//------------------------------// // Supply and Demand // Story: Friendship VS Machine // by FrostyDawn //------------------------------// The sun was setting, and soon enough, the mercenaries decided to call it a night. However, with the company of their 'guests,' they had to pull out some extra mattresses and blankets. To be honest, the Spy had the most trouble. "I am not sleeping on that." Rarity said, turning her nose into the air. "What? It's just a mattress." The Spy said, emptying his suit pockets. "That's exactly the problem! I refuse to sleep on something so... uncouth! Look at it! It's worn at the edges, there's a spring sticking out the side, and it reeks of... I don't even want to know!" She said, repulsed. "Well, would you prefer to zleep on ze ground? I'm zure bedbugs are attracted to whiny fools like yourself!" "Whining? This is not whining! I'll show you whining!" Rarity said, preparing something the Spy would regret dearly. "This room is too cold! I'm freezing! It smells, too! What have you been doing in here? Burning tires?" She cried, in the most annoying voice she could muster. "Ugh! And these sheets! They're the dirtiest things I've ever seen! Ever heard of a washing machine? This is literally the worst POSSIBLE thing! The Spy gritted his teeth and clenched his forehead. "Zilence! I'll do as you zay, just zhut up!" He yelled, slamming his fist on his desk. Rarity flinched, and then crossed her arms. "You know, I liked you the first time around..." she said, intending it to be a thought. "What are you talking about? I've treated you the zame way I have zince you arrived." The Spy said, glancing back at her. She widened her eyes. "Did I say that aloud?" "Yes... In fact, you acted like we've met before..." The Spy said, his curiosity spiking. "What are you getting at?" Rarity sighed. "Fine, if you insist. Back in my home, I met someone who looked exactly like you. He was so charming, and seemed so gallant. But... he murdered someone. A teammate of yours, apparently. And someone who Fluttershy was so close to... and I was mortified that I trusted a lair. A killer." Rarity explained, glancing at the floor. The Spy's expression loosened up as he listened to her story. He scratched his chin. "Tell me... did zhis man change color when he killed zhis friend of 'Fluttershy'?" "Well... I think Fluttershy mentioned he turned blue when it happened. Why do you ask?" Rarity said, sitting on the Spy's mattress. The Spy paused, then spoke. "The man you trusted was the BLU Spy. He works just like me. Kills just like me. He was doing his job. He killed one of us, like we were doing before you got involved." Rarity sighed. She looked back up to the Spy. "Well... that seems a bit more logical. But I-" "Look. Just zleep on it. You'll make zense of it zometime." The Spy continued. "I'm... Rarity, by the way." She said, holding her hand out, hopeful. "Charmed." He said, shaking it. "I'd tell you my name, but zhat would ruin ze point of being a Spy." Rarity's hopefulness faded a little. "Oh... alright." She said, slipping under the mattress's covers, and closing her eyes. <><><><><><><><><><><><> The next morning... Morning had broke, and the Pyro had awoken from his slumber. Nobody knew why the Pyro slept in his asbestos lined suit, probably because he never took it off. This sparked a lot of theories. The Medic guessed that all the fire exposure melted the suit's lining, fusing it to his skin and rendering it impossible to remove. The Scout thought his face was so horribly burned, that he refused to take off his suit, afraid he would be so repulsively ugly, no one would even come close to him. The Soldier often came up with the wildest ideas. Thoughts that the Pyro was something else under his suit. Something he kept secret. The Solider wondered if he was even human. An alien, a genetic experiment gone wrong, or a ravenous demon who just loved to burn things. The other mercenaries passed the Soldier off as the crazy one, each having their own opinions and theories toward the matter. But no matter what they thought, they never asked the Pyro anyway, and even if they did, they wouldn't know if he was telling the truth. Anyway, the Pyro awoke and looked down at the floor. Derpy rested on the mattress he supplied, peacefully sleeping with a muffin at her side. The Pyro opened his bedroom door, which made a slight clunk noise as the door hit something. The quiet mercenary looked down, seeing a small wooden crate. It was bound in a thick metal chain, with a padlock holding it together. The Pyro picked the box up, and headed for the briefing room, where the other mercenaries, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash sat, in their groggy, morning states. The Pyro set the box on the table, for all to see. "What's that?" Rainbow Dash asked. "A Mann Co. Crate. They toss one down here every once in a while." The Sniper replied, taking a sip of coffee that red '#1 Sniper' in big red print. "What exactly is inside?" Rainbow Dash again. "No one knows. Could be a weapon, maybe a hat. You never really know 'till ya open it." The Scout said, chewing on a bagel. "Well, what's stoppin' us? We'll smash it open!" Rainbow said, picking up the box and throwing it hard against the ground. Despite the impact, the crate didn't even scratch. "Good luck. Crate does not break. Does not burn. Only way to open is to use key." Heavy said. "A key like these?" Pinkie asked holding up three golden keys. "How did you... get zhose?" The Medic asked, dumbfounded. "I found one in the bathroom sink. The next one was in one of those bottles the Demo has. And this last one was stuck in that big gun you have." Pinkie said, shrugging. "Key was in Sasha? Why was pink one looking there?" The Heavy asked, raising an eyebrow. "Who cares! Let's open this thing up! We'll even pick some of the others out, too." The Scout said, yanking a key out of Pinkie's grasp. He pushed the key into the lock, twisting it, causing the chain to fall off. The Scout opened the lid, and pulled out it's contents. It was a simple gold-plated pocket watch. The Spy smirked. "Magnifique. I'll make good use of zhis." he said, tucking it away into a pocket his coat pocket. The Engie went to a closet, crammed with more crates. "Ah got a good feeling 'bout this one." He said, grabbing another key. He opened the lock, and peeled the lid open, revealing a prosthetic robot hand. "Heeyah! Ah knew it!" The Engie cheered. He then passed it to Applejack. "Hold on to this, AJ. Ah'll teach ya how to use it, later." The Engie said. "Great. Not a single hat in weeks! I'm starting to get desperate." The Scout grumbled. "What's the big deal about hats 'round here?" Applejack asked. It seemed to be a stupid question, because every mercenary just stared at her. "Big deal? We'll see how big a deal it is when Saxton Hale himself crams his fist down your throat!" The Soldier yelled, advancing on the girl. "Calm down, Soldier. Zhe doesn't know about it." The Medic replied, holding him back. "Now, zince you asked, Saxton Hale really likes hats. He likes hats zo much, ze rarer hats ve get, ze more Saxton funds our team. Back vhen ve vere fighting ze BLUs, it was rather important." The Medic explained. "Alright, we got one more key. Let's hope we're lucky." The Sniper said, picking up the final key. He wandered over to the closet, and pulled out one last crate. He propped it up on the table, and readied the key. "Cross yer fingers, mates." he said, pulling the padlock off the box. As he opened the crate, and pulled out what was inside, the mercenaries let out a collective gasp. "Mon dieu..." The Spy whispered, his cigarette falling from his mouth. The item that hat the mercenaries in awe was, in fact, a hat. A pointed wizard hat, with a buckle over the brim. As if that wasn't enough, the hat radiated with small beams of light, like a miniature sun was glowing behind it. "Yeah! Finally a hat! And it's unusual..." Scout said, whispering the last part. "Wonderful work, men! Now, I'll just take my hat for a spin and-" The Soldier grinned, pulling the pointed hat from the Sniper's hands. "Wait one second, soldier boy! Who said it's yours?" The Engie growled. "да. If anything, it is Heavy's hat. Heavy is biggest. Heavy is strongest." The russian argued. "Schweinhund! You vould be useless vithout me! Ze hat is mine!" The Medic returned. The Sniper took it back from the Soldier's hands. "Keep your lederhosen on, doc. You wankas don't deserve a hat like this. I'm gonna treat this thing with class." "Class? Please! You keep you're own bladder drippings in a jar and live in a van! You all disgust me..." The Spy said, taking it from the Sniper. "Mpmpmh mpmhpm, mpmhp mphm? Phmphghmp Vmpmgh!" The Pyro mumbled, gesturing his hands. The other classes just stared. "I think it's trying to communicate with us." The Demoman said condesendingly. "Anyways... all ya soft skulled lassies are a sorry bunch a' losers if ya think yer walking away with this..." he said, brandishing his bottle. A heated argument took place amongst the groups, creating an uproar in the briefing room. The other girls soon entered, upon hearing the shouting. "What is all the noise about?" Spike asked, rubbing his eyes. Applejack gestured toward the mercenaries, letting it speak for itself. "You are all schtupid!" "Say that again, you sonuva bitch! Ah ain't playing games, here!" "No, seriously, you all suck!" "They've been arguing about some stupid hat! It's crazy!" Rainbow Dash said, rolling her eyes. Twilight attempted to quell the chaos. "Hey! Quiet down!" she cried, but no one listened. "Mppm! Vgmhmp hmp!" "Bah! Too many little men on this team!" "Keep yabbin' that big mouth, while it's still attached to your bloody neck!" "Listen!" Twilight yelled louder, but still no avail. "You are all incompetent cowards!" "I am going to mail my foot back to your mama, with your ass wrapped around it!" "Thankfully I already don't remember this...(belch)" BLAM! The sound of a shotgun firing made all the mercenaries quiet and look at the source of the sound, Pinkie Pie, unloading a few bullets into the ceiling. "Twilight?" she asked, reloading the gun. "Uh... thanks, Pinkie." Twilight said. "All of this fuss is over a hat?" She asked, in her 'lecturing' voice. "Not just any hat! It's unusual! See, it's glowing!" The Scout said, reaching toward it. Twilight pulled the hat away. "I don't care! You shouldn't be fighting over something so trivial! You're all friends, right?" A long silence. "Right?" Twilight asked again, with less seriousness. The speakers rang out as the Administrator spoke. "Another wave of robots is upon us..." The Soldier quickly offered his own solution. "Ok, I got an idea. Last one alive out there gets the hat." The other classes shrugged all agreeing to the thought. "Then it's a pact!" The Soldier said happily, putting his hand in the middle. The others put their hand in the center, and nodded. "Uh, shouldn't ya'll be ready to fight?" Applejack said. The Engineer turned around. "Oh, right. Follow me, AJ." He said, picking up the robot hand.