//------------------------------//
// The Big Bang Theory 
// Story: The Misadventures of Dovahkiin 
// by GhostofSandwich 
//------------------------------//

	"You... Won't... Beat... ME!" Dovahkiin charged at the mighty beast and swung his sword at it. Unfortunately, it blocked his sword with it's rock like pincers and sniped at his legs, which he barely avoided. "Fus... Roh DAH!" The powerful shout only only served to make the mighty beast barely flinch before him.

"Damned... MUDCRAB!" He dropped the sword and raised his hand, channeling the powerful magic inside him through it. After all, he knew the powerful and unstoppable spell, Flames. "DIE!" He shot a burst of fire from his hand at the unstoppable monster before him in an attempt to cook it with the extremely powerful spell. Unfortunately for him, this only served to melt the bits of ice on the horrendous monstrosity, allowing it to move towards him faster.

"No, stay back!" He braced himself to be slayed by the worthy adversary, when he heard the familiar noise of a dragon about to land. He dived back as the dragon landed right where he had just been. "Oh, what an annoying pest..." He hurried and stood, then ran over to the dragon and punched it, killing it instantly. "Damn dragons, getting in the way of me defending the entire world from this monstrosity!" Before the behemoth of a enemy made its bay back to Dovahkiin, he drank the soul of the dragon like a good soup.

"Ah, that should help! Come at me bro!" I raised his hands once more and put them together. He began to prepare the powerful teleportation spell capable of sending the creature to another universe. This spell, he learned from a lowly beggar in the streets of Whiterun. Because, you know, they are the best magic teachers.

"Kame... Hame..." He stopped for a moment, realizing that he was charging the wrong spell. Actually, he couldn't recall where he learned that one... Probably from the short old man that lived in the basement of his house. He focused his hands once more together and aimed them at the hulking behemoth monstrosity moving towards him. Slowly, a beam of pink energy began to form between his hands.

"It's PINK? I'm going to have a talk with that beg- oh right, I killed him for his tomato." He began to feel a bit of anticipation as the godlike creature continued its crawl towards him. A blinding flash of light began to envelop around him as he prepared to shoot the magical teleportation bolt at his most hated rival. "It's not supposed to do that!" He looked up into the sky at the writing that somehow said what he was good at. "NO! My alteration skill isn't high enough!"

The spell began to overcharge. Time around Dovahkiin began to slow and the world began to distort. The last thing Dovahkiin saw was the Mudcrab staring at him with smugness on its expressionless face. Don't ask how that makes any sense, it just does! The only regret that Dovahkiin had as he started to disappear was that he didn't get to kill his rival.

"My wife better not get a single gold piece from my death!" His final wish was heard by a nearby pig, who later came to be the high king of Skyrim. So no, his wife never got a single gold piece. With a violent explosion, the Dovahkiin disappeared to a place unknown.