The Broken Mare

by Brumby_Run


Deep wounds heal slowly

Present day...

Princess Celestia watched as the train disappeared into the tunnel, bound for Ponyville. She wouldn't know the outcome of her experiment for weeks yet. Wishing for a deity higher than herself to offer prayers to, she turned away from the station. Her honour guard fell into step behind her as she made her way back through the streets of Canterlot, one last duty to perform for the day. For a moment she wondered if it might be sadistic of her, but memories of her vigil at the hospital flowed back, fuelling a desire for some form of vengeance, however small.

In no time at all, the alicorn was back at the courthouse. As she walked through the public spaces, members of her honour guard broke off to stand vigilant at doors and hallways. By the time she was entering the cells, only two remained. Upon seeing her enter, the prisoners lept to their feet and offered a deep bow.

"Get up. I will never accept deference from you. In my eyes you will be ponies non grata forever more," the princesses' tone was dark and low, radiating anger.

"Princess, we beg..."

"Shut up," she commanded. "I shall speak, and you shall listen. Then you shall be returned to serve the rest of your sentence." She turned address to the guard on her right, "Leave us."

"No ma'am. Standing orders from the Captain of the guard himself. 'Her royal highness is to never be left alone with these prisoners.'" Both guards remained stalwart.

"My knight, still saves me, by protecting you." She grinned at the prisoners, the way a cat grins at a mouse. "Even from his post in the Crystal Empire. You continue to owe Shining Armour your lives, as I owe him a gratitude nopony could ever understand."

The princess paced before the bars of the cage that held them, as she gathered her thoughts. She focused on her breathing, controlling her anger. She moved back and forth in front of them, her eyes closed. Navigating the space from her memory of it alone. The hate that radiated from her was palpable to all present, and all could sense that it was only sheer force of will that kept the goddess from unleashing her rage. When she finally stopped, and resumed her place between her guards, the prisoners could not help but shuffle back in fear.

"Do not think, for even one moment, that I granted this parole hearing for your benefit." She managed to keep her tone neutral, her eyes unfocused, as if looking beyond the walls that confined them. "True, I would have been forced to abide by the ruling of the board, even if I disapproved. But know this, the parole hearing was never about you."

The princess looked to the guards standing beside her before continuing, "This was all for the pony you beat, and ruined. My former guard, that suffers to this day from your actions. My sister informs me that she still has night terrors. Terrors that even my sister's formidable magic can not alleviate. Terrors that she can not explain when she wakes. Night terrors that her child often wakes to hear. You may consider me merciful, by not telling you of the details of what she suffers as she sleeps."

"Know this, I would trade your three lives in an instant, to ensure restful sleep and pleasant dreams for the rest of her life. Instead, all I have is this pathetic forum, to try to give her demons a voice. Inflict on her yet more suffering, however temporary, to try to heal her fractured mind. Break her yet again..." The alicorn's voice trailed off, tears welling behind her eyes. She concentrated to stop them from flowing. She would never permit herself to appear vulnerable in front of these three ponies. The silence stretched out as the goddess composed herself.

"I have promised Derpy that I shall never ask her to speak at any future parole hearings." The princess stood tall, her eyes focused intently on the three ponies before her. "The next time this board is convened, I shall invite the parents of Valiant Charge to speak."

"Have you ever witnessed the grief of a mother over a murdered son?" Celestia's voice dripped with menace.

-----

Dinky woke, hours before the dawn was due. She lay, and listened to the rhythms of the night. It was all familiar to her, the breeze through the trees outside, the creaking of the house as it cooled, none of the noises she heard held any mystery for her. None caused her any alarm. She lay there, straining to hear the one noise she truly feared. The night remained silent.

The unicorn filly eased herself out of bed, and made her way to the bathroom. When she was finished, she made sure to wash her hooves, like her mother always reminded her. When the last of the water gurgled down the drain, Dinky cocked an ear back towards the bedrooms. Silence ruled. With a small sigh, she made her way to the lounge room.

Her mother's journals were sitting on a low shelf of the bookcase. Brought down from a box in the attic, and stacked with care, all the while her mother had promised to read them with her. They were from before the riots, before the injuries that made her mother the way she was. Dinky pulled one at random from the shelf, and opened it. There wasn't enough light to read, but she could see just enough detail to sate her curiosity.

They were so unlike her mother. The free-flowing script was nothing like the cautious block Derpy used now. Dinky had peeked earlier, and the writing was filled with a confidence that was alien to her. It was also full of words that the little filly would swear that her mother would never use. Then again, she did know that adults sometimes spoke differently around foals. Still, some of what was in the books rankled her. She closed the book, and returned it to the shelf.

Unable to bear the silence any longer, she walked up to her mother's bedroom. Derpy liked to sleep with the window cracked open, and the door ajar. Dinky pushed the door open a fraction wider, and looked to her mother on the bed. Her chest rose and fell in a slow rhythm, her face was relaxed. She looked calm, peaceful. The filly watched her elder sleep, and concentrated on her own breathing. The house remained silent.

Derpy stirred. Something about the way the air moved in her room had changed, and had disturbed her sleep. As she raised her head, she heard a small gasp from the doorway. Opening her eye to the moonlight, and turning to the door, she called quietly, "Dinky, is that you?"

"Yes mum."

"Did you have a bad dream?"

"No, mum," she waited a beat before asking, "Did you?"

"No, no I didn't. It's been awhile since my last bad dream, hasn't it?"

"You haven't had any since your trip to Canterlot, almost two weeks now," Dinky replied.

"That doesn't mean I don't need my snuggle-buddy," Derpy lifted a wing, raising the bed covers for Dinky to scramble under. The little filly squirmed up next to her mother, tucking herself under her mother's wing.

"Did the princess use magic on you to stop the bad dreams?"

"I don't know, maybe," Derpy replied.

"What did it feel like?" Dinky's face was locked in an expression of wonder.

"Actually, it felt pretty horrible. So maybe it wasn't magic, maybe it was just plain old medicine."

Dinky giggled, as she remembered the last time she was sick and had to take medicine. She gave a small sigh before asking, "Do you think Big Mac has toned and mushy-cull-air flanks?"

"Muscular? Dinky, you peeked at my diaries!" Derpy's tone was scandalised.

"Oh, mum. You know that I always peek."

"Dinky, there is a lot of stuff those diaries..." Derpy breathed deep, and admitted defeat, "...stuff that you are going to find out about soon enough. But it's not kind of thing that you should talk about with your friends, at this age. I wanted to read it with you so I could explain all that stuff."

"Okay mum. I promise I won't talk about it. But if you're not having the bad dreams any more, maybe you could have a colt friend. Big Mac seems like a nice pony."

"Mister Macintosh is a nice pony. Dating is not just a case of walking up to somepony and asking them out." Derpy thought for a moment, "Okay, maybe it is. But it's not always that easy. Now, don't go trying to play matchmaker. You saw what happened to your teacher and Mac last 'Hearts and Hooves Day.' We kind of have to figure out how to move at each others pace."

"I know you have been lonely for a long time now, mum. If things get better, if you stop having those dreams..."

"Let's just take things one at a time. I'd like a chance to get used to sleeping through the night. Speaking of which, what woke you up?"

"I don't know. There was nothing wrong, I just woke up."

"Maybe you just missed being my snuggle-buddy? It's still ages before dawn is due," Derpy let out a large yawn. "Snuggle up, let's try and get a few more hours sleep."

"Yes, mum," Dinky said in a tired voice, cuddling in close, and propping her head on Derpy's shoulder.

As mother and daughter drifted back to sleep, the princess of the night watched from a cloud above Ponyville. As the stars twinkled above, Luna smiled, thinking of what she would report to her sister at breakfast.

-----

"Thank you Scootaloo, for yet another thrilling description, and blurry photograph, of Rainbow Dash's latest stunt," Cheerilee managed to keep her voice remarkably free of sarcasm. "Now, I believe it is Dinky's turn for 'Show-and-Tell.'"

The unicorn foal's heart leapt to her mouth. Public speaking had always made her nervous, but today the butterflies in her stomach seemed to be churning extra hard. She made her way from her desk to the front of the class, carefully carrying a velvet presentation box. She had discussed it with her mother, and what she carried was her second preference for a topic to bring to school. Her first choice had been the full suit of armour, with her mother wearing it, of course. She had been forced into a compromise.

"Miss Cheerilee, could you open this, and pass it 'round for me?"

As she opened it, the usually unflappable teacher gave a gasp that could be heard all the way to the Everfree Forest. Deciding not to leave such a treasure to the hooves of her students, Cheerilee walked the box around the classroom herself, keeping it a safe distance from rambunctious foals.

"That is my mum's 'Medal of Valour,'" the little filly told the class before her. "Princess Celestia gave it to my mum, for what she did during the Canterlot riots ten years ago."

"Miss Cheerilee, we're not allowed to make up stories for 'Show and Tell.' That blank-flank has to stop lying," the class bully spoke in an arrogant tone. "Princess Celestia would never be in the same room as a pony like Derpy."

"Now, Diamond Tiara. Everypony was quiet and polite when you brought in the paperwork for your trust fund last week. Today is Dinky's turn. I have to say, this medal looks like the real thing to me. Go on Dinky, we're listening." The teacher made a point of making eye contact with the missguided filly.

"My mum was so too a guard! She still is, in a way. She's a re... res... reservist. She's got letters at home, from the princess! And her diaries... But I'm not supposed to talk about those. It's why she is the way she is! She was hurt... Her eye that always points the wrong way, is a gla... glass eye! She... she..."

"Dinky, Dinky, it's alright. Don't get upset," Cheerilee rushed forward, to calm her charge. "Just take a moment, and go back to telling us about the medal. Take your time, shut your eyes and think happy thoughts if you need too."

The little unicorn stood there, shaking like a leaf after her outburst. She did shut her eyes, but all she could think of was how telling everypony was supposed to make everything better. Ponies would stop being mean to her mum, if she could just tell them why she was different. The anger at being called a liar just hurt too much.

"It's called the 'Medal of Valour,' and the princess gives it to guard ponies who get hurt in the line of duty," Dinky spoke in a monotone, looking to the floor. With Diamond Tiara still saying bad things about her mum, all the fight had gone out of her. "The princess gave it to mum for 'courage and bravery above and beyond the call of duty.' She nearly died in the riots. It's why I don't have a dad, because he did die in the riots. Mum was hurt so bad saving princess Celestia, and she gave her the medal, and I just wanted you to see it."

"Thank you Dinky," Cheerilee said when it became obvious that the filly wasn't going to say anymore. "That's enough 'Show and Tell' for today. Now, everypony take out your work books. We have a math quiz coming up, and some of you still need to work on long division."

Dinky trudged back to her seat, amid groans and protests about the upcoming math work they were about to start on. She took her seat with a sullen expression on her face. Despite the best efforts of Applebloom, sitting next to her, she refused to be drawn out of her shell. She just sat there, working on the math problems she was assigned, and tried to ignore the rest of the world.

-----

"Hey, Dinky! Wait up!" Scootaloo called after the retreating unicorn filly. "Don't let what Diamond Tiara said get to you."

"The first words you said when you saw mum in her uniform was that she stole it," Dinky countered in an argumentative tone.

"That was just the shock talking."

"Dinky, ma sister tells me that some ponies jus' wanna hurt others, 'cause it makes 'em feel better about themselves," Applebloom said as she caught up. "Diamond Tiara jus' a bully. Gettin' you all mad is what she wants."

"We're going to Sugarcube Corner for milkshakes. Do you want to come with us?" Sweetie Bell asked, hope in her voice.

"No, I've got to get home. I don't want to risk losing the medal. Besides, we've got a lot of homework to do."

"It's Friday. You've got all weekend to do homework. Come and have a milkshake. I'll let you ride my scooter." The orange pegasus tried sweetening the deal.

"No, mum says I should always come straight home after school," Dinky spoke as she turned down the road to her home, away from Sugarcube Corner, and the rest of town.

"Well, we're jus' gunna hafta walk you home then," Applebloom said.

"Yeah!" the other two crusaders chorused.

Dinky walked on quietly, the press of the other three fillies around her intimidating her. For the most part she tried to avoid being drawn into their conversation, oddly centered around the best way to remove tree sap from your mane. She stopped at the gate to her front yard.

"Thanks for walking me home. I guess I'll see you on Monday."

"Or you could come and play with us over the weekend?" Sweetie Bell asked hopefully.

"Maybe, I'll talk to mum about it," she replied, noncommittally.

"YAY!" the three fillies shouted as they turned back towards their planned milkshake date.

Dinky slipped quietly into the house, and settled herself in to start on her homework. She sat at the kitchen table, school books surrounding her, and rolled her pencil back and forth. Despite her best efforts, Diamond Tiara's accusation kept floating through her mind. With an angry sigh, she picked up a random textbook, and threw herself into learning the difference between adjectives and adverbs.

-----

"Trottingham?" Dinky asked. "We're going to Trottingham for summer vacation?"

"Yes. With a stop in Canterlot on the way back." Derpy smiled wide, her enthusiasm obvious.

"But, what's in Trottingham?" The filly asked, puzzled.

"Not what, but who. Your grandparents are there."

"Nana and Pop live in Cloudsdale, what are they doing in Trottingham?" Her brow furrowed deeper.

"No," her mother corrected. "Your other grandparents. Valiant Charge's parents. I wrote to them after getting back from Canterlot. Princess Celestia suggested it. We never really kept in contact after I moved to Ponyville. Going out to meet them is long overdue, don't you think?"

Dinky knew that everypony had two sets of grandparents, but it was something she had never really thought of as applying to her. Now that she thought about it, it seemed so obvious. Just because her father had passed away, didn't mean that his parents were also gone. Her friend Applebloom still had her Granny Smith, after all. The unicorn filly had just never made the connection.

"Trottingham?" She asked in a meek voice.

"We've got our very own sleeper car berth for the trip. You always wanted to take a big train trip," her mother cajoled.

"Are you sure you are up for this, mum?"

"Dinky, you don't need to take care of me. The dreams have stopped. I may still need my snuggle-buddy, but you don't need to be my nurse any more. Now is the time for you to make the most of your foal hood."

Dinky sat there, looking from the tickets, to her mother. It was a lot to take in, in a very short space of time. She wasn't sure she was ready.

"Trottingham?" She let a little of the fear she was feeling seep into her voice.

-----

It was a small, but vocal group that came to see mother and daughter board the train to Trottingham. The three Cutie-Mark Crusaders had insisted, as soon as they had heard the news. Rarity had come to chaperone her sister, and Applebloom had somehow convinced Big Mac to escort her. It was a confusing round of hugs, conversations, and well wishes. As they had managed to wind up at the station nearly one and a half hours early, the 'good-byes' were starting to get ridiculous.

Dinky watched as her mother blushed and squirmed every time Big Mac looked in her direction. While the little unicorn was no expert at romance, she did notice how Sweetie Bell's older sister kept coming up with excuses to leave them alone, or tried to initiate conversations between them. Dinky figured that she wouldn't need to play matchmaker, it looked like the rest of Ponyville was already working on it.

"All aboard!" The conductor cried.

Ponies shuffled forward, pressing into the carriages. Shouts and cries echoed up and down the platform. Dinky was already clambering into the train, when Big Mac pulled Derpy aside.

"I'll see you when ya' get back," he said in his characteristic drawl.

Derpy blushed, it was the longest sentence he had uttered all day. It took all her concentration to keep her wings locked and parked at her sides. With no time for anything more intimate, Derpy flashed him a grin as she climbed into the carriage.

Amidst the hissing of steam, and the mournful wail from the whistle, the train pulled out from the station. After waving good bye to her friends, Dinky turned to her mother.

"What are my grandparents like?"

"I don't know, Dinky. I have never met them before. Princess Celestia did describe them as 'wonderful ponies' once."

The train rushed onwards.