//------------------------------// // Finding Closure // Story: Remember the Moon // by Leviathan //------------------------------// I had to pull a few strings within the castle and use Celestia’s influence, but I managed to achieve something. I was able to have the body of Rainfall buried in the Ceremonial Graveyard. A place reserved for royalty, important politicians, close friends of royalty, and heroes. Rainfall fell into the latter category. She had distracted Paradise, giving me time to survive. She came back to me, even when it posed great risk to her well-being. I thought it was only fair that I gave her a position that reflected those deeds. The wind flowed steadily and gently. It moved through my mane, caressing the back of my neck as I stood over the grave plot. It was interesting to look upon the world of the dead. There were so many graves there, each marking another soul laid to rest. But who is it for? For as far as the I could see I was the only one habituating the graveyard. So, looking at all the lonely ponies, I wonder, where do they come from? Where do they all belong? Standing over the grave I read the small, grey headstone. Here lies November Rainfall 1058 - 1068 Celestial Era Beloved Daughter and Royal Savior A True Hero It is quite strange how events transpired. I told Rainfall to run, to head towards Canterlot, attempting to keep her away from danger and death. Yet she came back to the scene, unaware of what dangers lurked in the woods and not knowing whether I was still alive or not. She had just been concerned for my well-being. Something that I consider to be my job. It is my job as a co-regent of Equestria to keep my citizens safe. Yet, I was unable to save one, and in fact, she had to come to my aid. What did that say about me? Such a hollow pain is grief. It seems to have so much substance but it is basic and uncomplicated. Grief is just so simplistic. There was a trigger that goaded a reaction out of you, in this instance the death of a friend, and it resulted in an intense pain that dug deeper than any physical wound. Grief is the reason I try to detach from others upon death. I am immortal, forever existing while those I love wither away. My dear little ponies can spend their entire lives with me, yet I cannot spend my entire life with them. It is a cruelty to be sure. So, I have to find a way to detach from those I knew, if I let them affect me then I would be exactly like the grief I fear: hollow. In this case there was only one way I could think to make peace with Rainfall. There was only one final loose end to tie up with her. Yet, there is another reason I cannot grieve for those lost. That reason being that if I were to grieve, I would lose memory of that pony. Grieving is just a form of coping, a way to help us forget about our dear ones. I cannot cope or grieve Rainfall’s death because I do not want to forget her. I don’t want to forget my hero. I laid down next to the freshly lain dirt, grass tickling my flank as I did so. The soil did itself was fresh and soft, even a bit wet. Hard to imagine that a few feet under that surface lay a pony. “Hello.” I spoke to the grave. “I hope you like this spot. I had to pull a lot of strings to get you here, you know.” I allowed myself a sad smile. “There is still one thing we haven’t done yet.” “I would wager that you would be interested in hearing the conclusion to the tale we had been discussing for so long?” There was merely a dead silence in response. “I thought you would be excited.” I shuffled my front hooves to fit under my chest. My wounds had completely healed in the week since my cocoon state. An alicorn’s regenerative ability is apparently supplemented by the excess vitamins left over from the cocoon state. This, in conjunction with the cocoon state itself, left me free of scars. “So, the elements had purged my mind of selfish, disharmonious thoughts and ideals and I had just reconciled with my sister. Of course, there was a lot of other minor issues that still had to be dealt with before I would be fully accepted, but for the most part I was brought back into the world of Equestria...” ___ I trotted along beside my sister. We were walking side by side through the halls of the new castle as she led me through all the new additions and whatnot. Celestia was, as per her usual self, quite amicable and welcoming. She acted as if the past had never happened for the most part. It made me rather nervous that she was so helpful, though. I felt like I deserved something more, some kind of punishment. It did not seem just that I could walk back into Equestria after having threatened the peace it upheld. As we walked down the hallways I could not help but notice the glances that I received from passing servants and guards. The attention displeased me to say the least. Most of them distanced themselves and shared mixed whispers about “Nightmare Moon,” and “Did we take her prisoner?” Celestia either did not noticed or pretended not to. She just kept leading me forwards through a seemingly endless number of hallways and corridors. the strange thing was, all of the hallways looked the same. They were all long, tall, and had the same statue placed the same distance apart down the length of the hallway. If one did not already have some knowledge of the structure it would be quite easy to get lost. It could even prove to be a bit comical. Maybe some group could even adapt it into a skit of some sort. Celestia came to a large set of double doors and stopped. I stopped a moment after her, ending up an inch closer to the door. She cocked her and looked at me with a warm smile on her face. “Come Luna, let me introduce you to the council.” She said softly. Oh dear Tartarus... A group that knew that I had, at one point, despised them and attempted to destroy them was not likely to think very highly of me. Celestia must have seen my concern, however, as she gave me comforting nuzzle and whispered in my ear, “Come along, my little pony.” She placed her hoof on my shoulder and gave a soft, tender nudge to guide me forward. Such a warming touch. Such a motherly one. This was not the Celestia I left behind. The large brass doors certainly did their job in announcing our entrance. The resounding ring they gave as they moved alerted the entire room to our presence. Every head in the council chamber turned on my sister and I as she led me to an empty chair next to a large throne-like one, which I assumed was hers. I was expected... I took my seat and kept quiet as each of the council members gaze washed over me. There was some hushed whispering and narrowed eyes, but for the most part they were respectful. That was not likely to last, though, Celestia took her seat and cast a side-long glance at me. There was an encouraging smile on her face and her eyes were soft. Of course, a basilisk’s eyes are also quite soft(don’t ask). Celestia let loose one cough, one solitary cough, and the entire room fell ino a silence. The eyes of every pony in the turned to her and the hushed conversations died away. “As you all can see, I have brought a guest here today. This is my sister Luna, better known as Princess Luna around a thousand years ago. From here on out she shall be reinstated as my co-regent.” A bit abrupt. For a moment all that could be heard was silence as my sister confirmed what several of the ponies likely suspected. An uproar arose from the gathered ponies as some expressed confusion, apparently unaware that Celestia had a sister, and others expressed disgust at the idea of having Nightmare Moon as the co-head of state. Celestia stood up from her seat and banged a small wooden gavel she held in her magical grip against the table, sending a harsh bang echoing off the elegant walls. Every pony in the room fell silent again. All turned their heads and eyes to face Celestia simultaneously. “Now then,” Began Celestia, “I believe it would benefit all of you to hear me out rather than form opinions based on outdated stories and gossip.” Was she insane? She emphasized her words with a narrowing of the eyes and sharp frown. The ponies in the chamber all took that to mean, ‘If you don’t listen to what I say I will bite your face off. Then I will shove your firstborn child down your throat while making the rest of Equestria watch.’ Seeing that nopony was going to object she sat back down in her seat. “I knew that you all would want to hear what I have to say.” Celestia’s voice was delightfully innocent. “This is not Nightmare Moon, as some of you seem to think.” She glanced around the room. A few ponies shifted uncomfortably in their chairs. “This pony next to me is, in fact, just Princess Luna, controller and guide of the Moon as well as my sister.” There were some quiet chattering amongst the council as this new information was presented to them. Celestia coughed once more for silence. I swear, those noble-ponies talked more than a group of classroom foals. “She was, at one point in time, corrupted by the mysterious energy of the Nightmare. Her body was made host to the strange and venal energy. When the Nightmare took over her form it also gained control of her power, which did not lead to much good, as I’m sure you can imagine. This new form was Nightmare Moon, the terrible monster that plagued Equestria.” Finished Celestia. Her speech surprised me to say the least. From the way she spoke and addressed the council she made me seem like a victim. Which was (and still is) as far from the truth as one can find themselves. There had been no “Nightmare” entity involved in any of my transgressions. I worked completely alone on my plot, all misdeeds performed were of my own fault and to my own purpose. Jealousy and resentment had been the causes for my betraying Equestria...so why was Celestia claiming differently? Perhaps she created a lie in order to protect me from the council’s wrath. But that did not sound like her, nor did it make any sense. She could easily control the council from what I had seen, so why, exactly, would she spout such nonsense? Unless, of course, she actually believed the fabrication. “Wait, what!” Yelled one of the council members. “I thought this wasn’t Nightmare Moon!” He and several others stared at me apprehensively. And here it comes. “She isn’t,” cooed Celestia. “She was purged of the dangerous Nightmare energy by the Elements of Harmony. What is left now is my dear sister Luna, who will once again take up the duties of the Night.” Celestia looked quite serene once again, as if that ended the entire meeting. “But Princess, how do we know we can trust this...Luna?” The question was presented by a grey-coated sitting pony across the table from Celestia and I. “We have been given no valid reason as to why she should be placed in such an important role.” Celestia stared at the pony for a moment before replying. “Luna watched over Equestria with me for many years before the Nightmare presence took her. In that time there was never, not one, incident. As for a reason, she is my sister, and she was, quite literally, born for the role.” Celestia looked at the stallion with a smile and set of raised eyebrows that seemed to pose the question, ‘satisfied?.’ Celestia was crazy. This couldn’t possibly work. A mare rose from her seat near the stallion. “That is all well and good Princess, but how do we know whether this pony is even capable of such a feat. It has been a rather long time since she last controlled a celestial body has it not?” There were several murmurs of agreement at the statement. Celestia looked as if she was about to reply to the question, but instead she looked to me. She leaned over and asked me, “Can you still raise the Moon? I mean a millennium is a long time.” She stared at me for a moment, a weary look in her eyes. Personally, I found the fact she was even asking insulting. I was the Princess of the Moon! It would be a rather strange chain of events that caused me to lose control over my namesake. I also found it quite annoying that everypony in the room, excluding Celestia, kept referring to me as ‘this pony’ or ‘this...Luna.’ I had once been Princess and co-regent of Equestria. Did that not warrant some kind of respect or deference? I gulped my thoughts down, however and stood to face the mare who had posed the question. “You will find that I am more than capable of any feat of magic, be it normal or celestial in nature.” I looked the mare I directed my response towards dead in the eyes, keeping my eyes level. “In fact, I am bound to the Moon. We are attached physically, meaning that if I where unable to control it I would be incapacitated or expired right now. Any foal who has studied magic should realize that.” I only realized how jarring that last bit could have sounded after I had said it. The mare looked at me for a moment. “Fine, you can control it. But how do we know the Nightmare energy won’t return and possess you again? How can you ensure that Nightmare Moon is really gone, Princess Luna?” She practically hissed the final words. It seemed that I was making friends rather quickly. Always a good sign. I grated my teeth against each other. Talking was always so difficult, especially when you were as unpopular as I. “Well as my sister so eloquently phrased it a few seconds ago, I was purged of the Nightmare energy. But if you are unaware of what purged means then I will be more than happy to be informative. It is synonymous with words absolve, cleanse, and purify, and is defined as the ridding of a certain feeling, memory, or condition from somepony. In most scenarios it is a cathartic release. So does it really seem likely that the Nightmare energy would try to infect me after having already failed and likely been injured?” The matter-of-fact tone of voice I used was causing the mare to visibly frown. I must have sounded sure of myself. Apparently, my mouth was set upon making enemies with the council. I mean, if I was going along with this “Nightmare energy” facade in order to play the part of the victim then why would I act like an arse? If I was utilizing this ploy in order to gain favor then shouldn’t I actually play the victim? Dumb mouth. The corners of the mare’s mouth twitched. “I am quite aware of the meaning of purged, Princess.” Her mouth was foaming just an teensy bit. “But relapses aren’t exactly unheard of, are they? I mean you could very well turn on us all right now!” There were a few murmurs of agreement throughout the chamber. “I can personally guarantee that the energy will not possess her again, Summer Gale. The Nightmare energy is only able to possess a pony once.” Celestia interjected rather loudly, provoking silence...again. The mare, apparently called Summer Gale, still looked unconvinced. “How do we know this, though? Who performed the study which gave us this info? I think I speak for all of us when I say we should meet them, Don’t I?” A horde of voices rose, the general consensus among them agreeing with Summer Gale and wishing to meet the researcher. A few simply remained silent, appearing to be deep in thought. Thinking was a good sign, I think. Personally, I wanted to meet the pony who’s crackpot theory was keeping me from being locked into a dungeon right then too. I would need to thank them in pony for helping me play the victim for these ponies. Unless, of course, Celestia didn’t have a constituent to help to make sure her little lie was discovered. Another of the council members stood from his seat, this one having been among the silent. “It would seem that the majority of us are in agreement here, your majesty. We need to meet this researcher.” It was a stallion. Rare in Equestria. His voice was deep and commanding, the voice of a natural born leader. He was a tall earth-pony with a simple brown coat and simple brown hair. His cutie mark was a pen breaking a sword. He held quite the presence when he spoke. Celestia looked to the stallion and gave a slight nod. “It is an easy enough wish to grant, Grass Leaf.” Were his parents blind or something? He was brown. “And would you look at that, here I am now.” Celestia said in a unnecessarily high-pitched voice. She gave Grass Leaf a small smirk. A very self-satisfied smirk. There was not a trace of sound as the council chewed on the information they had just received. Apparently, their dear ruler, Princess Celestia, had conducted the magical study herself. And it wasn’t as if they could question Celestia’s capabilities. It was a rather ingenious ploy on her part. One that would decisively end this little meeting. I really shouldn’t doubt her. “So then, does anypony have anymore objections to reinstating my sister?” Celestia asked the question rather innocently. She knew very well that nopony would object now. Nopony really could considering that there was nothing to object to. She truly was a master of diplomacy. Or at the very least, very good at talking to idiots. Celestia had addressed the four major concerns about my return. First, she had dispelled the idea that I was still Nightmare Moon, the vicious and cruel monster. Second, she made it seem like I had little choice in whether I was possessed by the Nightmare energy (which doesn’t exist), thus making me a victim. Third, she (and I) had addressed whether I was capable of performing my duties anymore. Lastly, she had dispelled the argument that I could be corrupted again in a very impressive way. “Wonderful,” Said Celestia, “And I believe that concludes everything on the roster for today. You are all dismissed.” There was a loud shuffling of hooves as the crowd of ponies walked out of the room, some sullen and a bit irked, others pleased with the outcome of the council session. Grass Leaf gave Celestia a humble nod as he departed. Celestia returned the gesture as well as a smile. I took that to mean that she didn’t think everypony on the council was an incompetent buffoon. As soon as everypony had left Celestia turned to me. She had a large goofy smile plastered on her face. “Well that went well, didn’t it?” “Exceedingly so. I must say, Tia, you are simply a genius when it comes to diplomacy! Better than a thousand years ago even. That Nightmare energy bit was quite ingenious if I must say so.” I returned her grin with one of my own, though mine was not quite as wide. “Yes, well at least that foul force won’t be able to affect you again.” Celestia said. What? Wait, did she actually believe that Nightmare energy nonsense she had spewed out? Surely she didn’t... “What do you mean, affect me...again?” I thought it would be best to see what Celestia actually knew rather than what I thought she knew. Celestia peered at me for a moment, smile fading. Then she gave a sigh. “Yes, I suppose you wouldn’t know much about the energy, it probably repressed you to the point where you weren’t even capable of realizing it existed.” Dear Tartarus...she actually believed the junk she was spewing out. I thought she had lied in order to help me. Instead I had found that she thought that all of those things had been the fault of an evil presence, one that had possessed me. One that had possessed me against my will... So if that were the case, then I would have to inform her of the truth. Or at least I should have. Instead I took a different path, one based on a single question? What if the truth affected Celestia? What if, when I told her it had been I, not some evil, that had assaulted her so long ago, that it had been I who refused to lower the Moon, that it had been I who had tried to take over Equestria a second time? No doubt she would become a little more suspicious of me. It was then that I decided to keep, perhaps, just one secret. Well, one more. “What say you and I go and eat some dinner, Lulu?” Asked Celestia with a wide smile once again visible on her visage. I bit the inside of my lip. While I would’ve loved to spend more time with my sister there was still one thing that had to be done. There was still one loose matter to be tied up. A matter of duty. “Actually, I feel quite drained. Perhaps you could lead me to my old quarters?” Celestia looked a little disheartened. Her ears bent back a bit. “Yes, of course. I’m sure you must be quite tired after the events of today. It can’t be easy being struck by the Elements of Harmony. We can have a little more time together tomorrow.” Celestia began walking out of the room as I followed her, anxiety for what awaited me perturbing my mind. ___ I stood in my room. It was the dead of Night and the only sounds were the soft patter of the guards hooves as they went their rounds. My room had not changed one bit in the time that I had been away. Celestia had kept it maintained over the past millennium, in hopeful expectancy that I would one day return. It was a testament to her undying love, her kindness. If the kindness she had been showing me was any indication of how she had ruled in my absence then it would be easy to assume that she was a kind and benevolent ruler. One that had grown quite a lot since I had last seen her. I stood in front of an old relic. My large station mirror. Upon walking into my room the first thing I had noted was that the lens was there. Strange, but expected. This was a new castle, yet I had a feeling that my mirror and that lens would appear. I immediately grasped it within a telekinetic grip and put it to use, looking for the entry point to the passageway leading into the library. I was not, however, looking to enter into the library. No, I had a different reason for seeking it out. My reason stemming from a sense of duty at this point, not a sense of personal want. I did not seek out any sort of knowledge at this moment. My motive was of a more sinister nature. I found the entry-point, took an extended breath, and phased through the silver lining of the mirror. The hallway was dark, unnaturally so. Home again, home again. Just like it had been in the previous times I had been there. I willed myself down the hallway, memories of the many times I had gone this way filling my head. The soft patter of my hooves on the ground lifted up century old dust. The hallway began to expand from its narrow self and into a full blown corridor. This was an indication that I was nearing the door that lead to the library. Whether it would be wood or obsidian, only fate knew. I could not help but feel at home. This place had been a sanctuary of respite for me. This was the place I could head towards when I needed to rest. And as strange as it sounded I missed the company of the library itself. For so long it had been my only friend, the only thing I could truly converse with. It was the only place I expressed everything I felt. The Library of the Night would always listen, and reply to me. It knew me and loved me just the same. And now I had to betray that friend. I had to take away its purpose and repress the knowledge which it held. It made me sick to even think about doing so, but there was simply no other option. My thoughts were interrupted as I ran head-long into a wall. I shook the stars out of my eyes and focused my vision. I looked at the cause to see not a wall, but a door. A small, age-worn door, stood before me. The dark oaken wood splintered and faded in several places, sometimes so much so it appeared bent. The spines of the door were rusted, the small bolts holding them into the structure tightened from oxidation. They looked as if they had been painted at one point, but that had long since faded away. The pointed edges were digging into the surface. The bottom of the door was scored along the middle, evidence of millenniums of abuse. The dust that gathered in those scores spoke of the neglect it had seen in recent times. I ran a booted hoof along the scores, feeling all those years as if I had been there to experience them. I regretted that the Library of the Night was alone. I felt for something that was of a non-pony nature. How strange. There was a splinter in the center of the door stretching outwards from the frame, forming a pocket. In that pocket lay a folded slip of paper. It was the one thing that lay there that wasn’t worn with age. No, the slip was not wrinkled and yellowed on the edges, it was white and beginning to open as if it had only recently been folded and placed. There was no doubt what it was or who it was meant for. The only thing that was left to be known was what it said. I lifted my hoof to slip rather than use my telekinesis. I wanted to savor the feel of it. I wanted to relish in the anticipation that came before finding out what my old friend had to say to me. I plucked the slip from its position, turning it over in my hoof, feeling the coarse edge of the paper. I could feel the faint bulges of pressed ink through the thin sheet. I wanted to stay like that, stay in that one moment before opening the page. I wanted to dream I was back in time, studying a letter given to me by my only friend. It had known, and I suppose still knew, me so well, would it really have been that hard for it to realize into my intentions? No, it knew and I wondered, and feared, what it had to say. It would have been so easy to ignore the note and proceed, living with the knowledge that this place was still with me. Whether it was a blissful ignorance or not wouldn’t really matter. But sadly, I was not allowed the privilege to do so. Not after this place had been here for me during my time of need. Even if it had been a factor in my corruption I still considered it a place of hope, a place and force I could call upon as something more than an ally. It was something more than an accomplice or a conspirator, it was a friend. A word I hardly was given to use. And I did not want to lose one of the few friends I had left, but I could not ignore it, that would be a cruelty to the world. I peeled the corner of the sheet away to allow the twice folded paper to open up. On the sheet were flowing streaks of ink. Each line was painted in an elegant cursive that was simply magnificent. The touch of the pen had not been so heavy as to smear, yet not so light as to fade. It was a work of art that held a pristine dignity. I feared the message behind this art. It took a bit of courage to finally read the letter, and a significant amount of resolve. The way in which I read the document was different. I did not read as I normally did, speeding through novels and absorbing info, but steadily hanging onto each word. Instead I went through each line with care and a soft touch, feeling the words. I don’t think I’ll ever forget what that letter said, even in its simplicity: Luna, It has been a long time. I’ve rather missed your presence here. it was ever so...marvelous. Perhaps you could be so kind as to grace me with it again? And with that, I do beckon you to enter my domain, my dear Princess of the Night. Forever Yours, The Library of the Night It sent a small tear sprawling down my cheek. It hurt, it truly did. Here I was, about to do what I intended to do, and yet my old friend was still so courteous and welcoming. It did not make me doubt myself, though. This had to be done, to protect those who couldn’t defend against their own ambitions. I pushed my way through the door, its steady creaking acting as music to my alert ears. Despite its age and the creaking of the rust and wood the door opened quite smoothly, no doubt another courtesy of my old friend. It only served to hurt me that this place was made so easy. Even though the Library most likely knew of my intentions. I emerged into a faint darkness, one very different from that of the corridor or of a dungeon. It was a comforting darkness, one that nurtured the soul. It was the same kind of comfort I received from looking upon my Night sky, the same kind of comfort that only a friend could give. This eerie darkness put forth by the Library was the equivalent of a friendly embrace. A gesture meant to warm me, to comfort me in this time. Ha, even now my friend was sympathetic to me. Even when it knew of its fate it still wanted to be there for me. Don’t let anypony ever say that an omniscient Library with untold knowledge and evil powers can’t be a splendid friend. I kept walking forward, towards the center of the Library. I spotted my round table there, solitary chair pulled out at an angle, beckoning me to sit. I smiled, a somber smile, and trotted over to that familiar place. Many a day and Night had been spent there, studying and researching the arcane mysteries and learning of history long-lost to the rest of the world. I think I would have burst into tears right about then had it not been for the presence of another note, lying on the table. This one was lain flat upon the table, edges leaning upwards towards the center. Another message to me, one last word from my old life. I leaned over the table, hooves sliding across the familiar surface, worn down by the years of use it had received. I placed a hoof on the paper, pulling it under my nose, preparing to read what would likely be the last thing I would ever receive from my friend. I had to turn my head away, once again afraid of what the note said. Of what the Library had to say to me. It was difficult to bring my eyes down to the paper. This letter was a bit lengthier than the one I has seen earlier, long cursive writing seeming to flow in columns as well as rows, as if organized into a graph. I could not help but smile. Such beautiful calligraphy. And all of it was just for my benefit. The letter itself was unforgettable. My Dearest Friend, In a way it is ironic; is it not? Here we are, with your upcoming performance ahead. A performance that will hurt us both, I, in a more physical way, and you, on a much deeper plane. A performance you would be unable to give unless I had taught you how. Yet, I still find myself prepared. I awaited the day you returned fervently, in fact, I craved it. Through the millennia that I have existed I have seen many a pony, and many a non-pony. Kings, queens, dictators, princes, princesses, monsters, stallions, and mares have all passed through here in the past. Yet none of them can compare to you, dear Luna. None of their aspirations, their desires, stemmed from reasons such as yours. None of them were so passionate or willing, none of them had your drive. Where their weaknesses only served to hinder them, you worked past them, head held high. You made your weaknesses bow to you. How I wish every being were more like you! In the past others have strived to do the same as you. Others have tried to do what you are about to. However, I believe you are the only one who has claim to me in a such a way. You are the only one who deserves to do this. The only one I trust to do this. Even now, knowing what I am to undergo, I do not wish a moment of it away. I still crave your presence within me, to feel such a tender yet strong soul within this domain. The torture that I am to be put through is nothing compared to you, my dear. I do not, and shall not, regret having known you. No force, no power, no pain could possibly cause me to wish any differently. Because, my dear, sweet, Luna, you are well worth the pain, and the hardship. And you better remember that. Forever (I Do Not Use The Word Lightly) Yours, Your Library of the Night My hooves shook for a moment, my mind going blank with pain. My lip quivered and I felt a sharp pain within my chest. I expected to be relieved. Relieved that my friend did not think any less of me for having to do what came next. Yet I found no relief within me. Just sorrow and an undying anguish. I stepped away from the table leaving the letter sitting upon it. I shook my head a few times, trying to clear the pain away. I still had a duty to my people. I still had to do something for them. I raised my head high, in honor of the Library, and began to charge my spell into my horn. Energy surrounded me as a long, sharp wind started whipping through the air. Dust lifted from its place on the ground, rising as the kinetic energy I released slowly forced it upwards. The room was ablaze with magic, but I let my eyes drop to the letter on the table. I tried to keep the spell steady, but the the letter filled every corner of my mind, bringing a stabbing torture with it. The torment loosened my concentration, resulting in a magical collapse, the aggregate of the spell falling back. It backlashed, burning my skin and forcing me to my knees. The floor was soft, seeming to catch me as I fell. The darkness that surrounded me seemed to close in, comforting me, trying to hold me. It seemed so concerned with me. I stood, knees feeling as if they would buckle under me. Tears streamed down my muzzle. My bones ached with the backlash of the spell. It was quite a dangerous one. I turned my attentions toward the table, eyes blinded with the salty tang of lacrima. The letter lay there, merely a blur to me. I used a hoof to weakly wipe away the tears. I gripped the letter telekinetically, pulling it towards me slowly. I did not want to damage something so dear. I gripped the letter, having let it drop into my hooves, inhaling the scent of freshly lain ink. There was a boxed outline on the edges of the white scroll, meant to direct the eye inwards. In the bottom right corner were four little words, scrawled in a manner so different from the rest of the letter. Those four little words simply read: It was a pleasure. The tears came in an abundance then, urged to flow by a friend’s departing words. It would have been so much easier if the place would fight back, choose to hate me. But no, I was to lose a friend today, not an enemy. On the day I returned to Equestria I had to lose my closest confidant and friend. But it was always me in the end, wasn’t it? It was always Luna who suffered. I wanted to curl up in a ball and sob. I wanted to lay there in the embrace of a friend, like I had in the past centuries. But I knew I could not. I could not give into what I wanted. Not again. I had to remain strong for my ponies, my country, my ideals. I charged the spell again. The dust around me lifted itself, scattering in every direction once again. Wind appeared from nowhere. The ground seemed to shake as my horn glowed a dark violet. I closed my eyes, fearing that if they remained open I would lose my resolve. Small tendrils began to protrude from the flooring, propelled forwards and upwards by a dark force. They grew into the air and latched onto their surroundings, wrapping around the darkness like kudzu. I began to sweat with the effort of the spell. The shear amount of power and concentration required for the spell was beyond insane. I was casting a variation of the “Nightmare Charm.” One I had improvised within the Library of the Night so many years ago. In this improvisation the draining stage of the spell took on a new meaning. Instead of temporary drain that absorbed the power of another for a few hours, this absorbed the energy and made it a part of the caster. It was basically a Necromancer’s spell. The caster took on the power of their target, and the target themselves, and absorbed them. They would hold them within themselves, trapping them in their mind to be used as a source of power. Something to draw strength and knowledge from in future endeavors. It was a spell I never intended, nor thought, to use. As I was immortal the spell essentially guaranteed that whomever I cast it upon would be robbed of something far more dear than their life: their freedom. They would be a prisoner within the back of my mind for as long as I lived. Which would be a long time. And now...now I was doing that to a friend. I was taking away everything that gave my Library purpose and meaning, locking its knowledge away. And my reason for doing so? I could not let anymore ponies stumble upon my friend, I could not let them be corrupted as I had. Corrupted by their own ambition, their own want for disaster and power. I thought I felt something rub against my cheek, something similar to a nuzzle. I felt a distant, almost mechanical voice whisper, “Goodbyes are not permanent.” There was bang and flash. A brilliant darkness swept across the entire room, my darkness this time. Then, a moment later, it evaporated... I laid still a second, feeling something soft and plush under me. I opened my eyes. A bed. More specifically, my bed. I lifted my head from the pillow it rested upon and looked to the dresser. The lens was gone. As was the mirror. Now all that laid there was a wall. I curled into a ball and sobbed, unleashing tears I had held for so long. Were all my friends destined to leave me? Was that the price of immortality, or of being Luna?