Well, I'm still stuck here doing these bloody diaries. I might as well start with the events that transpired yesterday. I've yet to become accommodated to these new surroundings, so perhaps a bit of recording shall do me good.
-------------------------------Cue Flashback-------------------------------
Artemis sighed contently as he picked through Volume III of "A Treatise on Planar Manipulation" by Starswirl the Bearded.
"This is the life," he thought to himself. "No noise, no distractions, and certainly no ponies between me and this lovely knowledge. What a perfect day." Snapped out of his reverie by a series of rapid knocks on the door to his office, he scowled.
"Almost perfect."
Trotting towards the door, he quickly composed himself in his usual manner, making sure his face was strictly void of expression before answering who he guessed would be none other than his permanent assistant and secretary, Dusty Scroll. As Artemis opened it, he was quickly brushed aside as a blurr of brown fur rudely forced itself into his office and made a whirlwind of his piles of very official looking documents.
"Artemis, thank Luna's stars I found you! Celestia requires your immediate appearance in the throne room at once!" Dusty Scroll, an excitable earth pony and Artemis' only help in running the entire Archives, stared at his surroundings. "Wow, you've really got to let the air out of this place! I can hardly breathe through all this dust."
Artemis let out an involuntary twitch. "Yes, one would think that after kicking up every single particle of dust in this enclosed space, one wouldn't," he replied sarcastically. "Any clues as to why I'm being summoned? As I recall, I've already given my quarter-annual report of the Archive's status just last Tuesday."
Dusty Scroll shook his head rapidly. "Not a one! The Princess simply said that it was urgent! You should really hurry, by the way. I spent the last thirty minutes just looking for where you are!"
"Cripes," Artemis muttered darkly to himself. Sometimes he couldn't understand what he'd done to deserve this. He rolled the idea of simply firing his secretary around in his head until he realised that he wasn't getting any closer to the throne room. "Well, I'd better go see what the Princess desires of me." Sighing, he headed out the door before turning his head back with an afterthought. "I'd better come back and find this office tidy again or by Celestia's grace there will be Tartarus to pay for a certain assistant of mine." Shooting daggers at Dusty, Artemis galloped towards the throne room to see what her Solar Majesty could possibly want with the Chief Scholar.
----
"Begging your pardon, your highness?" Artemis rubbed his ears with his hooves, as if attempting to remove some imaginary wax that was obstructing his hearing. "You've instructed me to..."
"To go to Ponyville and take a vacation. You've been working for a year non-stop!" Her Majesty graced him with a bemused smile, one certainly fitting of her illustrious position. While it was true that he couldn't remember the last time he had stopped during the day for even a ten minute break, he certainly wasn't going to let her send him away without a fight.
"But, your Majesty, I protest! I'm in the middle of reorganizing the entire "Starswirl the Bearded" wing to make it easier for ponies to find time scrolls and other such spells!" Artemis' voice became a little high strung near the end of this, as if the very thought of abandoning his Archives was pure sacrilege.
"And I'm sure Dusty can take over wherever you've left off for a week. Have you looked at yourself recently? You're as gaunt as a ghost!" Chuckling, she conjured a mirror with her magic to show him exactly what she was talking about.
"Ehm... Surely I don't look THAT bad? I assure you, Princess, that I am still fully capable of performing my duties as Chief Scholar. You needn't worry yourself on my behalf." Artemis was tempted to stare at the floor, but instead decided that holding an unwavering stare with the princess would better suffice to prove his point. He fervently, fervently hoped that his plee would go through to the Princess and he wouldn't really need to be sent to Ponyville after all.
Exchanging glances with one of her royal advisers, Celestia let out a cough. "Scribe, would you please send for Dr. Velvet? I have a small request of her." Turning back to Artemis, she gave him a stern look that right about had him sweating on the spot. "Artemis. I'm going to issue a medical order from the doctor that is going to force you to take a vacation, and that is final. I care for all my little ponies, and you clearly need a break. I'm not going to have you collapse on yourself from working in the records room for too long." She smiled. "After all, you are one of the best Librarians I've ever seen."
Artemis' jaw dropped. "A-a medical order!?" He stammered violently, despite his usual composed manner. Medical orders were serious business in those days. Even the Princesses were bound to it, in the case that they ever decided to overwork themselves by pony standards. His mind fired off on new tangents on it's own, trying to wrap itself upon the inevitability that he would have to take a vacation.
At that moment, Dr. Twilight Velvet entered the room. "You called for me, your highness?" Her voice was smooth and sweet, reminding Artemis of the wild honey with which he drank his coffee with. Spotting the purple coated stallion from across the throne room, she smiled. "Hello, Artemis."
"Ah, erhm. Hello." Artemis was mildly shocked. He hadn't talked to Dr. Velvet except on annual check-ups and social outings amongst the palace staff, so he found it surprising that she remembered his name.
"Ah, so you two are already acquainted. That's excellent. Dr. Velvet, I want you to write up a medical restraining order forcing Artemis to take a vacation for a period of one week. I'm afraid he is working too hard at his job, although he hardly seems to think so." Her face already assuming the bemused smile of royalty, Celestia turned back to Artemis and gestured for him to go to Dr. Velvet.
Getting up to go, he paused. "Surely, it could only be for a day? Must it be a week?" Artemis was downright miserable at this point. There was no way to avert his terrible fate, but at least he could attempt to make it bearable. A week was simply too long to be away from his precious Archives, after all.
"A week, Artemis. I shall instruct you later on your arrangements of lodgings in Ponyville, so please prepare for departure by tomorrow morning."
Sighing inwardly, he merely bowed. "Yes, your highness." He trodded slowly over to where Dr. Velvet was attempting to cover her snickers. "What do you find so funny?" His voice emanated depression.
"Oh, nothing. You just remind me so much of my daughter. She's about the same age as you are, and just as dedicated to knowledge too." Reaching into her saddlebags, she pulled out a medical restraining form and filled out the necessary details. "Name: Artemis. Occupation: Chief Scholar of the Canterlot Royal Archives. Etc, etc..." Looking up from her work, she magically handed him a pen that he gripped with his own blue aura. "Just sign here."
With a single flourish, the name "Artemis" adorned the paper in neat Canterlottian calligraphy. Placing the order in her own files, Twilight Velvet turned back to him and smiled. "Chin up. It's not every day that Princess Celestia herself issues a vacation to one of her ponies."
"I rather wished she weren't so generous to me." In his oncoming gloom, Artemis lost all the bite in his tongue that was famous for chasing away his colleagues. "Ponyville. Of all the places. Well, at least it shall be quiet in a rural town like that. Perfect place to finish that "Treatise on Planar Manipulation"..." He continued muttering to himself as he walked down the hallway in a daze, failing to notice that he had left Twilight Velvet on her own. She shook her head with a smile and trotted back to the infirmary where she had been caring for a chef who'd caught the flu.
Arriving back at his office was a scene to behold. Artemis stared. Then stared some more. He'd even rubbed his eyes with his hooves for good measure.
The office had been completely tidied, yes, but now there was another troubling issue that had arisen. "Dusty?"
Dusty Scroll poked his head out of the storage room. "Yes, Artie?"
"Don't call me that. Anyhow, where is my supply of coffee? I keep my supply of Saddle Arabian beans right atop my desk." Those beans cost me a fortune, Artemis thought to himself. This bumbling fool better not have...
"Those were coffee beans? I thought that was all dust. Nasty smelling stuff, it was." Dusty scrunched his nose at the thought. Used to drinking a much lighter mix, the potent beans had nearly no resemblance to the coffee he was fond of.
"I threw it all out. They should be half way to the royal incinerator by this time, if not already roasted." He smirked at his own witticism. Roasted, get it?
Artemis tried to keep himself under control. It was quite admirable, really. However, he just couldn't contain himself anymore. "Blast it, Dusty! First I've been forced by her Majesty to take an ill-needed vacation, and now I'm expected to do it without coffee!?" He roared, causing his neatly organized papers to fall into array again. Coffee was his lifeblood. It kept him sane. It could be appropriately said that if Artemis did not live for his books, he lived for his coffee.
"Darn it, I just cleaned those!" A look of dismay spread to Dusty's face only to be quickly stifled by Artemis' rage.
"Confound the papers! Dusty, what am I supposed to bloody do now? Those were expensive beans! Worse, I have to wait an entire month now before the next shipment arrives." Fuming, Artemis stalked towards Dusty and started shoving him out the room. "Out! I have no patience to deal with you now!"
"Ow! Hey, watch it with that horn!" The sensation of Artemis' horn digging into his backside was not a very pleasant one, Dusty Scroll mused. That was about as far as he got before he felt himself being flipped upside down and flung out of the room. With an audible oomph, he landed on his stomach in the hallway.
"Go into the archives and finish organizing that blasted "Starswirl the Bearded" wing, and for Celestia's sake leave me alone for the rest of the day!" Grabbing the door handle by magic, Artemis soundly slammed the door, the sound resounding up and down the royal corridors until it entered the ears of one very surprised solar guard, who became so startled by the noise that he involuntarily jumped up and had a rare display of emotions that guards were so famously known to hide. Quickly glancing around to make sure that no one had noticed, he straightened up alert as ever. If the guys back at the barracks had seen him, he'd never hear the end of it.
Artemis sunk slowly into his chair and sighed. He was not looking forward to the prospect of vacationing, although visiting Ponyville did hold a certain charm for him. "At the very least, I'll have some peace and quiet. Perhaps their library even has one or two books that I still have yet to read, although I'm not about to waltz off without this 'Treatise on Planar Manipulation'." Now that the inital gloom was over, Artemis reviewed his position philosophically. "At least I won't have to put up with Dusty for an entire week." Allowing himself a grim smile, he acknowledged that perhaps this wouldn't be so bad after all.
Still, there was one thought that nagged at his mind. "How in all of Equestria will I survive without coffee for an entire week?" Moaning in despair and burying his head in his hooves, he felt caffeine deprived even while he had just drunk a fresh cup earlier that morning. "I suppose... I'll have to settle for whatever grind they have in Ponyville." he shuddered. Ponyville being the rural town it was, there was no possibility of them having any type of coffee excepting the common "light" grind that was available to everypony and what Dusty Scrolls found particularly addicting.
He stayed that way for quite a while until Luna's moon had long replaced Celestia's sun, contemplating his plans for the week while lamenting the loss of his precious beans. Realizing that if he didn't get packed now, he would be forcefully ejected from the palace with nothing but the clothes on his back, he forced himself up and closed up his office after safely depositing "A Treatise on Planar Manipulation" into his saddlebags. Artemis walked towards his quarters, his hooves making a soft clip-clop against the smooth marble floors as he walked by a multitude of stained glass windows that encompassed the history of Equestria thus far. Moonlight filtered through the glass, causing an array of colors to light his path. Artemis loved this walk back to his rooms. The way the light softly splayed out in front of him was a sight to behold, the stained glass breathtaking in the light of Luna's moon. The inner historian in him was always giddy in recognizing the events portrayed in each window. He continued walking onward as he passed by Pre-Equestria during the times of the three pony tribes. He had even seen a window illustrating the great Cirran Migration, a herd of Pegasi who had appeared from a land over the ocean to rebuild their nation here. From the Greek/Roman age forward, he quickly lost interest. The period of time where Celestia had been a tyrant and raised the sun only after receiving sufficient tribute each day brought new light to the name "The Dark Ages". It didn't do a pony well to linger too long on the events that transpired during this era, but needless to say it was one filled with darkness and fear.
By the time he had reached his room, Artemis had trotted through about 4,000 years worth of history. He paused in front of the window that stood across the hall from his door. This one was a rare filler window, made of the clearest glass in order to break the monotony of viewing stained glass after stained glass. The moon was particularly brilliant this evening, and Artemis could have almost sworn that he saw the Princess of the Night herself patrolling the night skies above Canterlot, making sure the city remained safe. He smiled. While he had a largely negative opinion of the ponies around him, he felt connected to Princess Luna after conversing with her during those many months where she re-acclimated herself to society. He wasn't quite sure what made him feel so familiar with her, but he didn't give it much thought. After all, she no longer visited the library, now swamped in royal duties. Feeling that he'd stalled long enough, he turned to enter his room.
Unlike others who lived in the palace, Artemis lived without extravagance. In fact, you'd be hard pressed to find anything in his room that wasn't strictly functional. While he did have a fine appreciation of furniture, and in fact own several chairs hoof-made by the legend Heatherwald Trotsky himself, his room was relatively unadorned.
As soon as one entered the room, they would immediately be assaulted by the smell of dark coffee and old books. Stacked up high against all the walls were bookshelves that often reached as high as the ceiling (which was in fact several ponies tall). Books of every subject covered these walls, from history to astronomy and military tactics to Modern Equestrian. To say that Artemis was a well-read pony would almost be an insult. The room was meticulously clean, having the furniture arranged in such a way that he could easily navigate the room even while holding tremendous piles of books. The centerpiece that dominated the room, however, was a large wooden cylinder with a rounded cover. On top of the cover, one could see the etchings of a cup of coffee. Normally, this is where Artemis would store his precious supply, but he had just run out yesterday and Dusty had thrown out the new shipment before he had the chance to claim it. Scowling at that memory, Artemis turned to his wardrobe and found a carpetbag that suited his purposes. Without many personal effects to bring, he quickly packed a toothbrush, toothpaste, Vol. III of "A Treatise on Planar Manipulation", a roll of parchment, three quills, a rapier (he practiced fencing in order to keep his body from falling to waste), and a week's worth of vests. Viewing over his preparations and finding himself sufficiently packed, Artemis plopped himself down into the depths of his bed for a long, fitful sleep where nightmares of coffee haunted him.
----
Artemis arose with the dawn. Used to sleeping small amounts at a time, he felt only slightly groggy and instinctively reached out with his magic to make a cup of coffee before he remembered he had no beans. "Blasted assistant and his blasted taste in weak coffee beans..." Well, he thought to himself. What a wonderful day this will turn out to be. Not even out of bed and I'm already cross without my coffee. Then again, I'm usually cross with or without it anyways.
Slowly pulling himself out of the covers, Artemis reached down towards the floor until his hoof felt ground, and swung out of the bed. He'd learned early on that with his horrible hoof-eye coordination in the morning, if he didn't already have a hoof on the ground he would more likely tumble onto his side than end up in a standing position. Stretching out the cracks from his body, he picked up his carpetbag he'd left by the door and headed down towards the throne room when he ran into none other than Dusty Scroll. Instantly, Artemis' face took on a darker, stormier temperament.
"Mornin', Artemis!" Dusty Scroll had a convenient habit of completely forgetting any unpleasant events that transpired the previous day. "Don't you worry, the Archives will be in steady hooves while you're gone! Just go out there and enjoy yourself." Dusty gave Artemis a huge grin.
"Yes. Ecstatic." Artemis replied flatly. "I'm sure you're up to the extremely easy task of managing the Archives. I'm not sure how in Equestria I would manage without you." Rolling his eyes skyward, Artemis eventually settled his gaze onto the miscreant in front of him. "Just PLEASE try to not destroy anything while I'm absent. Celestia knows what'll happen when you're without my guidance."
In a classic, Artemis-esque response, Dusty raised his eyebrows. "Who do you think I am, a foal?" While he had tried to sound as offended as possible, his natural jovialty couldn't prevent another grin from breaking out across his face. "Stop being so serious! You know I've been a good assistant for the past year or so, despite the fact that I could have left this place to be a model. I mean, look at my stunningly good looks!" He swished his mane in a way that caught the rays of Celestia's sun passing through a nearby window.
"Oh yes. I'm sure every mare who ever lays eyes on you will stop dead in their tracks."
"Why, thank yo- wait a minute."
Shaking his head, Artemis started walking towards the throne room with his bag in tow before he heard Dusty's parting words. "You're no smooth cassanova yourself, you know!"
What an interesting choice of a rebuttal. It's not as if I go out chasing the mares at every street corner, Artemis thought disdainfully to himself after remembering the past antics of his secretary in trying to secure a special somepony for himself.
"Some ponies have no sense of decorum," he muttered under his breath. Still, it's not as if he was bad looking. Was he?
Artemis was so engrossed in this surprising new line of thought that he collided with the wall next to the throne room doors.
Shaking the stars out of his eyes, he could have sworn he saw a fleeting grin across the faces of the Royal Guards who stood watch by the doors.
He squinted his eyes, allowing the full force of his interrogative gaze sweep over the two offending individuals(which, actually, was a lot of force. He was often called upon to interrogate enemies of the state if only to stare their secrets out of them). Finding no further indication that they had displayed emotion at all, Artemis walked towards the doors with as much dignity that he could muster. "I'm here to speak with the Princess in regards to my... vacation." He shook his head. The word still left a bad taste in his mouth, one that could have undoubtedly been washed away with a good brew of coffee had he managed to make one.
"Of course sir. Please, step inside. Her majesty has just finished raising the sun for the day." Nodding perfunctorily, the guards opened the door with their magic, allowing Artemis to step inside.
In the haste of yesterday to meet the Princess' summons, Artemis had failed to appreciate his first visit to the throne room. Now, as he crossed the threshold into the Throne Room for a second time, he drank in the beauty that surrounded him.
The room was tall and sweeping, ornately carved pillars of marble supporting baroque arches that held up the ceiling. Banners displaying the mark of the Sun hung from the walls, alternating with large stained glass windows that let in the glorious dawn. A large crystal chandelier dominated the center of the ceiling, tiered with hundreds upon hundreds of candles. It created a prismatic effect as it was hit by the sun's rays, bedazzling Artemis' eyes after staring at it for too long. He allowed his eyes to wander over the golden oak desks of Celestia's advisers that lined the sides of the room, briefly appreciating the mastery with which they were built, before settling them on his sovereign who was busy listening to a long report from a pony who had a bits cutie mark, presumably a representative of the Treasury. Walking along the crimson carpet laying beneath his hooves, he eventually reached the throne and patiently waited for the other pony to finish his report.
"-and the Mayor of Cloudsdale borrowed around 4.5 million bits from the Treasury yesterday in order to cover the deficits created in his road improvement project." Rolling up his report with a flourish, the pony added, "Overall, the Treasury is about 1 billion bits strong and in no danger of becoming broke in the foreseeable future." He nodded to himself after mentally checking some calculations. "No danger at all. This should conclude my report."
"Very good, my little pony. You may return to your duties." Celestia smiled at the pony before sending him off, just noticing Artemis standing by the base of the dais. "Artemis! I'd almost forgotten that I'd sent you on vacation!" She chuckled lightheartedly. "I'm so used to you being holed up in that dusty old library that it had slipped my mind you were leaving today." Opening a rift in space with her magic, Celestia quickly retrieved a letter and gave it to Artemis. "Now, be sure not to lose this letter. It contains directions on where you'll be staying as well as a letter of recommendation to who you'll be staying with, although I did take care to send advance warning so she should be expecting you."
Artemis wheeled backward as if physically struck by the Princess. "I, I beg your pardon? I'm staying with somepony?"
"Why, yes. Ponyville is a small town that sees little traffic, so they've hardly had need for an inn. I've arranged for you to stay with somepony while you vacation for a week." Celestia arched her eyebrows. No matter how misanthropic (misponythropic?) her valued librarian had appeared to be, she hadn't expected him to be so shocked with the prospect of being in somepony's company.
"I, err. I was just hoping to be alone..."
"I'd thought of that, and came to the decision that if I'd authorized a cottage for your use you'd spend the entire week cooped indoors nosing through textbooks, which can hardly be described as relaxing." She raised her hoof to stop any protests from leaving Artemis' mouth. "I know you consider it to be relaxing, but you really need to step outside for once! I think I would be rather correct to assume that your current appearance was caused by studying in the first place...?"
She let the pause extend for a couple seconds before moving on. "Anyways, it won't be so bad. You'll be staying at a library, in the very least."
A look of relief spread across Artemis' face. "Ah, a library. Most excellent accommodation indeed. Thank you for your generosity, Princess Celestia. Eh, just one question, however: who, exactly, am I staying with? And did you mention that pony as a 'she' earlier?"
"Why yes. I've arranged for you to stay with Twilight Sparkle, my most faithful student and talented protege. I'm sure you two will get along swimmingly together." Smiling warmly at the memory of her student, Celestia seemed to gaze off into the distance for a second or two before snapping back into reality to notice that Artemis was still standing where he was, rooted to the position. He has this sort of numb look on his face, something quite astonishing to behold as she had never seen her librarian as anything other than perfectly alert and sharp as a sword.
"Is there a problem, my faithful librarian?"
"Ah, erm...No problem at all, your majesty. I'll...just be on my way then." Turning stiffly so as to not betray his emotions, Artemis briskly walked out of the throne room. Celestia watched him as he left. "That pony really hasn't talked with a lot of other ponies in a while, has he?" She pondered this question briefly before a representative from Manehattan requested her to approve a proposal for a new set of railroad lines from Manehattan to Trottingham. Apparently the tourist trade between the two cities was booming, and more transit would be required to increase revenue.
----
It was around noontime when Artemis touched down in Ponyville via palace chariot. Curtly thanking the Royal Guards who had pulled him here, he sent them on his way while disinterestedly observing his surroundings. He'd done his research, of course, and was quite shocked to realize that not only was Twilight Sparkle the bearer of the Element of Harmony, but her fellow bearers also resided in Ponyville. More shocking still, they had already saved the empire twice - once from Nightmare Moon and another from Discord. Filing away all that important information for later, he brought up the first of his data files on known residents of Ponyville. At the top of the list was, of course, Pinkie Pie.
He'd read up extensively on her during the ride from Canterlot, being told that she was the most volatile of the group and thus the one who posed the most danger to him during his "vacation." Apparently endowed with the ability to bend physics to her will and repeatedly break something called "The Fourth Wall", she was also a walking party and somehow managed to carry a party cannon with her everywhere she went. Not only that, she also had something called "Pinkie Sense" that allowed her to know random future events shortly before they occurred.
The more he read about her, the more incredulous Artemis became. "There can't be any bloody way that this pony exists. These notes were made by quacks," he grumbled to himself. Shoving the notes back into his saddlebags, he sought out the nearest cafe for a quick bite to eat before introducing himself to Twilight Sparkle. Finding one that suited his tastes, he found himself soon relaxing on a hay bale while sipping cool iced tea. "Well, maybe this place won't be so bad after all," he thought to himself. "After all, they've most the comforts a city should have, and I'm staying in a library." He mulled over these thoughts as he drank, relishing the cool sensation of tea flowing down his throat while the hot sun glowed brightly overhead.
"Yes, this should turn out to be quite satisfactory indeed." Talking to nopony in particular, he raised his glass and toasted himself for a relatively peaceful week ahead (albeit the lack of coffee, he realized afterwards). He never even noticed the pair of light blue eyes staring at him from inside a nearby hay bale.
"Omigosh Omigosh Omigosh there's a new pony in town! Quick, I have to tell Twilight and Aj and Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy and Rarity and everypony else in Ponyville so we can throw a 'Welcome to Ponyville' party! Oh, I hope it can wait until after the 'Two weeks since our last party' Party!" Giggling to itself, the hay bale started bouncing away , drawing the curious glances of other ponies wandering the market street until it disappeared in an alley.
----
Feeling relatively refreshed, Artemis strolled around Ponyville in no particular hurry. He had the rest of the afternoon, after all, and he intended to use it at length by observing everything in town that could be observed. He soon found, however, that what he found observable turned out to be an incredibly short list that included bunnies grazing on grass and a mail mare with wall-eyes clumsily delivering a package to a candy shop where a mint-green unicorn was skillfully playing a lyre. Other than that, the town was pretty much what he'd expected: charmingly quaint, peaceful, and the lack of a sense of urgency in the place. Ponies moved where they wanted to at the pace they wanted to without worrying too much about the time, something Artemis could appreciate. After all, it was near impossible to read a book while moving if you planned on galloping at full speed everywhere.
The sun was starting to dip low into the sky, and Artemis decided that he'd seen enough hay thatched roofs to last him a lifetime. Removing the map of Ponyville that had come with the letter, he quickly plotted out the shortest route to the Golden Oaks Library where he would be staying with Ms. Sparkle for the duration of his visit. While the letter did not specifically say how much Ms. Sparkle was to accommodate him, Artemis had already made up his mind to politely refuse all but offers of food and reading material.
"It's going to take more than this to prevent me from studying, your Majesty. After all, what can you expect if you board me at a library? I appreciate you for trying, but this idea was simply ridiculous from the start," he said to himself, allowing a slight chuckle all the while. Yes, he would "vacation" for a week - no doubt he'd spend this vacation reading more books than he could ever fit back in his busy Canterlot schedule. This brief respite was becoming increasingly favorable in Artemis' eyes, as he was now free to pursue his interests without having to worry about his duties or the Princesses snooping into his business. However, as our rebellious scholar will soon find out, he'll have a harder time trying to stick with his books than he thinks. Turning round the final corner, Artemis viewed the entirety of the Golden Oaks Library.
"Quite interesting, I should think. It appears that they've carved out the entire inside of the tree in order to make space for the books and their librarian." Encircling the perimeter a few times, Artemis decided that the tree posed no threat of collapsing inwards and knocked firmly on the door with his hoof. Was that...whispering he heard? Why had it suddenly quieted when he approached?
The door opened slowly, and a small purple dragon poked his head out the door. "Who are you supposed to be?" He seemed slightly defensive, as many ponies (and creatures) do after seeing Artemis for the first time. After all, Artemis could appear quite imposing when he wanted to be.
Artemis recoiled backwards in shock. "Yo-you're Twilight Sparkle!? But you're a dragon!" His mind overrode his common senses and starting going off on a new line of thinking that involved the Elements of Harmony being able to be harnessed by non-ponies as well as ponies before he heard a snicker.
"You must be new around here, huh? I'm Spike, Twilight's number one assistant!" Poking a thumb at himself, he smiled widely. "Yep, that's me! What can I do for you?"
Slowly getting over the fact that Twilight Sparkle was not, in fact, a dragon, Artemis composed himself. "Ah, erhm. I've been sent here by Princess Celestia to 'vacation' and she arranged to have me stay here at the library. Is Ms. Sparkle at home? I'm to give her this letter of recommendation from the Princess to prove my credentials." Magic-ing the letter from his saddlebags, he swiftly passed it over to Spike, who raised his eyes while he read it.
"Uhuh. Uhuh. Yeah. Twilight heard from the princess that a visitor might be staying. Alright, follow me! Twilight's busy studying right now, so I'll get you to the guest bedroom." Gesturing grandly, Spike allowed Artemis to enter the library.
The main room of the library was dim, lit only by a few sparse candles that dotted the room. On of those candles was currently in use by a purple unicorn mare who was completely absorbed by her studies. Upon hearing others enter the room, she looked up from her tome and smiled. "Hi, Artemis! My name is Twilight Sparkle. The Princess has told me so much about you! Like how you help her with her documents, how you single-hoofedly reorganized the entire Canterlot Library and nearly did the same with the Archives, and how you've researched time mani-" Her voice had become increasingly excited as she continued, but stopped short when Artemis raised his hoof.
"I've no idea what the Princess has told you about me, but I'm sure it can wait until morning. I'm rather tired at the moment and would like to be getting to bed." He made a fake yawn to support the pretense of being exhausted, even though his mind was still as sharp as it had been at midday. Artemis had tried to mask his displeasure at being held up out of consideration for his host, but knew that he had failed when Twilight's ears wilted.
"Oh...alright. Spike can show you to your room, then. I've still some studying left to do before I sleep anyways. Good night, Artemis," Twilight said deflatedly. It was as if all the energy she had been using before had suddenly escaped from her like air from a popped balloon, leaving behind a husk of herself.
"Good night, Ms. Sparkle. Best of luck on your studies, then." Artemis turned to follow Spike to the guest room.
-------------------------------Flashback End-------------------------------
I suppose my accommodations aren't too miserable. There's a bed and a bookshelf filled with books that I've read before but wouldn't mind leafing through again. Curious choice of decorations, however. I'm not quite sure how I feel about staying with Ms. Sparkle during this whole affair. I actually felt quite guilty when I saw her quickly become discouraged, although I'm not sure why I should feel so. After all, this is how I've lived for the past couple years - by rebuffing the friendships of other ponies. Still, from what I've heard, she is a like-minded intellectual such as I. Perhaps it would make an amusing diversion to converse with her. Perhaps I could talk to her of my hypothesis that I've formulated after reading the first two volumes of "A Treatise on Planar Manipulation."
Feh, who am I kidding. If I haven't met a pony who could be my match for intellectual conversation for the past ten years, I even less likely to find Ms. Sparkle to be appropriate, student of Princess Celestia or not.
Well, I'm off to bed. Perhaps when I wake up tomorrow, I could scout the nearest cafe that serves coffee and drink a brew before anypony else sees me. It would do me no good to have everypony purposely avoiding me.
Or would it? A titillating hypothesis to test out for another time. Adieu.
- Artemis, Chief Scholar of the Canterlot Archives