//------------------------------//
// Chapter 3 
// Story: Equinophobia 
// by Film Falm Brothers 
//------------------------------//

	…
…
…Dude, you’re awake. Victor sighed and tried to will himself back into unconsciousness. Not gonna work. Just get up, put your big boy pants on, and figure out a plan, Victor’s mind scolded him as he tried to resist the urge to open his eyes. Finally giving in, Victor opened his eyes. Yup, still in hell on Earth, or where ever the hell this was.
“Fine, you win.” Victor muttered to himself as he pushed himself up, and noticed that he was on a bed, albeit a very small one. Well, it beats a tree. Victor shook off the covers and busied himself: Running his hands through his hair, wiping the gunk away from his eyes, anything to delay the inevitable being feed to the crazy horses by the… thing that was probably downstairs, waiting to torture him before sicking his crazy horses on him once again. Suddenly, Victor heard something marching up the stairs.
“Wakey wakey my odd little friend! Well, what you think, pretty good transformation, given the lack of reference?” Victor looked over Discord’s new form. He had actually come pretty close to looking like a human, but a few things were off, mainly his horns and eyes not changing. Discord had even clothed himself in an oversized trench coat and pair of pants that were brown wool on the left, and green chainmail on the right.
Victor sighed, “So I guess you really are the lord of chaos?”
“Well of course I am! And no needs to sound so negative, uh…what did you say your name was again?” Discord tugged at his goatee, cocking an eyebrow at Victor.
“Victor. Victor Harold. Why do you care anyways?” Victor wasn’t even scared at the impending horrify things he was probably going to endure at this things hands.
Discord waved a finger at him, which promptly removed itself from his hand to hover right in front of Victor’s nose. “Tsk tsk tsk. No need to be rude.”
“Well excuse me for not being in a good mood after getting chased though a forest by demonic horses all night, and captured by some insane creature to boot!” Victor was getting impatient: he almost wanted to just get whatever was going to happen over with. Discord, being Discord, found Victor’s outburst to be a laugh and a half.
“Hahaha! So, I’m not the only thing those ponies aren’t sugary sweet with, huh?” Discord casually started to walk on the ceiling.
“Well you can go straight to- wait, what?” Victor thought he had just heard that this Discord wasn’t the one in charge of the horses.
Discord rolled his eyes, “Please. If you think one night of running through the Everfree is bad, you should try being trapped in stone for a thousand plus years. One word: Bohr-ring!” Discord pushed back his hair.
Victor was trying not to, but he was getting a good feeling in his gut about this guy, “So, you’re not in charge of the horses? You didn’t sick ‘em on me?”
“ SPPRT ---- BWAHAHAHAHA!” Discord did a spit take, spitting about a gallon of chocolate milk out the window, “M-me? In charge of THEM? Hahaha, y-you must be crazier than me!” Discord clutched his stomach, trying to maintain himself. After almost a full minute, he had finally stopped laughing enough to talk again, “n-no, I didn’t so far as know a thing about you until you came barging into the house. Although I must admit, I haven’t had this much of a laugh since I turned all of Equestrias water into vinegar! And then the whole maze with the Elements of Harmony- good stuff.”
Victor was half smiling himself by this point, “The Elements of Harmony? Sounds like a sunshine and lollipop band for kids.”
“HAHAHA! St-stop, you’re cracking me up!” Discord quite literally cracked up, breaking into pieces as if he had never returned from being a statue. With a snap of the fingers, Discord put himself together, only to laugh some more. Victor couldn’t help it, Discord’s laugh was contagious.  He started snickering, which only made Discord laugh more, which of course sent Victor into hysterics. Soon, both of them were writhing on the floor, faces red. This went on for a few minutes, neither of them able to contain themselves for long until they busted out laughing once again.
“ohh…” Discord sighed, clutching his sides. Now THIS makes up for having to be a goody two shoes all the time! “Alright, no more…no more.”
Victor propped himself up, taking deep breaths. The two of them sat their in silence for a moment, regaining their breath. Finally, Victor said, “Well, good to know not everything around here wants to kill me.”
Discord smiled, “Oh, you are being far too kind! You’re making me blush!” Victor looked at Discord: two large packets of blush were pasting themselves onto Discord cheeks, making him look like a Barbie gone horribly wrong. Victor chuckled, which almost brought about a second laugh attack, but Discord managed to hold himself together. With a snap, the makeup disappeared, “And as much as we have disagreed in the past, I very much doubt that these ponies want to kill you. They’d probably faint if you some much as hinted at the possibility.”
Victor pushed his hair out of his face, “Then why were they chasing me all night?”
“Because, my comical cohort,” Discord glanced up at Victor, “as much as the ponies deny it, they are ever so fearful of anything not like them.” Discord stood up, straightening his new clothing, “If you think this was bad, you should see what they do to Changelings. And don’t even get me started on Griffons!”
“So you’re saying that these hor-ponies hate anything that isn’t them?” Victor’s heart beat was racing back to its fever pitch: this was not good news for him.
“While I would not use the word hate, you, unfortunately, are not far off the mark. It would take a miracle to get them to trust you.” Discord started to say more, but was interrupted. A creaking sound followed by hooves clacking on wood signaled that a horse had made its way into the house. A series of chittering and other… horse noises seemed to grab Discord attention, almost as if he could understand it.
Victor and Discord both went wide eyed, but for vastly different reasons. This is it, this is how I die! God damn it, I knew it’d be something with horses in it! Victor thought, with the panic setting back in with full force. Discord, however, smiled at the interruption.
“Luckily for you, miracles are one of my specialities.” Discord winked at Victor, and, with a snap, reverted into his original form, “Wish me luck.”
I’m gonna die, Victor thought as Discord went down the stairs.

* * * 

“That’s it, nice and easy.” Fluttershy guided Pinkie Pie onto the couch. The walk from Ponyville had taken far longer than she had expected; the sun was nearly setting.  Pinkie hadn’t recovered much from the shock; she was still walking like a zombie, not really reacting to anything around her. Fluttershy heard the stairs creak.
“It is about time you got home! Three kids to feed and you’re off gallivanting with your friends.” Never wasting the chance for a good laugh, Discord had changed into a poofy blonde wig and apron, and had three baby ponies snuggled against his chest, one of which started crying, “There, now you’ve gone and done it! And I had just got them settled down.”
Fluttershy smiled: Discord certainly made things livelier around the cottage, “That’s very funny Dissypoo, but Pinkie here needs quiet.” Discord frowned at Fluttershy’s smile: she knew he was sensitive about that nickname.
“I wish you wouldn’t call me that in front of company,” Discord snapped away his costume and kids, and walked over to the couch, “And to what do we owe the honor of the company of the best element of harmony?” Discord realized too late that Pinkie was definitely not herself, and got a look that bordered on The Stare from Fluttershy. But, her nurturing instincts over throwing her agitation, Fluttershy returned her attention to Pinkie.
“Oh, one of Twilights spells went wrong, and some terrible creature gave her a scare.” Fluttershy put a very sarcastic tone on the word terrible. Ah, so that’s what got the town in such a fret. Naughty naughty my dear Victor, Discord thought with a smile.
“And what, may I be so bold as to ask, is oh so terrifying about this beast?” Discord raised his voice, hoping that Victor was getting an earful of the conversation, “What could it do that was so bad. No, wait! Let me guess… Did it denounce the magic of friendship? No! … Did it touch Rainbow Dash’s hooves? Or…oh the horror, the horror! Did it deface one of Twilights precious books?” Fluttershy rolled her eyes at Discord increasingly dramatic reactions.
“No, apparently the thing was in the library with Pinkie and Twilight, and it charged them and ran out of town.” Fluttershy rubbed her back: she was not a strong pony, and Pinkie had been dead weight all the way to the cottage, “Twilight’s pretty freaked out.  She and most of the town seem to want to find and k-k-destroy whatever it is.” Fluttershy couldn’t make herself say the K word, even if it was about some extra dimensional beast.
“Well I’m sure that is a rampant over reaction,” Discord continued to almost shout, “I’m sure whatever this thing is it means absolutely no harm to anypony.” If that doesn’t get me some good boy points with dear Victor I may just sick the elements on him for real. Hehe, now wouldn’t that be fun…No, better not. Celestia knows how long I’d be statued for if I did.
Fluttershy sighed, “I wish everypony else saw it that way, Discord. If I had just managed to speak up at the town meeting, none of this would be happening…” Discord swooped in before Fluttershy could get too far into her self-loathing.
“Now now my precious Flutters, don’t blame yourself,” Discords eyes widened as he sensed an opportunity arising, “In fact, I think I have the perfect opportunity for you to help remedy this whole situation.”
Fluttershy sniffed, pushing tears back. She always got weepy during…this time of the month, and this whole fiasco wasn’t helping, “W-what do you mean?”
“Weeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllll… how to put this?” Discord puzzled over how to say that at that very moment the extra dimensional beast, which was causing so much chaos in town that Discord would normally be jealous of it, if the situation wasn’t the way it was, was within earshot of Fluttershy.
“Spit it out already, silly!” Fluttershy smiled: Discord was such a hoot as long as he wasn’t causing world shattering chaos every second. Discord smiled back.
“Very well. HCCCCCCKK …PHOOO!” Discord spat a very wet, very angry Angel onto the floor, who shook his paw at the draconeqqus and hopped off. Fluttershy smirked and rolled her eyes, “Oh, not literally. Very well. I…may or may not know where this so called creature is, and may be able to talk it into trusting you enough so you could shelter it. For the time being, at least.” This wiped the smirk right of the pegaus’s face.
“M-m-me? T-take care of it? I- no, Fluttershy, you can do this!” Fluttershy reassured herself, puffing out of her chest. Pinkie shifted slightly in her sleep, reminding the pair that she was still there.
“So you’ll do it, my ever so brave buddy?”
“I’ll do it!” Fluttershy looked around, “So, where is the poor thing?”
A glint flashed through Discords eyes, “Closer than you’d think,” Discord turned around to the stairs, “Oh Victor, come down here!”