Chapter 10: Meow or Never
*drip*
*drip*
*drip*
The sewers of Baltimare. Honest to god, not the worst place I have ever had the pleasure of visiting. Sure it’s dark, wet and somewhat smelly, but so are the back-rooms of McDonalds. All things considered, it made sense for the run-away rodents to gather down here. As a temporarily hiding place, this was the bomb!
The corridors twisted and turned constantly. Most ways were almost completely impenetrable from the water or pipes. I would never have found my way around down here. It was a bloody maze is what I’m saying.
“I hate mazes.” I muttered to myself as I tried to escape an especially annoying knot of pipes. Should I ever find the genius who designed this logic-forsaken place, I’d... I’d scratch him or something. “Who needs this much piping?!”
“I told ya, didn’t I?” Rocko said from a few meters in front of me, his small size making it easy for him to navigate the piping system. He had opted to work as my guide down here. Apparently the rodents in Baltimare (other cities are available) had a ‘connection’ to the underground and dark places. “This place just ain’t cool man. Are you sure you wanna do this?”
“Listen, we need more men. If we want to have any chance of bringing down Monkey, then these guys should be our best hope. If I can get them back to the gang, then we just might get you guys back on top.” My left back leg got stuck between two pipes. “Oh goddammit!”
We were quiet for a time while I continued my way through the network of ill-placed pipes. “You know...” Rocko began. “I really don’t understand you.” I responded with a ‘HA!’. He wasn’t the first to say that to me. “No, I’m serious dude. You just come into the gang, no reason at all, and now you want to help us take over da city again? Just what’s yo deal?”
I stopped, somehow hanging upside down from a valve. “Life would be incredibly dull if we had answers to all of our questions Rocko.” I answered right before I fell down on the ground.
He let out a groan of frustration. “Listen dude, even if you had a plan, which I don’t think ya actually hav’, it could take ages to find these guys. These tunnels-”
“Why can I talk?” I interrupted him. He gave me a look that could best be described as ‘WTF?’. “No really, I can talk, you can talk, but I’ve seen animals that don’t talk. What’s the deal?”
“...Why now of all times, do you wanna know this?”
“It’s been bugging me... and I need a moment to get myself free of this part.” I gestured with a nod of my head, to a knot of pipes that would make a scout piss himself with glee.
Rocko let out a groan and pinched his temples. “Right... there’s three kinda animals. Alpha, Beta ‘n Gamma, you follow?”
“Clear as day.” I responded with two legs in the air.
“OK, Alphas can talk ta anyone, and I do mean anyone. Other animals, dragons, ponies, griffins, you name it! There ain’t that many of them, but it seems like ya one of ‘em. Like Billy Boss‘n me.”
“You’re an Alpha as well?” My question came out oddly, as my head had taken refuge in an open pipe.
“You betcha! Now then, there’s Betas. These guys can only talk tah other animals. These guys are the most... eh... more...” He snapped his fingers a few times.
“Common?”
“Yeah! Common ‘n shit. And finally; Gammas. These guys can only talk tah their own kind. Bird to bird, cat tah cat and all that. They ain’t that... common, but there’s more Gammas than Alphas.”
I finally pulled myself free from the system with a final hard pull. “Well that was certainly educational-” *clank* “...Think that valve was important?”
“...I hope not." He muttered as he jumped onto my back. "But listen; how are we gonna find these guys? They could be anywhere! There’s lots’a layers in these sewers...is that drums?”
The sound of drums echoed through the tunnels. It sounded tribal with its rhythm and beat. I glanced back to Rocko for clarification. He nodded and I ran towards the sound, finally free of the pipe-requiem, quiet as a cat.
I know, I know.
“For generations we, the inhabitants of Baltimare, have been tormented! Tormented on the surface! BUT NO MORE I SAY!” The lab-coat wearing squirrel proclaimed to the crowd gathered. He adjusted his weird spiral-glasses and began speaking again. “Soon, my-eh, I mean OUR perfect world will be reality!”
The crowd let out a roar...or something that was probably supposed to be a roar. It lacked any form of enthusiasm and energy.
From our perch on a small platform, we looked down on the gathering. Every single one of them was dressed as...I think the closest thing I could relate them to was Mayans. “Are these the guys?” I whispered to Rocko beside me.
“Yeah, it’s them alright.” He frowned. “What’s that guy up to this time?”
“The guy rambling about salvation?” He nodded. “Who is he?”
“His name’s Insanu. He’s a... doctor or something.” I actually went cross-eyed for a second. I could take Equestria throwing a few cartoon characters my way, but now we’re going into a scary territory. The place called ‘Copyright-infringement’. “He’s got real sensitive eyes. Can’t stay in da sun for too long without some serious shades. Even then he’s gotta be careful.”
He eyed the group again. “But I don’t get why da guys are following him.”
Insanu kept his crazed ramblings going. “No more shall we fear the sun! Celestia’s reign of terror is no more!” Wait, what? “The coming of the shadow-god is upon us! Our freedom is within our grasp! Let this totem show us our lord and savior!” With that, a blanket was thrown off of the totem-pole behind him. The totem depicted a cat with goat horns, riding in... a minecart...
…
...Well, shit.
What was even worse was the white mouse bound to the totem. Without being an expert on tribal rituals, I could tell that it meant bad news for captive. Rocko's eyes shot up when he saw the... girl, I think. Biology is hard, okay?!
I repeat: well, shit.
“Let this pagan become the vessel of his coming. Through her sacrifice, the lord shall rise from his prison.” He pulled a controller with a big red button on it, out from under his podium. “Prepare for the ritual at twilight my brethren. Tonight, we shall become free.” With that, he walked off to god knows where, while the rest began dancing in circles around the fire centered in the room.
I gestured Rocko to follow me and began walking up through the tunnel we had come from.
We had found a little remote place behind a big pile of scrap, away from the campsite of the Mayan-mouse.
“This is bad, this is bad, this is bad, this is bad...” Rocko was pacing back and forth muttering to himself. Personally I was doing something that I rarely do. I was thinking.
Yeah, give me some space here.
“Listen Rocko, I know you’re worried, but can you worry in peace? I’m trying to think up a plan of attack or something.”
He stopped abruptly and turned to me. “‘Or something’?! THEY’RE GONNA KILL HER! WE DON’T HAVE TIME TO THINK! LET’S JUST RUSH IN THERE AND GRAB HER AND THEN LEAVE-” You’ll be surprised by how effective a simple knock on the head is, when people are panicking. “Right. I’m sorry dude, thinkin’ ain’t my strong side.”
“Pft, that makes two of us. Listen, we don’t know if they’re actually gonna kill her.”
“He said ‘sacrifice’.”
“...Touché.”
I usually do things as I go along, but if we had to get her out alive, there wasn't room for failure. A plan was needed. I looked around me trying to find something that could help us. Nothing but old rags and planks that people had dumped in the sewers over the years. “If everything else fails, we can always knock them out with 2x4s.” I mused, trying to make light of the situation.
Remember the knock on the head? Yeah, Rocko is a hell of alot stronger than someone his size have any right to be. He actually ended up slamming my face into the ground with an axe-kick to my head. When I looked up from the floor he grabbed my whiskers and I swear that I could see fire in his eyes.
“Listn’ Jazz. She is my friend! Right now her life is in danger and I am gonna do whatever it’ll take to get her outta there, understood?! DON’T YA DARE MAKE FUN OF THIS!” He roared, remarkably loud in my face. “Now, get tah thinkin’ and help out, or go home!” He let go of me and walked a little ways away.
There was a tense silence as I simply stared at him somewhat embarrassed. I hadn’t meant to joke about it...Or well, that exactly what I meant to do, but otherwise there’s a good chance I’d freak out. I can usually avoid freaking out because I have a plan or at least a vague idea of how to get through a situation.
It was then that everything that had happened through these two weeks, came flooding at me. Being sent to another world, getting a new body, meeting a god, escaping the mafia and now trying to rescue someone I’ve never met before from a semi-insane squirrel and a bunch of wannabe Mayans. How the hell had I managed to stay sane with all of this happening?
What about my family? What about my friends? I just left everyone I knew for the chance for some adventures. My sense of curiosity finally got the best of me I think.
“Who is she?” I asked tentatively.
Rocko let out a sigh. “Her name’s Lilly. She’s an old friend from when I was a kid.” He cringed at bit at the mention of his past. Guess it’s not something he’s proud of, whatever it is. “I’ve known her pretty much my whole life. If...If I lost her...”
In the short time I had known Rocko, I had gotten to know him fairly well. He was a tough guy. One of those people you'd cross the street to avoid. One of those people whose smack-talk isn't just talk. He wasn’t a guy to lightly shed tears.
Which means that the quivering voice was very real.
I gave him an understanding smile. Worrying about friends is something that I can get behind. “Got it. Don’t worry, we’ll think of something.” OK, if I can’t get back to my own world, then I might as well make the best of it. Find a place for me in the new place and make some friends. First thing’s first; help Rocko’s friend.
‘What to do, what to do? OK, take inventory. What do we have? Some wood, some rags and a shit-ton of scrap.’ I raised an eyebrow when I looked closer at the scrap-pile near us.
“What’s this?” I jumped onto a box and removed a large board from the pile, which obscured something rather surprising.
“…”
“Is that...”
“Yes Rocko... yes it is...”
“But why is it...”
“People throw everything in the sewers nowadays, my friend.”
I ran over to the rags and took out a piece of red cloth and began cutting it into shape with a claw. Now draped in my new fancy, red sleeveless shirt, I struck a pose. “Rocko, I hope you like to learn stuff, 'cus I'm gonna teach you about something that we humans like to call 'shock and awe'.”
Insanu entered the chamber once again, now wearing a crooked smile on his face. Things were going swimmingly, all according to plan. All he needed to do now, was getting rid of the one person who knew what was really going on. “Shame really, Lilly had been such a wonderful assistant up till now. Maybe I should just brainwash her instead? Nah, sticking to the basics is the way to go.” He stopped for a second. “I really should stop speaking about my plans out loud.”
With that, he walked onto the stage again and spoke in a loud voice. “Brothers! The time has come for the ritual to be-Wait a second... What the hell is that music?”
Oh, they never saw us coming.
Out from one of the sideways of the chamber, came a minecart at full speed. In the cart was a mouse and a cat, both playing air-guitar. The cat wore a red shirt with no sleeves on and the mouse, the same, but blue.
On the front of the minecart was the words ‘Billy and Jimmy’s Swagwagon’ written.
The cart travelled through the gathering of mice that had, thankfully, given way for the big cart. A small grey voles looked at the vehicle with astonishment. He had not heard of such glorious things from others than his uncle Caboose, the vehicle-destroyer.
The cart came to a screeching halt beside the totem-pole. The feline cut the ropes quickly and the mouse caught the unconscious prisoner in his arms.
The duo gave each other a brofist before the black cat turned to the audience.
“Radical dude!”