I feel so hungry. Why has my hunger grown so insatiable? I need love, or at least some food.
What time is it anyway? I look out the window to see the full moon high in the sky. Midnight, it is midnight and I have gotten the munchies.
I stumbled out of my bed, I freeze as Twilight snorted in her sleep. She seemed to settle back down after a few moments. I crept down the stairs, careful not to wake her or her pet dragon up. I head into the kitchen, hoping that I could find something to eat. After searching the fridge and cupboards in the kitchen I only found a hooful of rubies in the pantry. Why is that in the kitchen anyway? Can ponies eat rubies now?
I tried to wrap my sleep addled mind around why there were gemstones in the pantry. I hadn’t gotten far before giving up completely. My stomach growled at me again. Ug, I needed either a huge helping of love, or an even bigger helping of hay fries.
Where in the hay can I find either of those this early in the morning? I decided that I might as well explore the town, maybe there would be someplace open where I can get food.
I slunk to the front door and slipped into the cool fresh air. I walked down the empty street at a slow but steady pace, looking around for any place that was open at this time of night.
I could tell that it was getting close to fall, I could feel the crisp coldness through my coat. How long was I unconscious after the attack on Canterlot? It felt to me like it was only a couple of days ago, but it must have been longer than that. Wasn’t the attack in the spring? That didn’t make sense. That would mean I was unconscious for months.
My train of thought was halted abruptly by a warm pressure on my suddenly pressing down on my back. I grunted in surprise.
“Hi Covey!” said a cheery and all too familiar voice.
I turned my head around to come face to face with Pinkamena. She had her forearms hooked across my back and had a calm smile on her face.
I took a deep breath before speaking in a slow and very low voice, “Pinkamena, what are you doing on my back?”
Pinkamena took a deep breath, “Well, I went to bed after making some awesomerific cupcakes and just as I was going to sleep I felt my scalp itch and shoulder twitch and I knew that somepony close to me was shivering, I looked towards Gummy and saw that he was tucked into his bed so I knew it couldn’t be him and all of the cakes were asleep so I knew it couldn’t be them, so I just knew that it must have been somepony around Sugarcube Corner, cause my window causes a pretty cold breeze to come into my room, and then I thought that the cupcakes might be the ones getting chilly, and so I stopped what I was doing and ran over to them, but I now know that was silly because cupcakes aren’t ponies and even if they were they wouldn’t shiver, I would know because Rocky or Madam le Flour never ever shiver, even when they are in cold storage, and if they can’t shiver then I doubt cupcakes would too. What was your question again?”
I blinked a few times in rapid succession, I didn’t register much of what she said since she was talking too fast. I asked the mare once more why she was on my back.
“Oh it is because you looked cold, and since I didn’t have a blanket on me I decided to cover you up in a makeshift ‘Pinkie blanket’.” She told me, beaming and pulling me closer to her chest. I could feel the warmth radiating off her body. I stared at her for a bit, unsure of what to do. She in return just smiled back at me and snuggled into my back further.
I could feel the waves of warmth and better yet, affection coming off this pony. It tasted sweet, but not unbearably so. We stood there for a minute or two, me both feeding on her affection like a vampony would suck blood, and enjoying the heat her body gave off.
It was then that I realised who I was letting snuggle me in the middle of the night, she was the enemy. I went for the first excuse I could think of, “Pinkamena, you’re kind of heavy…”
This was a lie, she oddly enough weighed about as much as I think an average mare would. Despite all the sweets she probably ate.
“Oh, I’m sorry Covey, I didn’t mean to squish you!” the pink pony exclaimed. She got off of my back and I turned to face her properly. She looked insanely happy, I have no idea why.
“So, Pinkie, you came out here because you knew I was cold?” I asked the mare not quite believing what she was selling me.
“Yep!” She responded. I had a feeling she would be a difficult nut to crack.
“Wouldn’t your room be on the second floor of Sugarcube Corner?” I inquire, as I glared at her intently, trying to burrow into the very depths of her soul to find the truth. Was she spying on me? Maybe it’s not me specifically but the whole of Ponyville, she’s probably trying to get every pony under her tyrannical hoof! Maybe she is not a earth pony at all! Maybe she’s a unicorn with her horn chopped off!
“My Pinkie sense told me silly.” She shook her head as if what I had just asked her was so obvious that a foal would know the answer.
“What the hay is a Pinkie sense!?”
“It’s all the little twitches and tinglies I get that help me predict the future.” Pinkamena explained.
I was silent for a moment, “ Are you sure you are not a unicorn or something?”
“Nopey-wopey”, Pinkamena then grabbed my hoof and started rubbing it on her forehead and through her fluffy mane. “See, no horn.”
She let go of my hoof and I immediately pulled that hoof up to my chest in case she made another lunge for it.
“Hey, you look like you’re still shivering.” the pink earth pony observed, although it was possible I was just shaking, because I could have sworn I was violated in some way. “How about we head to my place for some hot cocoa?!”
I didn’t really think of my response however, and my brain agreed before I had a chance to process what she asked. I was promptly dragged to Sugarcube Corner.
Now I was deep into enemy lines without a map to get back out. I had been dragged up to Pinkie’s room, and she then started whispering about I don’t know what. It had been at least thirty minutes and I don’t think she paused to take a breath once. It freaked the crap out of me, figuratively speaking of course.
“Uh Pinkamena…” I tried to interrupt the bubbly mare.
“…but then Twilight was all like ‘I don’t think that’s how science works Pinkie’ and I was all like, ‘I know how science works Twi! If I didn’t then I wouldn’t have been able to invent the machine in the first place…” she was so engrossed in telling her story that she didn’t even hear me.
“Pinkie…” I tried once more to have a say.
“… Well I probably overdid it on the nitroglycerin, but how do you power a robot without extremely reactive chemicals…”
“Pinkie!” I hissed.
“Yes Covey?” she batted her eyelashes at me, probably trying to look innocent.
“When you dragged me here (quite literally) for a cup of hot cocoa, I didn’t expect to be told your life story.” I deadpanned.
“Oh right, I completely forgot!” the pink pony exclaimed, “I’ll go make some up!” With that the mare hopped out of her bedroom and down the stairs, somehow not making a sound.
I closed the door and scanned around the room, if I was going to be stuck in that crazy mare’s home, I might as well see if I can find anything to use against her. Either then setting fire to all the sugar in a ten mile radius of the mare I couldn’t think of any off the bat.
I kept an ear open as I searched Pinkamena’s room in case she came back unexpectedly. In plain sight there was a large pink bed and a small table with a few party decorations spread haphazardly on it. The pink walls and floor had streamers covering them, and the only other object in the room was a tiny basket with a purple cloth over top of it.
I decided to look under the bed to see if she hid anything under there like Dash did. I was utterly disappointed when I found that there was nothing under there.
I checked under the table, either than a few balloons and a wrench I found absolutely nothing, although I did wonder why Pinkamena had a wrench.
Lastly I walked over to the basket, listening for any noises outside the door as I walked towards it. I wondered what was taking Pinkamena so long with the hot cocoa. I knelt down next to the basket, and with my hoof lifted a tiny corner of the warm cloth. I tried to peek inside, but as soon as I stuck my nose near the opening, something clamped onto my muzzle and refused to let go.
I yelped in surprise, standing up and trying to shake whatever it was off of me. It was a futile effort. Suddenly, Pinkamena re-entered the room.
“Hey, I see you met Gummy!” She exclaimed. I looked down to see that what had attached to me was a small green alligator that fortunately had no teeth. Although it did have a creepy stare that seemed to pierce my very soul.
After what seemed like hours, the miniature alligator let go of me and fell back into the basket, curling itself back up in the blankets.
I turned to Pinkamena and noticed that she had already put a couple cups filled with hot cocoa on the table, and in her hooves was a pan of cupcakes with white frosting, they were so fresh that there was steam coming off of them. She shoved them in my direction.
“Here, I made these special just for you!” Pinkamena exclaimed with glee.
“Um, how did you make those cupcakes so fast?” I asked, confused as to how she was able to bake goods in less than 10 minutes.
“I set the oven to a thousand degrees so it cooked faster.” She explained. I was pretty sure baking didn’t work like that.
I looked down at the cupcakes, briefly wondering whether or not it was poisoned. I looked back up to see Pinkamena’s brilliant blue eyes, almost pleading me to take one. So I had to swallow my insecurities once again in order to not arouse suspicion.
I reach out with my right hoof and grab the closest cupcake. I slowly unwrapped the paper that helped give the cupcakes form with my teeth. I can finally see that the cake part of the cupcake is brown, presumably chocolate. I see past the cupcake to the look of expectation and anticipation on the pink mare’s face. I steeled my reserve and took a nibble out of one of the sides.
Remember how I stated that to changelings, even the healthiest pony food tasted greasy and disgusting? Well these cupcakes tasted like ambrosia. After my first bite I scarfed the rest of the row in two gulps. I went through three more cupcakes before I got a hold of myself.
“Pinkie, these things are delicious! They are sweet, but not sickeningly so. I could eat these all day and not feel so much as a stomach ache!” Okay, so maybe I was still pretty out of it. I had just never tasted pony food that actually tasted good. My mind was blown. “What did you put in them?” I asked, taking another cupcake as I did so.
Pinkie smiled. Not a Pinkie beam, just a nice, calm smile. I knew I should’ve felt a little weirded out by that, but between the cupcakes and the affection I could feel seeping off of her, I didn’t care. What she said though made me pause.
“Well I made them with lots of love.” She eventually stated, calmly, almost serene.
My latest cupcake stopped from entering my mouth at the last moment by my sheer awe at the pink pony. “Can you actually do that? I thought that was just a figure of speech.”
“You can’t fill cupcakes with actual love silly! I just put my super-secret special ingredient in.”
“Oh” Well I felt a little naïve, here I was actually hoping that I could get her to bake me some love brownies or something. “Well what did you put in it?” I ask, shoving the cupcake that was in my hoof into my face.
“Now what kinda super special secret would it be if I told you all about it?” Pinkie asked rhetorically. At least I assume she was being rhetorical. She seemed to be giving me a look suggesting either wise so I guessed she wasn’t.
“Um, not a very good one?” I ventured. She beamed at me once more.
“Exactly! If I told trade secrets to everypony then the cakes would go out of business!” Pinkie seems to ponder this for a moment before continuing “…or that’s what they say would happen at least.”
I look at her puzzled, and reach for another cupcake only to find that I had eaten them all. Pinkie put the empty tray on the ground beside the table and beckoned me over, I sat on the side of the table closest to the bed while she sat across from me and sipped her cocoa.
I look down at the swirling brown in front of me and take a tentative sip, now it wasn’t quite as good as the cupcakes, but it still tasted pretty good. I was surprised.
“So Covey, “I jumped a little as Pinkie addressed me, with her eyes half lidded and a small smirk on her face. “Do you have anypony that you’re interested in?”
Well I wasn’t sure why she asked that out of the blue.
“What do you mean is there anypony I’m interested in?” I asked her warily.
She leaned across the table so far that she was practically lying on top of it. “I mean do you have a special somepony silly!”
I took a nervous step back from the mare. “Um… no, I don’t really have one.” I reply with a hint of caution.
“Ooooh! Really?!” Pinkie exclaimed, she was now over the table and was slowly walking over to me. I could see her hips sashaying as she walked and her Pink poufy tail swishing back and forth behind her.
I took a few steps back, I knew that look on the mare’s face, Even though my memories before my liberation from the hive mind were hazy, I could still remember countless mares striding towards me like this. It was like Pinkie was in a trance. I backed up further and further from the mare, but she seemed to be gaining ground. My eyes were strangely locked on hers and I could not tear myself away. All I could do was move back.
Eventually, my rear hit the wall and I could not flee any farther. Pinkie closed the distance between us and stood with her muzzle less than an inch from mine. I could feel her hot breath on my nose as she stood there, staring into my eyes.
“I really like you Covey…” The pink mare breathed, I felt paralyzed as she closed the distance between us slowly. That was until our lips met.
Her lips tasted exactly as her cupcakes did, except since all I could feel from the gesture was immense affection it tasted even better. After a moment, I unconsciously leaned into her kiss, one of my hooves bringing itself to her cheek. The other one was draped around her neck for balance since my body seemed invested in this kiss like I was going to die of starvation if I didn’t get it.
Pinkie meanwhile was moaning slightly as she pressed up against me, it made me wonder if I tasted as good as she did. I was midway through this thought when I felt a hoof stroke itself along my back. It felt nice to be honest. She slowly made her way down my back, and I was getting a little nervous of where this was going, but I couldn’t stop because she tasted too damn good.
That was until she touched my wings. Immediately they sprung open, and I pushed off of her in surprise. I seemed to push too hard however and ended up flinging my top half up and losing my balance. I was quickly falling backwards, and I tried to swing my arms and flap my wings to fall back on my hooves but I was too far gone. I felt myself tipping farther and farther until I couldn’t stay up at all. I briefly felt myself falling, only for it to stop a moment later when something latched onto my tail. The back of my head hit something hard and I felt like passing out. I luckily remained conscious. Though now noted I was outside and upside down. I looked through my legs to see that Pinkie had grabbed me by my tail and was pulling me back into her house through the window.
Chrysalis damn windows, it’s not the six ponies that turn out to have a thing against me, no. Windows seem to be my arch-nemesis.
I feel myself being dragged up the side of the house and back inside Pinkie’s room. Once all the way inside, Pinkie is babbling something that I can’t quite make out, my brain was getting hazy all of a sudden.
I held a hoof to my head and tried to steady it while Pinkie kept talking and talking, I would have probably not made any of it out even if I wasn’t fighting for consciousness. I felt something in my body flicker and die out. I felt confused and my addled brain tried to piece together what was going on. Luckily it came to me quickly.
My disguise finally decided to drop, right in front of the loudmouthed element of Laughter.
Before I knew it adrenaline started pumping through my veins, time seemed to slow to a standstill and everything suddenly became very clear. I looked at Pinkie and saw a tear stained face of sorrow, turn into one of complete shock. I knew what was going to come, and if I didn’t somehow stop it then my cover would officially be blown and I would be chased out of Ponyville, probably by a bloodthirsty mob.
I pounced on the pink pony, and with one fluid motion, pinned her onto her back with one of my hooves in her mouth. Luckily for me, it was only a second after I placed the hoof over her mouth that she let out her muffled scream. The mare tried to kick and flail and try to buck me off of her, but with the vast amount of adrenaline running through me I was able to hold down the earth pony.
“Shhh!” I instinctively whispered to the mare, although if the situation were reversed I probably wouldn’t listen to my captor shushing me.
After a few attempts I felt her wiggling slowly die down and the vibrations from her scream stop reverberating against my carapace. My silken wings buzzed slightly as I stood there, trying to catch my breath.
The pink mare was looking up at me with eyes full of hurt and hate. I hated hate, it tasted rotten and sour. I didn’t want to look into those big blue eyes right now, but I knew that if I lost focus for even a moment, she would break free and everything would be over.
I took a deep breath and whispered to her “Pinkie, I need you to promise not to yell, or run away and just listen to me okay? I’ll only let you go if you promise to keep your voice down and not tell a soul that I’m a changeling.” I paused to think for a moment, “Not only that but I want you to actively protect my identity as being a changeling from being discovered.” I know I was laying it on a bit thick, but I was sort of panicking and she was kinda my prisoner. At least I think she was technically.
After a long while Pinkie looked nervous before nodding her head. I almost let out a sigh of relief before I thought that maybe a regular old promise will suffice. I had to be sure.
“Pinkie, I need you to Pinkie promise to me that you will protect me and my true identity,” after a brief pause I thought of something genius to add to the ultimatum. If you were going to issue an ultimatum, you had better go all out. “And, you have to help me to get revenge on you and the rest of your friends.”
Pinkie’s eyes widened in surprise, after less than a second she shook her head no.
Damn, I was going to have to compromise wasn’t I? How could I get this pony on board? I need to sweeten the deal, make her an offer that she can’t refuse.
I grit my teeth a little as I produced a counter offer.
“Fine, if you Pinkie promise to help protect me and get revenge on your friends, then I’ll Pinkie promise that I will not cause them any physical harm.”
The mare lay there, deep in thought. After what felt like an eternity she looked me right in the eye and nodded.
I sighed in relief, “Okay, here’s how this is going to work, I’m going to get off of you and then we will both make the promise. If you scream or try to run away from it then I will… do something very unpleasant to you.” I honestly didn’t know what I would do if the mare had bolted, but she seemed to agree with what I said with a firm nod of her head.
I jumped off of the mare and she sprung up like a … well, like a spring. We looked each other in the eye, and said the magic words that bound us both to our fate.
“Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” We both said in unison, with me flinching a bit as I poked my eye.
Now she had to help me with my revenge and help me stay hidden. In turn, I had to vow to not harm her friends physically.
It looks like things just got more interesting for me at least.
I finally started to feel the adrenaline leaving my body, I don’t know how it lasted so long, but I felt like I just ran a marathon, not to mention the throbbing in my head that quickly was overwhelming me. I dropped to me knees in pain, clutching my head.
The last thing I remember feeling before I blacked out from the pain was a pair of soft arms wrapping around me. The last thing I thought was…
I bucking hate windows.