I wasn’t always this cruel. My heart used to be just like yours, not this block of ice. I used to know more than anger and hunger. I used to not know of hatred. I used to know of kindness and joy and friendship. I used to know love.
My story starts over 1000 years ago. It was a glorious spring day, not long after Winter Wrap Up. But the Crystal Empire was in mourning, for my father, our King, had died recently. It was a sudden death, completely unexpected. He had gone into the woods for a walk, alone, and not returned when he was to. I had been the head of the search party that had found his cold body in a mysterious pool of shadow. He had been lying in a clearing and the sun was directly overhead, yet none touched him. This was my first encounter with dark magic.
A few days later, we still mourned. But the day held other emotions, better ones. Joy and hope were also in the air for it was the day of my crowning. The day I was to become King. I was the only one left in my bloodline; my mother had vanished when I was young, her body never found and I was an only foal. I was devastated by my father’s death, but I had to be strong for my subjects. They would be my new family. I was determined to be remembered forever as one of the most loyal and loving King. Sombra the Great, they would call me. Alas, it was not to be so.
Every time a new ruler was crowned, the Princesses would come to the ascension. It was that day, the day I became King, that I first saw her.
I know how this sounds. Love at first sight, instant romance, bla bla bla. Overdone, right? Right. I completely agree. But this was the case, however cliché it may be. She came with her sister, the two of them walked towards me calmly. Her mane flowed elegantly in the soft breeze. Her eyes, oh her eyes, they held the beauty of the stars. She may not have been crystal, but she was my heart nonetheless. Celestia read a speech, but I was lost in her sister’s eyes. Once I was officially King, I asked her if she would stay a while longer. She accepted and told her sister she would be back. Celestia waked farewell and left, leaving me alone with Luna. She stayed for a week. At first we just talked. It was nice, but I knew we could be more than friends. On the day she had to leave, I begged her to return to me. In reply, she brushed her lips against mine and whispered a single word.
“Always,” she said.
Then she flew off before I could say or do anything. But I knew she would hold true to her promise. It was almost a year before we saw each other again, though we kept in touch. We sent each other many a letter, but we still missed each other dearly. Over the letters, I told her how much I had always loved the night, how I felt safest in the darkness. The lack of shadows made me feel safe. Lack of shadows? you ask. Yes, I mean lack. Most see night as one large shadow, but for me, when there is not light, there are no shadows. I disliked shadows. No, I loathed them. It reminded me of my father, of how the light could not touch him. I told her of how dear to me her night was, even more so now I knew it was hers. So perhaps it was my fault when she tried to make the night last twenty-four hours. That’s right, just twenty-four. Not forever as the legend goes. It was the anniversary of the old King’s death and the shadows of day terrified me and brought back the memory of my father’s body with a painful vividness. All Luna wanted to do was help me though a hard time. But Celestia did not see it that way.
Instead, she saw it as a betrayal of trust. She could see no farther than her own nose, that Celestia. Self-centred, unwilling to share her power. There had been whispers of her wanting to take over the whole kingdom long before I met her sister. Luna only became Nightmare Moon when her sister banished her. Even when she returned she did not want nighttime eternal, she was just bad with words. Oh, my beloved Luna, was it all my fault? Am I the reason you were sent away? I never wanted you to get hurt.
The fight between the sisters took the same amount of time to reach me as it did to finish. I arrived at the Canterlot Palace just as the elder sister cast the spell. As the colour trapped her I called her name. Luna turned to me and had just enough time to say one word before she vanished.
“Always,” she said. Then she vanished. Poof. Just like that. Already I missed her, as Celestia turned on me. She told me how she ruled now and how if I told anypony what happened, she would have me “removed from power.” That’s what she said, but her eyes spoke a much darker threat. I agreed to say nothing and fled. But not before vowing I would stop at nothing to bring my beloved back.
Back home, I turned to the only magic I knew that might be strong enough to defeat Celestia.
Dark Magic.
I never wanted to use it. The day I saw my father’s dead body I had vowed to never turn to the shadows, but this new vow was more important to me. My father was gone, but Luna could still be saved. Before I started my revenge, I went to my father’s grave and asked for forgiveness for what I was about to do. All I got was a moon, no longer under Luna’s control, shining above me. Looking at the silver disk, I could see my Luna. I bowed my head and gave one last goodbye to my father before losing myself in the darkness.
I never meant to get so lost, so trapped by the power. I never meant to enslave my subjects, only ask them to help me overthrow who was quickly becoming a tyrant. But the darkness filled me inside. It turned my heart as black as the night Luna had once commanded. The Princess of the Day came to save my subjects from me. We battled, Celestia and I, as well as another Alicorn I had never heard tell of before. As we fought, Celestia mentioned Luna. I don’t recall how she came up in the taunts we threw, but she did. I screamed in rage as Celestia laughed with such scorn at her sister. The white mare laughed back as she saw my love for her sister. She told me that Luna would come back, in 1000 years, but I would be long gone by then. Her words sunk in as she and the other Alicorn shot their last blast at me, but it was too late. I knew what I had to do. Some small part of me still held onto the love I held for the Princess of the Night. I remembered why I had turned to the darkness. In what Celestia planned to be my last moments, I came up with a plan of my own. With the last of my strength, I cast a spell. I vanished, taking my kingdom with me. But I was too slow; Celestia and her ally had turned me to shadow. I felt my solid form disappear and my new ‘body’ fly off to a cold land, then there was nothing.
1000 years felt like a nanosecond. I knew not if time had passed or not, only that I had survived the attack. I did not know that Luna was back, nor did I know Celestia had changed her ways. I thought Luna was still gone and Celestia still a tyrant. But I was shadow. With no form, there was little I could do. I returned to the black magic. Perhaps ‘returned’ is not the right word. I never left the night. Either way, I was defeated once more. I felt my shadowy self start to dissipate. I felt my body die. But I felt my spirit restored as my body was destroyed. I closed my eyes and opened them to find myself in Canterlot. I could feel my spirit starting to go wherever they go when I saw her once more. She saw me. I’m not sure how, for I was less than a ghost. But she saw me. I tried to speak, to beg her forgiveness, to apologize for not saving her, for enslaving my kingdom. I tried to ask her if she still loved me, even after all I did, all I had cost her. But my words caught inside me, refusing to reach my throat. My eyes asked what my lips could not. No words passed my lips, yet Luna understood my last question. Her smile was a sad one as she said one simple word that held so much.
“Always,” she said.