//------------------------------// // Chapter 8: Operation Roasted Marshmallow, Part 2: Some News // Story: Ponies on Red Dwarf // by Sound Shard //------------------------------// - Unnamed Brimstone Caverns - "wHaT tHe HeLl, IvOrY! yOu ToO, dIsCorD! rEvEaLiNg YoUr TrUe IdEnTiTiEs In FrOnT oF aLl ThOsE pEoPle?" "Erm, pinies." "PoNiEs, PeOpLe, tHe HeLl DiFfErEnCe ThAt MaKeS!" " .W .e .l .l,,,,, .o .n .t .h .e .b .r .i .g .h .t .s .i .d .e,,,,, .w .e .h .a .v .e .p .r .i .s .o .n .e .r .s!!!!!" "Mmmfmmmhmmrmm!" "Why are they gagged and biund again?" "sO tHeY dOn'T eScApE oR tAlK." "Well, they can still make anniying niises." "Mmmrhhghmm!" "sHuT uP!" REDDWARF "More ponies?" groaned Rimmer. "Why more ponies?" "Ivory! Oh thank Celestia, you're okay, Ivory!" cried Rarity and threw herself onto Ivory Wisp, weeping. "Um... Nice ti see yiu, tii..." said Ivory. "Oh, it was horrible!" Rarity went on. "Positively horrible! There was another you, but she was all messed up, and..." "Did... Did she have a hile in the back of her head?" asked Ivory. Rarity nodded. "And metal plates?" More nodding. "And was accimpinied by sime black slime?" Another nod. "Ih, dear. It attacked me, tii." "It was insane," added Sweetie Belle. Rarity got up. "It was singing like it and everything. And it has mom and dad!" "It does, dear, calm down..." comforted Rarity, shaking. She hugged Sweetie Belle. Sweetie pushed her away. "I'm perfectly calm. You're going bonkers yourself!" "I thiught yiu hated yiur parents?" Ivory pointed out. Sweetie Belle sparked her horn in Rarity's face to grab her attention. Rarity shook her head to clear it, and sighed. "I didn't mean any of that, Ivory, I was just annoyed by the experience. My parents can be pretty insolent sometimes, but that's not thier fault! I love them, just like any good daughter!" sighed Rarity. "And now they're gone. And it's all my fault!" "Aww, it's not your fault, Rares!" assured Pinkie Pie. "You know, though, we do have an issue to be facing here. Twilight and Lister are stuck." "How so?" asked Sweetie. "Well... Come with me!" Starbug "This is called a Total Immersion Gaming System. Basically, you stick yerself right on in, and it makes you feel like you're somewhere. Aaand, it's stuck. As in, somethin' reeeal bad got in, and Twi and Listy are stuck in there. They were able to pry me out, thank Celestia, what would we do without me?, but those two need out. We need four unicorns, and since Cadey here is an alicorn-pegacorn thingy, she counts as two. So, you, Shiny, and Cadenzarenzabenza will be a-pryin' it open!" rambled Pinkie. "Cadenza-renza-benza? Really?" said Rainbow. "Just..." "She's gonna be Pinkie Pie, and she's gonna be Pinkie Pie," mumbled Spike. "Whatever, can we get this thing open? All this tension is inturrupting my beauty sleep time!" complained Cat. (_U-n-n-a-m-e-d_B-r-i-m-s-t-o-n-e_C-a-v-e-r-n-s_) "tHeY aLmOsT hAvE tHe MaGiCiAn OuT! tHaT cAnNoT hApPeN! iNiTiAtE sTaGe TwO oF OpErAtIoN RoAsTeD mArShMaLlOw!" "Doe...s it env...olve fly...FLYING monkey-ey-ey-ey-eyeyeyeyeyeyeyey-..-... flying monkeys?" "What the hell is that thing?" "Mmmmfff?" "Quiet, yiu!" "WeLl, BaSicAlLy, ThIs Is A cOmPuTeR vIrUs." "But it's in yiur hands." "PrEsIcElY!" " .H .m .m..............." "Why do-... does he skip on his punc-punctuation?" "What dies he mean?" "tOuCh HiM." "What?!" "tOuCh HiM!" "I din't kniw. "jUsT tOuCh HiM!" "Fine, I... WHUUU... I can see everything! Everything I say is real! In my face! I REALLY DI JUST TALK WITH I'S! That is si strange. I can see my attributes! I din't di the ih-i thing when I sing?" "wHeN yOu WeRe ReBuIlT, tHaT wEnT dOwN. tO bE hOnEsT... wAtCh ThIs!" "Um, what are yiu... AAAAUGH!" "SaY sOmEtHiNg!" "Um... Something... Wait a second... I can say the letter o! You're a fu-" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" "-ing genius!" "SoRrY, hE gOeS iNtO sCrEaMiNg FiTs." "It's all good, he can scream all the screams he wants! I can talk! Isn't it great, Rarity's parents?" "Mmmfh, fmmf hmml gmmhr fhr ymm, bmmh hmmt hmms gmm..." "I don't even care what you're saying anymore! I'm free!" Starbug "Free indeed..." grumbled Rarity. "I know I've been training a lot lately, but I don't exactly think..." "Negativity is the last thing to use! A positive attitude obtains positive results!" encouraged Pinkie. "Woo-hoo..." tried Fluttershy. "Alright... Alright..." grumbled Rarity. "What do I do?" |Canterlot| Two unicorns ran in thru the throne room doors. One was a dark gray with tinted goggles and a timid gait, sporting a black mane and mechanically-themed saddlebags. The other was green with a gray mane, with a prideful swagger, visible even in the sprint he'd broken into. These were Jet Gray and Malachite. "Miss Celestia! Miss Celestia!" cried Jet Gray. "Terrible news, Princess!" followed Malachite. "It's... It's... Project Brimstone," stuttered Jet. Celestia's face filled with shock. "But how? He's... He's dead!" she marveled. She was half envious. If only it had been that easy for her. She hid a smirk, and began to shake her head in faux disgust. "Well, he... it, is nearing Red Dwarf. Six of your royal subjects, your niece, and your nephew-in-law are on that expedition. We fear they may have already unleashed an EHSP on the ship, if not have one in possession," Malachite continued, wide-eyed. "They were never supposed to enter this dimension! Or any, for that matter. We've contained the Sunflower dimension, the Six dimension, the Conundrum dimension, the Dashie dimension, the Factory dimension, the Doctor dimension... What am I forgetting?" rambled Jet. "The Engineer dimension, the Corrupted dimension, the Restart dimension, and the Crossover dimensions," finished Malachite. "Yeah, those few... Why not the Brimstone dimension? And those banished there? And what about this new Dwarf dimension?" "Jet, Malachite, it's time I told you two something." "What is that, your highness?" "Goodbye." A hole opened in the floor, sucking the two to oblivion. The last thing either heard was a laughter, neither the Princesses or any they'd heard before, a more gurgling should than a laugh, and an almost conceding voice deeming them as "Fools". Earth: New York City A man in red and black spandex stood in the middle of a crowded sidewalk, everyone going around him as they passed. He was standing alone, yet talking to himself. He wore a tourist hat and an unbuttoned Hawai'ian t-shirt. His name is Wade. "Aaah... I'm so glad I decided to vacation in New York, New York!" You said it, buddy! "That I did. Why are we here again?" The S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier suffered some major malfunctions, resulting in a crash. Few survivors. In English? Nick Fury ship go boom-boom, people die. "Like that?" Two figures fell from the sky, one gray, one green, and landed with a loud snap. Wade nodded. Eeyup, like that. Wade walked over to examine the bodies. They landed in an alley. He couldn't tell what they were, at first, but upon closer examination, he could tell they were not of this world. "Well, first off, author, I know exactly what they are..." Shut up, it adds to the suspense. Yeah, I'm unfamiliar with the concept of what something really is, so suspenseful. No big deal. Tell that to Westborough Baptist Church. And: really? Not of this world? Have we entered the far reaches of the world, stumbling upon, dramatic pause, the Twilight Zone, yet? Shut up.