//------------------------------// // Chapter 19: Khala's Warming Eve // Story: Of Archon Toilets and Bioballs // by MiniPsyker //------------------------------// "Once upon a time..." Spike related as the curtains of the theater in Canterlot opened, revealing him with a costume not unlike those of the renaissance era of Terra, and with a faux british accent. "...Long before the peaceful rule of Celestia, and before ponies discovered our beautiful land of Equestria, ponies did not know harmony. It was a strange and dark time. A time when ponies were torn apart... By hatred." The entire crowd gasped. "I know. Can you believe it? During this frightful age, each of the three tribes, the Pegasi, the unicorns, and the Earth ponies, cared not for what befell the other tribes, but only for their own welfare. In those troubled times, as now, the Pegasi were the stewards of the weather. But, they demanded something in return. Food that could only be grown by the Earth ponies. The unicorns demanded the same, in return for magically bringing forth day and night. And so, mistrust between the tribes festered, until one fateful day, it came to a boil. And what prompted the ponies to clash? 'Twas a mysterious blizzard that overtook the land, and toppled the tribes' precarious peace..." And thus, the story of the past began, the telling now taking place directly at the time of the events. "GAAAAAAAAAAH!!" Two male voices could be heard growing louder and louder form above, falling to their demise. They struck against the ground. The great amount of snow cushioned their fall, but at the same time they were buried by it. "Hey... I'm alive!!" Kra'Ser popped out of the pile of snow, cheering upon inspecting his chest and finding out he had no injueries. "Freedom!!" Mike cheered, popping out of the snow, thinking they finally managed to get out of Equestria. His joy was short-lived, though. He looked around, only to see a blizzard and nothing else. The storm was so thick that only the blue and grey tint of the atmosphere could be seen, and only the sound of the wind could be heard. "So much for 'Freedom'." Kra'Ser mentioned, irritated by the situation. "Where are we?! How did we get here?! Why did we end up here instead of a beach surrounded by hot chicks?!" Only the sound of the wind answered. "Can't see shit, captain." Kra'Ser stated upon viewing the area with his HUD. "No minerals, no geysers, nothing." "What if it's like one of those you-can-only-use-the-heroes kind of missions?" "Worth a shot. What do we do?" "Check the mission objectives." Kra'Ser now tinkered with his HUD to find out what the mission objectives were. "'Find out what the mission objectives are.' I'll be damned." Kra'Ser stated. "So... Should we scout?" "Does it look like we have any other option?" "Give up?" "That one is grayed out." "Damn." The normally industrious Earth ponies were unable to farm their land. The storyteller Spike continued. The Earth ponies, just as Spike said, were starving and trying to farm the land which was covered with snow to no avail. What little they grew, died later. The ponies starved, and the winds were strong enough to tear a house down. "Alright, fantastic, we found something, looks like we're still stuck in Equestria." Mike stated while walking next to Kra'Ser into the Earth pony village, eating from a bucket of Korpulu Fried Chicken through his gasmask. However, the starved ponies took notice of Mike's food, ignoring the fact that alien species, a Terran and a Protoss, walked in front of them. In a frenzy, every Earth pony began chasing Mike for his bucket, making him run off and scream madly. Kra'Ser sighed while resting his palm on his face in annoyance. "No minerals or geysers all day long, this must be a solo mission. Seems like everyone's starving too. Thank Tassadar hunger and logistics weren't implemented in Starcraft..." The Earth ponies were freezing. The home of the Pegasi fared no better. The Pegasi were hungry. And the unicorns were freezing and hungry. Even the unicorns' magic was powerless against the storm. Each tribe blamed the others for their suffering, and the angrier everypony grew, the worse the blizzard became. "Mike." Kra'Ser called for him. Mike arrived with serious injuries and a broken, empty bucket. "Look over there." He ordered as he pointed at a rather big building. Near it, several ponies gathered inside. It wouldn't be an exaggeration if it was said that most if not all ponies around would be there. "What do you think is happening?" "Well, maybe--" And so it was decided that a grand summit would be held to figure out a way to cope with the blizzard. "Thanks, narrator." Mike and Kra'Ser thanked in unison. Each tribe sent their leaders. The crowd muttered at eachother in annoyance and anxiousness, but the trumpets inside the building silenced everyone, signalling the arrival of the leaders of each tribe. Daughter of the unicorn king, Princess Platinum. Ruler of the Pegasi, Commander Hurricane. And lastly... The fanfare of trumpets was replaced by a fanfare of kazoos. ...Leader of the Earth ponies, Chancellor Puddinghead. Perhaps the three tribes could finally settle their differences, and agree on a way to get through this disaster. The three tribe leaders gathered near a table set in the middle of the room and stared at each other, ready to discuss their current situation. Then they started throwing random gibberish at eachother like an usual internet argument. However, their gibberish was interrupted by the giant doors breaking open, with the characteristic sound and cold temperature of the blizzard swarming inside. From the blizzard, Mike, who was the one who kicked the door open, stepped inside with his gun ready and Kra'Ser following next to him. "Alright everyone! I'm hungry, my bucket of ch'k'n was stolen, and my rear is freezing!! Unless you tell me what the hell is going on--" His request ended before it was completed. Before his eyes he could swear he saw Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie on a table with the crowd above them in balconies. He strapped his gun to his side and rushed forward, grabbing Rarity by her shoulders and shaking her around. "Rarity!! What's going on?! We suddenly got here Arcturus knows how, then this blizzard, then my bucket, why?! Why?! Is there no God anymore?!" "Ugh!!" Princess Platinum grunted while shoving him away. "Don't touch me, you filthy casual." She spoke while dusting off her shoulders. "And what are you anyways? A deformed Earth pony?" She questioned, both judging by the fact Mike had no horn nor wings, and purposefully insulting the Earth ponies. "Mike, we might have a problem." Kra'Ser informed him while checking on his HUD. "Of course we have a problem!! She called me a casual!!" "Tsk, no. Apparently my windows clock reverted by... More than a thousand years." He stated. Then, he muttered behind his non-existent teeth to himself. "Fucking windows 98..." "More than a thousand years!?" Kra'Ser only shrugged. He was just as confused. Behind them, the argument between the three leaders raged on, this time with a tremendously overthought conspiracy theory about the Terran and the Protoss being other-worldly agents sent by the other tribe leaders to take them out. Such was the hatred between them that they didn't even decide to stop for a moment and think about who, and most importantly, what Mike and Kra'Ser were. And the blizzard raged on... So the summit of the tribes did not turn out as well as hoped, and the three leaders returned home to lick their wounds, and basically complain. "So..." Mike questioned while checking his gun the one and true Terran way, by aiming the barrel right into his eye. "What now?" "As if I'd know." Kra'Ser sighed. Both of them were sitting over a fallen tree in front of a bonfire, doing absolutely nothing but waiting and trying to decipher what to do. "I scouted half the entire map on my own. There's nothing. No enemies nor resources. There isn't even a mission objective nor a timer. There's nothing." Kra'Ser muttered "This is Hell." "Wait, I'm seeing movement." The Templar stated while checking his HUD. "What is it?" "It's... Rarity... Rainbow Dash and... Pinkie Pie. Twilight, Fluttershy and Applejack follow each one. They're heading outside the village limits. Wait... They're crossing to the parts I didn't scout!!" "It's happening!" Mike jumped from the log, checked his gun, and ran off with Kra'Ser to catch up. "According to the minimap, we're entering the unexplored area." Kra'Ser stated. Both him and Mike were walking through a forest covered in snow. "Rarity, Pinkie and Rainbow Dash took different paths but they're bound to meet eachother further ahead if they keep walking their way. If my wild guessing is right, it shouldn't be too far ahead." "These things creep me out..." Mike said, staring around with his gun ready. He was still with the trauma of what happened in the Everfree forest not long after he arrived into this world. "Trees? You're scared of... Trees?" "You don't know, Templar. The trees... They have eyes... They also have mouths, arms, teeth... And a strange aura around them... I went into the Everfree forest with two hundred marines, I got out with five." He failed to notice that a hundred ninety five marines actually got shot by eachother because everyone was firing blindly out of fright in that unfortunate event. "You need to stop drinking cider." "You'll see, Templar... You'll see..." "Listen, first off, those things are in your mind. Second, even if what you said was truth, you and your men are Terrans, whereas I'm a Protoss. You're all clinically insa--" "We found our new home!" Kra'Ser and Mike heard the voice of three mares behind a wall of trees. "Seems like we're close." Mike stated. They both walked further until through the leaves and woods they could see the three tribe leaders arguing. "Oh boy here we go..." Kra'Ser sighed while rolling his eyes. "Hey!! What are those things doing here?!" Commander Hurricane questioned loudly while pointing at the commander and the templar. It seems they heard Kra'Ser. "Don't act foolish, it is clear you sent them against the people of Unicornia!" Princess Platinum accused. "Unicornia?! This land is Earth!" Cancellor Puddinghead retorted. "This is a load of UED BS..." Mike whispered to the Templar upon hearing the word 'Earth'. "I heard that!!" The Chancellor yelled, although not even knowing what UED meant, taking it as an insult. "I say we fight for the land. May the best pony win!" Commander Hurricane challenged. Upon hearing this, Mike readied his gun and Kra'Ser activated his psi blade which he installed days ago. Both were expecting an all-out war, seeing as the three tribe leaders had ponies under their command, but the only thing that happened was a snowball flying into Platinum's face. "Who dares throw a snowball at royalty?!" "Wait a minute," The Chancellor interrupted, "Where'd all this snow come from anyway?" "Oh no. Not again." Commander Hurricane lamented. "It seems that fighting causes the blizzard to get worse." Kra'Ser observed while extending his hand for a snowflake to land. "If we had our forces, this place would turn into Braxis." Mike stated, already knowing too well that he and the Templar took gratuitous amounts of property damage as the first resort to everything. Then, he saw how the ponies stopped arguing and began looking for something. "They're heading somewhere, we should follow." And so the paradise that the ponies had found was soon lost, buried beneath a thick blanket of snow, and hard feelings. Instead of beautiful, it was blizzardy. Instead of wonderful, it was wintry! Instead of spectacular, it was snow-tacular! Instead of- We get it! Get on with it! Yes, get on with it! [Multitide]Yes!! Get on with it!! Everypony was forced to seek shelter. They searched high and low, but the only shelter for miles was a cold and desolate cave. And, of course, the three tribes had to share it, and nopony was too happy about that. "Mike, I think I understand your situation a bit better now..." Kra'Ser stated nervously, hearing the announcer in his head. "You'll grow used to it." Mike reassured him. "Oh boy. Caves." Mike sarcastically cheered, too used to fighting in the Xel'Naga caverns back when he fought for the Dominion. "So, what are we supposed to do now?" "The mission objectives still show nothing. Maybe something will happen regarding these ponies." Kra'Ser stated. "Perhaps." While Mike and Kra'Ser were talking, the servant of each tribe leader began drawing a line on the ground. "They're marking their territory...?" Mike questioned to himself. "They don't even have any means to defend it." Then, they began fighting for a rock that was between the borders. "Hey, Mike, that reminds me of something." Kra'Ser laughed, obviously insulting Mike and the Terrans for fighting for a simple planet in the Koprulu sector. "Oh shut up." Mike grunted. The ponies kept fighting while Kra'Ser and Mike stared, sitting in a corner of the cave, admiring the somewhat amusing spectacle. However, not after long, a strange fog began originating at the top of the cave, with the temperature dropping considerably. "Is that supposed to happen?" Kra'Ser asked while pointing at the cave's ceiling. The temperature kept dropping tremendously until the walls themselves were slowly covered by a sheet of ice. "Look, everypony! The entrance!" Clover the Clever spoke up. The entrance was being covered by a sheet of ice until it was completely blocked. "Great. Now there's no way out! We're trapped!" Commander Hurricane ranted. Mike just sighed and stood up, then began walking to the blocked entrance. Kra'Ser only followed him with his sight, not knowing what he was going to do. "You two deserve this horrible fate." Princess Platinum said. "You've done nothing but argue and fight with each other!" "You've been fighting too, your highness." "Really?" Mike questioned while breaking the sheet of ice blocking the entrance into a thousand pieces by simply flicking his finger at it. "You haven't even tried to get out? I mean, seriously?" The three tribe leaders just stood there with blank expressions. "Well, obviously I already knew about this, it was just a matter of time. If it wasn't for Commander Hothead, I'd have saved everyone already." Princess Platinum boasted. "Well excuse me, Princess!!" Commander Hurricane yelled. "Oh for the love of..." Mike grunted while slapping his gasmask's forehead. "You know what? I'm out, I'm not gonna stay here and get 'trapped' again by those flying things on top of us." "Right behind you." Kra'Ser stated while standing up, now following Mike outside. "...On top of us...?" Clover the Clever questioned while raising her sight. Then, he spotted the things Mike spoke about. "...Windigos!" "W-windigos??" Smart Cookie and Private Pansy questioned with fright. Now that the source of the argument was gone somewhat, the three tribe leaders regained their composure somewhat and decided to escape from the cave, with their respective servants following after them. "My mentor Star Swirl the Bearded taught me about them." Clover the Clever explained Pansy and Cookie while catching up with the rest. "They're winter spirits that feed off fighting and hatred. The more hate the spirit feels, the colder things become." "So to avoid this blizzard we just need to cooperate?" Mike asked. The pegasi, earth ponies and unicorns had arrived, thinking that this was the promised land. "Well, yes. As long as there's no hate--" "See if I care!!" Commander Hurricane continued arguing with Princess Platinum and Chancellor Puddinghead. "I arrived to these lands first, and I claim it!" "How barbaric." Princess Platinum retorted. Not after long, the three of them started turning into ice, although they were oblivious to the slow change. Their argument had the higher priority for them. "I am no thermodynamics professional, but isn't that not supposed to happen?" Mike questioned. "No, but it seems that it is happening to us too." Kra'Ser stated upon noticing his legs were turning into ice. The same was said about Mike's and the Ponies'. "Any ideas what to do?" Mike questioned. Every pony was accepting their fate already. "There is one thing." "Fuuu..." Mike and Kra'Ser concentrated with their eyes closed, right before opening them and impacting their knuckles against eachother in an arc. "...Sion!!" A scorching light blinded the ponies, forcing those who were not frozen to cover their eyes with their arms. But, once the ponies could see once again and their eyes adapted, they could see only one humanoid. It wasn't Mike, it wasn't Kra'Ser. It was something else. "I am... Gestalt." The strange humanoid stated. It had the characteristics of both Protoss and Terran creatures, as if they had fused together. The windigos began circling with more fury than before, as if the Gestalt contained more hatred than both Mike and Kra'Ser combined. Then, a windigo landed right in front of the Gestalt, both now staring at eachother in silence, in a deadlock. The ponies could do nothing but stare at those two strange beings. "Come at me, bro." The Gestalt challenged with his arms wide open. Then he was frozen solid by the windigo in a split second. "That was anti-climatic..." Clover the Clever sighed, encased in ice up to her neck. "I guess this is the end." Smart Cookie stated. "What I want to say..." Private Pansy spoke to Cookie and Clover. "...Is that I don't hate you." The three began laughing. "Hi-yo silver!!" An echoing voice was heard by the three, as if two people spoke at the same time. They raised their sight only to see an unbelievable sight: It was the Gestalt, who was riding a windigo in the skies while the other windigos chased. "What." Clover the Clever questioned dumbfounded. "It... Broke out the ice?!" In the skies, the air around Gestalt and the windigos distorted as if time and space were sucked into a vacuum. Gestalt was releasing so much hatred shared by Mike and Kra'Ser that the windigos couldn't absorb it faster than it was created. "Fly like the wind, Bullseye!!" The Gestalt yelled while gripping the windigo's mouth as it desperately tried to regain freedom, only to veer off course and crash-land into the ground leaving a trail of dust behind. The Gestalt managed to blink away like a protoss stalker get on top of another windigo, surprising it and grabbing it by the ears, taking full control. "What in tarnation..." Smart Cookie muttered. "Move!! That thing needs our help!!" A pony yelled behind them in the multitude. Clover the Clever and the other two servants tried turning around to see what the commotion was about upon hearing the pony and feeling a hundred hooves running, but it was for naught for the ice covered her up to her neck. However, not after long, two unicorns arrived with hairdryers and began unmelting the ice. It wasn't their magic that made this accomplishable, it was something else. Once the ice melted, Clover turned around and saw the Earth ponies and unicorns throwing rocks and snowballs at the windigos from the ground with their hooves and makeshift slingshots. There was even a giant slingshot which threw boulders the size of a car. The pegasi helped too, circling the skies and harassing the windigos with their flight, causing them to dodge them and become unfocused, thus making them easier targets. Anyone would say that this hatred from the Gestalt and the ponies would have fueled the windigos enough to cause a perpetual ice age, but not this kind of hatred. The hatred that caused the blizzard was fueled by the tribes having a grudge against eachother and not caring at all; but this one was a hatred against those who threatened their fellow kin. It was so great that the tribes who once were separated united against a common foe. This wasn't the kind of hatred which the windigos could use. "Thing looks like the battle of Midway!!" The Gestalt yelled while standing over a windigo as if he was surfing the air while shooting another one with Mike's gun. "Wooah!" He exclaimed while narrowly dodging a windigo, taking the opportunity to cling onto it by stabbing it with his psi blade while shooting an EMP round at the one he left. It seemed like the Gestalt had most abilities from the Terran and Protoss arsenals. Eventually, the windigos became weaker and weaker until one by one they disappeared, with the climate reflecting the change by becoming warmer and warmer. "This is the last one?" The Gestalt questioned while wrestling a windigo in mid-air. "Alright, fantastic!!" He then proceeded to stab it with his psi blade, causing it to combust into cold air. He fell through the skies towards the ground, purposefully diving to gain speed, but before he impacted, he blinked onto the ground causing the speed to decrease. He landed without injury, met by the cheer of every pony around. "Thanks." He spoke with his arm high while trying to regain his balance, boasting. "Thanks everyone. I give air-wrestling classes on Tuesdays." The blinding light from before soon followed, with Mike and Kra'Ser now standing where Gestalt stood seconds ago. "I know what to do now!" Kra'Ser spoke up in front of every pony around. "All we need is cooperation, right? Unite the ponies with the Khala! And it shall lead us forth into a new age of blind faith and unreasonable HATRED!!" "Yeah!! Hatred!! Huzzah!!" Every pony cheered. Then, a giant snowball fell on top of Kra'Ser. "Okay, maybe not." Mike observed. All through the night that followed, the Protoss, the Terran, and every pony around kept the fire of hatred for the sake of friendship alive by telling stories to one another, singing songs and celebrating in their newfound home, which of course became the winter carols that we all still sing today. Eventually, the warmth of the fire and singing and laughing reached the leaders who were left frozen for more time once the ponies realized that it was pretty much because of them that everything happened, and their bodies began to thaw. And, it even began to melt their hearts, fortunately. The three leaders agreed to share the beautiful land, and live in harmony ever afterwards. And as a token of eternal gratitude, they also allowed the Terran and the Protoss to name their land. This land was thus named... "New Korhal!" Mike boasted in front of the dominion flag he planted. "Hey, it'll be New Aiur!!" Kra'Ser retorted, with a flag of the Daelaam. "New Korhal!" "New Aiur!" "Why not... Equestria?" A random pony suggested while drawing a design for a flag on the dirt. "Yeah sure." "Fine by me." "Wait, what?!" Spike realized what he had been saying. The public was speechless and the mane 6 dumbfounded. Twilight even ran off to her library and came back with a book titled 'The Founding of Equestria' and slammed it open on the ground, with every pony arriving to check what was going on. "Okay, let's see... Founding... Founding... Founding..." Twilight spoke to herself while desperately turning pages. Every pony was gathered around the book waiting for answers. "Aha! Found it! 'The two outsiders who named themselves Mike and Kra'ser arrived from an unknown land, but they decided to help the ponies without even asking for a reward. After the founding of Equestria, they misteriously disappeared, never to be seen again. It is not clear whether their legacy will live on or not, but what they've done deserves the best of us and more.' ...What in the name of...?!" She spoke up, completely confused. Then, she ran off to the hallway of the castle while leaving her book for everyone to inspect. Once she arrived, she looked around the stained glasses until the found the one she had been looking for. Her confusion increased tenfold once she spotted Mike, Kra'Ser, and their fused form 'Gestalt' engraved in it with the ponies of the three tribes. Then she heard two screams from the skies coming closer and closer. She noticed it, but her confusion didn't even allow her to breathe correctly, let alone look around to see what it was. Both Mike and Kra'Ser fell through the castle roof where the glass was, breaking through it and landing behind her, unconscious. "I..." Twilight muttered. "I-I don't... I can't... What..."