Author’s Note: It’s official. I’ve reached the level of bronydom where I’m having pony dreams. It’s true, I was more than half awake at the time, but it was still in the wake of a day’s sleep that it happened. I had fallen asleep watching Swarm of the Century on my DVR, and woke up to a life insurance commercial. My sleep-addled brain took the concept of life insurance and ran with it to places that only make sense to Pinkie Pie. Here is what I got.
--Parchment Scroll
Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash are standing over a coffin in Sugarcube Corner. Rainbow Dash is clearly distraught. Twilight less so, but still upset.
Twilight Sparkle: I... I can’t believe she’s gone.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah. It just doesn’t make any sense. But I guess that’s her all around.
Twilight Sparkle: This service... it’s what she would have wanted.
Rainbow Dash: I just hope I have enough to cover the funeral expenses. Pinkie Pie never planned ahead for--
Pinkie Pie: Hey! Whatcha guys doin’? Who’s in the box?
Rainbow Dash: Augh. Pinkie!
Director: CUT!
* * * * *
Rainbow Dash: Pinkie Pie never planned ahead for this... she didn’t have an insur-- (laughing) It’s no fair! She’s making faces at me!
Twilight Sparkle: (exasperated) PINKIE!
Director: CUT!
* * * * *
Rainbow Dash: I never knew how expensive a funeral could be. It--
Pinkie Pie: This is all wrong! I demand a wake! With streamers, and balloons, and Pin the Tail on the Pony. AND CUPCAKES!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie!
Director: CUT!
* * * * *
Announcer (O.C.): Equestrian Mutual. Yeah. This is the footage we went with.