//------------------------------// // In which Dash fails to crash // Story: Cloudy With a Chance Of Larceny // by CoastalSarv //------------------------------// This story is based on the cartoon My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, which belongs to Hasbro, not me. Chapter One – In which Dash fails to crash The story began when Rainbow Dash failed to crash-land on the main street of Ponyville early one morning. This did not mean that she landed successfully, just that her crash-landing was wholly pathetic. She came in with a slow, wobbling flight, landed on only three of her legs, stumbled forward, her wings flapping aimlessly, until she fell down with her muzzle in the dusty street and plowed a furrow for a few yards before she came to a complete stop and just lay there with a scrape on her chin and her hind legs in the air. Applejack has just set up her market stall, and while she saw her friend crash, she at first didn't pay it much attention to it. Rainbow Dash crashed regularly as she trained, usually in much more violent fashion than this, no worse for wear. However, when she noticed the azure pegasus didn't rise, she got worried and trotted over. "Dash, ya OK?" Applejack wondered as she pulled her up with her teeth and swished her tail to dust her off. "Ya hurt?" Rainbow Dash blinked and shook her head. "I'm fine. Never been better!" she said with forced cheer. "Would love to chat - or race - but I have to get to work!" Then she started to walk away shakily towards the shops. "Uhm, Dash, aren't yer job in that direction?" said Applejack worried and pointed a hoof towards the sky, where weather ponies usually work. "That's Sugarcube Corner." "Just gonna get some breakfast on way to work" her friend said and yawned as she trotted to the door and entered it just as Mrs Cake opened it. "See ya!" Applejack frowned, shrugged and went back to her stall. Inside the shop Rainbow Dash sauntered up to the counter where Mr Cake was making the last things ready. Behind the counter was a newly installed enormous coffee machine, and the baker looked suspiciously at it. "Hello, Rainbow Dash" he said when he noticed her. "What can I do for you today?" "I want some doughnuts... strawberry... and some coffee." said Rainbow Dash and yawned again. "Strong coffee!" she added. "No problem!" The baker got two fresh doughnuts with strawberry jam and started to put them in a paper bag. "No no, don't bother, I will eat them straightaway!" said the pegasus. Mr Cake shrugged and put them down on the counter in front of her. "Coffee, then... How strong did you want?" he said as he went up to the coffee machine. "Espresso. Black. Double... no, make that double-double. Double-double-boppel-triple-trippel strong!" Rainbow Dash started to munch on a doughnut. "Really strong, I get that." Mr Cake started to fiddle around with the machine. "I am sorry, this will take a little while. I am not really that good at this newfangled contraption yet. Your friend Pinkie Pie is the one who manages it, really, and I suspect she actually has added some things to it - " as he said this he looked very worried " - but she is still sleeping, she partied late and baked hard in the early morning, so... oh, there she blows!" The machine spouted a tar-like substance into a paper cup with a cookie printed on it. "Here's your coffee, young lady. I think it is..." he said as he turned to Rainbow Dash, but the mare, leaning against the counter, had falling asleep. Meanwhile, on the street, Applejack spotted another familiar face as she gave a matronly mare two jars of apple jam. "Hiya, Twi'!" she said as the purple unicorn trotted up to her, her bigger saddlebags on her back together with Spike, who blinked and yawned. "Grocery shopping?" "You read my mind!" said Twilight Sparkle and smiled. "I have decided to start to make my grocery shopping and cooking more efficient. I use up too much of my allowance and too often the larder is empty and I have to send Spike on unnecessary errands." "Sounds sensible to me. Would yer new, efficient shoppin' include any of our fine, healthy, price-worthy apple products?" said Applejack, ever the salesmare. "Well, I'll have to look at the List!" Twilight levitated a scroll from her bags and unrolled it. "I have carefully calculated both the nutritional values and suitable prices of all groceries for the upcoming months - perishables excluded, which will be bought on a tri-day schedule! Ah yes, here it is, two bottles of apple cider, one bag of apple rolls, one bag of dried apples!" "No fresh apples?" said Applejack and started to gather the mentioned wares. "Are ya goin' to stop eatin' fresh apples?" "Oh no, but they count as perishables, you see. They last much better in your cellar than in my larder, so I will buy them every third day instead." "Well then, here's yer other things, then. Twenty-two bits, please." Applejack placed the wares on a box next to Twilight. Twilight looked up from her scroll. "Oh no! I can't take them now!" Twilight looked aghast. "Why not? Yer standing right here now?" Applejack looked irritated. Twilight held the List up to her face. "Because I have exactly calculated the shortest route including what must be carried, and I will have to get a bag of biscuits and two pounds powdered sugar first from Sugarcube Corner" said Twilight. "It will be faster that way." "But... ya is already standin'. Right. Here." Applejack said, looking incredulous. "Of course, Applejack, silly filly, I went here to say hello to you! But now I must go on. See you later when the List calls for your stand!" Still reading her List, Twilight walked off humming to herself. Applejack stared at her slack-jawed, then she noticed a tugging at her legs. It was Spike. "Save me! Or kill me! She's been like this for a week!" The little dragon looked like he was ready to collapse. Applejack chuckled. "Ah'm afraid yer on your own, Spike, though 'tis a pity Twi's latest fixation hurts ya as well as herself." Just as Twilight went into the shop, Rainbow Dash was leaving it, still just walking, trying to munch muffins at the same time as she kept the coffee mug in her mouth. Twilight turned to her. "Hi Rainbow Dash! Look at my new List!" Twilight said happily. Rainbow Dash walked straight past her. "Well, I guess only I find it interesting, but..." she mumbled. "Rainbow Dash!" No response. "Rainbow! Dash! Dashie! RD!" The pegasus walked on and was about to launch herself into the air when she spilled industrial strength coffee on herself and changed her mind. She placed her breakfast on a bench and started eating it, breaking off to yawn. The other ponies closed in on her, Applejack with the most celerity and an angry expression. "Rainbow Dash! Twilight jus' wanted to say hello, what's up with ya?" There was no answer. When she reached the bench, Applejack could see that her friend had fallen deeply asleep leaning against it, and coffee was running over it and dripping on her coat unnoticed. Twilight and Spike joined her. "What's up with her?" Spike said. "Is she ill?" "Looks dead tired to me" said Applejack and frowned. "Is she training too much or somethin'?" Twilight looked closely at Rainbow Dash and registered a matted, unwashed coat, a mane that lacked all luster and was twisted into knots, and hooves that hadn't been washed for a very long time. "She is exhausted. And she looks like she hasn't been sleeping, eating or even drinking enough!" said Twilight with some panic in her voice. "This can be really dangerous - we should take her to the clinic!" "Sure can do!" said Applejack. "Jus' hoist her up on my back an' I'll take her there". Said - and done.