//------------------------------// // Chapter 17: Psionic Eclipsed // Story: Of Archon Toilets and Bioballs // by MiniPsyker //------------------------------// "Star Swirl the Bearded is only the most important conjurer of the pre-classical era." Twilight ranted, dressed in... Something, while walking with Spike behind her redundantly dressed as a dragon. "He created more than 200 spells! He even has a shelf in the Canterlot library of magic named after him. Maybe I should start up a pony group to teach ponies about history. I bet everypony would love it! Don't you, Spike?" "I'll love it." He spoke with his mouth filled with candy, right before accidentally hitting Twilight who stopped walking and falling to his back. "Hey look, we're here already!" Twilight stated, now in the middle of the festival. "Should we get something to eat?" Then spike burped. "Boo." A ghost covered in a blanket startlet Twilight just as he decloaked. Then a marine with his armor painted as a power ranger thanks to his base red colour, a Marauder dressed in American football gear, and Mike arrived. Mike wasn't dressed, however. "Well look who's here..." Twilight muttered while regaining her composure. "Wait, where's you costume?" "Some ponies said my mere presence was scary enough." "And you took that as a compliment instead of an insult..." She muttered to herself without anyone hearing. Then, Kra'Ser arrived. He was without costume too, just his High Templar armor, seeing as he received the same 'compliment' as mike from the ponies. With him arrived an Archon dressed as a mobile disco ball, a sentry as a General Lee, and a zealot dressed in a sterotypical disco fashioned, fancy suit and afro included. "Amusing." Kra'Ser mentioned while looking around, seeing as he never even knew about this kind of festivity. "Twilight, Twilight! Look at our haul!" Pinkie Pie rushed towards her with a few other fillies, showing all the candy they got. "Can you believe it?!" She now began eating like a chicken. Noise and all. However, she didn't realize Rainbow Dash in a Shadowbolt costume was creeping around with a black cloud. "And then, we went to Cheerilee's house, and got a bunch more goodies. Didn't we, Pip?" "Sure did!" "And then, we had to stop and wait for Granny Smith, and-" Rainbow Dash was ready to strike her cloud and let out a thunderbolt, but Kra'Ser, upon seeing this and wanting a quick laugh, sighed to himself and snapped his fingers. A psionic storm harmlessly engulfed Rainbow Dash, scaring her, Pinkie Pie and the others away. However, Mike's natural reaction to psionic storms and their characteristic noise caused him and the ghost to aim their guns loaded with EMPs at the Templar. Of course, they lowered them afterwards. Kra'Ser laughed to himself. "That wasn't very nice." Twilight sighed. She'd have told that to Rainbow Dash, but seeing as Kra'Ser was the one who ultimately caused the fright, she directed it at him. "I know." He said, still calmly laughing to himself. "Look what you did to Spike." Spike was chocking himself to death. Then Mike arrived, furiously executed an elbow drop on his stomach, and saved his life by causing the candy to be shot out of his throat. "Happy Nightmare Night, Applejack!" Twilight greeted Applejack, with the group following her. "Howdy Spike, hey Twilight! Nice costumes." The Terrans and the Protoss gave a thumbs up to her in response. Well, at least those who actually had thumbs. "With that beard, I reckon you're some sorta country music singer." She stated while messing with Twilight's beard. Twilight sighed, and Spike laughed. "While y'all here, ya' feel like bobbin' for an apple?" She offered while pointing at a wooden tub filled with green water or whatever it was, with apples floating on it. A pony was about to bite one, only for another pony to come out of the tub with a protoss probe on it's head making its characteristic "I AM IN DANGER" sound. Then, on another part of the festival, a crowd cheered an applauded at Mayor Mare, who was dressed like a clown. Literally. How they clapped to begin with was uncertain, they didn't even have hands. "Thank you, everypony, and welcome to the Nightmare Night festival! Now all the little ponies who have been out collecting sweets should follow our friend Zecora to hear the legend of Nightmare Moon!" The cheering and clapping was now replaced by the loading and cocking of every single Terran's guns. They know what happened with Nightmare Moon. "Did something happen?" Kra'Ser questioned. He wasn't even in the same plane of existence when the event took place. Mike sighed, took out a USB pendrive from his pocket, and ramming it against the back of his head. In Kra'Ser's eyes the replay of what happened in that day started playing. From a green cloud Zecora appeared and stepped forwards. "Follow me and very soon you'll hear the tale of Nightmare Moon." At this point they were near a forest, in front of a statue of Nightmare Moon. "Listen close my little dears, and I'll tell you--" "Hey you're that one that turned us into infested terrans!!" A random marine stated. Kind of a miracle that the marine was still alive since then. "...Right. Listen close my little dears, and I'll tell you where you got your fears of Nightmare Night, so dark and scary." She took out a green powder and dispersed it in the sky with her breath, which took the form of Nightmare Moon. "Of Nightmare Moon, who makes you wary." 'Nightmare Moon' now charged towards the group, only to be intercepted by a flying barracks with a truck honk sounding. Of course, since it wasn't a solid creature, the barracks kept its course until it crashlanded on the ground. Not that it wasn't expected anyways. "Since when did you manage to weaponize a building?" Kra'Ser asked Mike. Mike only shrugged. "Every year, we put on a disguise, to save ourselves, from her searching eyes." The terrans aimed their guns at the green dust which hid 'Nightmare Moon', only to be revealed that it was Zecora behind it. Zecora rolled her eyes upon being greeted by dozens of guns and kept on narrating. "But Nightmare Moon wants just one thing. To gobble up ponies in one quick swing. Hungrily, she soars the sky. If she sees nopony, she passes by. So if she comes and all is clear, Equestria is safe another year!" "Uh, Miss Zecora," Pipsqueak asked, "if we wear costumes to hide from Nightmare Moon, so she won't gobble us up, how come we still need to give her some of our candy?" "A perfect question, my little friend. For Nightmare Moon you must not offend." At this point, the green dust 'Nightmare Moon' returned, now creeping towards the group. "Fill up her belly with a treat or two, so she won't return to come eat you!" The dust charged towards the group with her mouth wide open and her teeth showing. However, a siege tank arrived rolling full speed and counter-charge Nightmare Moon, using the uneven terrain as a makeshift ramp to send itself slightly above the air. A flying tank. Of course, nothing happened since it was mere dust and the siege tank remained in its place, with Mike opening the hatch and popping out of it. "So... These things weren't Nightmare Moon?" He asked, dumbfounded. "No. They were not." Twilight answered, irritated. Mike sighed and lowered his sight. But following that, the clouds in the skies formed into a spiral with the wind blowing and leaves flying. A strange light illuminated the skies and out of it a chariot appeared, flying down to the ground. Everyone was worried due to this not being expected. Except for Mike, Kra'Ser, and their respective units. "It's Nightmare Moon! Run!" Pinkie Pie yelled before running away, with the ponies following her. "Nice effects there." Mike gave a thumbs up from his tank's hatch. "Yo, K, I'm heading back to get some candy, you in?" "Do I look like I have a mouth to eat candy?" "No." "Meh." Kra'Ser shrugged before heading to the tank. Mike closed the hatch after entering, Kra'Ser sat over the tank and the other Terrans and Protoss followed suit before heading off to Ponyville again. Mike wasn't fazed in the slightest by this, thinking the Nightmare Moon in front of him was just another illusion. Kra'Ser, however, simply didn't understand a single thing that was going on, so he just shrugged it off. Later on, once Mike in his pimp-tank and his pimp-crew arrived in Ponyville, everyone was already frightened beyond imagination. Even the skies were filled with dark clouds. "Ponies said my presence was scary... Hell, never thought it'd be true." Mike mentioned while driving the tank around Ponyville, until he stopped near Twilight. Kra'Ser, the terrans and the protoss got down and mike popped out of the hatch. "Did I miss something?" He asked, only for his attention to be set somewhere else in an instant. The figure that appeared not a few minutes ago. "CITIZENS OF PONYVILLE." Princess Luna, formerly Nightmare Moon, spoke up. Mike, annoyed and still thinking it was a simple illusion, decided to grab a loudspeaker from inside his tank and aim it at her. "WE HAVE GRACED YOUR TINY VILLAGE WITH OUR PRESENCE, SO THAT YOU MIGHT BEHOLD THE REAL PRINCESS OF THE NIGHT!" "I AM THE NIGHT." Mike yelled, quoting Batman. Luna was quite confused. "THOU ART QUESTIONING MY CLAIM?" "STOP TALKING IN YE OLDE ENGLISHE. WHAT ARE YOU, A JESTER?" Luna narrowed her eyes in both confusion and slight annoyance. "Mike!" Twilight whispered to him. "WHAT?" Mike answered with another question, firing his loudspeaker at point blank range. "She's Princess Luna! Show some respect!!" "I AIN'T SHOWING NO RESPECT TO SOME BUNCH OF DUST. ITS AN ILLUSION." "It's not!!" Luna decided to continue, thinking it was something about Nightmare Moon causing this. "A CREATURE ON NIGHTMARE IS NO LONGER, BUT INSTEAD A PONY WHO DESIRES YOUR LOVE AND ADMIRATION! TOGETHER WE SHALL CHANGE THIS DREADFUL CELEBRATION INTO A BRIGHT AND GLORIOUS FEAST!" "HOLY HELL A TALKING ILLUSION, BUT SERIOUSLY, WHERE ARE THE GIANT SPEAKERS HIDDEN? IT MUST--zkzkzkkzkzkzkzkzkkkzk--" The loudspeaker malfunctioned. Mike tried fixing it the true Terran way: By shaking it around and smashing it against the top of his tank. It didn't work. Seeing as it was a lost cause, and still thinking Luna was an illusion, he decided to throw his loudspeaker at her to prove everyone that it wasn't real. He threw it and it flew in the air, arcing over the distance until it finally impacted against her horn. "AUGH!! HOW DARE YOU?!" Luna exclaimed in pain. Mike had a blank expression in his face, mostly because he was still processing information in his brain, of how it didn't fall through her instead of impacting. Every pony was also petrified at what Mike had done, every pony in the brink of passing out. Twilight too was with shock in her expression. The Terran forces too, they thought the same as Mike. However, the zealot, archon and sentry were just dancing around to the sound of funk. Kra'Ser was trying to figure out what was going on. "So..." Mike tried asking, coughing. "You are... The real thing?" "YOU JUST HIT ME WITH A LOUDSPEAKER, FOOL." "I see..." He stated, still dumbstruck. "I'll take that as a yes, then..." An awkward silence engulfed Ponyville for what appeared to be ten minutes, nobody moving a single muscle, Luna annoyed, and Mike trying to figure out what to do. Twilight was still shocked at what Mike had done. "..." "..." "..." "CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!!!!" Mike yelled with the fury of ten thousand supernovas. Contrary to the first battle against Nightmare Moon, not only flying barracks and seas of marines joined Mike's charge against Luna, but the entire Terran arsenal. Every ground vehicle, every infantry, every air vehicle, every flying building, and even a random guy named Tom. Luna, remembering what happened long ago, began running for her life. It could be said that no less than five billion minerals and gas were depleted in a split second creating the army that was now chasing Luna. Even the sound of Metal drowned the thunderous marching of the great army. "Is this supposed to be normal around here?" Kra'Ser asked Twilight. He received no reply. "I don't want to set the world on fire..." Kra'Ser sung to the tune of the song that was playing while flying his Phoenix, with Twilight as his passenger. "I just want to start... A flame in your heart..." 'At least this one doesn't listen to ear-crushing music...' She thought to herself. Then, he changed the music to a more upbeat type, one that would be close to Mike's taste. 'Why did I even bother...' "Found her." He stated, looking at the scenery below. There were Terran forces everywhere, millions upon millions, even the earth could be felt shaking from the sky. A red sea of metal and lead. But in the forest, out of sight of anyone on foot and in the skies, he could see Luna walking aimlessly. He began lowering altitude until he finally descended into the forest. Luna was at first startled by Kra'Ser's Phoenix, but realized it wasn't Mike's, nor anything she had seen before. Kra'Ser opened the hatch and both him and Twilight got out, greeting Luna. "Princess Luna?" Twilight spoke. "Feels like an earthquake." Kra'Ser stated. Mike's forces were too close for comfort. "Hi, my name is--" "Star Swirl the Bearded. Commendable costume! Thou even got the bells right..." She spoke with her loudspeaker-in-throat-mode enabled. "Thank you, finally! Somepony who gets my costume! Uh, I just came to welcome you to our celebration! My actual name is-" "Twilight Sparkle." She interrupted. "IT WAS THOU WHO--" "Keep it down." Kra'Ser pressured her. "You don't want any of Mike's men to hear you, right?" "...It was thou who unleashed the powers of harmony upon us and took away our dark powers!" "And that was a good thing, right?" Twilight questioned. "But of course. We could not be happier. Is that not clear?" "Well, you kinda sound like you're yelling at me." "But this is the traditional royal Canterlot voice! It is tradition to speak, using the royal "we", and TO USE THIS MUCH VOLUME WHEN ADDRESSING OUR SUBJECTS!!" "Hey guys!! I think I found her!!" A random Terran voice could be heard. "Aaaand they found us." Kra'Ser sighed. "Get in the Phoenix, we're leaving before they get here." "You know, that might explain why your appearance was met with... mixed results." Twilight kept discussing while getting in the Phoenix with Luna and Kra'Ser before ascending to the skies. "I think if you just changed your approach a bit, you might be met with a warmer reception." "CHANGE OUR APPROACH?" "GAAAH" Kra'Ser lost control of his phoenix for a second before regaining it. "DON'T YELL IN MY EAR!!" "Lower the volume..?" Twilight suggested. "Ohhh. We have been locked away for a thousand years. We are... not sure we can." "Kra'Ser, get us to Fluttershy's home." "You got it." The templar answered. "What about Mike and the Terrans?" Luna questioned. "I'll deal with them if things get ugly." Kra'Ser reassured her. After a visit to Fluttershy and leaving the poort pony traumatized... "She stole Fluttershy's voice so she can't scream when she GOBBLES HER UP!!!" Pinkie Pie screamed upon seeing Luna with Fluttershy, almost unconscious, in her arms. "Fantastic." Kra'Ser sighed. "Where to next?" What Kra'Ser didn't see, however, were three marines right around the corner, having already spotted Luna. They tried to make a run for it, only to be intercepted by a zealot and a stalker. Of course, the marines died once Kra'Ser realized what just happened. Twilight narrowed her eyes in slight fright by what Kra'Ser's protoss did, but regained her composure afterwards. "Well, everypony else is in Ponyville, so I guess we have to go there. But the Terrans--" "Purge Ponyville of Terrans, got it." Kra'Ser aknowledged before warping away. "No, wait!!" Her attempts were futile. He was already gone. "This... Won't be good..." Afterwards, Luna and Twilight arrived in Ponyville, already expecting the worse to happen. Lo and behold, carcasses of Terran infantry and vehicles, some split in half by the zealots, others full of holes by the stalkers, others incinerated by the archons, colossi and psionic storms, the village was purged of Terrans alright. However, every pony was more frightened by Luna than by the massacre. Kra'Ser was sitting in a campfire next to other two zealots, the three toasting some marshmellows with the campfire being fueled by a dead marine on fire. Of course, once they realized they had no mouths, they reluctantly threw the marshmallows away. "It is of no use, Twilight Sparkle. They have never liked us and they never shall." Luna sighed. "My friend Applejack is one of the most likeable ponies around. I'm sure she'll have some ideas." After a visit to Applejack and an unfortunate incident... "Nightmare Moon is gobbling Pipsqueak! Everypony run!" Pinkie Pie screamed before running away with the others. "Someone call Mike!!" A pony yelled. Lo and behold, four barracks descended from the skies and dug themselves into the ground in ponyville. The fifth one accidentally deepstriking into the town hall. "Oh boy..." Twilight muttered, knowing what was going to happen. Right before marines started pumping out mercilessly, the protoss forces successfully destroyed the barracks, but it wasn't over yet, for the main Terran force was arriving, the earth shaking to the point of almost splitting wide open. In the horizon the Red Army could already be seen moving full speed towards them. Kra'Ser sighed, stood up and began moving to the outskirts of Ponyville in the direction of the tide, with hundreds upon hundreds of protoss forces warping in all over the village. Zealots, Stalkers and Templars, both High ones and Dark ones. "I'll deal with this. You two just... Go around and do whatever you were going to do." Kra'Ser mentioned with slight boredom. In the outskirts of ponyville, the two forces met face to face. Millions of Terrans, against hundreds, a thousand at most, of Protoss. The Terrans stopped once they saw the protoss blocking their path, now questioning their presence. "Kra'Ser, move. I'm here for Nightmare Moon. Oh hey, that rhymes..." "No." "THEN PAY WITH YOUR BLOOD, CHAAAAAAARGE!!" "Short tempered as always." Kra'Ser muttered while slowly shaking his head with his arms crossed. He and the protoss forces calmly, as if ignoring the danger, just moved into position to brace the impact. The million terrans shook the earth, charging full speed towards the protoss, moving closer and closer every second. The Protoss were now in position, just waiting until the impact. Then, it happened. Just before the Red tide struck against the Blue Protoss, the High Templars created a psionic storm that engulfed great part of their frontal forces. Almost a thousand died that instant, forcing the Terrans to back off their charge and actually think of a plan instead of A-moving their deathball. "Is this how you always do things here?" Kra'Ser questioned with amusement. The Terrans moved, allowing their siege tanks to move to the front and enter siege mode. Their artillery shells fell upon the protoss, who advanced forward due to being forced into the engagement. Their immortals led the charge, and upon moving close enough the High Templars and Colossi dealt with the infantry, while the immortals shot the tanks. However, Mike's forces took the opportunity and flanked Kra'Ser's army with their incredible numbers and surrounded them. Vikings moved in to deal with the collossi, shooting down most of them before the stalkers realized that they had to shoot the vikings down. The battle seemed lost for the protoss before a mothership that just entered the fray casted a vortex upon them. The second wave of protoss, freshly warped-in in ponyville, struck the terrans and dug into the vortex as it dissipated, successfully preventing themselves from being surrounded and backing off. Mike, upon realizing his tremendous mistake, sent ghosts to EMP Kra'Ser's forces while cloaked. The red army distracted Kra'Ser with several flanking maneuvers and other tactics, allowing the cloaked ghosts to move in and EMP every protoss, be it zealot, stalker, immortal and even templars. Now the entire blue army was left without shields nor energy. The ghosts' energy was depleted too, and Kra'Ser knew this. Kra'Ser sent zealots and stalkers in front to take the blunt of Mike's damage, while backing off his templars and merging them into archons. Seeing as most of Mike's forces were biological, the Archons would deal tremendous damage against them. Mike couldn't do anything to prevent it: The archons finally merged and joined the fray, but the amount of weapons on either side caused no one to push forward nor to fall back. It was a stalemate with reinforcements arriving on both sides preventing attrition from being a deciding factor. The battle took great part of the night. The land changed control from one side to the other no less than 30 times, such was the ferocity of both sides. Both commanders were impressed by the other's tactical knowledge and unwillingness to give up ground. For nearly two hours was the earth witnessing the bloodshed, until a certain pony walked up to Kra'Ser. "You need something?" Kra'Ser questioned, still focusing on commanding his forces. "The problem about Luna was solved." She stated. Kra'Ser turned around and saw Ponyville took part in the festivies with Luna in there. He had been far too busy in the battle the last hours to realize what had happened, like Luna cancelling Nightmare Night after everyone became too afraid of her and everything being fixed afterwards. "Mike's still going to kill her. Well, as far as 'kill' goes with non-lethality." "I know. I came up with something already. I need you to find a way to force Mike to be without his forces, alone. I just need him not to be able to fight back, alright?" "Hmm... Difficult, but possible." He affirmed. Then, he focused on the battle. "YOU SUCK, MIKE!!" He yelled. The plan worked, he could hear Mike yelling at the top of his lungs charging forwards with his rifle. Kra'Ser purposefully allowed the Terrans to drive a wedge into his forces, and once Mike and the terrans were closed enough, the mothership created a vortex upon him, swallowing whoever was close too, like another hundred terrans. The protoss now pushed forwards and cut the Terrans down with ferocity of psionic storms while the archons cannon-balled their way into the vortex. After the vortex dissipated, Mike and the other surviving terrans were shot out. Everyone was killed by the archons, except for Mike, who survived, and was now on the ground. Archons who were as tall as buildings were staring at him, until two moved out of the way to reveal Kra'Ser walking with another strange figure. The strange figure moved its head closer and closer, almost contacting with Mike's gasmask. "Your nightmares will never end..." It said in a low voice, echoing in the village. Mike now had a heart attack and fell unconscious. If not dead. "That was... Fast." Kra'Ser mentioned. "Once he wakes up I think we can tell him that Luna is no longer Nightmare Moon. If this doesn't leave him with a trauma, that is." Twilight spoke with amusement. "Oh most wonderful of nights." Luna stated, knowing that one of her troubles was now potentially gone. Dear Princess Celestia, When you first sent me to Ponyville, I didn't know anything about friendship. I met somepony tonight who was having the same problem - your sister, Princess Luna! She taught me that one of the best things you can do with friendship is to give it to others, and help them find it themselves! And I'm happy to report that all of Ponyville has learned that even if somepony seems a little intimidating, even scary, when you offer them your friendship, you'll discover a whole new pony underneath. And even if that intimidating somepony ends up being chased by an intimidating someone all over the place, you can always ask another intimidating someone to keep him at bay. And even if my Star Swirl the Bearded costume didn't go over, this still turned out to be the best Nightmare Night ever! "So you mean to tell me that Nightmare Moon--" Mike asked, interrupted by Twilight. "Princess Luna." "Princess Luna wasn't a danger after all?" "Nah." Kra'Ser answered. "Why didn't you just tell me in the beginning?!" Twilight was speechless, realizing that such a tremendous war could've been avoided by just plainly telling him. "Where's the fun in that?" Kra'Ser answered again. Now Twilight sighed in irritation, seeing as the idiots were doubled.