//------------------------------// // Pandering // Story: Prevention // by Mind Matter //------------------------------// Crack “Oh, I’m sorry…” “No apology is needed, Milady.” Crack “I’ll try to be more gentle…” “You may utilize whatever methods you wish, Milady.” Crack “Just… tell me if you need me to take a break, okay?” “I shall inform you if the pain becomes unbearable, Milady.” Another muted crack followed this exchange as Fluttershy shifted Pip’s legs. Every time, Fluttershy would mumble an apology, and Pip would blandly state his lack of concern. Every single time. Twilight was almost tempted to go back downstairs, but she preferred mild annoyance to whatever Discord might be cooking up to vent his frustration. Plus, everything except the legs was back in proper position, so it wouldn’t be too much longer before the repetitive back-and-forth would end. “Pip, would you mind answering some questions?” Twilight asked. Pip twisted his head as far as he could, attempting to meet Twilight’s eyes. “Of course not, Milady. What do you wish to know?” “Well, everything, if you can do it.” “I shall try, Milady. In the beginning, there was nothing but a ball of matter similar to an egg-“ “No!” Twilight cut him off. “I mean, everything to do with the Revolution.” “As you wish, Milady. The Revolution began in direct response to the rejection of the Equestrian Charter of Equality and Freedom, later to become the Charter of the Pony’s Democratic Republic of Equestria. During a protest in Ponyville against the Charter’s rejection, the Princesses dispatched several groups of guardsponies to suppress the protestors. These guardsponies performed violent actions against the peaceful protestors, including assaulting and causing the deaths of two stallions, one mare, and two fillies, as well as the purposeful murder of your Ladyship’s assistant and confidant Spike the dragon. Your Ladyship heroically expelled the guards from Ponyville following the latter event, and erected a shield around the town to prevent any more governmental aggressions. During several weeks of the shield’s erection, your Ladyship secluded yourself inside of your library, while the ponies outside cleaned and began rebuilding the structures damaged or destroyed by the violence of the guardsponies. After two weeks of study and experimentation, your Ladyship invented a method of necromancy that allowed for the return of the majority of mental faculties to a dead organism, and demonstrated this brilliant invention in your Ladyship’s resurrection of Spike the dragon. Armed with the knowledge that the Princesses had been distorting their views on the world through oppressive laws and media manipulation, as well as directly and deliberately shortening their lives through the control of necromantic magics, the ponies of Ponyville became the first to throw off the shackles of diarchic oppression and declare themselves Revolutionaries. In the week and a half that followed Spike’s resurrection, your Ladyship began training the Revolutionaries into a force that would be able to resist the machinations of the Princesses and their guardsponies.” Twilight and Fluttershy both stared with unblinking eyes as Pip finished his monologue, Fluttershy with her mouth ajar. Pip simply stared back at them both, moving his eye from one to the other every five seconds. “My, that doesn’t sound like Broken’s explanation at all…” Fluttershy finally said. Pip exhaled. “I would imagine not, Milady. Broken Shield suffers from mental damage that has caused his memory to become inaccurate in its recollection of events pertaining to the Revolution. Even if he remembered the true events, I hasten to remind you that he would lie about them without hesitation, in an attempt to cover up the truth and wash the guardsponies of any wrongdoing.” “But what about you?” Twilight asked. Pip blinked. “Milady?” “Well, how do we know that you aren’t lying to make the guardsponies look bad? It’s more than likely that you’re more biased than Broken is.” “I swear to you, Milady, everything I have said to both you and Lady Gaia is true.” Twilight blinked at the familiar name, but filed the question away for later. “How do you know that? Were you present during the riots, did you see the guards attack?” “No, Milady. My parents stayed in the house for the majority of the protests, and ensured I remained as well.” “Then how do you know that you’re telling the truth?” “Your Ladyship stated that the events occurred as such, and your Ladyship has no reason to lie.” One of Twilight’s eyebrows raised. “You’re going by what I-er, what Dawn said? Pip, she’s probably the most biased source that was actually there.” Pip tried to flip over, but an admonishment from Fluttershy stayed him. Still, he appeared to try to draw himself up higher, even upside down. “I cannot allow you to slander yourself, Milady. You are the only unbiased source in Equestria.” “How is Dawn unbiased? She led the Revolution, for Faust’s sake!” “Your Ladyship can only speak the truth. You stated that you were unbiased.” “And how, precisely, can Dawn only speak the truth? Does she have some kind of enchantment that stops her from lying?” “You have never needed to lie, Milady. Truth has belonged to you since the Revolution began. It was your word against the Princesses, and yours was the word that spoke true.” “Whether or not I was telling the truth that one time, that doesn’t mean that I’m always going to be telling the truth! There are plenty of times in my life that I’ve lied, or that others were saying things that were more accurate than I was. The truth doesn’t ‘belong’ to anypony.” “As you say, Milady.” Pip nodded. Twilight brought her hoof up to rub between her eyes. Fluttershy looked between them before speaking. “Um…” “Yes, Milady?” “Well, I was just wondering, um, who is Lady Gaia?” “You are, Milady.” “Oh.” Fluttershy blinked. Twilight kept her eyes on Pip. “Um… why?” “Milady?” “Um, why am I Lady Gaia?” “Lady Gaia is your name, Milady.” “Um, sorry, but it isn’t. My name is Fluttershy.” “And you are to be addressed as Lady Gaia by all ponies not on the Elemental Council in respect for your station as an Element of Harmony, Milady.” “Oh, okay.” “Wait, the Elemental Council?” Twilight asked. Pip turned his eye back to her. “Yes, Milady. The Elemental Council was the official governmental position of the Elements of Harmony, formed to aid in the transition from a tyrannic diarchy to a democratic republic. It was comprised of you, Lady Theia, as well as Lady Gaia, Lady Iris, Lady Cytherea, Lady Thalia, and Lady Tellus.” “There should only be five, shouldn’t there? Applejack was a rebel, wasn’t she?” “For a large amount of time, Lady Tellus was in rebellion against the Revolution, Milady. However, she began to appear on the Council after the second escape of Broken Shield from custody.” “That doesn’t make any sense. Why would she come to the Council at all, presumably in the heart of Dawn’s territory, let alone if Broken had just escaped?” Twilight left the “again” alone. “Your Ladyship stated that, eventually, all rebels would see the futility of their terrorism and recognize the glory of the Revolution. As you always spoke the truth, it makes absolute sense that Lady Tellus would return.” “But I just said that I don’t always tell the truth.” “Yes, Milady, but at the time you had said that you did always tell the truth. As such, you have been entirely truthful in all of your statements up to and presumably including the statement in which you stated that you do not always tell the truth.” Twilight blinked as she attempted to comprehend what Pip had just said. “You’re saying that… everything I’ve said is true… up until I said that I’ve said things that aren’t true?” “Yes, Milady.” “But that would mean that I was lying when I said that I’ve said untrue things, because everything I’ve said before then was true, including saying that everything I say is true, right?” “Yes, Milady.” “But if I was lying when I said that I had lied before, then… but that’s…” Twilight shook her head. “But that’s a false presumption in the first place! I would have been lying when I said that I was always telling the truth.” “As you say, Milady.” “So that means that I wasn’t necessarily telling the truth when I said that ‘all rebels will eventually join the Revolution’ or whatever I said, right?” “Right, Milady.” “Which means that Applejack coming back still doesn’t make any sense, correct?’ “Correct, Milady.” Twilight let out a breath, having gotten through to the blithe pony. “Okay, then. Can you think of any reason why she may have come back?” “You said she would, Milady. At the time, you always spoke the truth. Thus, she could not have not come back, because then you would have been lying, and such an action would have been impossible, because you always spoke the truth.” He watched passively as Twilight’s face slowly melted through a mix of confusion and frustration. “Buh… wha… didn’t I just say that I lied when I said that I always told the truth?!” “You did, Milady.” “You just said that I was always telling the truth!” “Because you were, Milady.” “But I just said I was lying!” “Yes you did, Milady.” “So you acknowledge that I was lying when I said I always told the truth, but you still think everything I said was true?” “Yes, Milady.” “And you don’t see what’s wrong with that line of thinking?!?” “No, Milady.” Pip cocked his head to one side at Twilight’s expression. “Are you well, Milady? Lady Gaia, I would request that you attend to her Ladyship should she require-“ WHAM Fluttershy jumped in surprise as Twilight’s head hit the floor. The unicorn began to grind her skull back and forth along the wood, putting several small grooves into it with her horn. “Twilight, are you-“ “Give me a minute…” the unicorn growled. Fluttershy meeped and nodded, moving back around Pip. It took several minutes for Twilight to stop grinding her head into the floor; long enough for Fluttershy to set Pip’s legs the final time. The stallion flipped onto his hooves at nearly the same time as Twilight brought her head up. Pip walked over to her, slightly unsteady. “Milady, I fear that my explanation may have been inaccurate, and that this inaccuracy may be the cause of your present frustration. Might you allow me to clarify?” Twilight sighed. “If it’s not completely illogical…” “As you wish, Milady. The inaccuracy comes in my claim that your Ladyship never lied; that was not necessarily true, as though your Ladyship was always truthful, you sometimes manipulated your statements in ways that could be constituted as lies. These situations were, of course, to benefit Equestria, and were never used against Equestrian citizens.” “Of course not.” Twilight muttered. Pip didn’t acknowledge the statement. “What would be perhaps more accurate to say is that your Ladyship is never wrong.” “Never wrong.” “Correct, Milady.” “So I could tell lies, but those lies were always accurate anyways?” Pip blinked. “Of course, Milady.” “And I suppose I was the one who said that I was never wrong.” “Yes, Milady.” “And you don’t see anything suspicious about me telling everypony that I was always right? Nothing about that screams ‘mad with power’ to you?” “Of course not, Milady. Lady Cytherea may have gone moderately insane following her sister’s death, but your Ladyship remained a paragon of sanity and rationality even through your grieving and the subsequent Revolution.” “Alright then.” Twilight blinked several times. “Pip, would you be so kind as to go climb that mountain over there, find a nice cliff, and-“ “Twilight!” Fluttershy gasped. Twilight blinked again, turning to her. “I know that you’re frustrated, but please, think about who you’re talking to.” Twilight stared at the pegasus for a few seconds, then turned back to Pip, who continued to stare at her emotionlessly. She thought for a second. “Pip, what would you do if I told you to go jump off a cliff?” “I would endeavour to locate a heightened plateau with an edge far enough from the ground to be called a ‘cliff’, then I would jump off of it.” Twilight blinked at him, this time in surprise rather than frustration. “You… you would jump off, just like that?” “Yes, Milady.” “Why?” Twilight knew the answer, but she still wanted to hear him say it. He didn’t disappoint. “Because you ordered it, Milady.” Twilight simply stared at him. She opened her mouth, but all that came out was a muted squeak. Pip cocked an ear. “Pip, I think Twilight needs to think things over. Could you maybe go downstairs and see if Discord is ready for our picnic?” “Of course, Milady.” Pip promptly marched out the door, leaving Twilight to stare at the lines she had ground into the floor. Fluttershy simply watched the unicorn, allowing her time to sort herself out. “Dear Celestia…” Twilight finally said. Fluttershy moved, her mouth starting to open, but she rested back as Twilight continued. “He’s… I mean, I could tell that he was devoted to me, Dawn must have done something to him, that much is obvious, but he… he didn’t hesitate, he didn’t think, he just told me that he’d kill himself if I told him to…” She coughed, and felt a tear fall down her face. “What kind of monster would turn a pony into that…?” “The kind of monster that you would never be.” Fluttershy said. Twilight turned to her in confusion. “Twilight, look at Broken. Do you think that Shining is responsible for who he is?” “No, of course not, but-“ “Then why do you think that you’re responsible for who Dawn is?” “Because I started the whole Revolution in the first place! If I hadn’t gotten everypony riled up, then everything would still be okay over there!” Fluttershy sighed. “Twilight, I don’t know much about politics, but I know animals really well. It’s in my cutie mark.” She twitched her flank out to the side as if to emphasize her point. “And I’ve seen a few cases where a bear, or a manticore, or another big, scary animal is acting all mean and angry, going around roaring at everything and making all the other animals all scared. And it’s never just because his favourite berry bush was empty that morning. There’s always a buildup, always a whole bunch of things that go wrong and put that bear in a really foul mood, and then one thing that just makes him go over the edge, stops him from calming himself down. But he never gets so angry over one berry bush. Those ponies that Dawn riled up, not you, must have already been really angry. Even before the guardsponies came in, even before she started telling everypony about the Charter, those ponies must have been very angry over something. I don’t know what would make them mad enough to overthrow the Princesses, but it wasn’t just because Dawn started saying mean things about them.” Fluttershy gave a small smile at that, but her smile faded into a worried look as she saw Twilight’s gaping mouth. “Oh, but I don’t mean that you’re wrong, you just need to stop making yourself so sad over things that you can’t have done anything about and I didn’t mean to sound like I was telling you to do anything and ohmygoodness I’m so sorry…” “No, no, Fluttershy, it’s fine! I’m not mad!” Twilight quickly walked over to hug the panicking pegasus. “I just… I’ve never heard you talk like that before.” Fluttershy took in several breaths. “Th-thanks, Twilight. Discord’s been helping me learn to make big speeches like that. I think I might be ready to start thinking about maybe talking to ponies about not disturbing the wildlife in the Everfree Forest if they ever decide to go in or near it.” Twilight nodded, laughing. “Well, if you ever need help with what to say, just send me a message, alright?” Fluttershy laughed at this as well, and the two friends took a moment to forget the recent tumult of their life to simply laugh at something that really didn’t need to be laughed at. For the briefest time, Twilight put Pip and Broken and Dawn away, and found herself with a clear mind for the first time in several weeks. Then the door swung quickly inwards, allowing entrance to a one-eyed stallion. “Your Ladyship, there are several armoured ponies marching up the road. They appear to be holding a prisoner, and one of them bears Captain’s plumage.” Twilight turned to face Pip as he spoke. “Guardsponies? Why would they- wait, Captain’s plumage? A prisoner?!” Her horn glowed, and she teleported down to just outside the door of the cottage. Several gilded ponies were making their way up the road from Ponyville, two struggling with a heavy load, the one in front with a blue-fur-crested helmet. She ran down the road to meet them, soon hearing two ponies following her. The guards stopped as they noticed her approach, the one in front taking a few steps away from the main group. He removed his helmet as she approached, allowing Twilight to see Broken’s face – before it was scarred and with both eyes present. “Twilight!” Shining called. The unicorn mare slowed slightly as she got closer to him, allowing Pip and Fluttershy to catch up. Soon, the guard captain stood only feet away from the group. “Shining! What are you doing here?” Twilight asked. Shining barked a laugh in a way that reminded Twilight too much of Broken. “Well, we had come down to see you when we received reports that there was an altercation earlier in the day that involved a pony suspiciously similar to my appearance. After checking with the rest of your friends, I figured that Fluttershy’s was the most likely place for you to be. We found him-“ he nodded back to the load, which from up close appeared to be a pony in a large sack with several ropes tied around him “-on the way here. He was… eating… a manticore.” Twilight blanched, and she heard Fluttershy emit a small scream. Fortunately, the pegasus remained upright. “Dear Celestia…” “Yeah, actually, she wanted to talk to you.” It took Twilight a few seconds to process his statement. “…she did? Are you down here because she ordered you to get me?” “No, actually, I’m down here because she came down here, and-“ “PRINCESS CELESTIA IS IN PONYVILLE?!?” Twilight roared. Without thinking, her horn glowed, and she was quickly back in her library. She turned around, and was immediately greeted with a faceful of white feathers. “Oh, hello, Twilight.” Princess Celestia said, smiling and turning to face her student. “I was just thinking about you.”