//------------------------------// // How I Created Your Mother (Narrated by Bob Saget) // Story: The Misadventures of Dovahkiin // by GhostofSandwich //------------------------------// "Woohoo! I'm a horse!" The six mares turned and looked at Dovahkiin. "Pinkie, I said to not give him one of your special cupcakes!" "Oh did you? Sorry Twi, I though you said to not give him my special crab cakes!" "What's the difference?!" "There isn't one! Well besides the fact that cupcakes taste better. I mean, who likes cakes made from crabs? Well besides Discord, but he doesn't count! Ooh, Fluttershy likes them! Guess you guessed somepony! You win a cupcake!" Before Twilight could even attempt to protest, the pink party pony reached into her mane and pulled out a yellow cupcake and shoved it into Twilight's mouth. "Pwinkie, ahp!" "Swallow Twilight!" "That's what sh-" "Finish that, and ah'll kill you, Rainbow." Rainbow quickly shut her mouth. Last time Applejack threatened her, Rainbow had ended up getting bucked by Big Mac upon her request. And by bucked, I mean bucked. As in hit with his hind legs, you silly fillies! "There you go Twilight. See? Now you'll start to feel better in a moment! Unless I gave you a bad batch, then you'll just have terrible cramps." Pinkie began hopping, which started to make the Dovahkiin do it as well. "I love the sound of clopping!" All of the ponies snickered under their breaths at the comment. Probably best the Dovahkiin never know what clopping meant in their world. He'd find it creepy, or even worse... Find it hot. That was most definitely that last thing they needed. Right after Scootaloo annoying them. "Pinkie, you did that to him... You're in charge of- OH GLORIOUS SHINING HORN OF CELESTIA I FEEL GOOD!" Pinkie forgot to mention how fast the magic special cupcakes kicked in. "Whoa... Everything looks so weird!" She started to see everything as edible sweets, and she suddenly wanted to be friends with everything around her. Oh, and her mane popped into a style similar to Pinkie's. "I know right?!" Pinkie pulled another three from her mane, and a fourth from a nearby fillies' hair. With a single gulp, she ate all four. "Hey Rainbow!" "Wha-" Twilight popped out of Rarity's mane near Rainbow and tacked her. "Your mane is so awesome! How do you dye it? Wait! It's a special shampoo isn't it? I like shampoo, especially cupcake flavor! I know what you're thinking, they don't make cupcake flavored shampoo!" "Oh no... We got two Pinkie Pie's now." Everypony turned and looked at Twilight and Pinkie, who were now walking on each others hooves, somehow walking vertically into the air, using the others hooves as the ground. "How does that...? I don't even..." "Dashie!" Dashie's tail shot straight outward as her pet name was called. "Don't you start calling me that too, Twilight!" "Buck you, I do what I want!" Twilight and Pinkie began bouncing around the remaining 'normal' five mares and the Dovahkiin, who was busy shaking his hand in front of his face while chewing on his hair as if they were trapped in a invisible box. "Pinkie!" "Twilight!" "Twinkie!" "Pwilight!" The mares eyes followed the two bouncing ponies until they began to derp much like Derpy. The only difference is they didn't immediately get noticed and made into a celebrity. "What are you two doing?!" Dashie's question was answered as the two collided in mid air, combining the two ponies into a blob of Technicolored mess. That blob fell to the ground, revealing the two, or rather one, pony. The pony before them had Twilight's color scheme, Pinkie's hair, Morgan Freeman's voice, and the cutie mark of... Well, to this day nobody nor nopony knew what the actual British hell that cutie mark was. Oh, and she retained the horn, but had the magic of the best voice acting ever. "SMASHING!" Hearing Morgan Freeman say smashing like Nigel Thornberry was the most amazing thing to happen to the world since the creation of cocaine. I suppose you'll just have to imagine it. That, and lucky charms. "Sweet Celestia, you sound more manly than Flutterguy did!" The strange part, was that it was Fluttershy who just said that... "Dovahkiin, stop licking Dashie. Sure, she tastes like skittles, but your not supposed to do it in public!" "St-st-stahp it!" Dashie erupted into one of her laughs that made her voice crack. Dovahkiin was currently laying on his side while licking Dashie's hooves. In his eyes, they were large rainbow colored sweet rolls. Unfortunately for him, Rainbow had not washed her hooves in about... Well, ever. She was a very, very filthy creature that should be ashamed. And children, she never was. "Dovahkiin! Dragonborn!" Fluttershy perked up once more, before remembering that Dovahkiin did not in fact mean Dragon Porn. "I have donuts for you!" "Would you four... Er, three quit it?! We need to get on the train!" Rarity flared her nostrils and twitched her eye at the madness before her. Nopony ever figured out what her problem that day was, but everyone assumed it was because she saw Tom with Scootaloo, which would drive anypony crazy. Morgan Pinkieman Sparkle popped out of the light above Rarity and stretched her... His... Nopony knew what the actual great scott that thing was... We'll just call it a she. Anyways, she stretched her eyes and rubbed them against Rarity's head. "Sure! Hey Rarity, you got lice. They're making a colony in there! You also got dandruff, and two ponies singing very weirdly, although interestingly." "GET THEM OUT!" Pinkieman immediately dropped out of the street light, which disappeared to somewhere unknown. That very same street light would later help the apple in Canterlot take over, which was happening about that time. Still, that street light was never seen again. "Okie dokie loki artichokie!" Pinkieman levitated Rarity and began violently shaking her. Without any warning, two ponies fell out of her hair, one holding a guitar and the other holding a hand drum. The six mares and the Dovahkiin backed away as the one on the left started playing the guitar and singing. The one on the right played the hand drum amazingly well considering he had hooves. "Well I will clop 500 hours, and I will clop 500 more! Just to be the man who clopped 1,000 hours just to pass out on the floor! Ta ta da!" "Ta da da!" The second one had now joined in, and it just seemed like they were just screaming this part. "Ta da ta!" "DA DA DA!" "TA DA DA!" The two turned to each other and got right in each others faces. "DA TA DEAH!" "DEAH TAH DEAHDAH!" Without any warning, the two returned to their stance and the one on the left resumed singing as if nothing happened. "Yes, I will clop 500 hours, and I will clop 500 more! Just to be the man who clopped 1,000 hours to pass out on the floooooor!" The two ponies took a bow and walked away as if nothing at all had happened. "Well... That was weird." Everypony agreed with Pinkieman and looked to where the two strange ponies had just walked to. "Good song though." Dashie never spoke truer words. Especially not after she became the supreme leader of Equestria and stated that she did not have sexual relations with that mare. But that doesn't happen for a long time, and has nothing at all to do with the Dovahkiin. Now that I think about it, none of this part of the story did. That's why I'm going t- hey where'd everybody go? Fine... I guess we'll continue the story next time. BRING MONEY!