Luna opened her bloodshot eyes and looked up at the spinning ceiling. She slowly lifted her head, groaning in pain from her throbbing headache. She scanned the dimly lit room trying to figure out where she was. Her eyes followed a stained red carpet, darted between broken pieces of glass, then settled onto a destroyed and royal looking chair. It took a few moments for the details to register but she eventually figured out that she was in the throne room. Putting a hoof to her forehead, she slowly got up, wincing as the headache intensified. In her drunken stupor, she cautiously took a step forward in the darkness only to lose her footing and fall down the stairs leading up to the throne.
She started to roll around on the floor in pain, screaming in agony. "AGGHHHH! MY HEAD! WHAT THE HAY?!"
Luna continued rolling around for a while until she decided to encase her forehead in a block of ice. After the pain began to facilitate, she steadily rose in an effort to avoid any more headaches. With a clearer mind, Luna began to see the reality of the situation. Was there an accident? Was the throne room attacked? Is Celestia alright?! What happened? Horrific speculations flooded her head as she began to hyperventilate. She lit up her horn and illuminated the room, the light distorted from the ice. Eyes closed, Luna began to focus her thoughts as she casted a memory spell, trying to recall what happened last night.
Some blurry images started to form in her head but they quickly became more vivid. There was a flying dolphin, it was her birthday, she and Celestia went drinking... Her eyes opened as her mind clicked at the last memory. Luna had heard about crazy things happening when a pony drank too much alcohol. They would become "drunk" and stumble around acting like complete buffoons.
Suddenly, her head started throbbing again as the ice made her forehead too cold. She groaned in pain as she began stumbling towards the door. She needed to find Celestia to see if she knew of a remedy for this strange headache. As she neared the giant double doors at the end of the throne room a groan emanated from the corner.
What the... is that Celestia?
Luna wobbled towards the source of groaning before she stepped into some strange slimy substance. She looked around and found Celestia collapsed on the floor, clutching her stomach.
"Don't come any closer...I'm pretty sure there's more than just puke over here," Celestia moaned.
Luna drew back in disgust. "Aww! That's just revolting!"
"Yeah, but it's better than dying of alcohol poisoning." Celestia slowly began to get up on wobbly legs.
"Wait...alcohol poisons you?"
"Well, it gets into your bloodstream and makes you drunk, so if you wanna view it from a biological standpoint then yes, yes it does poison you."
"Look, do you know a way to get rid of these headaches?" The shimmering blue light dimmed a little as Luna winced from her hangover.
Celestia tapped her chin. "Uh, there's a ton of remedies I hear about on how to cure a hangover, but I deal with them just by getting breakfast and sitting down for a while. Oh and drink some water, ponies tend to get dehydrated while drunk."
Luna melted the ice on her forehead and began to drink the water that was dripping down her face. "Woah. Never realized how thirsty I was..."
"By the way, do you mind lowering the moon so I can put up the sun? I can't see a thing in here."
"Yeah, sure."
The moon suddenly dropped and was instantly replaced by the sun, illuminating a statue made out of all sorts of different creatures lying next to Celestia. The general area was also covered with bile.
Celestia looked around. "Much better...gah! What the hay is up with that freaky statue?"
Luna narrowed her eyes. “I dunno, it does like kind of familiar though...”
Celestia raised an eyebrow. "How in Equestria does this ungodly creation look familiar to you?"
"I dunno, it just does. Then again, maybe Dad was just bored again and started messing around with animals."
Cadence gasped. "Wait. DAD???"
Celestia paused the floating screen. "Oh right, I forgot to mention that earlier. Discord's actually our father."
"Then who's your mother?"
Luna grinned awkwardly. "Uhh, we don't actually know."
"Yeah, Discord had tons of rampant sex all the time, back then it was completely normal," Celestia explained.
Cadence grimaced. "Okay...forget I asked."
"Wait Tia, how do we even know that we're sisters? For all we know we could just be half sisters."
"Eh, close enough. Point is, Discord's actually our dad, and we accidentally overthrew him in a night of drunken stupor," Celestia replied.
Cadence raised an eyebrow. "How in Equestria are you two totally okay with all this? That seems really messed up."
Celestia began to pour Barbeque sauce onto a banana. "Well considering that the two of us have been alive for who knows who long, I'm pretty sure we're the two most tolerant entities in existence after going through so much crap that nothing's weird to us anymore." She took a bite out of her strange snack. "Hmm, could use some cheese..."
Luna poured some glasses of moonshine. "Let's stop delaying the story and continue already. Drinks anypony?"
Celestia looked out one of the nearby windows. "That's weird, where's dad? You'd think that by now we'd start seeing giant teddy bears stampeding or something."
"I’m more concerned about what the hay we even did a few hours ago, I mean, why are we even in Dad's throne room with a giant statue of...whatever the buck that is." Luna lightly tapped the statue, half expecting the thing to come to life.
"Well, we don't really need to know, right?" As Celestia turned around from facing the window, she noticed the throne's sorry state. "Hey, was the throne always like that? With all the swords lying around and everything?"
Luna groaned. "See? This is why we need to know EXACTLY what we did last night. For all we know, we could have just used the reset keys and turned Equestria into who knows what."
The two sisters approached the shattered throne, noting the broken glass case and the reset keys lying around the scene. Celestia's eye's went wide as she realized what must have happened.
"Oh buck. We are in SO much trouble..."
Celestia's horn glowed as she frantically swept through the entire room, revealing what spells have been cast throughout the scene. It was apparent that the keys have been used, resetting all of Discord's magic and turning Equestria into its original stable environment. Celestia continued to sweep through the room, encountering nothing of note until she reached the statue. She paused for a bit when the golden shimmering enveloped the odd statue lying by her body fluids.
Celestia gasped. "Or...maybe we aren't."
Luna eyed her sister with concern. "What do you mean? What's so special about the statue?"
"...It's Dad."
"What the buck do you mean that's dad?!"
Celestia's horn stopped glowing. "While we were drunk one of us transformed him into whatever the hell that thing is, then set a petrification imprisonment spell for one thousand and one years."
Luna began to panic. "Well can't we remove it or something? We can't just leave Dad like this!"
"Well unless you know somepony who's magically stronger than us, he's going to stay like that for a while."
"So what are we going to do until then?" asked Luna.
Celestia gulped. "I don't really know, I guess we're just going to have to make do with what we did..."
"And that's how modern Equestria was made!" Celestia grinned.
"By accidentally overthrowing a communist government that was perfectly fine and usurping leadership while horribly intoxicated!" Luna burped before reaching for more moonshine.
Cadence's facial expression was blank. "So...were the ponies totally okay with this? Or..."
"They all just thought it was another one of Discord's jokes until all the ponies that remembered him died out. From that point on order had become the norm," Celestia explained.
"And gone were the days of blissful ignorance and stupidity," Luna finished.
"But don't you two find it wrong to keep Discord encased in stone then if he wasn't even evil?" asked Cadence.
Celestia finished her glass of moonshine. "Well we understand that, but try telling that to the rest of Equestria, our subjects have become obsessed with schedules and work ethics. Well, most of them anyway, for it seems that the upcoming generation has been slowly changing this with all their technological innovations."
"Yeah, it sort of sucks how the winner's the good guy, because I really do miss some of Discord's crazy antics. But unfortunately, we can't have opposite ideals coexisting without one of them being defined as 'good' and the other 'evil', " Luna added.
"Besides, remember what happened when he got out? His chaos led to fighting. That's the last thing we want in Equestria." Celestia tapped her chin. "If only there was a way to get him to realize that brainwashing ponies is not okay nowadays."
Cadence took a sip from her glass. "So what does all this have to do with Luna becoming Nightmare Moon and getting banished?"
"Well from that point onwards, Luna and I have been having tons more drunk adventures! This was just how it all started," Celestia answered.
Cadence stared ahead blankly, one eye twitching. "...I don't even...you know what? Just pour me another glass Luna."