Chapter 2
Going Bananas
Mr. and Mrs. Cake were busy with their work, though were still confused on what Pinkie had brought back from her trip to Canterlot. While they prepared more treats to put behind their display counter, the sound of male laughter was heard as something hopped down the stairs jovially. The Monkey King turned to the married couple, showing them a toothy grin "Hello, sir and madam! I'm pretty sure you're having a sweet time at the moment, so I'll just leave you two lovebirds alone!" He cartwheeled towards the door, opening it up and waltzing outside after shutting it.
Mr. and Mrs. Cake stared with indescribable shock at what had just transpired in their home/ workplace. They snapped out of it when the door opened again to reveal the Monkey King peering his head through it "Oh, almost forgot!" He pulled out a random pie and tossed it straight at Mr. Cake's face; the filling that splattered revealed to be banana creme. The Monkey King heaved a sigh, then gave a nonchalant wave "Just wanted to get that out of my system! Ta ta!" He zipped back out and slammed the door.
While the tin on Mr. Cake's face slid down before hitting the ground with a small clang, the married couple wanted to scream. What stopped them was remembering that not only were the twins were busy napping, their unsuspected visitor descended from the stairs. They instantly ceased their work and broke into the gallop up the stairs and into Pinkie's room. What they found caused them to look as if they saw the very face of Tartarus itself...
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The Monkey King hopped around and noticed the colorful change in scenery that paled in comparison to what he was used to. Pastel-colored ponies as far as the eye can see! After a brief scan in his surroundings, the Monkey King did a rapid spin before he was found wearing a pink blouse, and his wild mane curled into pigtails. He folded his hands together as he batted his fake eyelashes with an ecstatic grin "Oh, Mommy! Daddy! This is just what I've always wanted!!" He spoke in a high-pitched girly voice. He proceeded to skip into town while singing an offkey tune, not even bothering to notice the collective glances of Ponyville's residence; many were shocked, but others were just straight dumbfounded to see a monkey skipping around town in a dress.
After he skipped into town long enough, he ditched his outfit by ripping it off and tossing away, conjuring his staff as he spun it around and spoke normally "Okay, warm-up bit over! Where to start~..." He stroked his large beard as he looked around, then noticed a hospital in the distance. The Monkey King grinned as he hopped onto a nearby building and parkoured his way over to the hospital, leaping from roof-to-roof. Once again, he ignored the many degrees of shock he was inflicting on ponies.
Inside of the hospital, Dr. Stable and his duo of nurses were busy dealing with a cyan-coated earth pony with a frazzled grey mane barking like a dog while sitting on a patient slab. The doctor groaned as he rubbed his head "This is infuriating! We've tried everything in our knowledge of medical science but it's as if this mare is incurable!! What makes her tick!?" The mare was panting as her tail wagged feverishly.
One of the nurses frowned "Do you think we should knock her out with a sedative and contact the medical branch in Canterlot?"
The doctor groaned "That won't be necessary. We're aware that the doctors in Canterlot charge top dollar for their medical operations, and I doubt even THEY would find a breakthrough that would hope to even rehabilitate this nut!"
"Well, Doc, her name IS Screw Loose. Maybe she was just born this way..." The other nurse pointed out in a matter-of-fact tone.
Dr. Stable glared at the nurse who made her claim "Poppycock! Do you honestly think that Ponyville can even handle a mare like this one here!?" He directed his hoof at Screw Loose, who licked the doctor's cheek and fueled his irritation further.
The first nurse held up a hoof "Well, there's a number of wacky mares I'd include on my list that are already frolicking around Ponyville, and they seem just fine! Besides, maybe we gotta place her in the right environment if there's nothing else for us to turn to..."
The doctor looked back at his patient "But this is nothing more than an advanced psychological disease! One that is unheard of even by the most brilliant medical minds! But what could it be?"
"I'll tell you what it is..." A throated voice called out.
The trio of medical professionals turned to see a strange bipedal individual stroll into the medical chamber using a cane to help him walk. He was wearing a grey jacket with a blue shirt under it, and beige slacks. His red hair was small and unkempt, but his beard was enormous. He approached them with a serious frown "Never thought I'd actually say this..." The stranger looked over at the panting mare "But it's Lupus!"
The doctor widened his eyes "But that's impossible! It's never Lupus!! And who are you anyway!? How did you get in here?"
The stranger pointed a finger at the mare "Of course it is! Here, take a look!" He pointed his cane at the mare and it zapped a magic beam from its end. The beam hit the mare, and after a brief flash, she was found wearing a wolf's costume "There! You see it now? Lupus!!" The mare barked twice before it broke into a convincing howl.
The trio of medical professionals stared at their patient in disbelief before turning to the newcomer in fright. The doctor pointed a shaking hoof "Wh-Who are you?"
The being did a rapid spin before looking like a monkey wearing a bat-themed costume, leering its pupilless eyes at the group as he spoke in a deep and raspy tone "I'm your worst nightmare..." He then unmasked himself with a chipper grin, talking normally "Also known as the Monkey King! How's it going?"
The ponies screamed as they galloped out of the room. The Monkey King was found in his regular clothes as he watched them leave in confusion, before folding his arms in a pout "Great! My first official act of comedy in a long time and no one's laughing!!" He shifted his eyes at Screw Loose panting and huffed "Should've made you a hyena..." He then shrugged with a smile "Oh well, better find some fun elsewhere!!" The Monkey King cartwheeled out of the hospital while laughing.
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Lyra trotted out the door onto her porch and looked around with a frown "I hope Pinkie manages to get the job done by tomorrow..." She said to herself in a sullen tone "I really want everypony to know the existence of-" Her jaw dropped when she noticed what appeared to be a monkey wearing a red helmet, white t-shirt, and jeans riding on a skateboard.
The Monkey King grinned as he effortlessly rode on the dirt path "Yeah! Totally radical, dude!" He shouted in a mock beach bum tone. He did a heelflip as he rode towards Sweet Apple Acres.
Lyra blinked before she galloped after the Monkey King with ambitious fervor "Hey!! Wait for me!! Come back!!"
The Monkey King looked behind to see he was being followed and smiled dreamily to himself "Ah, my public! Well, if she wants a show, may as well give one to her!!" He began doing a series of skateboarding tricks. He started with basic tricks before he began doing entirely bizarre tricks such dancing wildly on his board as he jumped in the air and acting like the board was a guitar.
Lyra grinned as she galloped 'So graceful! So majestic!' Her grin widened as he stared at the Monkey King's paws 'So HANDY!' She called out while she was full of energy "Excuse me, mister! Can you please stop so I can talk to you?"
The Monkey King did so as he skidded to a halt and changed back into his regular clothes; his skateboard turning into his staff. Lyra finally reached him and beamed at his appearance "Finally! After so long, I have proof humans exist!" She laid a hoof on his paw to feel its texture.
The Monkey King jerked his paw away and snapped irritably "Watch the fur, lady! I'm royalty!"
Lyra hopped up and down jubilantly "That's even better! Can you please tell me all that you know about the humans!?"
The Monkey King arched an eyebrow "Humans?" He scratched his head "You mean those kind of people that stand on two legs like this?" He pointed at his set of legs with his staff, to which Lyra nodded her head "And have a pair of hands like these?" He flashes his paws at Lyra's face, and she stared at them with widened pupils of ecstasy as she nodded "And they tend to wear plenty of clothes and work at different jobs, like this?"
He did a rapid spin before he wore a blue business suit and framed glasses, talking into a strange device as he looked smug and sophisticated"Yes, hello, Cheryll? I'd like for you to cancel my appointment with the committee today! I'm going to have a big lunch!" He spoke in a mock posh tone.
Lyra nodded frantically with her barely-contained grin "Yes yes YES! That's exactly like them!"
The Monkey King went back into his normal clothes before he shrugged "Yeah, I've seen 'em! But I don't know where any are at when all I see are crayola-coated ponies! You've been a good sport today, so how about a souvenir?" He pulled out a random yellow baseball cap with a picture of him grinning on it and placed it on Lyra's head "Always good to have a fan! See ya!"
Before he could leave, Lyra stopped him "Wait! Please take me with you! I want to know EVERYTHING about humans so I can share our knowledge with the rest of Equestria!"
The Monkey King stared at Lyra before he pondered her offer in mock thought. he then grinned at Lyra "Well, I've never had my own mount before!" He hopped up before he landed on the mint unicorn's back "Why don't you show me what's good about this place and MAYBE I'll tell you what I know?"
Lyra grinned despite the Monkey King being on her back "Deal!!"
The Monkey King giggled "Then in THAT case..." He pointed his staff towards Sweet Apple Acres with mischievous ambition in his eyes "High ho, Silver!! Away~!!"
Lyra frowned "My name is Lyra..."
The Monkey King scowled "I know what I said! Giddy up!" He lightly kicked his legs against Lyra's midsection.
Lyra decided to go along with the Monkey King's joke, knowing that she was about to bond with a connection to humans. She reared onto her hind legs and gave a whinny as she began to gallop towards Sweet Apple Acres. As she galloped, she looked up at the Monkey King "You know, for somepony that knows about humans, you sure are light!"
The Monkey King smirked "Why thank you! I work out!" He flexed his left arm as it produced a small lump on his bicep.
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Back in town, a lavender unicorn mare made her way towards Sugarcube Corner while noticing some murmurs amongst the pony folk. She looked around "I wonder what everypony's talking about...Maybe Pinkie can tell me while I get some food!"
When she reached the candy-themed establishment, she opened the door and looked around to see the store looking empty "Hello? Pinkie? Mr. and Mrs. Cake? It's me, Twilight!" She called out as she looked around.
Twilight's ears flickered when she heard the faint sound of two crying ponies and winced "Uh oh...I probably woke up the twins..." She trotted up the stairs and went to go look in the babies' room, only to hear the crying come from Pinkie's room "Huh?" She went up to Pinkie's door and knocked three times "Hello? Is anypony there?"
The lavender bookworm opened the door to see Mr. and Mrs. Cake crying in the center of Pinkie's room. She approached them with a sad look in her eyes "Mr. and Mrs. Cake? What's wrong? Is Pinkie gone somewhere far away?"
Mrs. Cake turned to look at Twilight with her tear-stained eyes as she sniffled "It's much worse..." She presented a pink pony puppet in her forelegs "Look!"
Twilight blinked "Is that...a puppet of Pinkie? But why are you crying?"
Mr. Cake managed to swallow his sadness and explained the situation to Twilight, from how Pinkie went shopping to Canterlot to how they noticed a large monkey wearing clothes come from down the stairs and throwing a pie at Mr. Cake before going into town. Twilight stared at the puppet "But that doesn't make any sense...Unless..." Her eyes widened "Could it be possible that this puppet is actually Pinkie, and that monkey is the one responsible for doing this to her!?"
Mr. Cake looked at the Pinkie-turned-puppet and frowned "If that's the case, then somepony has to find him and figure out a way to reverse this problem!"
Twilight looked determined "Don't worry, you two! I'll find my friends and figure out a way to bring Pinkie back!! Hopefully, we'll have this problem resolved by sundown!" She galloped out of Sugarcube Corner in search of her friends, leaving the Cakes to mourn over their hyperactive friend's current state.
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Lyra and the Monkey King finally made it to Sweet Apple Acres and looked upon the vast orchard of apple trees it offered. The mint unicorn looked up at the Monkey King with an eager smile "So can you tell me how humans lived their lives back then? Could they be the one's responsible for how us ponies live in Equestria?"
The Monkey King dismounted off of Lyra and waved a paw in a shooing motion "I'll answer ya, gimme a minute!" He looked at the many trees "Hmm, apples...Apples ARE good fruit...But you know what's a better fruit?" He pointed his staff and zapped one of the trees with magic. Some of the apples on the trees shook before they morphed into bananas "You guessed it! Bananas!"
Lyra gasped in awe "So you know magic like unicorns do!? That's incredible!"
He grinned as he readied his staff for another zap "This actually reminds me of an old song I know!" The Monkey King began zapping trees and conjuring bananas he sang to himself "I like to eat, eat, eat apples and bananas!" He zapped other trees in different poses, often showing off "I love to ate, ate, ate ay-ples and ba-nay-nays!" The Monkey King performed a handstand as he held the staff with his feet and zapped a distant tree "I like to eat, eat, eat ee-ples and be-nee-nees!"
Lyra was impressed that the Monkey King knew magic, and was even fascinated to hear a song that was possibly famous among the humans as she sat on her haunches and clopped her forehooves rhythmically with a content smile as he continued "I love to ote, ote, ote oh-ples and bo-no-nos!"
"What in tarntation!?"
Both Lyra and the Monkey King perked up and looked behind them to see an orange mare wearing a stetson hat looking dumbstruck that some of the trees held bananas along with apples. She glared at the one responsible "Who do ya think y'all are t' mess with my family's crops!?"
Lyra gave a nervous smile "Umm, hello, Applejack! I was just watching my friend work his magic!" She turned to the Monkey King "What was your name again, sir?"
The Monkey King turned to face Lyra and Applejack as he stood tall and proud before he struck an arrogant pose "I happen to be known as the Monkey King! The king of comedy! The lord of laughter! The grand poobah of ha-ha!!"
Applejack scowled "Think yerself a comedian, do ya?" She stomped a hoof in the dirt "Well Ah ain't laughin'!! Change 'im back b'fore Ah buck ya somethin fierce!!"
The Monkey King stared before frowned in disdain "Not funny, huh!? And you're looking for a challenge?" He pulled out a random brown poncho and threw it over him, letting it descend onto him as he was found with a stetson of his own and a fake cigar in his mouth. He spread out his legs and arms in a defensive stance as he stared down Applejack "Go ahead..." He squinted his eyes as he spoke in a deep and raspy tone "Make my day..."
The two stared each other down as they waited to make their move. Lyra shifted her glances between Applejack and the Monkey King and stood between them "C'mon, everypony! Can't we talk this out? This was just a misunderstanding!"
Applejack steamed from her nostrils as she glared at the Monkey King "Kindly step aside, Lyra! This critter's lookin' fer trouble an' Ah'm gonna give it to 'im!"
The Monkey King was silent, before he blurted out "Draw!!" As quick as a flash, he pulled out a pencil and a piece of paper from under his poncho and scribbled on the paper before he revealed it was a crude drawing of Applejack "Ta-da~!! Try and beat that! This is REAL art!" He grinned triumphantly, but it vanished when he saw Applejack galloping towards him. The Monkey King dropped his drawing and jumped over the farmpony, only for her to crush the drawing in her path. The Monkey King scowled after he landed "You uncultured swine! That drawing took a lot of effort!!"
Applejack skidded to a halt and turned to face the Monkey King "Worry about yerself, partner!" She galloped towards him again.
The Monkey King was surprisingly found in his regular clothes as Applejack charged again, and he gave a bored sighed before he pulled out and peeled a banana, swallowing it whole "I think it'd be a lot better if I just gave you the slip!" He tossed the banana peel in front of Applejack the moment she drew closer, and she was unfortunate to slip on it as she slid across the ground. The Monkey King lazily moved out of the way with a smile for Applejack to slam face-first into a tree.
Lyra gasped "Oh no! Applejack's hurt!"
The Monkey King rolled his eyes "Psssh! Relax! She's fine!" he zipped next to her and pulled out another pencil and paper, scribbling it before he turned a dazed Applejack to face Lyra. He placed the paper over her muzzle, which showed a crude drawing of a grin "See?? All peachy keen!" He grinned as he slung an arm over Applejack's shoulder.
Lyra frowned "But what if she-"
The mint unicorn was surprised when the Monkey King zipped next to her with the same grin "Look, she's just the victim of a simple gag! She'll live! Now what say you show me a good hot spot so we can cut loose!"
Lyra tilted her head with a smile "How about the local club?"
The Monkey King chattered cheerfully "Excellent! I always love a good club!" he said as his staff shapeshifted into a spiked club. He then hopped onto Lyra's back and pointed his club forward "Onward, noble steed!"
Lyra rolled her eyes as she then galloped off. As long as she was about to be granted knowledge from ages past, she was okay with hanging out with the Monkey King.
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Twilight figured that since she was dealing with a supposed monkey, she knew exactly where to go first. She galloped to a cottage near the outskirts of Ponyville and reached the front door, knocking on it as she waited for an answer.
The door opened to reveal a yellow pegasus with a flowing pink mane. She looked timid at first before she recognized her visitor "Oh, hello, Twilight! Is there something I can help you with?"
Twilight frowned "Actually, yes! Fluttershy, there's a wild monkey roaming around that somehow turned Pinkie Pie into a small wooden puppet! We have to find the others so we can figure out how to stop him!"
Fluttershy gasped as she swung her door open completely with a smile "A monkey!? This is gre-" Her smile vanished when he processed Twilight's informaton "D-Did you say Pinkie became a-...a-...puppet?" She squeaked feebly.
Twilight laid a hoof on Fluttershy's shoulder "I know it sounds too good to be true, but we have to hurry and stop this! We don't even know where he's at now!"
"The British are coming!! The British are coming!!"
Twilight and Fluttershy looked on the path to Ponyville and seen the Monkey King dressed in a blue coat and a black hat while riding Lyra into Ponyville with a look of mock fear.
Lyra looked up at the Monkey King with a smile "Are the British a good subspecies of humans?" She asked as a galloped into town.
Twilight and Fluttershy stared with widened eyes, and looked at each other before they made their own course into Ponyville.
End of Chapter 2