It was the early hours of the morning inside a train that headed straight to Appaloosa, the sun in the horizon giving it's first rays of light at dawn, and the train shaking over the rails, pulled by a few ponies. A train. Pulled by ponies. Several tons of metal and everything else that was inside pulled by ponies. There wasn't even an engine, just ponies.
Just. Ponies.
"Why did I even decide to go with you guys to begin with...?" Mike asked himself, waking up and standing up. His outfit was his second skin apparently, since he even sleeps with his gasmask, armor and hooded cloak. He saw how everyone was still asleep, and figuring it'd still be a long way till their destination, he walked around trying to find some sort of fridge or something where he could get a snack. A tremendous shake interrupted him and woke up the others, who now reached for a window to look outside. Mike then joined them in trying to figure out the source of the shake.
"A buffalo stampede!" Exclaimed Twilight. Everyone was dumbstrick staring at the stampede, chances were they had never seen one before.
"I just love their accessories." Rarity stated, seeing as the buffalos all had a set of feathers on their heads.
"They're getting awfully close to the train." Twilight stated upon seeing them getting closer and closer. Then, they began striking against it with enough strength to send those inside flying all over the place. "Where's Mike?!" She yelled.
"Come! Show me what passed for fury amongst your misbegotten kind!" Mike yelled on the roof of the train, with a revolver in hand.
"Oooh, looky! Now they're doing TRICKS!" Pinkie Pie stated upon seeing the buffalos jumping on top of each other. "Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Now do a back-flip!... Or... Just jump?" She said, seeing another small buffalo jumping on top of the roof. Then the steps could be heard running over the train roof.
"Hmm.. Something tells me this isn't a circus act." Rainbow Dash mentioned.
"Who are you supposed to be?" Mike questioned the small buffalo with confusion, only for it to run right past him. "You're not going anywhere!" He yelled before turning around and jumping at the buffalo, successfully tackling it. However, the small size allowed it to struggle and escape his grip. "Get back here you little sh..."
Still on the roof, he saw how now Rainbow Dash intercepted the buffalo, only for it to run past her. He stood up and began running at the buffalo, jumping over the union of the carts. She tried intercepting once again only for the buffalo to jump directly above past her. Mike took the opportunity to aim his revolver while the buffalo was in mid-air, only for his shot to miss. He didn't stop running, even after Rainbow Dash crashed against one of those train sights while she was chasing the buffalo. However, he was too late, for the buffalo now disconnected a part of the train and was drifting away. Once he realized he could just shoot her, the buffalo was too far away for him to aim properly.
Mike just sighed in irritation as he watched the stampede also moving away, with the remaining ponies seeing how the cart with Spike and Bloomberg drifted further and further beyond their reach without anything they could do to stop it.
Later, at Appaloosa...
"Okay, so this now turned into some sort of rescue mission?" Mike questioned, jumping off the train with the rest of the mane 6, or what were left of them, ran out the train. "Oh my God..." He said, standing petrified looking at his gasmask's HUD. He could see from a bird's-eye-view that this place didn't have mineral deposits, but rich, yellow mineral deposits. "This is like Christmas!" He exclaimed, running off while a medivac arrived, dropped several SCVs, and began building a command center, two refineries, a barracks and a supply depot in the outskirts of Appaloosa, where the minerals and geysers were located.
"Hey there!" Braeburn greeted Applejack and her friends. "Welcome ta Aaaapplelooosa!"
"Braeburn, listen–"
"Cousin Applejack, mind yer manners, you have yet ta introduce me to your compadres! Shame on you!"
"Braeburn, listen, somethin' terrible has happened–"
"Terrible is right, your train is full 7 minutes late! That's 7 minutes less for you to delight in the pleasures and wonders of... Aaapplelooosa! Boggles the mind, we settler ponies built all this in just the past year, don't it?! And as you can see, we have all of the finest comforts. Like horse-drawn carriages!"
"Everything ready?" Mike asked his Appaloosa expansion.
"Up and ready, boss." An SCV affirmed.
"Alright..." Mike began checking the map of his HUD, trying to figure out where Spike, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were located. He moved the map all around, but found nothing. The fog of war covered everything but Appaloose and his base in the outskirts. He had to scout first. "Send a marine to each part of the map to scout."
"Only one per part?" The SCV questioned.
"Yeah, if one gets killed then we found something."
"...Alright."
At his command, eight marines, each running to a different distance, began their reconnaissance run. The fog of war was lifted wherever they go, but nothing found yet. There was still much fog of war remaining, and the only thing needed now was time to scout the general area.
Later, the next day...
"DAMN THIS MAP IS HUGE AS F--" Mike complained.
"Boss."
"Yeah?"
"Look at sector 5."
"Uhhh..." Mike now moved the map on his gasmask's HUD to sector 5. Namely, Applejack, Rarity, Twilight and Fluttershy were preparing to go find Rainbow Dash, Spike, Pinkie Pie and Bloomberg. "I see. I'll send them a message, then.
"Ow! Gently, please!" Rarity begged Applejack.
"Sorry, Rarity, but our friends are out there and we have ta' be ready for a long hike into buffalo territory if we're gonna save 'em!"
Mike: Guys.
"...What in Tarnation..." Applejack said upon seeing text floating.
Mike: You guys going to look for the rest of the gang?
"Uhhh... Yes?" She answered, not even knowing if actually answering would work.
Mike: Alright, be advised, I can't go with you guys. I'll stay here and watch out for anything that happens.
"...Alright..." This was just too strange for Applejack and the rest. "Let's go!"
Once they ran a short distance, they met with Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Spike.
"Hi guys!" Pinkie Pie greeted. "Hi Mike."
Mike: Yo.
"Pinkie!" Fluttershy tackled her in joy. "We're so glad you're safe."
Then, the rest greeted them with relief for their safety.
"How did you escape from the buffalo?" Twilight questioned.
"We didn't!" Pinkie answered, right before the small buffalo revealed herself from behind a boulder. Everyone gasped.
Mike: YOU
Mike: THAT THING ON THE TRAIN ROOF
Mike: IT WAS YOU
Mike: I SWEAR
Mike: TO ARCTURUS
Mike: I WILL DESTROY YOU
"Are those... Floating words...?" The buffalo asked in confusion.
Mike: FITE ME
"Don't ask." Twilight reassured her.
Mike: DONT IGNORE ME DAMMIT
"We promised the buffalo a chance to talk." Rainbow Dash stated.
"Oh, yeah? 'Bout what?" Applejack retorted.
"We brought our new pal, Little Strongheart--"
Mike: I NOW KNOW YOUR NAME
Mike: I ONLY NEED TO FIND OUT WHERE YOU LIVE NOW
"--here, to explain to the Appleloosians why they should move the apple trees off buffalo land."
"That information would be quite help–" Braeburn mentioned, before being interrupted by Applejack.
"That's weird. 'Cause my cousin, Braeburn, here, wants to explain to the buffalo why they should let the apple trees stay."
"That would be a useful thing to –" Little Strongheart tried speaking, only to be interrupted by Rainbow Dash.
"The land is theirs! You planted the trees not knowing that. Honest mistake. Now, you just gotta move 'em, that's all."
Mike: THE MINERALS AND GEYSERS ARE MINE YOU GOT THAT?!
"Well... eheh..." Braeburn gave a nervous chuckle.
"They busted their rumps here!" Applejack now argued. "An' now they're suppos't ta bust their rumps again, just 'cause some buffalo won't stampede someplace else?"
"Plant the trees somewhere else!" Rainbow Dash suggested.
"Where?! It's the only flatland around these parts!"
"The BUFFALO had it FIRST!"
"The settler ponies need it to LIVE!"
"Come ON Applejack!"
"You're bein' unreasonable!" Applejack stated.
"I put my hoof down!" Rainbow Dash said over Applejack's voice at the same time.
Mike: I DONT KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT
Mike: ...
Mike: LOUD NOISES
Mike: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL
"Look..." Twilight began speaking. "Both the settlers and the buffalo have good reasons to use this land. There must be something we can do."
"Hey! I've got an idea!" Pinkie Pie suggested.
Mike: Oh boy here we go.
After a while, and after Pinkie Pie's song with the public spectating...
"All right, Pinkie Pie! That was FANTASTIC! What a great song! You're right on!" Spike cheered.
The sheriff, Mike and the chief of the buffalos nodded at eachother.
"It appears that Sheriff Silverstar, Mike and I have come to... An agreement." The chief of the buffalos stated.
"We have." The sheriff added.
Mike: Sort of.
Mike was just there resting on top of an SCV with a keyboard and a bottle of apple cider. Too lazy to even speak.
Everyone became excited at the rather quick agreement, and awaited for their word.
"That was the worst performance we've ever seen..." The chief stated.
"Teh... Abso-tively!" The sheriff added.
Mike: 3/10
"The time for action... Hmh... Is upon us!" The chief announced. "Our stampede will start at high noon tomorrow. And if the orchard is still there, we'll flatten IT! AND the whole town!" Everyone gasped.
"But, Chief!" Little Strongheart tried avoiding the massacre.
"An' we Appleloosians say you'd better bring yer best, 'cause we'll be ready and waitin'." The sheriff challenged him.
"But, Sheriff..." Braeburn tried doing the same as Little Strongheart.
"We Terrans will do what we are best at, hold our ground against your horde..." Mike added to the challenge.
"Oh boy... Mike joined it..." Twilight became worried.
Mike: Yo, Mike, you dropped your keyboard.
Mike turned around, to see an SCV with a keyboard waving at him.
"Oh... That wasn't the message of my song at all..." Pinkie Pie said, worried.
Later that day...
The ponies of Appaloosa were fortifying their town, building barricades and closing their doors and windows. Bucking the apple trees and turning the apples into pies, which would be used as their ammunition. Twilight, Rarity, Fluttershy and Applejack could do nothing to prevent it, as everyone ignored them and prepared further for the imminent attack.
"What are we going to do?" Fluttershy asked. The group was walking around town.
"I don't know, no one wants to listen to us." Twilight answered with worry.
"Hold up, ain't that Mike over there?" Applejack questioned while pointing near a building. Mike and the Sheriff were discussing.
"I have more than enough resources to aid your cause, sheriff." Mike said.
"What are you suggesting?" The sheriff replied.
"Me and my men can prepare the defenses all over the place and fill any weakpoint that this town may present. At this situation, It'd be wise to say you hold more authority than anyone here over this place. Do I have your permission to let my forces in?"
"We need all the help we can get, call your boys in."
"Gladly."
Minutes later, dozens and dozens of SCVs arrived to the place. They began constructing turrets and bunkers, and supply depots as makeshift walls. Planetary fortresses were set in place too.
"Oh no..." Twilight worried upon feeling a small earthquake, and then seeing in front of her several heavily armored vehicles with cannons in front of them. They placed themselves near the barricades, bolted down to the floor with the sound of machinery turning filling the air, and raised their main cannon. They were the main artillery unit, and the backbone of the Terran Arsenal. The Siege Tanks.
Now medivacs arrived too, with siege tanks in their cargo bay dropping them on the buildings, making themselves turn into siege mode. If this wasn't fortification, then nothing was.
"Just like old times." Mike said, remembering the times where he fought against the Zerg.
The buffalos, in the middle of the night, trained themselves against eachother, sharpened their horns, and prepared themselves for the attack too.
Then, the next day arrived.
A siege tank, with Mike on top, arrived near the barricade. Mike jumped off and cleaned the dust off his cloak before looking at the giant clock. Barely 10 minutes remained. "How are your forces, Sheriff?" He asked.
"Ready. Your men?"
Mike looked around to see his men focused, his artillery in place, his supply depots rising and creating a wall, and the planetary fortresses turning their guns.
"Ready."
"Come on, THINK." Rainbow Dash desperately tried coming up with a solution. "Think, think, think, think, think, think, think!"
Then, the clock hit the time, ringing it's giant bell for everyone to hear. Now everything was silent and focused.
Mike took out his revolver, opened the chamber, and placed the bullets on them before closing it and pulling the hammer back. His men did the same with their guns, and the ponies prepared their pies and stared into the horizon where the horde of buffalos could already be seen standing.
In the distance, the chief of the buffalos, after seeing everything and figuring it'd not be worth it, sighed.
Rainbow Dash gasped with everyone smiling. "He's not gonna do it!"
"...You got to share... You got to care... It's the right thing to do..." Pinkie started singing.
"Oh boy here we go." Mike sighed as he rolled his eyes.
The chief grunted in annoyance and fury.
"You got to share..."
"CHAAAARGE!!" The chief gave a warcry before leading the charge.
"DESTROY THEM!!" Mike yelled. The artillery batteries, the guns, and the explosions now deafened everyone's ears, but the horde did not stop at this, it's as if they had no numbers, no fear, only fury in their hearts, just like the Zerg. The artillery rounds struck most of the horde, but they still kept on coming, their strength comparable to those of the Protoss. They managed to break through the barricade and the supply depots by the sheer force of the charge, and entered the town to cause havoc everywhere. Now, what wasn't artillery shells or bullets, was pies flying left and right.
"Keep shooting the hairy bastards!!" Mike yelled. He seemed to forget that conventional weaponry doesn't even work in this world since it's a kid's show and death isn't written in it, well, except for the Terrans, who died more than they lived. At most, the explosions would throw them off-track. But it was still amusing.
"What do you mean we're all out of olives?!" A battlecruiser orbiting over the town yelled through the radio.
Mike ran and jumped over a mostly intact barricade with his revolver in hand, a buffalo chasing him and breaking through the barricade he just jumped over. Trying to figure out how to outsmart the buffalo, he did what any other sensible human being would do: He stopped, turned around, held his ground, and once the buffalo was close enough he headbutted him. Both were on the verge of falling unconscious now, but Mike took the opportunity and climbed on top of it and holding onto its horns.
"How do I steer this damn thing?!" He screamed, trying to control the beast's movements, only for it to crash into a building, break through the wall, and then break through the other wall getting outside. Mike, however, remained inside. "I say, these things are delicious." He spoke as he enjoyed an apple pie with a fork, while sporting a monocle and a bowtie. "Alas, duty calls for me." He left the apple pie, monocle and bowtie and rushed outside, where the buffalo which he drove awaited him standing on its hind legs, staring at him with fury. "Fight like big man!" He challenged the buffalo to a fist fight, only for both of them to stare above when they heard a strange cracking noise. The giant clock was falling right on top of them. Mike quickly got on top of the buffalo and they both ran out of its landing ground.
A siege tank artillery round struck him and the buffalo, sending them both flying on different directions. Mike crashlanded on the ground, drifting a bit on the dirt before finally stopping and standing up with gruelling pain and effort. He looked around to try to figure out what was going on. His eyes stumbled upon the Sheriff, who was taking cover behind a haystack throwing pies at the horders of buffalos, but unfortunately running out of ammo. Then, he saw the chief buffalo charging at him. He had the leader of the enemy right in his sights, so without losing another moment he quickly took out his revolver, aimed at the buffalo, and fired his shot.
The shot landed. Not on the buffalo, but on a stray flying pie which redirected its course straight at the chief striking at him and knocking him down to the ground. It wasn't what he initially expected but he shrugged it off as at least being something. All of this, in overly dramatic slow motion.
Once the chief fell, the fighting stopped. Every buffalo rushed to the fallen leader, the ponies now just staring at what had been done in this day. The chief's head was covered in pie, a buffalo started crying at their loss, a pony lowered her hat in respect and regret, spike began crying too...
All until a piece of pie fell onto the chief's tounge. He tasted it, and regained his strength by the delicious deliciousness of the delicious pie. "Yum! Hey, I've got a much better idea!"
A road was cut through the apple trees in the field, allowing the now stampeding buffalos to cross it. "We... Will allow the apple orchard to stay in exchange for a share of it's fruit, heh... Those... Delicious apple pies!" The chief explained. Apparently every buffalo liked the apple pies so much they also agreed with the chief. Now every time they stampede through it, they receive an apple pie each.
Ironically enough, in Terra they'd have been shot on sight. Not unlike what Mike tried doing but failing due to the hocus pocus of the powers that be.
"You guys make an entire economy out of apples..." Mike mentioned, walking up to the sheriff as they stared at the stampede.
"I have to thank ye for aiding us. If it wasn't for ye, we'd 'ave lost before this 'agreement' could've 'append."
"Yeah, cool story."
"As a token o'gratitude, you also get yer share of apple pies like them buffalos."
"Best. Day. Ever." He exclaimed with his hands up in the air.
'Dear, Princess Celestia. Friendship is a wondrous and powerful thing. Even the worst of enemies can become friends. You need understanding and compromise. You've got to share. You've got to care–'
"Hey, that's what I said!!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed.
Mike: AND THAT STARTED A WAR