//------------------------------//
// Google Doc: Equestrian Mutual 
// Story: Parchment Scroll Gets Twitterpated 
// by Parchment_Scroll 
//------------------------------//

Author’s Note:  It’s official.  I’ve reached the level of bronydom where I’m having pony dreams.  It’s true, I was more than half awake at the time, but it was still in the wake of a day’s sleep that it happened.  I had fallen asleep watching Swarm of the Century on my DVR, and woke up to a life insurance commercial.  My sleep-addled brain took the concept of life insurance and ran with it to places that only make sense to Pinkie Pie.  Here is what I got.
                                                                                                        --Parchment Scroll

Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash are standing over a coffin in Sugarcube Corner.  Rainbow Dash is clearly distraught.  Twilight less so, but still upset.

Twilight Sparkle:  I...  I can’t believe she’s gone.
Rainbow Dash:  Yeah.  It just doesn’t make any sense.  But I guess that’s her all around.
Twilight Sparkle:  This service...  it’s what she would have wanted.
Rainbow Dash:  I just hope I have enough to cover the funeral expenses.  Pinkie Pie never planned ahead for--
Pinkie Pie:  Hey!  Whatcha guys doin’?  Who’s in the box?
Rainbow Dash:  Augh.  Pinkie!
Director:  CUT!

* * * * *

Rainbow Dash:  Pinkie Pie never planned ahead for this... she didn’t have an insur-- (laughing) It’s no fair!  She’s making faces at me!
Twilight Sparkle:  (exasperated) PINKIE!
Director:  CUT!

* * * * *

Rainbow Dash: I never knew how expensive a funeral could be.  It--
Pinkie Pie: This is all wrong!  I demand a wake!  With streamers, and balloons, and Pin the Tail on the Pony.  AND CUPCAKES!
Twilight Sparkle:  Pinkie!
Director:  CUT!

* * * * *

Announcer (O.C.):  Equestrian Mutual.  Yeah.  This is the footage we went with.