Disclaimer: I don't own My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic or any of the characters, nor do I own Team Fortress 2 or any of its characters. I do, however, own Copper Head and Captain Ajax.

"STOP, STOPPIT- NOT SO FAST YOU'LL RIP THE PAGE! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME!? DO YOU- HAHAHAHA! STOP! THE MAGIC TICKLES! AHAHAHA!"

"Quiet you! Twilight? Have you found anything yet?" Rarity asked the focused mare as Twilight poured over page after page of The Bombnomicon looking for something that might help them stop the massive optical devastator that was still in luke-warm pursuit of Spy.

"Nothing yet, all these entries are all about bombs and…EXPLOSIONS. You! You were the voice in my dreams!"

"Y-YOU'RE…YOU'RE NOT SERIOUS, ARE YOU? OH MY GOD. OH. MY. GOD; THE ONLY REASON I NEVER SAID ANYTHING WAS THAT I THOUGHT YOU HAD CAUGHT ON TO THAT AGES AGO! BUT THAT LOOK ON YOUR FACE…AHAHAHAHA! YOU REALLY DIDN'T KNOW!? TWILIGHT SPARKLE ARE YOU SERIOUSLY THAT DU-MMPH!" Twilight, her cheeks burning a bright red, slammed the chatty book shut while keeping her lavender hoof squarely over the bomb that made up its mouth.

"Nothinglet'smoveonwe'rerunningoutoftime." Twilight blurted as she tried to hide the fading blush from her friends. "Stupid, know-it-all, book…"

"Didja try ASKING it to help us?" Pinkie asked with a smile as she got eye level with the pinned book and nudged it lightly. Twilight was about to explain to Pinkie about why that wouldn't work, but it was Pinkie Pie…

Twilight raised her hoof, and Pinkie swooped down like a candy-coated bird of prey, bringing the dazed and confused Bombinomicon right next to her bright blue eyes and widening smile. "UH…"

"Ooh, I like your scary pet monster. I have a pet too! His name's Gummy, he's an alligator! Does yours have a name?"

"Mhm-hm! That's a funny name! That's almost as funny as a name I came up with; cherrychanga! Or, was it chimicherry…Oh! I remember! It was chimi-cherry-changa! Which one sounds funnier to you?"

"NONE, NONE OF THOSE WERE FUNNY! NOW WOULD YOU KINDLY PUT ME DOWN SO I CAN OVERSHADOW SOME ANTS OR SOMETHING TO GET ME OUT OF HERE?"

Pinkie rubbed her chin with her hoof at this statement. "You're right. Kumquat sounds a LOT funnier!"

+++++

'Curse Monoculus and its ability to fly over these blasted houses!' Spy fired another few shots at the hovering death-ball to keep its mild attention as he bobbed and weaved behind another small shop that was quickly devastated shortly thereafter.

That was something Spy had never really understood about Monoculus: All of the other Halloween horrors were much more malicious; the Horseless Headless Horseman stomped around Mann Manor swinging his Headtaker and beheading anyone who got too close, and Merasmus cast a wide array of spells ranging from head resizing to raining Jarate...

Spy shuddered at that thought. One jar was more than enough, an entire sky's worth made him physically ill just recounting the memory. That's what made Monoculus such an anomaly (more than it being a giant, flying, disembodied eyeball), is that it was so passive by comparison.

Sure, it launched explosive, miniature versions of itself at whoever it happened to to be looking at, and it didn't even do THAT with much enthusiasm. The only time the flying observer was ever truly terrifying was when it was struck by a critical hit. Something about being hit by a slightly more effective shot than it normally should be made Monoculus furious, furious to the point where its pupil flashed to a brilliant red and it started firing mini-eyes with uncanny accuracy and speed, each and everyone boosted with crits in retaliation…

+++++

"…Lord only knows where the lad got THAT from. I dun' like gettin' hit by 'em either but that eye o' mine really snaps. The only thing tha' makes me crazy are uppity nags like you!"

"'Nag'!? How dare you!" The two monarchs clashed as orange and green sparks could once again be seen dancing about from around the tower as Chrysalis' magic-encased horn struck the cursed Eyelander. While her horn was in no danger of being amputated, the strain of slamming it against a sharp implement of war was certainly taking its toll, like trying to bite down on steel with the intention of eating it. "Just give up already, and maybe I'll only imprison you for a few thousand years instead of mounting your head on a pike!"

"Yeah? And maybe I'll jus' smack ya around a bit insteada' breaking my foot off in yer ass!" Tavish wound up and brought the hammer down on Chrysalis again and again, each blow forcing her to back down the stairs as the Scottish Prince's might overwhelmed her with each strike…at least, the ones that he actually managed to land.

Fragile appearance aside, Changeling wings are actually quite durable and can be just as strong as those of a Griffin's if not stronger. Changelings excel at the arts of trickery and deception, which go hand-in-hand with speed and stealth, so having quick wings in which to propel one's self through the shadows of alleyways and into houses in the dead of night as quietly and quickly as possible was essential. The same could be said for combat purposes, and although she wasn't doing nearly as much damage as she would have liked, she was able to strike multiple times only to disengaging before the Prince had a chance to return fire.

Prince DeGroot was the other side of that coin. The grenades Demoman toted around with him weighed much more then they let on since they were packed to the brim with all manner of violent explosive material, add the solid wood and metal launcher used to fire said bombs and it's no surprise that one could build muscle tone faster than Dell could build his machines. While nowhere near as agile as the Queen buzzing about around him, the few exchanges he forced her into were all in his favor as he was able to easily gain the upper (and only) hand in terms of might.

As the fight wore on and the number of steps leading up to the top ticked down to single digits, the two battling Royals both showed signs of fatigue, but only physically. That was never what the battle had been about though. The true battle that had raged all the way up the tall tower was one of will, the physical exchanges being merely expressions of the fiery spirits that burned brightly within both of them, and among others that had been fighting this entire time.

"Ack! Bloody hell-OOF!" and with that, the mighty Prince DeGroot fell flat on his face as his sword clattered to the ground (which was probably good since it muffled the array of curses that he muttered to just about everything that came to mind as he got back up on his feet). "…and all of the bloody, stinking, CHA~*"

A flash of green magic filled the entirety of his vision (which wasn't very impressive to start with) and knocked Demoman off his feet as he crashed hard into the closed off room that was only was only used for guests, such as Rarity when she came to stay in Canterlot. Chrysalis drifted down onto the exact spot where Demoman once stood, snickering as a thin wisp of steam rose from the tip of her horn. "I must say, you've put up quite a fight. Tell you what, swear your loyalty to me and I'll make you a janitor! How does that sound?" No answer came from the darkened room, only the sound of a few books falling the floor and slight shuffling were the only indications that something was actually alive in there.

Chrysalis didn't buy it, the human time bomb had proven himself to be far more resilient to let one hit knock him out. So she decided to adopt a method Heavy had found useful throughout his years of being with Sasha; spray and pray (or shout obscenities as was usually the case with the large Russian bear). "Let's see you worm your way out of this!" The dark guest room lit up again, every possible square inch being struck at least once or twice with a luminous green bolt, but still no sign of Demoman. Chrysalis grunted in annoyance that her eyes had been subjected to the harsh rays of Celestia's sun for too long and had lost their natural ability to see perfectly in the dark. It was anypony's guess what he was doing in there.

+++++

'I can't believe how stupid I am…I let everypony down. The entire kingdom, all of Equestria, is in peril because of my dumb fascination with humans…they haven't brought anything but trouble and misery! All of my friends, everypony I loved, are in danger because I'm to stupid to recognize a blatant trap when I see one. If I ever get out of here, I have to save everypony, it's the only way I can possibly hope to redeem myself! I've got to-'

"-huh? AAAAAAAAAH! OOF!" Lyra's bright yellow eyes shot open as the sensation of falling gripped her being only to land in something a lot softer than the marble floor of the throne room. It was also a lot slimier. "Oh gross! That's coming off of me! Eww, I hate cocoons…wait, cocoons!?" That was when Lyra started to really take in her surroundings; the cocoons that had once held her and many others captive lay slashed and burned all along the floor, the ponies that had been trapped within were also scattered about and covered in the same mysterious goo she was.

Lyra was mortified. She had come to the conclusion that her poorly thought out actions had aided Chrysalis in her attempt to take over Equestria while she was marinading inside of her organic prison, but she couldn't have dreamed up this kind of carnage in her worst nightmares: Banners, armor, the destroyed ceiling, the condition of the throne room. All of it was her fault.

"Even the Princesses were caught? Ohh Lyra what have you done? If I only had my shield and mask, then maybe I could make up for my failure! Say, what'd I even land in?" Ever since Lyra had landed in the softer-than-ground substance she had felt a comforting warmth all around her, like being wrapped up in a blanket next to a blazing fire on the eve of a cold and otherwise unforgiving stormy night. She had felt this particular state of warmth before, and that was back when…

Before Lyra had enough time to soak in all that was going on, her savior set her down on a cushion that had been torn from one of the seats by a particularly destructive Changeling, grabbed his weapon and rushed out to the courtyard.

"W-WAIT! Don't go! I never got to say goodbye…" Lyra's words trailed off as she kicked up a little bit of dust from the ruined cushion she found herself on. A groan from Biggs made her ears perk, remembering that she wasn't the only pony that had been captured. 'Well, if I can't help with the fight directly I guess this is the next best thing.' She trotted over to the semiconscious guard and helped him up into a sitting position, then she moved onto Wedge, then Ajax, asking everypony she came across if there was anything she could do to help them get back on their hooves in time to help banish that monster eye once and for all.

+++++

"ALRIGHT! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S HOLY, SHUT HER UP! I'LL TALK! I'LL TALK!" The Bombinomicon cried out from the overdose of Pinkie-chatter.

"I thought you'd see it our way," Twilight chuckled, plucking away her earplugs as the book shuttered in fear of the happy pink pony looking down at it. "Rainbow?" The multi-colored mare gave a quick salute and promptly wrapped her forelegs around Pinkie's motor mouth, who continued to talk despite Dash's intervention. "Now, how do we stop Monoculus?"

"AHH! LISTEN TO ME! THERE REALLY ISN'T A WAY TO CONTROL MONOCULUS! THE ONLY PERSON WHO MIGHT EVEN REMOTELY UNDERSTAND WHAT TO DO IS THAT OLD COOT, MERASMUS. HE WAS THE ONE WHO ORIGINALLY CREATED IT FROM A YOUNG TAVISH DEGROOT'S LEFT EYE, BUT WHENEVER HE SUMMONS IT, HE JUST LETS IT DO WHATEVER THE HELL IT WANTS UNTIL SOMEONE FINALLY UP AND KILLS THE DAMN THING! SO, LIKE I SAID; YOU CAN'T STOP IT WITHOUT EITHER KILLING IT OR TRICKING IT BACK INTO THE HELL IT CAME FROM, AND SEEING AS HOW NO ONE'S EVER BEEN ABLE TO DO THE LATTER, YOU'RE OPTIONS ARE STARTING TO DWINDLE."

Twilight rubbed her temples. 'There has to be a way to get rid of Monoculus without killing it. Hmm…if The Bombinomicon can summon beings TO Equestria, then maybe the spell can be reversed to send it back. Maybe I could just…no, that would be silly. Still…' Twilight closed the book so that its front cover faced her. "Has anypony ever tried…saying the spell backwards?" she said sheepishly.

The Bombinomicon said nothing for a moment, "OH MY LORD IT COULD NOT HAVE BEEN THAT SIMPLE…NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT, MERASMUS HAS ONLY REALLY USED THAT ONE SPELL, ONE-TRICK PONY THAT HE IS…ERR, SORRY. I SUPPOSE IT'S WORTH A SHOT."

"Alright, here it goes; OBZARB SUBARRAB!" With the admittedly strange incantation leaving her lips, Twilight's large eyes became orbs of white light as she rose genteelly off the ground. A beam of strong magic rocketed into the air spawning a deep purple smog that blotted out the sun all throughout the city. A low rumble rocked the sky and shook buildings as the exhausted unicorn fell back to earth only to be saved by Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. Bolts of lightning danced about between the clouds, flashes of purple bloomed from within the dense fog but rarely breaking through. The plume continued to spiral around the point where the magical blast had pierced the heavens until a mysterious rectangle slipped through and slowly descended towards the ponies that looked up in awe at all that was happening. The Bombinomicon, on the other hoof, was looking up at the card the same way a gambler watches a roulette table.

"C'MON, C'MON C'MON C'MON C'MON C'MON C'MON YOU OWE ME, DECK." As the card came into the light the strange symbols that adorned it became clear-ish; clear in the sense that they could be clearly seen but not in the way that they made any sense. The only things any of them could distinguish was the number seven as represented by "VII" and a shield with lightning bolts that were bent in a shape that almost looked like a capital "K". The rest of the symbols around the boarder were completely indistinguishable, their true meaning had been lost for decades (ever since Merasmus had accidentally placed the decoder ring in his robe that he had sent off to the dry cleaners). The infernal tome's eyes widened (which really wasn't that noticeable) as its voice got lower than its normal annoying one. "IT IS THE CRIT BOOSTENING!"

"The, what?" Twilight asked as her world began to stop spinning from the large burst of magic she had discharged.

+++++

"What ze hell?" Spy uttered as he fired off another shoot towards the would-be-lumbering-if-it-couldn't-fly orb of ex-Tavish flesh as the voice echoed throughout the city of Neo Hive.

There was another reason why Spy was glad that he had decided to bring along the Ambassador as opposed to another one of his revolvers; he didn't have to worry about random critical hits. Normally, the mercenaries of Reliable Excavation Demolition and Builders League United were overjoyed when fate temporarily forgot that she hated them and blessed them with a random boost in power to whatever weapon they happened to wielding at the moment, but there were those few rare occasions where that became a problem, like trying to kill someone only to have an overpowered shot knock the target away and making a second shot impossible (assuming that the boosted hit wasn't fatal). With the Ambassador, Spy was able to pick and choose when to deal extra damage by aiming for the head, something that Monoculus was sorely lacking and therefore wouldn't become enraged no matter how many hits he landed on it.

The next few events happened in what seemed like an hour when it was only but a moment: As the booming voice finished echoing throughout the mountain a tingling sensation buzzed about in Spy's right palm. He looked around to his hand to find that his Ambassador was glowing bright orange and crackling with energy as smoke drifted lazily from the engraved silver barrel from the recent shot…the recent shot that had been affected by the Crit Boostening. "Oh. Merde."

"MURRRRRRURRR!!!" The great abomination bellowed as a small trickle of blood ran down from its upper lid where a still glowing bullet had lodged itself. The brown ring of its iris flashed red as the lids shaped themselves to form an expression that could only be described as "outraged". Spy knew what was coming next and flipped out the Dead Ringer, waiting for the inevitable barrage of ocular ballistics.

Suddenly, twin bolts of crimson lightning struck Monoculus coming from the direction of the castle. The energy crackled all around the confused sphere as it writhed about, launching eye-bombs randomly it a vain attempt to strike the source of the sneak attack. After a moment of struggling its lids shot open in what seemed to be sudden realization…before going right back into anger. Spy again prepped himself for a barrage of explosives but found his preparation unnecessary as Monoculus spun on its axis and made haste towards the palace. "Why would it be heading back? Unless…ze ponies!" Spy tore off down the alleyways, he had to beat that monster back or his only sober allies (and his only way home) would be blasted into thin glue.

+++++

"W-What was THAT? What did you do!?" Twilight shouted at the anarchist cookbook as it began to laugh at a joke that only seemed funny to it. Well, Pinkie was laughing too but she's very susceptible to laughter even if it's ill-timed.

"AW, WHAT'S WRONG TWILIGHT? THIS IS A GOOD THING! CHRYSALIS' MIND CONTROL WAS JUST SHATTERED BY MONOCULUS' WRATH AND WITH THAT LITTLE SPELL, IT IS NOW FULLY UNDER CONTROL. MY CONTROL TO BE EXACT."

Twilight was about to open her egghead mouth when a massive shadow enveloped her and her gathered friends. She looked up to see Monoculus looking right back at her, the only difference being that she was doing so in shock, it was doing so in anger. The Mane Six backed away slowly (Rainbow slower than others since she had to move for both her and a clingy Fluttershy) as the creature hovered high over their candy-colored heads. "How could you? We saved you after everything you did, and this is how you repay us!?" Rarity shouted taking a step forward.

"IT'S FUNNY, I HAD ACTUALLY PLANNED ON LETTING YOU GO ABOUT YOUR LAME LIVES…BUT SOME PONY DECIDED TO LODGE A BIG DAMN 'CHERRYCHANGA' INTO THAT PLAN!"

"Oh…" Twilight's ears folded against her head. Figures that this would happen, Applejack had been pretty sore with them after they did that to her and she was their friend. In retrospect, doing the same thing to a para-dimensional magic book with explosive tendencies and a hulking eyeball at it's beck and call probably wasn't the best idea.

"ACTUALLY, THAT REMINDS ME; PINKIE PIE, I HAVE A FUNNY WORD I'LL BET YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF BEFORE…"

"*GASP* Tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me! I wanna hear the fun word!"

"Silly! That's two wor-AHH!" Monoculus cut off the pink party pony's reply as a glowing purple eye rocketed towards them at amazing speed. Twilight's heart dropped into her stomached and digested: This was it. She couldn't throw up a strong enough shield to protect them from something like that, and only Rainbow might have been able to get away but Fluttershy was busy crying into her cyan coat. Twilight felt like doing the same, and as the first tear rolled down her cheek, she closed her eyes and waited for what was to come. At least she would be able to see her friends again in a better place...

Everypony's eyes shot open at the strange sound just in time to witness the impending doom that was the Eye-Crocket arc back at an impossible angle and slam into Monoculus with an ear-shattering explosion.

Standing before them was someone they could never forget (which was ironic since most of Equestria had). He stood tall atop his bipedal legs which were coved by a pair of black rubber boots that ran up to his shins before stopping to allow the brilliant crimson body suit to take over the task of protecting the wearer. His hands had a similar motif and ran the length of his forearms over the asbestos-lined RED suit which was adorned with yellow decals of what appeared to be a flame on either shoulder, which in turn had various straps hanging from them that held such things like grenades and a large, grey propane tank. His visage, reflecting the sun's rays despite the layer of magical smog that still hung over the sky, was what truly set him apart; a black gas mask with filters near the mouth and two, soulless goggles that could pierce the very being of whomever they gazed upon, and if that didn't stop them in their tracks, then the long flamethrower he had tightly grasped betwixt his yellow-tipped digits certainly would.

"PYRO!" Twilight exclaimed, as the tears of sorrow were replaced by tears of joy and relief.

"Mhmm," the tall human mumbled as he gave her a thumbs up before snapping back to The Bombinomicon and Monoculus. "Huddah-huh? Mhm-hmp…"

Twilight's Demoman Devastation

by Darrtaa

Chapter 12: Let's Duel! (Part 1)