Dynamic entry into the CMCs' clubhouse and attempt to convince them (if they are present to witness said entry) to help you hide from the other insane ponies in exchange for the chance that they may earn their cutie marks for hospitality/ kindness/ mercy, etc. It's a long shot but beggars can't be choosers.

Open the door while screaming 'I CAME' for no apearent reason, then procees to close the door. Inside you see three fillies sitting on what looks to you like a red and white ringed circle. Ask the three fillies if they have something you can use to get rid of that smell and if they can privode cover for an idefinite amount of time

Dynamic entry LIKE A BOSS then run away while getting chased by a pony that came out of a blue phone box that was inside the clubhouse in the middle of a pentagram.

Not one to be slowed down, and not one to turn down an opportunity to hide when you see it (not realizing what happened last time you tried that *cough Rarity *cough) you start running again and make your way towards the tree house.

Without slowing down, you run up the ramp to the front door, knowing fully well that for a bawller boss like you. A regular entry just will not do. NO SIR! NOT AT ALL!!!

Right as you are about to reach the door, you jump up and extend your leg. That's right, you are GOING TO DYNAMIC ENTRY THIS SHIT LIKE THE BOSS THAT YOU ARE!!!!

"I CAME!!!" You shout as you fly towards the door. You would have shouted "Dynamic entry" like Gai did, but for whatever reason you feel compelled to shout that instead. You aren't sure why.

Unfortunately you were so caught up in your dynamic entry that you fail to notice that the door is already open, so you fly right through the door and tumble onto the floor like an idiot. After almost hitting the back wall you stop and roll onto your back.

"I HAVE ARRIVED!!!" You shout as you stare up at the ceiling. You don't know why you were compelled to shout that either, you just do. You really shout stop shouting though, you don't want to give away your position.

Look around if you could find something helpful.(Like potions, weapons, armors etc. etc.)

Loot the tree house of valuables.

There are no ponies currently inside the treehouse.
Eat some stale cookies from the pantry.
Collect shuriken from Cutie Mark Crusaders Ninjas adventure.
Find some green and brown rolls of dumb fabric and make a Gillie suit.
Hide in the cupboard until the heat dies down, then sneak into the forest in gillie suit.

You get up and look around tree house. Ends up you were right. There are no ponies here, this tree house is completely empty... for now that is. You use this rare moment of being in a house with no one around to look around the tree house and loot it for valuables. If there is one thing that your videogames have taught you, its that there are always valuables around any house.

Unfortunately after thoroughly rummaging through the place (and putting back everything as you found it; you don't want to let anyone know you've been here obviously) you find nothing. Absolutely nothing useful or otherwise. There weren't even any stale cookies in the pantry you checked. There was a cookie jar there, but unfortunately there were no cookies in it. Guess someone must have gotten to them before you.

The only thing you find while rummaging through this place is a pack of crayons. Will that be useful? You really have no idea, so you put them in your pocket just to be safe.

Put on your Army helmet, get inside, and start barricading with HMGs and lots of ammo.

You also find an army helmet while looking around this place (oddly enough), but it is much too small for your head and is made of cheap plastic. The thought occurs to you to start barricading the treehouse just in case any ponies show up. Unfortunately you have no weapons with which to barricade the treehouse nor any ammo with which to supply them. Plus nobody in Ponyville owns a weapon, so getting one might be incredibly difficult.

Burn the clubhouse to the ground!

BURN IT!!! that should be enough of a distraction for you to plan to burn more stuff

The thought occurs to you to burn down the tree house, but you quickly shake your head free of those thoughts. You don't want to give away your position just yet, much less burn anything down. Even if you did, you have no objects on you with which to burn down this treehouse.

Just then, something hits you, and you realize something. You're in a place that's only one room. Nothing useful or otherwise can be found in it, and you're once again hiding...

#1: Do the god damn dinosaur already; you put off doing it for too long, and even if you want an audience to see you do it, the nagging urge to do so can't be ignored.

Make the treehouse your hidey-hole! Then do the dinosaur on the floor! (Or the moonwalk, depending on how awesome you feel!)
Alternatively, realise how stupid this is. Hiding in a tree that is designed to stand out is a horrible idea as it is the most likely tree that will attract attention. You would be found almsot instantly.......
But hide in it anyway.

1. Go up to the tree house.
2. Open door to tree house.
3. Make said tree house your new base of operations.
4. Do the mother fucking dinosaur to celebrate your new base of operations.
YOUR INNER ALEX LOUIS ARMSTRONG COMMANDS IT!

1.) Enter treehouse
2.) Do the dinosaur
3.) ???
4.) Profit

You've had this unbelievably nagging itch to do this again since you did it in Lyra's house, and now that you're doing it again it feels so god damned good... And silly.

"Open the door, get on the floor
Everybody walk the dinosaur
Open the door, get on the floor
Everybody walk the dinosaur"

You sing aloud as you do it. My God you feel silly right now but you can't help it.

Oh great, a small house of sorts, that must mean there are more ponies. You don't want to just avoid civilization but you can't risk getting almost-raped again because of you're alluring stench (you knew you shouldn't have put on Axe body spray before dimension-hopping). As you ponder the conundrum you hear a sound that has so far meant nothing but trouble for you: the chopchopchop of helicopter blades. The Holy Hind once again flies over your head, but this time it stops and hovers in mid-air above your head. Solid Snake, once again in the co-pilot's seat, opens the hatch and takes out a bucket of sewer water and rotten fish. Snake leans out and pours the vile concoction over your head. He and Jesus then fly off as he gives you a thumbs up. Congratulations! You now smell like piss-water and dead fish instead of sex!

Your epic moment of doing the dinosaur is interrupted by a vaguely familiar sound.

"Oh no no no no no no no no NO NO NO NO NO!!!" You scream to yourself as you get up and look around for a place to hide. Instinctively, you duck into one of the corners and get low. If nothing else, they won't be able to see you. Though the wooden frames of the house won't do jack against bullets, which you know for certain a hind helicopter would have.

*This plays in the background*
~But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough.~
Look around in confusion wondering where that music is coming from.

Suddenly, as the sound get closer, it seems to change. It sounds more like a lawnmower than a helicopter. You're not about to look outside and check though.

"But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough."

It sounds like three little girls singing. Why they are singing that you have absolutely no idea, but they are getting closer.

Suddenly, you hear what sounds like a motorcycle skid to a halt. It skids for several seconds before everything falls silent. The singing oddly stops as well.

"So, what are we gonna do today Scootaloo?" you hear a rather squeaky voice ask outside.

"The same thing we do every day Sweetie," another, more boyish voice says. "Try to get our cutie marks!"

-Meanwhile back at the ranch-

"Again, I'm really sorry about that Applejack," Rainbow Dash said to Applejack as the two of them walked out of the orchard on the path back towards the farm. Blood and bruises still covering their bodies.

"Ah said it twas all right RD," Applejack responds as she walks next to her, a comforting smile on her face. "Ya'll didn't know any better. Ah probably would 'ave done tha same thing."

"Yeah," Rainbow Dash said, she hung her head low as she walked. "But Twilight just seemed really worried when she came to me. Like she needed to find that human thing or..."

"Yeah, Ah know," Applejack said in response. "Let's just be thankful that neither of us really got hurt."

"Yeah," Rainbow said as she looked back up at Applejack, a sheepish smiled adorned her face. Applejack couldn't help but smile as well. The two of them walked in silence the rest of the way towards the farm.

"Uh... Applejack," Applejack didn't even respond as she kicked down the door and jumped inside, ready to beat the living apples out of anything in her house if need be. ESPECIALLY BIG MACINTOSH!!!

Twilight was lying on her belly on the couch. Her solid snake outfit (eye patch included) was all off of her and folded on a nearby table, her sword at the top of the pile. Her limbs were all spread out and relaxed like she hadn't been all day. Big Macintosh sat on top of her, his forehooves on her back.

Both he and Twilight just looked dumbly at Applejack as she stood there at the entrance with a look of confusion on her face. Rainbow Dash stood behind her, just as confused as she was.

Wake up. See This. What do? (Comment driven story)

by RazortheAwesome

Tree House