CENTRAL PLOT: Cherry is taking an "impromptu vacation" (aka running away) to get his head together, having been exposed to a godawful lot of screwy crap. He ends up learning something about relaxation and mysticism from the Salvation Springs tribals, and saves a lot of people into the bargain.
[NEW BRAYNAN: founded by the Brahmin Prophet "Blackie" in a ruined section of Oxpen, Ewetah, its first settlers coming from the ruins of Salt Lick City. Later joined by Buffalo tribals and then Brahmin and Sheep refugees from across Equestria. Ideals are isolationism, hard work, thriftiness and mutual respect. They have a well-trained militia which has been able to hold against all comers so far, run by a Badass Sheep named Commander Shepherd. If they have a weak link, it's that the sole major source of water in the area, Salvation Springs, runs down from the hills and can't be wholly secured. The town is entirely made of wood-and-adobe construction, clay bricks reinforced with straw.]
[Iron Maiden's "Run to the Hills": an NCR attack on local tribals, trying to drive them away and take their wells for further operations. The NCR and Herd are both trying to annex the New Braynan area; whichever succeeds will have a strategic flank against the other, with water supplies sufficient for a large force. No place else in the region has enough to support more than a company, so most of the fights are meeting engagements between small forces.]
[NCR: headed by Colonel Golden Apple Custard, a Sneering Imperialist. He considers New Braynan to be just a step above "tribal" status regardless of its strategic importance.]
[Herd: Frumentarii Ferus Cincinnatus (essentially Ulysses - a wordplay on Ulysses S. Grant's favorite horse, Cincinnati) is exploiting the NCR's excesses to recruit the tribals. The tribals mostly aren't biting and his overall efforts have stagnated, leading him to consider all-out genocide instead. He is willing to dump barrels of Flux and reactor waste into the wells, if for no other reason than to deny them to the NCR.]
COMMANDER SHEPHERD
(played by a goat with a banjo, backed up by a buffalo on bongos)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiRDJLcYua0
From New Pegas' bars
To Manehattan or the N-C-R,
From the gates of this place
To the temples of Celestial grace,
There are trash-talkin' Minotaurs lackin' in humility,
Griffin gals a-braggin’ 'bout their reach and flexibility,
And Red-Eye's ruins hide beneath a cover of smog.
But no matter what flag you wear,
The burdens that you might bear,
You can fight like a Hydra, enchant like a Wizard
But you’ll never be better than Commander Shepherd!
Oh!
Deep in Canterlot's halls
Beneath all the crumbling walls
There's a Dragon down there
Puffing out the poisonous air
Arcane Science, went and got its own Ministry
Searchin' for a way to re-create a new Divinity
But one Ram holds every Ewe enthralled
But no matter what flag you wear,
The burdens that you might bear,
You can fight like a Hydra, enchant like a Wizard
But you’ll never be better than Commander Shepherd!
[Broken-Throat's Chorus:]
COMMANDER SHEPHERD! (x8)
No matter what flag you wear,
The burdens that you might bear,
You can fight like a Hydra, enchant like a Wizard
But you’ll never be better than Commander Shepherd!
(Soldiers)
You can fight like a Hydra, enchant like a Wizard
But you’ll never be better than Commander Shepherd!
(Bard and Soldiers)
You can fight like a Hydra, enchant like a Wizard
But you’ll never be better than Commander Shepherd!
(Goat Bard)
Never be better than Commander Shepherd!
Never be better than Commander Shepherd!
Yeah!
[Shepherd appears on the wall. The song abruptly stops, the militia snaps to attention: "Captain Bar None, you stand relieved. I am assuming control."]
[WIDOW-MAKER Radio Song (to the tune of "Pecos Bill")]
Widow-Maker was a stallion out of Phoenix
And the Western super-colt, to say the least
He was the roughest, toughest critter
Never known to be a quitter
With the meanest set of teeth on any beast!
So yippee-i-ay-i-ay, yippee-i-o
For the toughest critter west of the Old Rio!
Widow-Maker roped a death-wind from the wastelands,
And dragged it off to settle scores with raider gangs.
So after radiation cooked 'em,
And the dragon-thunder spooked 'em,
Then his minefield ended whimpers with a bang!
So yippee-i-ay-i-ay, yippee-i-o
For the toughest critter west of the Old Rio!
When the Palomino Desert got to spreadin',
Off to frozen Unicornia, he did go
Subjected tundra to erasure,
Trottin' back with a whole glacier!
That's the way we got Mount Morgan, don'cha know?
So yippee-i-ay-i-ay, yippee-i-o
For the toughest critter west of the Old Rio!
Once a gang of raiders lynched a herd of brahmin,
But what came after were some bitter pills.
When Widow-Maker caught those villains,
Well, he bucked out all their fillin's!
Now we call that mound of graves the Colgate Hills!
So yippee-i-ay-i-ay, yippee-i-o
For the toughest critter west of the Old Rio!
Widow-Maker lost his way out in the desert...
(Water!)
He was going 'round and round in giant rings...
(Water!)
He knew he'd never make New Braynan...
(Water!)
So he found a rusty tin can...
And he dug the wells they call Salvation Springs!
When a bunch of painted tribals did a war-dance
Widow-Maker shot to hell their little game.
The blood that ran into the river
Made a torrent from that sliver,
And that's how the "Coltorado" got its name!*
While reclining on a cloud, high over Phoenix
With his guns, he nailed a star with ev'ry shot!
But filled with guilt at their declining,
He left one there, brightly shining,
For the filly that he loved in Canterlot!
So yippee-i-ay-i-ay, yippee-i-o
For the filly that he loved in Can-ter-lot!
* Colorado is of Spanish origin, meaning "colored red."
[SUBPLOT: A band of Renegade Survivors (Zebra splinter faction) explain to Cherry what his destiny is. He spits on it, but it's out there...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6hHaIxOsmk
All at stake!
Oh, yeah yeah yeah, pone!
All at stake!
My destiny is clear...
Can't give up, it all depends on you
Can't give up (on a quest!)
Can't give up, it all depends on you
Can't give up
I'm a Renegade Survivor
A new-age warrior
And I'm trotting de universe
Searching for the future (Oh yes!)
I'm a Renegade Survivor
A new-age warrior
And I'm trotting de universe (Oh, now!)
Searching for the future
What is out there, I don't know
But I've got to hide my fears
Danger lies along the way
But my will to survive is dear
Hunted by de evil ones
And I'm chased by my enemy
Like refugees and castaways
In a hostile environment
Oh yes!
I'm a Renegade Survivor
A new-age warrior
Trotting de universe (Oh yes!)
Searching for the future
Look at that, oh yes!
I'm a Renegade Survivor
A new-age warrior (Whoa, now!)
And I'm trotting de universe (On a quest!)
Searching for the future
Now you knew to call your friends
For survival is the key (Be careful!)
Your mission is to find a way
And defeat them at their game
Oh, now!
Hunted by de evil ones
And I'm chased by my enemies
Like refugees, I'm cast away
In a hostile environment
Whoa yes!
I'm a Renegade Survivor (On a quest!)
A new-age warrior (My destiny revealed!)
And I'm trotting de universe (Whoa yes, now!)
Searching for the future (Oh yes!)
I'm a Renegade Survivor (All is at stake!)
A new-age warrior (My destiny ahead!)
And I'm trotting de universe (On a quest!)
Searching for the future
Can't give up it all depends on you
Can't give up (on a quest!)
Can't give up it all depends on you
Can't give up
[Chorus till fade]