled her up, primping her mane and filing her hooves with the extra level of care one would expect for the price being paid. The waiting was the worst. Top Billing silently panicked in his chair as he thought about what their reactions to such news would be. No doubt they'd be as livid as he was. He almost wished he could rehire the intern just so they could keep him as a punching bag for a little while before dumping him back out on his flank. ----- Over the last thirty minutes, the director had been downing one glass after another of the scotch he kept in one of the large lower drawers of his desk. He was up to number six. He didn't usually break out the bottle but still felt the need to keep one around in case of emergency, and he couldn't think of a better reason to start drinking. It had taken a while, but Top Billing eventually settled down as much as the situation would allow him to. Hearing the amber liquid flowing into the small tumbler was a symphony of sound against the otherwise petrifying silence wracking his brain. The heavenly aroma was a veritable alcoholic bakery, having slowly – though not completely – melted his worries away. Nopony would ever accuse Top Billing of not enjoying his liquor or being able to hold it. Hearing the easily avoidable mistake coming to light in his office kept replaying in his mind. He thought of all the times he caught the intern sitting around doing nothing or brazenly hitting on his secretary and wondered exactly when the monumental blunder happened and how. He could probably use the fool as an example to his kids about staying in school. His assistants, ever the brownsnouters, thought it was a wonderful idea. He was also quite amazed that Miss Fairweather never brought anyone up on charges of sexual harassment. Perhaps the mare realized she was simply dealing with a young idiot and couldn't be bothered to care. He felt his blood start to boil again at the notion and poured another drink. A lawsuit was the last thing the company needed. Top Billing's associates observed with disinterest from across the desk as their boss topped off his glass and wolfed down the liquid ambrosia, neither condoning nor condemning his relaxation methods. It wasn't anything they hadn't seen before. The quiet but tense atmosphere was broken by the office door squeaking open. The secretary stepped through, clipboard in hoof. "Mr. Billing, Iron Will and Trixie–" "The Great and Powerful Trixie," a voice spoke from outside. Miss Fairweather rolled her eyes. "...and The Great and Powerful Trixie are here, as you requested." He fumbled clumsily with the bottle as he put it back, grunting loudly when it hit the bottom of the drawer with a loud 'klink' and threatened to shatter to pieces. Maybe he had a bit too much this time. Once it was comfortably back in its resting place, he straightened his mane and tie and buttoned his coat back up. He quickly breathed into his hoof and took a whiff. Seemed OK. "Send them in." The secretary nodded toward the guests. In first came the massive minotaur, ducking through the doorway while standing imposingly atop two of his goat entourage – the only two that came with him to the office – with his arms folded. Behind him entered the self-proclaimed Great and Powerful Trixie, wearing her trademark hat and cape and clamping a hoof over her snout, trying and failing to hold her breath. The look she was aiming at Iron Will's putrid assistants could have killed them, had their eyes met. Even Miss Fairweather had to swat at the air as she departed. "Thanks for stopping by on such short notice. Glad to see you were both here. Please, have a seat," Top Billing said, motioning to the chairs before them. "Iron Will wants to know why he was pulled away from his winning streak at the craps table," he demanded as he sat down. "Nopony cares about that. The Great and Powerful Trixie was in the middle of a hooficure for her show tomorrow night, so this had better be important," the azure braggart said. The minotaur cocked an eyebrow at the showmare. "What do you mean your show? Iron Will is going on stage tomorrow night." "What the hay are you talking about?" "Please, everypony," Top Billing interjected. "That's why I've called you here." "And who are you?" Iron Will asked. "I'm Top Billing, director of marketing and promotions here at the Excoltibur Hotel and Casino. I'm ultimately the one who makes the decisions as far as who's going to be performing, and when, with some assistance from my friends here." The unicorns nodded respectfully. "I'll cut to the chase. We have a bit of a problem. It seems one of our...less intelligent interns," he smirked, "somehow ended up putting you both down for tomorrow night. At the same time." "What?!" they screamed together. Iron Will zipped over to Top Billing's desk, nose to nose with him in a flash. "You had better find a way to fix this, or you're going to be in for a world of hurt!" he shouted, blowing the director's mane back. "Sit down," the director said bluntly, unintimidated by Iron Will's showboating. He had dealt with plenty of raving CEOs and board members in the past and wasn't going to be bullied in the least by some stage loon. After steaming for a moment, the minotaur reluctantly – with a defiant snort – returned to his seat. His goats glared daggers at the unimpressed earth pony across from them. "Trixie agrees! This is completely unacceptable! Trixie works alone, and if you don't find a way to resolve this, Trixie is walking!" "As is Iron Will!" the minotaur added. "Excuse me, but Trixie wasn't finished talking!" "You're finished talking when Iron Will says you're finished!" he yelled in her face. Somehow, her hat managed to stay on her head, despite being flapped about by his hurricane-like voice. Rolling her eyes at his arrogance, she continued, "Whatever. Anyway, when Trixie was here several months ago, everything was handled magnificently! The stage, the lightning, the catering, everything! Who was in charge back then so Trixie can speak to them about getting this done right?!" "I was." "Then fix this!" "That's why I called you both here, if you'll let me finish. My associates and I have gone over the only real options available. We can either reschedule one of you, cancel one of your shows altogether, or somehow get you to perform together. That's the best we came up with on such short notice," Top Billing explained calmly. The two egomaniacs rubbed their chins, almost in unison, processing the options. Finally, Iron Will spoke up. "I suppose a reschedule could work. How far ahead are we talking?" "Trixie is also curious." The reddish-brown unicorn stated, "The only opening we have is several weeks away." "Several weeks?!" they yelled together again. Aware of their second shared session of shouting, they glanced angrily at one another. "Well, Iron Will isn't going to cancel his workshop! What better place to show ponies that they can remain headstrong and confident through the power of assertiveness after all their hopes and dreams have been crushed than Las Pegasus?! These ponies need me!" he boasted with a flexing of his massive arms. "Oh, don't be ridiculous! Ponies come to Las Pegasus to be entertained, and there's no bigger entertainer in Equestria than The Great and Powerful Trixie! I am most certainly not going to cancel. Trixie's fans came to see a show like none other, and nothing is going to stop Trixie from giving them one!" she chanted, thrusting her hoof dramatically into the air. Iron Will glared at Trixie and continued to argue his case as eloquently as he usually did everything else. "Well, if you think Iron Will is going to share the stage with a pompous mare like you, you're out of your mind!" "Trixie would rather eat a trough full of pig slop than perform with a circus clown such as yourself!" she retorted. As the stage presences attacked each other, as well as Top Billing, one of Iron Will's goats stared puzzlingly at the azure pony. He was sure they had seen her someplace before. She looked so familiar. Perhaps it was her outfit? Maybe the way she spoke about herself in third person? Nopony they knew did anything that ridiculous. It suddenly hit him and he whispered in Iron Will's ear, temporarily stopping his tirade. "Uh huh. Really? Is that so?" He looked over the foaming magician and grinned devilishly. "Oh yeah! You're right!" "–and furthermore, Billing–" "So, Twinkie!" Iron Will interrupted. An eye twitched. "...Did...did you just call me...'Twinkie'?!" "No." "It's Trixie!" How Iron Will didn't burst into flames solely by her death glare was a mystery to all. "That's what I said. So, Trixie, if you decide to walk out on this, perhaps you could take your show on the road to a little place called Ponyville," the minotaur said smugly. "Grrk! Ergh! Buh!" she stuttered and spat. "Don't you dare talk to me about that place!" "So, you did almost wreck the town?" "I did nothing of the sort!" Trixie snarled. "It was these two colts that I sincerely hope were in the special ed classes at the local school! If those village-idiots-in-training understood the difference between reality and entertainment through exaggeration, Trixie's reputation would never have been damaged! How did you even know about that incident?" Iron Will patted his cohort on the back, and the goat smiled at the flummoxed unicorn. "Iron Will makes it his business to know what's going on in the entertainment world, and my friend here reminded me about something that we heard involving you and that little place." "Baaa!" the goat added fiercely. "Oh really? And just where did you find out about it?" Trixie demanded. "I read the tabloids." The four ponies in the room stared at him, unmoved. "What? If somepony happens to mention Iron Will in one of those things, Iron Will is going know about it!" he explained, striking several over-the-top poses to the crack of an unseen whip. Trixie broke her silence and smirked at her opponent. "You know, I wasn't going to mention this originally, but since it's come up, I'm pretty sure I saw something somewhere about you as well. If I recall right, I believe it was about being brought up on charges for verbal abuse and emotional distress!" Launching her from her chair with a 'thud', he hollered, "Those charges never really happened! Fluttershy denied time and again that she ever filed anything against me! She may be the only pony unhappy with my assertiveness training, but we came to a mutual understanding! How exactly did you know about that anyway, hm? You don't seem like the type of pony that has many friends to tell her about that kind of stuff," he emphasized, poking her chest as she hoisted herself back to her seat. Swatting him away, Trixie composed herself. Turning her nose up proudly, she answered, "A great magician never reveals her secrets." Iron Will, his two goats, and the other three ponies in the room stared at her, unmoved. She opened a single eye upon feeling the weight of her critics' silent, judging gazes. Groaning in defeat, she told them the horrific truth. "Oh, alright. Trixie reads–" She stopped and frowned at herself, realizing what she was about to say was going to sound a bit familiar to the room. "Trixie...reads the tabloids." They continued to stare at her, unmoved. "...I'm curious if I'm ever mentioned in them, OK?" she said through gritted teeth. Still, they continued to stare. "...Shut up." Iron Will smirked happily at his cloven-hoofed friends, a small victory against the obnoxious mare having been won. A furious growl from across the room. Top Billing slumped his head and ran a hoof across his worn face. It seemed the witty banter between the two had died down, but he still had a massive headache all of a sudden. Maybe it was time for another drink. "Are you two finally finished? Can we straighten this up now?" he asked angrily, settling into his large plush chair in a businesslike fashion. He held his hooves together and glared stoically. "Look, if you can't make her disappear, Iron Will is done here," the large bull stated plainly. "And if you can't convince him to spout off someplace else, Trixie is done here," the mare added. "And you both realize that, according to the fine print on the contracts you signed, any deposits you've already given to the Excoltibur Hotel and Casino for any services is completely nonrefundable under any circumstances," Top Billing finished with the tiniest of smiles. "Are you kidding me?! Iron Will ain't got time to read the fine print!" he roared, slamming a fist onto Top Billing's desk, the impact shooting several quills into the air and onto the floor. "Yeah, we gathered that," the director stated bluntly, "and get off my desk!" "How in Equestria are our deposits nonrefundable when you made the mistake?" Trixie asked. "That's an excellent question! What's your excuse, Mr. Billing?" He simply shrugged as Iron Will sat back down, still steaming. "Hey, the higher-ups are the ones who make the rules, not me. I follow them just the same as you two. You want to complain? Go yell at them. The customers are one thing; the talent is something else entirely according to their rules, and even then, few exceptions are made. Now, we still haven't worked this out. The show is tomorrow, and if somepony doesn't go out there, I'm going to be forced to issue refunds to many, many upset patrons, and that's going to make me upset, and you don't want to know who I can get in touch with about things that make me upset." The poorly disguised threat caught the performers' attention, but they remained steadfast in their appearance. Top Billing noticed the subtle shrink from his guests and smirked. The two loud artists turned and stared aggressively into each other's eyes, silently battling for dominance. Unfortunately, neither side was giving an inch. Simultaneously, they looked away, Trixie's gaze darting around as she decided what to do and Iron Will turning to his cronies for advice. The minotaur slouched. The goat between the two entertainers was staring blankly at nothing in particular while the other was munching absentmindedly on a corner of the carpet. A light blue glow suddenly grabbed onto the fabric and yanked it out of his mouth, throwing it back onto the floor. "Stop doing that!" A moment of awkward, decisive silence passed. The idea of giving up their deposits for absolutely nothing sat as well with the pair as a good case of the plague, and trying to redo their already tight schedules was simply not going to work. Iron Will finally spoke up with a sigh. He rubbed his temples and pursed his lips, unable to believe what he was about to say. "Fine. Iron Will.. agrees.. to work with Trixie if she's willing." He smirked and folded his arms defiantly. A disgusted grumble left the showmare's lips a second later. "And Trixie," she shuddered, the words she was about to speak being almost painful to say, "agrees to work with.. Iron Will." Neither Top Billing nor his associates could believe what they heard either. "You...you're serious?" "Yeeees," they groaned. Yet again, they shared an annoyed glimpse at their coincidental actions, instantly turning their noses up. "Hmph!" "Well...err...okay! Great! Glad we could come to an agreement," Top Billing stated, relieved that what he hoped would be the hardest part was over. "I'll get in touch with the boys at the printing stations downstairs and get them to put together some last minute signs and pamphlets and stuff advertising you both as the headline. They may have to work through the night to get it done, but they've never let me down before. I guess I'll see you tomorrow night before the show then!" The perturbed pair left their seats and shook hooves with the director, choosing to give each other a sideways glance instead of meeting Top Billing eye to eye. "Just don't get in Iron Will's way and everything will be just fine, understand?" "Oh puh-lease! The only way I could get in your way is if I walked backwards," Trixie snapped. "Considering where you have your head, you'd probably have a hard time seeing where you were going!" The blue unicorn stuck her tongue out at the behemoth for good measure as they bickered on their way out the office, the goats following a step behind. Surprisingly enough, despite their arguing, they didn't slam the door closed. Top Billing collapsed onto his desk face first. "Dear Celestia, somepony kill me now."