//------------------------------//
// 1. "Intro" (Alternate Title "When The Lives We Live Are Only Golden Plated") 
// Story: How Cruel Is The Golden Rule? 
// by TLC 
//------------------------------//

		


1
Intro


I walk down these empty streets, alone with my thoughts and my thoughts alone... I usually do this to keep my mind busy so it doesn't drift back to....Never mind. My name is Carrot Top. No. It's Golden. Golden Harvest. That other name was given to me by my friends due to my appearance. I live in this backwater town called Ponyville. It's in between Canterlot and Manehattan by several miles. I've lived here for a few years now, and not much has changed. I live in a home far from town, alone. Just me, myself, and I. One big, happy, go-bucking-lucky family... Yes. I'm bitter. But that's what happens when you let life get you so far down, you can't see the sky.

I wasn't always like this, I guess nopony ever really is. I was happy, or I thought I was. It was me and my friends...Twilight, Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Cherilee...Cherilee. Heh, she was nicest pony I had ever known. I guess you can say I liked Cherilee a little more than as a friend. Of course, however, that was frowned upon.....I loved her. I really did. She kept me in line when I really started to doubt my reason for existing, she was there when I almost ended it all right there. Just one step from free-falling into a forgiving sleep, but she pulled me from the cliff. She kicked my flank that night for...Celestia knows how long. She cried while she did it, promising me that it hurt her more than it hurt me. Could have fooled me.

She told me another thing that night, which kinda broke my heart, she told me that she loved me...But not the way I loved her. She promised me that if I had ever tried to do something as stupid as suicide again...she'd do it herself. We laid on the top of the cliff for the rest of that night. Not saying a word, just side by side, staring at the night sky, crying in each others arms. I never liked seeing her sad. Still don't. The day afterwards, we didn't have to say anything, we just went on with our business as usual. 

But here I am, walking these streets in the bucking cold, freezing my flank off for what? To wallow in my own self pity? I don't need this. I guess I'll head over to Twilight's. She always seems to be awake at this hour. By the looks of it. It's around eleven o' clock. Maybe they have some carrot soup...

____________________________________________________________________


I knocked on the door frantically, not on purpose. It's kinda hard to knock with a steady hoof when you're being raped by hypothermia. The wooden door to the library opened to reveal the baby dragon, Spike. Twilight's number one assistant. He's nice, wish he was older. 

"Hey, Spike. Is Twilight awake?" He looked up at me, scratching his eyes like he didn't recognize me. Or I had just woken him up. Oops.

"Yeah, she's in the kitchen." He yawned and turned to face the inside of the library. "TWILIGHT! IT'S CARROT TOP!" Celestia, I hate that nickname.

Twilight ran to the door and pulled me in, like she was trying to keep the warm air in. Before I knew it, I was sitting on a couch with a cup of tea in front of me. Lemon twist with a carrot on the side. I must have died, because this is what they would give me once I'm in heaven. I looked around to find out that only Twilight and I were left in the room.

Twilight sat beside me and hugged me. "It's good to see you! I haven't seen you around much anymore." 

That smile...Wait what did she ask? "Yeah, well. Stuff's been going on...and you know..." She didn't. "I don't want to bore you."

"Not at all!" She jumped up off the couch and stood in front of me. "You know you can tell me anything, you just have to be willing to tell me."

She obviously wasn't gonna let this go. "Well you know...Gardening....planting...seeding..." Twilight cocked her head at me. 

"That's all the same thing. Are you hiding something from me?" She got closer. "What's been going on, Carrot? You've been away from me and the mares for awhile and we're starting to get worried."

I couldn't let this get the better of me. "No, really. I'm fine." I tried to get up and leave, but she push me back onto the couch and pinned my hooves back. 

"Carrot Top. I know you better then that." Her stare pierced my soul. I felt the urge to break down and cry right there, knowing she would comfort me, but I couldn't. 

"If you knew me at all, you'd know my name isn't Carrot Top, Twilight!" I tried to struggle, but I felt something holding me back other then her. A purple aura wrapped it self around me and kept me still.

"Okay, Golden!" Thank you. "What's your problem?! It's been two weeks! It's like your avoiding everypony on purpose!" Her face came closer to mine, I saw tears in her eyes. " Why don't you just tell me? Don't you trust me?" 

I was caught off by the sound of doubt in her voice. "Of course I trust you, Twi...It's just..." I couldn't. I wanted to open up to her, tell her everything but I kept it inside and just sat there with my head down. She lifted one of her hooves up to my face, tilting my head back to look me in the eyes. I froze, but I also felt relaxed when I saw purple eyes. 

Her face came even closer. "Please...You're hurting yourself this way..." She knew that I was in pain by the look in my eyes as tears blurred them. "You're hurting me."

That was it. I couldn't hold back anymore. Tears fell from my eyes as I screamed out in frustration. I acted like an foal who got put in time out. Here I am, being held against my will, being forced to cry out the pain that's just gonna come back later. 

She and her magic let go of me and I lurched forward. I tackled her and we both fell to the floor. All I could think to do was bury my face into her chest and just cry. "I don't want to do this anymore, Twi! I can't take the pain!" I screamed into her fur as she held me tighter. "I don't know what it is! Nothing helps! I need something! Anything..." I cried and shouted stuff like that for a couple of hours before she calmed me down.

She stroked my mane and whispered into my ear. "Don't worry, I'm here. Shh, it's okay..." 

That's all I want. Is for somepony to tell me everything is fine, but that can't happen. Twilight's nice, but she's with Fluttershy. Rarity has Applejack, Pinkie's nuts, and Cherilee... 

I guess you can kinda see where I'm coming from and where I'm going now, huh? I'm a wreck. I can't sleep. I can't eat as much as without throwing it up in disgust. I can't garden without breaking down. My body is rejecting it self. I'm alone...Is that it? I'm just lonely? No. I won't accept that.

I approached my home and turn towards the cliff where Cherilee saved me. In the distance, I see the moon and how it's heading downwards. Another sleepless night filled with tears and shit. 

I walked into my home and looked around, it was just as I left it. Papers and gardening tools scattered about. I placed my coat on the couch and walked to my room. I had several plaques on the walls from gardening competitions and poetry jams. It all didn't matter. I collapsed on the bed and curled into a ball. I stroked the side of the bed that was empty. Tears fell down my face as I slowly drifted off to sleep....




And I saw Celestia cry in the reflection of my enemies,
And all the lovers with no time for me,
And all of the mothers raise their foals...to stay away from me...