I do not own my little pony, I don’t even physically own the words on this document.
*The search for the illusive Pie*
This chapter is a short insight into the happenings before the previous chapter
The night was young and so was Pinkie Pie, despite the fact that she called herself ‘auntie’. And no one blamed her, since everything that Pinkie did was well, what Pinkie did. But tonight was the start of a massive party with streamers for starters, and paranoia, fear and panic as the . And everypony was invited.
Pinkie pie was bored, yes she was. If it’s hard to picture then your brain should be working just fine. For Pinkie Pie its was quite impossible to be bored, except if there was no pop-corn. Nothing is fun without pop-corn; but thankfully she had a lot of pop-corn where ever she went. Where she kept it, no pony knew, nor voluntary wanted to. But she was not exactly having a ‘blast’. The carnival was not as lively as before because everypony wanted to see the sun rise, and she had forgotten the party cannon back at Twilight’s house. This was not how the night was supposed to go; in fact it was quite the opposite of her great expectation (having been fed a lot of praise from Twilight’s experiences, of course she forgot Twilight’s idea of fun back then was not...well fun). And she was also alone. Rainbow dash had flow off to find Twilight and so had Apple Jack and Rarity, even Spike and Apple Bloom had decided to follow secretly behind. A pony ninja cutie mark ‘was’ bound to be a awesome cutie mark. So pinkie pie just sat there, whistling a tune to herself. It was one of those tune’s everypony knows by heart but have no idea where it came from. Twilight had spent two infuriating weeks of study trying to find out why, to no avail. Pinkie had finished all remnants of her Candy Cloud(tm), all of her gummy bears (rainbow colored) and was nearing the bottom of her bottomless popcorn bag. She needed something sweet to keep her going until she got hold of her secret candy stash back as Twilight’s house.
So Pinkie Pie sat there and pondered life’s greatest mystery. Where to find something to eat? It was an issue that she faced constantly, and one of the reason’s she loved to bake so much. Pinkie had one theory as to why food seemed to always disappear when she needed it most. She called it the “Pie Rule”. The rule is as follows “The magnitude of a ponies need of food has a inverse relationship the the amount of food that can be found in the immediate area.” The formula looks like this:
Where P means pony, subscript m is that ponies metabolism and H is hunger level. And R is radius of subscript f (food). So the higher the need for food, the less likely you’ll find some, and the less you need it the more likely you’ll find it. And Pinkie Pie really needed something to nourish her black hole of a stomach. Therefore there was no food to be found anywhere. Except for miles and miles away in a park where three ponies, two earth and one unicorn were happily enjoying fresh muffins.
The hunger and lack of sugar was maddening. You’d think that the sugar would make her mad, but in fact it was the other way round. We don’t even want to think about that formula, unless of course you have a super computer lying around. Pinkie Pie was actually becoming “sober”. And she didn’t like it, the world was too dull without the sugar rush. In fact she was losing the ability to see ultraviolet, which was such a wonderful color if you could actually see it. Pinkie tried to bounce around from stall to stall but was reduced to walking, in a straight line. Not even one stall was still open, not one single scrape of candy lay on the ground. And Pinkie Pie was about to make a break for Twilight’s house at this time in the night but something stopped her. It was a pie, or at least a vision of a pie. As it floated calmly by her, the aromatic smell wafting behind it reminded her of somepony. It reminded her of Pie, no not the floating pie somewhere in the sky but her family name. Pie, you put apples in pie, and pineapple and cherries and plums. Oh Plum! Pinkie pie then remembered her uncle Plum. Why do we call him plum pie again? Cause he’s a Pie! And Pie’s can cook! Except for Inkie... I don’t want to even think about the last time she made plum pie. Wait! That’s it! And with speed that would put Rainbow to shame she disappeared.
~
“So umm... Pip?” The trio were sitting on a bench in the park. The lamp nearby shining its warm glow on the immediate area around it. Cheerilee had run out of muffins since she only packed for two and was now wishing she hadn’t halved that recipe.
“Yes, ms Cheerilee-ee-ee-ee-ee?” Pip answered back from under his imaginary “cave” or to more mature ponies “blankets”. He and Dinky were “spelunking” for lost treasures.
“Can I ask you a question-ion-ion-ion?” She called back faking the echo. He whispered something to Dinky and popped his head out of the pile of colorful blankets.
“Of course! Ask away, and hurry other wise Dinky will get lost in the caves!” He really seemed enthusiastic about it. That was one reason she loved teaching.
“I was wondering Pip... Where do you live, if you don’t have any parents?”
“Hmm? Oh! I live in my house!” A house?
“A real house?” Pip does have quite the imagination.
“Well, maybe more like a bungalow. If you don’t count the roof...” He drifted of into thought.
“But if you don’t have parents why are you not staying at the orphanage with Scootaloo?”
“I don’t know... Luna just said I didn’t have too.” Luna! What was the princess’s connection with Pip?
“And how do you know Princess Luna?” Cheerilee was intrigued Pip had such a connection with such a powerful pony at such a young age.
“I saw her at my first Nightmare moon! It was soooo much fun! And she gave me some of her Candy!”
“And me-me-me-me.” A little voice peeped from under the blankets.
“Oh. But that doesn’t explain why you live on your ‘own’ house and not the orphanage...”
“She visits!” he was quick to reply, then added “Alot!” She must be his legal guardian...It’s the only explanation...She thought as Pip disappeared once again below the covers to resume his ‘spelunking’. And she wondered quietly, in the dead of the supposed ‘morning’. Was Dinky offering Pip something she didn’t have the right to offer? Even if it made Cheerilee feel like a thermonuclear Rainboom landed on her heart.
~
When pinkie pie found there was nopony in the kitchen she had half a mind to ransack the place. Well all of her mind but that’s beside the point, because she remembered how protective Plum was of his pies. It was weird but Pinkie understood. So she didn’t ransack the kitchens, and found herself back at square one. Now where to find Plum? Pinkie knew he still was in the palace. He almost never left, no wonder he was head of the kitchen. But where could he have gone...*the following thought pattern is to random to follow and so is being replaced by this more logical explanation of why we can’t follow it. What? You want to see it? You serious? Okay, but it’s your psychiatrist bill. Not mine.* dogs are a canine, canines sound like leylines, leylines are for magic, magic is friendship, friendship is a dogs best man, man is lyra’s imagination, imagination is what causes deaths to numerous amounts of sugar sacks *We will skip the rest for you*
A shiny parasprite appeared above her head. Not even caring about the sudden revelation she received about her uncles whereabouts, she grabbed the parasprite and locked it in a small red and white ball. What? Their rare. Oh fine... “I release you...” As the now claustrophobic parasprite flew away, Pinkie bounced with new energy to the location of her uncle. The signal was confusing but she never doubted her Pinkie sense. As she bounced along the empty halls of the palace she heard the faint voices of two ponies.
“So Celestia, this is your room?” That was her uncle’s voice alright.
“Indeed it is.”
“It’s really beautiful you know that?” Pinkie heard Celestia chuckle.
“I have been told that before yes. And?”
“Oh nothing your Majesty, its just that its not as beautiful as the kitchens.”
“Is that so? I guess I'll have to see for myself.” And For some reason Pinkie pie thought this would be a good time to suddenly appear in Celestia’s room. And all of a sudden she was no longer in the hall. But in Celestia’s cupboard, which coincidentally stood next to her bed. And between it and the door, so as Plum and Celestia walked towards the door, she jumped out at them.
Celestia’s head malfunctioned. And it began to shutdown, again. But not before her brain sent a spastic telekinetic message to a random pony in Equestria. We all know how that went down. And Plum. Well Plum just walked out the door. Then fell down in pure shock. Plum always thought that a stallion shouldn't faint in front of a mare, and a definitely not the goddess of the sun. So as the two ponies lay sleeping on the floor, Pinkie became bored again. Shoot. Oh well. And bounced on in search of food again. As she always did.
Authors note:
I’m so sorry this isn’t what you hoped it would be, and I'm grateful you are still reading this. The next chapter will be a continuation of the main story line, so please, please stay tuned!
Tranquility out~