"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" I screamed.
"Please! C-calm down! You're fine!" Fluttershy attempted to console me.
"Y-YEAH. I'M PERFECTLY FINE!"
"Okay, maybe not. Now breathe."
"I'M FINE!"
"Breathe!"
With her fore-hooves, she forced my head to look at her while emphasizing the fact that I needed to respire. While I had no idea how she got so good at confronting someone as panicked as I, I took her advice and breathed hugely several times.
"Alright, I'm not fine." Two more gulps of air.
"No, you're fine now."
"No I'm not." One big inhale.
"Yes you are."
"...Wow. I feel better."
She placed me back on the bed I fell off of a minute before. "Good," she said with a squee-smile, "I'm horribly sorry for scaring you off my bed."
"...Yeah. I counted. 40x sorry. And that, my dear, makes you one sorry pony." I said, rubbing my eyes in the sunlight.
"What?"
"Just from my head. I swear... I have no glasses."
This required explanation. I perked my head up and looked at Fluttershy. "Why don't I have glasses?"
"I don't know. Do you need them?"
"Apparently not. 20-20 vision is not something I inherited from my mother."
"Oh. I'm sorry..."
"Nah. Don't be. Couldn't have asked for better parents. Anyway..." I started to go into something else, but then my face just overrode it with a pitiable look of confusion.
"Oh! Mr. Alligator carried you out of the Everfree... Along with a very, very full suitcase. Could that be yours?"
"Suitcase?" My eyebrows (or lack thereof) skewed as I got up and attempted to make my way out of the bedroom. It was a somewhat unsteady trot, but I made it to the point where I was looking down the staircase.
"Oh, mister! Don't go down there yet! The animals aren't ready to meet you!"
"Don't worry about me! I'm able to talk with gators!" I said with too much confidence and a grin, and quickly trotted down the stairs.
Fluttershy let out another squeak as Angel kicked my cute lil' pony tooshy six ways from Sunday, right after I said "hi" to him in a friendly manner. All that happened before I could reach the front door to check the suitcase and take my leave (saying a sincere thanks to the element of kindness, of course).
"...I tried to warn you..." She explained, removing her rabbit from my conquered head and placing him on her's. "...Are you okay?"
"Oh, I'll take the mozzarella cheese sticks too, thanks."
"Oh, I don't know what you're talking about, but there's a restaurant two blocks down from the park..."
A cowbell sound rang as I shook the blunt-force-induced derp from my head. "What? No. I'm fine. Can I go get the suitcase?"
"Yeah, I'm okay with that, but... I think you'd like to know... Everypony can talk to animals, I've just got a talent for..."
"I know that, but it's still awesome! Goodbye, Fluttershy! Thanks for letting me crash for the night!" I trotted out with a spring and a wobble in my step.
I think I heard something like "Wait! How did you know my name?", but I'm no expert. I was already trotting away and into Ponyville itself.
Mental note, of course: As an introvert, I need to make sure Pinkie does not hold a major social gathering in celebration of my arrival.
I always feel awkward at parties.
It was a humble brown, plastic-y suitcase that bulged out a bit in the middle. A single white tag laid by the handle, which read:
Property of
HaroldScribblescratch
Below it was a note taped on the side.
I don't think you would want to leave the house without the bedding from your bed, so I took my old suitcase and filled it up with your stuff.
...Sure it's old, but I never did use it too much. Being an Alligator, I don't often travel far, and never did before except for higher education... Thus why I can write to you now.You were very nice and considerate to me, little pony! Please feel free to stop by my creek whenever you like. I always enjoy company, warm-blooded or otherwise.
Regards,
Harold
"...I'll consider it, Harold, but I'm not particularly eager to go back into the Everfree. ...Nasty place full of creepy-crawlies and horrible animals that love to frolic and play in there."
I placed the suitcase firmly on my back and walked slowly to Ponyville, more out of leisure than of uncertainty about my balance.
The long trot gave me plenty to think about, but my mind was most focused on two things: How to get home, and how to get a job in the meantime of figuring that out.
I had read enough fan-fiction to tell that the general consensus among bronies was that the Alicorn patriarchs were the best bet for getting a big amount of magic, which could potentially create a dimensional portal to get me back home, with enough magic to transform me back afterwards.
I briefly thought about how I was glad to not have a long-term relationship to have ruined by time missing, like in Castaway.
But I digress, I thought. I decided I might need a plan B, in case this was not true. Logically, I'd have to go to Twilight so she could figure out some sort of magic that could do what I wished, as in get me home as a human, and could be cast by multiple unicorns of any skill level. This in turn would allow the princesses to combine their huge amounts of magic, plus whatever unicorns are needed to create what I needed.
But what if that doesn't work?
Plan C: Live in Equestria.
That both sent a pang of sorrow for not being able to see family, and a strange wonder at the prospect.
Where would I live?
What would I do as my living?
Who would I find to love?
How many kids would we have?
Please, no more than 3.
I looked up to suddenly find myself in Ponyville. Right on the edge. My obliviousness was thankfully low at the moment.
I stared in awe at the bustling little town. Mares setting up stalls and shopping, Stalions building, fixing, and working on things, fillies and colts playing in the streets, and WOAH THERE PINKIE!
Pinkie had me lifted off the ground in a strong and tight hug without my consent or objection, making it a perfectly delivered display of affection.
(I could tell she had lots of practice with hugs, because despite the sudden and extreme manner of the embrace, it was not constricting in the slightest.)
"Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! What's your name?" She said in a subdued manner after putting me down.
"Scribblescratch. ...Don't you usually ask for a name, then hug?"
"I felt like mixing it up for today!" Pinkie said with a flourishing bounce.
"Okay then. Can I ask you something el-"
"About the party? I'm not making one for you, because something tells me you're the kind of pony who wouldn't like that sorta thing as much as other ponies... Kinda like Fluttershy! 'Cept not as much!"
"'Introversion' is the word you're looking for."
"Intransform? What's that?"
"Intro- Never mind. So, what will you do instead?"
"Close your eyes!"
I did.
"Hold out your hooves!"
I did that too. Something fresh-baked and sweet smelling landed in them.
"Open 'em!" She said with a giggle.
When I did that, there in my hooves was the most delicious looking loaf of cinnamon bread I had ever seen. It's smooth crust shined and sparkled as though it was glazed, and the smell seemed to head directly into my nose, overwhelming me in all the good ways.
"That's on Sugarcube Corner, friend!" She said with an infectious smile and tone of voice.
Like everyone else who first met Pinkie, I couldn't help but smile too. "Wow... That was really generous of you. Thanks!"
Another giggle. "Aww, I just like helping friends, that's all-"
At that moment, right in the middle of the square, Pinkie Pie's hair fell straight, for the first time in public viewing. I was confused as to what provoked it, but even though I had little emotional attachment to the pink earth pony before, I desperately wanted to know.
"...I read something while hanging out at Twilight's library the other day... You're a lost soul, aren't you?"
I awkwardly sat on a nearby bench, cradling the fresh baked loaf. "...Care to elaborate?"
"Lost souls arrived in Equestria, in the very beds they slept in. Hardly a bit to their name, not sure where they went, and knowing little or even nothing about the world they came to... So the ancient Equestrian myth goes." Twilight had trotted up to Pinkie, being the most concerned member of the crowd to ever see the earth pony's mane deflate.
"...That happened to me. What else?!"
"There are many variations to the myth, Including that the power of their dreams sends them over, but one thing stays consistent: Equestria never knows enough about the soul's species to return them to normal form, nor about the origin of the soul to send them home."
Even a war-hardened guy would have shed tears at this point: My hope was crushed brutally under the fact that Equestrian myth was usually plausible... At least, in my mind. ...But that wasn't what I was so worried about.
In response, the bookish unicorn fidgeted in place as she tried to calm me. "No no no no no no no! I didn't mean anything! It's just a myth! I'm so sorry, please don't cry!"
Not working Twi. Your face is contorted with worry.
I squeezed the bread harder, looking at my back hooves as I did so. "Don't you think Pinkie's got a bit of a point?"
They exchanged a look. Twilight trusted Pinkie's intuition ever since she helped her escape from a hydra. There was no reason she'd be wrong at this moment either.
Twilight gave her friend a hug and trotted off, stopping a ways back to give me a parting glance of concern. With that, Pinkie turned back towards me and looked me in the eyes.
Pinkie never struck me as a pony with a lot of depth to her, but one glance into those eyes, wells of empathy and sorrow at the moment, showed me that she was not certain she could make me smile again.
"Did you try the bread yet?"
I took a nibble off the corner, not really hungry after hearing the shocking news. "It's good."
She graced me with a light smile. "Thank you."
I gave her a forlorn nod.
"...Ponyville is a very nice place. I'm sure if you ask somepony, they'll let you stay for the night. My hosts, Mr. and Mrs. Cake will be fine with it."
"...Thanks for the offer. I'll let you know, I guess..."
Pinkie looked in the direction where Twilight went, gave me a parting hug, and trotted away after her.
...Tears freely flowed down my face as I ate the cinnamon loaf as fast as I could. I didn't know it would become comfort food so fast.