//------------------------------// // The Return // Story: For Friendship, You Monster // by grox //------------------------------// Chapter Three - The Return Celestia levitated the radio down and - in exchange - levitated Rick up. She walked to the door, but was startled by the sound of the lock clicking, and the voice of Twilight Sparkle. "HAHA! You have fallen into my obvious trap! if I had known that you were this stupid, I could have just dangled an apple from the ceiling. Most subjects come out of suspension terribly malnourished, especially after testing like you did. Congratulations on packing on a few pounds." The floor opened below her hooves, and Celestia fell, still holding Rick . Her wings beat maniacally, but the air whistled through her feathers, and her speed remained unhindered. She landed in a blue funnel made out a liquid-like energy. The funnel trapped her and moved her to a huge round sphere that floated around in the empty space. A door opened in front of them, and the funnel forced her inside. Once inside, Celestia saw the big metal body of the core that called herself Twilight. "Ah, you are here. I see you made a little friend." Twilight looked at Rick. "Well, I don't mind. You're the one who told me to make friends." She said with a chuckle. "Look at those cores," Rick whispered to Celestia, "we've gotta remove them." "I'm not deaf, you stupid ball." Celestia looked at the five cores that hang on Twilight's metallic body. "Oh no no no no no don't even think about it!" Twilight panicked. Celestia smiled deviously and shot two portals, one on the wall and one on the ceiling. She galloped through the portal and flung herself at Twilight. On her way past, she managed to bite one of the cores. it was a soft voiced core with a yellow eye. "Uh...lady...would you...please...put me back in? Bad things will...uh...happen if am not...with her." The core said, with a shy tone that reminded Celestia of somepony. "Yeah, now crush it!" Rick said with a sadistic voice. Celestia dropped the core and crushed it with her hooves. The core screamed in agony as Celestia's hooves colided with it. "Central core corrupted at 20%." The voice of the announcer said. "Are you happy now? You just murdered an innocent core! YOU MONSTER!" Twilight yelled, with a slightly changed voice. "You're going to android hell." Celestia heard the sound of pipes and wires connecting to the floating room and the room began slowly filling with a blue gas. "By the way that core you killed? I plugged it in because it stopped me from filling a room with deadly poisonjoke gas while I was filling a room with deadly poisonjoke gas. No need to go anywhere, just sit tight while I warm up the joke emitters." A screen popped out of the wall with a timer that started counting down from five minutes. "I'm going to kill you, and all the cake is gone, and the laughter core will get sad, because you can't come to her party because you'll be dead." Celestia placed the portals on the other side of the wall. "You don't even care, do you? You heartless, selfish, fat, fatflank." Celestia galloped trough the portals and flung herself again. This time she bit a core with an orange eye. "Well howdy dowdy, Princess. You look mighty tired, and ah don't lie." When Celestia landed, something else fell off of Twilight's mechanical body. The robot peered down at it, ignoring Celestia for a few moments. "Hey, time out. What is that? That's not a core. I don't even know what that does. Do you? Let's be honest," "Ah already am." The core in Celestia's mouth whispered. "Neither of us knows what this thing does. Fatflank, would you mind stuffing that in a corner or something? I'll deal with it later." Celestia spit out the orange-eyed core and destroyed it, ignoring Twilight's request. "Central core corrupted at 40%." Something exploded on Twilight's body and a core fell off. "Oh good. More stuff falling from me." Celestia galloped to the fallen core. This core had a light blue eye, and it surveyed her when she picked it up with her magic. "Oh my, darling, you look simply horrible in that jumpsuit. It makes you look quite...uh...bulky." "See? Even the generosity core thinks you're fat." Twilight laughed. "Enough! I AM NOT FAT!!!" Celestia screamed from the built-up anger. She raised her forehooves and smashed the core with a satisfying CRUSH. "Central core corrupted at 60%." The voice of Twilight changed from slightly robotic to a more soft but creepier voice. "You know what you are. You are a lazy pony that sent six ponies to fight your own sister, a dragon and the spirit of chaos," two robot hands came out of the wall and grabbed Celestia, wrapping their shining claws around her body. Twilight lifted Celestia up so the two were face to face. "And what were you doing when we where fighting evil? Sitting on your throne, on your fat flank, laughing while drinking some fancy drink?" Twilight hissed. The claws tightend their grip on Celestia, and she felt some of her ribs brake. "Oh, I'm sorry. Did that hurt? Yes? Good! The thing is, I still am your friend." Celestia lifted an eyebrow. "Have I ever lied to you... I mean, in this room?" Celestia simply shot another set of portals. "Maybe you should marry that gun if you love it so much. Do you want to marry it? WELL I WON'T LET YOU! How does that feel? Does it feel mean? Good!" A pink-eyed core lit up on Twilight's body. "Hey! How is the poisonjoke deadly anyway?" "You're on my side!" "Yeah. I know. Hey, is that a portal? What's that noise? Do you smell something burning? Oh, look at that thing! No, that other thing! Oh! You're the pony from the tests! Oatmeal!" "Laughter core! Be quiet!" "You know, Twilight, you're a meany pants. I'm leaving." With that, the pink eyed core ejected itself from the body. "Caaatch meeee haha!" The core yelled with joy. It fell on the ground, imploding from the fall. "Connection lost with core 42. Warning! Central core corrupted at 80%." "Alternate core detected." "That's me they're talking about! I'm famous." Rick said. "To initiate a core transfer, please deposit substitute core in the receptacle." "A core transfer," Twilight gasped. "NO! STOP! I forbid you to do that!" An odd twig of machinery slid out of the ground, stopping just above the floor. Rick rolled around in his metal shell to propel himself to the receptacle. Celestia felt the effects of the poisonjoke, becoming sleepy, and seeing her fur and mane becoming pink. Rick managed to plug himself into the core receptacle with a happy yell. "Does the substitute core agree to the transfer?" "Yes!" Rick yelled. "Yes!" "Does the installed core agree to the transfer?" "No! No I don't!" "Oh, yes she does." Rick added. "Stalemate detected. A stalemate resolution associate is needed to resolve the stalemate." A button appeared in a small room behind Twilight. Twilight dropped Celestia from surprise. Celestia quickly portaled into the room behind the stunned Twilight. "Don't. You. Dare." The unicorn's core hissed. "You aren't even qualified to press that button. You'll get arrested. Let's think this through, survey your choices. You can attempt to transfer cores, which - judging by the age of this place - probably won't work anyway, and die from refined poisonjoke. Or, you can put down the gun, step away from the button, lie down, and surrender. I won't kill you, and we can just keep going on testing like nothing happened. Okay?" Celestia's head spun, and she collapsed. Her vision filled with black dots, and whatever she could see around them blurred into a rainbow mush. She let out a loud groan, her mane almost entirely pink and the last spots on her flank doing the same. "Oh, you've got to be joking." Twilight growled. "Just when we start doing something important." Somehow, Celestia staggered to her feet, knees trembling. With a desperate, wobbling wing, she managed to hit the button. The poisonjoke emitters sealed off, disconnected, and retracted into the roof. Twilight's metallic core would have had it's mouth gaping open if it had one. Rick descended into the ground. "This is going to hurt, isn't it?" Rick asked. "Oh, it's going to hurt. It's really going to hurt." Twilight liked the thought of injuring Rick. "It is going to hurt? Awesome! This is going to be cool!" Rick exclaimed, before disappearing into the ground. An hole opened under the body of Twilight, revealing small robotic arms with sharp claws. Celestia finally passed out from the effects of the poisonjoke and the last thing she heard was a horrified scream from Twilight. ----- Rick was put into the mechanical body, and was in control of the whole facility. He grabbed the Twilight core and held her before him. "And who's the boss now, eh? Who's the boss? I am." "I hate you so much... if... my friends were here, th...," Twilight didn't finish her sentence. "My... friends? M-m-my friends," she said slowly, as if she had never said the words before. "What are... friends?" Rick ignored her and shifted his look to the passed-out pony. "You and I are going to have a little adventure." He said with a sinister growl. ^--- Entry 6 "Are you ready to begin ze test?" "Yes, the radio is recording. I will write down and narrate every thing for future generations." "Ja, ja. Just turn on ze teleporter." "Okay. Begin test one. I will now put our test subject, a small black soul gem, in the device." "Are you sure it iz safe for us to use that?" "Oh, of course it is. it isn't even filled." "Okay... let's begin the test." "I will now turn on the power." "The machine seems to emit a strong-" "By Luna's mane WATCH OUT!" "MY PRECIOUS! I WANT!" "Atmosphere! I thought you killed all those diamond dogs." "I did, but i think tha - look! The dog has trapped himself in the teleporter!" "Atmosphere, stop ze machine." "I can't, but we must hurry to the receiving end." Entry 7 "My goodness, we have done it. We have teleported a living organism." "Open ze device. I want to see it." "Oh, my... it looks like...like... a combination of a diamond dog and an ursa minor." "Capture it. I want to experiment on it." "Yes, Ununpentium."