It has been a year and some months now, and while the happiness from that day has faded, neither have I become depressed again. I am now at peace with myself. While I have not gotten a job again, I am, however, managing to get by.
I'm sleeping in my room again, instead of in my fathers chair. Maybe I have finally let him go. I have a picture of my mother and father on my bedside table, the last picture of them before their death. Ever since then, I have never travelled by plane again, and was generally afraid of heights. They died in a plane crash. That's why I was so protective of dashie, trying to limit how high she flew, I case she fell.
I walk every morning and evening, right as the sun is rising and setting, hoping to see a sunrise. I walk no matter what the weather is like, if it’s raining, snowing, sleeting, snowing, storming, or shining. It’s relaxing.
It's storming this evening as I walk, but the clouds are directly overhead, so there's the rich and deep purples of the clouds in shadows, with sunlight reaching through in certain areas and painting them a stark white. Then there's the rainbow colored sunset over on the horizon. I'm wet from the rain, but its a warm day, and the sunlight is slightly drying me as I walk. It strikes me of how a beautiful of a day it is. I decide to take my shoes and socks off, and feel the grass beneath my feet. It's a soft, damp and warm blanket of green stalks beneath my feet, tickling my soles.
I reach the top of a hill, and I have a beautiful view of the landscape for miles. I look behind me, and I can see my house with the porch lights on, an island of light amidst the velvety blackness and purple of the clouds. I decide to get home before it starts storming bad, so I turn around and put my shoes on and start walking. I walk for a few miles, in the approaching twilight, the most content that I have been for a while. As I walk along, I see the tree that me and Dashie sat under in a previous storm. I'm less than a fourth of a mile from home now, but something makes me stop. I remember the note that I have, and so I decide to sit under a neighboring tree, and just sit for a while, leaning my back against the trunk. Its rather relaxing, just sitting there, leaning on the tree, with the soft pitter-patter of the rain, the occasional boom of the thunder, and the accompanying flash of light.
I must have dozed off, because the storm has passed now, and the stars are out. The moon is hanging low on the horizon, and the stars are all thrown across the canvas of the sky, painting a picture of white, twinkling dots, set in the black, inky darkness of the void surrounding them. It’s an amazing sight. Then I focus on what's on the ground around me.
There, right in front of me, is me. I look almost faded out, as though I'm seen through a veil of fog. Then I recognize the scene. I look around for what, or who, I know must be there also if what I’m thinking is correct. And I am correct.
There she is. About 5 feet in front of me, is Dashie. She also has that after image look to her. I don’t think about what must be happening to let me see the past, all I’m thinking of is that I am. That i have finally seen her again. I washes over me, that it has been over a year since I last saw my daughter, and tears spring to my eyes.
She walks along towards the other me, and I can see them talking. I try to say something, anything, just trying to make contact with her, through the fabric of time, no matter the concequences, but a force stops my words, leaves them hanging dead in the air, never to be heard of from anyone but me.
I give up, instead I focus all my energy on reaching out a hand to her, to touch her, to feel her mane, to make some sort of physical contact. But whatever is causing me to see this ghostly image is exerting an outwards force against my reaching hand, stopping me. It feels like fast flowing water moving over, under, and through my hand, forcing it back, keeping me out of whatever is happening. I push harder, determined to make contact. Then I seem to break through whatever force is holding me there. I reach out, unimpeded, and touch her mane. The second I do, however, the entire scene fades, and all that I have to show for my effort is a single item...
... a light blue feather...