Chapter 26: Drunken soldiers
5 days later...
Yuri's house is now complete and Kay is helping Yuri moving the weapons supply to the house. After they finish moving all the weapons, both of them takes a rest.
Yuri: Thanks for the help, comrade.
Kay: Not a problem. Boy, to be honest, this doesn't look like a house. It's more like a weapons house if you ask me.
Yuri: This is home for me. You see, back at my motherland I was security for the gun supply, and sometimes I even sleep in the weapons room, so I got used to it.
Kay: You sure you don't want a bed with that? Pinkie Pie said she got an old bed kept in the basement for to long, she thinks you might need it.
Yuri: Spasibo, a bed is what this place need. Vodka?
Kay: No thanks, I don't drink. You have that all the time?
Yuri: Da, and this will be the last bottle.
Kay: Well, Applejack got some cider back at her place. Why don't you try them?
Yuri: That's some good word for a man who doesn't drink.
Kay: I don't touch those stuff anymore. Alright, I'm just gonna stay here.
Yuri: Okay then, I'll be going.
Yuri left the house, while Kay stay to check out the gun supply. On the way there, Yuri stumbles upon Josh.
Josh: Hey, Yuri. Where you heading to?
Yuri: I'm going to get some cider at Applejack's farm, wanna come?
Josh: Well, since I got nothing today, alright.
Yuri: Da! Lets get some booze!
Sweet Apple Farm
Yuri and Josh arrives and greet by Big Mac.
Big Mac: Welcome, now what can ah' do for you folks?
Yuri: I'm down to my last bottle of vodka, and I heard you got ciders here! Got any strong ones?
Big Mac: We might have them strong ciders here. We don't really sale them so they're my ciders, but y'all can drop in and take a drink here anytime you want.
Yuri: Spasibo! Lets get drunk!
Josh: Can't believe I'm doing this, but okay.
Big Mac's private place
After drink few cups of strong cider, the three are now drunk....really drunk.
Yuri: You know, I use to wonder why World War 2 happen untill I watch History Channel!!
Big Mac: Ah don't know what you're talking about but its funny!
Josh: Guys! Guys! Wanna know something!
Big Mac & Yuri: Yeah?
Josh: Five days ago I kissed Twilight...AND I LIKE IT!!
Big Mac & Yuri: HAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!
Big Mac: Ya should play her horns! I heard unicorns got turn on by doing that!
Yuri: I get turn on when a woman give me a lap dance! Hey! Where are the womens!!
Josh: Yuri! You stupid ass, we're not in a strip club!! We're in a fucking room where this big ass pony spends his day drinking and jerking off to who ever he wants to jerk off to!!
Big Mac: How you know that! You're a pyschic! Here, more drinks for you!!
Yuri's house
After checking the gun supplies, Kay took a nap but then experience a nightmare.
Kay's dream
Thug: You're going to give the stuff or what?
Kay: Show me the money first, then I give you the stuff.
Thug: Alright then. (show Kay a briefcase full of money) Here's your money, kid.
Kay: No, this ain't enough!
Thug: Look, tell your boss to fuck off and take the money!!
Kay: This ain't enough, asshole!!
Thug: What is this, charity? Just take the fucking money, give me the stuff, and fucking leave!
Bill: (pushes Kay away)Are you fucking deaf!!! This money is ain't enough, dick brain!
Kay: Bill! Stay out of this!
Bill: You always said that Kay! "Stay back", "Leave this to me", "Stay out of this", FUCK YOU!!
Thug: Is this shitty drama over yet! Take the money and leave, assholes!!
Bill: I won't leave untill you give us the proper amount of money!
Thug: Or why don't I smoke you first!(aims his gun at Bill and shoots him)
Kay: BILL!!(aims his gun at the thug)
Kay awakes and quickly aims his gun at Twilight, who came visit the house.
Kay: *sigh* Sorry. I-I just got a nightmare...
Twilight: Is it Discord?
Kay: No...just my past....I don't wanna talk about. So, why you here for?
Twilight: Just wanna check out the house, and it's looks great, except it need more decorations.
Kay: Well, in Yuri's book, he considers this boxes of guns as decorations.
Twilight: Oh. Anyway, have you seen Josh somewhere?
Kay: No, haven't seen him.
Somewhere around Ponyville
Yuri and Josh are still drunk, walking around aimlessly.
Josh: Yuriiii.....where the hell are we going.....
Yuri: I'm to drunk....to know where I step my foot. Hey Ivan!!! Your wife look like a bear!! Did you marry a bear!!!
Then suddenly, Yuri accidently bumps into Rarity.
Yuri: Sorry mister, I didn't see you there..
Rarity: Mister?! I am a mare! Are you blind!
Yuri: I!! Am not blind....just drunk!!! And your hair is very swirly!! Makes me want to THROW UP!!
Rarity: How dare you!
Yuri: How dare I? How dare I!!! I dare!!
Josh: You show him, Yuri! His hair make me want to throw up!
Rarity: I told, I am a mare!!
Yuri: What? I'm too drunk to listen!!
Rarity has enough of their insults and she use her magic to levitate them.
Josh: Yuri look! I'm flying! I'm flying!
Yuri: You look like a bird, Josh!! Hey mister! Make us fly faster!
Rarity: You wanna fly? I'll make you fly!!
Rarity then throws them to the ground and the two fainted. Kay and Twilight heard the comotion and rush to the site.
Twilight: Rarity, what happen here?
Rarity: Those two insulted my hair and called me a "he"!!
Twilight: What? What would they do that?
Kay: Cause they're drunk, they smell like cider. Strong one if you ask me.
Rarity: Well, that's not a reason to insult me!
Kay: They're drunk, and they can't think straight. We have to get them out of here.
Kay lift the two and carry them to Yuri's house.
Twilight: It's alright Rarity. They don't mean that. They're just....drunk.
Yuri's house
Kay: Alright, you two just lay your asses here.
Kay left the two drunken soldiers and heads out. Then, a royal guard arrive to meet Kay.
Royal guard: Shining Armor wants to see you three at Canterlot.
Kay: The other two are still drunk, so I'll just have to go without them.
Royal guard: Very well then, follow me.
Canterlot
Shining Armor: Kay, it's good to see you.
Kay: Good to see you too.
Shining Armor: Where are the others?
Kay: Their not in a combat mode right now, so I'm the only one here.
Shining Armor: Well, it's better than nothing.
Kay: So, what chu' want me here for?
Shining Armor: Our spy as return and he told us that the enemy is making another bomb.
Kay: Another bomb? Motherfuckers don't want to quit. How many are we talking about?
Shining Armor: Just one-
Kay: Just one?! What is this? A joke?
Shining Armor: Let me finish. Just one bomb, but it's a big one. He said that this one will completely wipe out Equestria.
Kay: ......okay, that ain't no joke.
Shining Armor: According to our spy, the bomb is located inside Discord's underground base. We need you to go there and destroy it before it's too late.
Kay: Roger that.