I didn't even find out the names of my squad members. All I knew was that they'd decided to grab weapons and go to the launch bay. I was certain I did see a group of Loaders knock over a few Engineers whilst carrying a bunch of random weapons; god help me if they had followed me. Instead of barging into the armoury and grabbing the first gun that has the word 'DIE' written on it, my HUD went into an overview of their stats.
The armoury also wasn't as big as I'd first assumed. Instead, it was but a small room containing Digistruct modules for different firearms. Remembering what my favourite manufacturer from Borderlands 2 was, I stomped over to the small, neglected corner of the room labelled 'BAnDiT' in purple lettering. Excitedly, I looked over the options I had. Since most Hyperion workers, even Loaders, assumed Bandit guns would cause cancer, this section was suitably full.
"Weapon selection protocols engaged." I said firmly. Like most of the other things I had said in my Loader form, I'd been thinking of that when I said it. I didn't mean to say it: it simply came out. My optical sensors promptly detected a 'hevy Spinigun', a huge red thing with triple spinning barrels, shark mouth at the barrel base, and huge magazine size. Looking around to see what else there was on the shelf, I found nothing of interest, and moved to the 'Hyperion' segment of the armoury.
This area had seen plenty of use; bootprints were in firm grooves where Combat Engineers had ran in and grabbed a rifle. Instead, I dented the floor as I pored over the available guns. Part of me wanted to pick up The Bane, just for a laugh, but the rest of them just Thresher-bitch-tentacled that other part into submission. I realized at that moment that I really shouldn't have become a Loader. Seeing nothing of interest, I sighed. Actually said 'sigh'. Not breathing: just saying it.
"Sigh." I muttered, turning and moving to Torgue. "Preparing to cause, quote, 'explosioooooooooooooooons'. End quote." I muttered some technological stuff, before looking at the Torgue equipment. This area had seen little use, abeit more than the 'BAnDiT' section. Ignoring this, my optical sensor landed on something called 'Triple Barreled Hulk'. It lived up to its name; the shotgun was absolutely gigantic, and the HUD showed a spread of 25X 2508. Insane.
"Obtaining firearm." I proudly declared, snatching the Digistruct module and attaching it to my waist. Satisfied, I stomped out of the door, a hiss occuring as it sealed behind me. My ECHO, as though the door were some linchpin, turned on, and Handsome Jack appeared.
"Sup." he said. He sounded like he was eating something. "Just to let ya know, kiddo, you're gonna be doing some diplomacy for us. So we're just gonna fire you at the planet, into the castle courtyard, and then send more Loaders when the horses fight back. If they don't fight back, we'll still send them. Kay? Cool. Off to your rocket pod, Captain Kiddo." Right...so we're attacking an innocent race? Wow; Hyperion's sunk low.
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The sensation of being fired at a planet was strange. It felt warm, but cold because I was in space. My optical sensors could make out the glowing orbs that were my comrades/subordinates. We'd set up a private radio channel: not even Hyperion could hear us on it. We hoped.
"So, you guys ready?" I asked.
"Mm-hmm." A BUL Loader replied calmly. "More fun than my old desk job."
"You had a desk job?"
"Aye, then Hyperion killed me and my family as we slept, I got put into an A.I core, and now I was told that I was part of some takeover of a planet."
"Same here, man." One JET Loader answered.
"Ditto." Came the reply of a WAR Loader.
"CONFIRMED." Boomed a sudden voice.
"Jesus, who the hell was that?!" I asked.
"SUPER BADASS LOADER, DESIGNATE PAY-N3. AT COMMAND, SIR."
"God DAMN, that's awesome." I snorted. "Ok, first things first: when we land, we need to look intimidating. None of this 'Weapons lowered, nice public image' crap. We go in fast, and hard."
"That's what she said." JET laughed.
"Screw you." I groaned.
IMPACT IN 10 SECONDS. PREPARE TO ENGAGE.
I mentally prepared myself; smashing into a castle courtyard controlled by horses is a bit strenuous on the mind. Just as I'd prepared myself, a huge smashing noise followed by automatic whirring of my body unfolding. I felt the strange blue energy of Digistruct creating the Hulk shotgun, and I stood at full height, aiming my weapon around.
The tiny armoured horses were caught unaware by our sudden impact, and seemed to fumble for their spears. I didn't hear any other impacts though, the others must have been delayed. No matter: I'd hold them off myself until my squad arrived. Sweeping the shotgun in a 360° arc, the holographic reticle on the HUD turned red as it highlighted hostile targets. Just as I thought the horses were too afraid, one stepped up, spear raised defensively.
"So," it chuckled. "You're the one who caused all that commotion last night, eh? What happened to your spinning shields? Fall off your arms?"
"Negative." I replied. My voice tensed all the soldiers, and the hundreds of spears were heard and felt moving forward in front of me. I ignored it: what could metal do to metal? "That was my original body. Despite my new appearance, I am still: Loader designate SMP-5N."
"No matter what you are, you are to be brought before Princess Celestia and Princess Luna to stand trial for your attempted assassination on their lives. Do you object, beast?"
"Affirmative." I replied. "I had no intentions to harm your Princesses. The Hyperion corporation simply wishes to negotiate terms of settlement. Any alarm caused is to be docked from my theoretical pay."
"Why should we trust you, beast?" the guard growled. "In spite of your size, we can quickly overwhelm you. What say you to THAT, tartarus-spawn?" Almost as if on cue, the whooshing sound of 3 Loaders speeding in to impact the cobblestone was followed by many gears whirring as they unfolded into prepared positions.
"I say negative." I smugly stated. The guards around formed a bigger space for us and began circling like wolves around a bison. The arrogant horse guard growled at them, before laughing defiantly.
"No matter: Unicorns! Levi-tate!" he barked. A multitude of horses halted, set their horns aglow, and I felt myself being lifted up into the air. Quickly glancing about in panic, I saw that my squad was receiving the same treatment. "Take them to the princesses, and confiscate their wea-"
BOOM.
A gigantic explosion followed by extremely loud steel and titanium groaning meant PAY-N3 had arrived. I saw the Super Badass Loader stomp his huge feet into position, taking up firing solutions.
"NOBODY MOVE." he boomed, shaking the ground with each word. The unicorns complied quickly, releasing their unrealistically powerful grip and dropping us all. The lead guard swallowed hard, nodded, and pointed to a single horse.
"Y-Yes sir, Mr Gigantic Demon!" he snapped a salute to PAY-N3, before barking orders at his subordinate. "Scorch-Mane! Escort these gentle...demons to the Princesses! ASAP!" The young guard saluted, and replied with a firm 'yes sir!'. He stepped forward, seemingly unfazed by my 8 foot 3 form. My sensors detected he was less than 4 foot 5.
"Follow me, sir." he muttered in a monotone voice. We did as he asked: BUL was humming well known songs over the mic, JET was simply gazing in wonder at the small horses, PAY-N3 was shattering the ground with each step he took, WAR was stomping after the small horse not saying a word, whilst I was trying to think up things to say to the leaders of the horses.