Conversion Bureau: St George

by kryxel

Episode 1 part 2: a new place for an old face

St George turned out to be a semi small town. Not big enough to be called big, but still too big to be seen as small. A retirement/college city, with golf courses as far as the eye can see. Suburbs dotting the areas in between and a few pinnacles of interest coming from a religion of some sort.
In other words, the Doctor’s worst nightmare.
He landed at the old converted wallmart between the eastern end of St George and the western side of Washington City.
The old building had been refurbished into a conversion center. He noticed that all but one of the front doors was sealed off with the duraplasteel. Nothing short of a nuke would get through them now.
The Doctor looked up at the sky and saw a few patches of blue. A rare sight in the heavily polluted world.
He looked around the small city (or at least the parts he could see) and sighs. "This is going to be a pain... "

He walked back into the TARDIS and set the coordinates to the parking garage. A few seconds later he walks out by what was once the "tire center." With a glance he looks over the bureau. The entertainment area was converted to a lounge, The toy isles into a classroom, the food isles turned into a cafeteria and kitchen, with the rest of the areas changed to classrooms, bedrooms, an announcement booth and, last but definitely not least, the conversion center itself, nestled into the layaway area in the back of the old store.

"Well, I guess it is time to meet the troops." The Doctor said heading up to the front lounge. He spied the ponies talking wildly to his future self... Or is it his present self ponified? The Doctor quickly shrugs and shakes his head as he walks over, muttering about wibbelly wobbelly stuff.
The room fell silent, as if someone suddenly turned off the sound. "That’s... probably not a good sign," the Doctor said as he waved slightly...
Each of the ponies looked at Whooves and then at the human Doctor, then back to the brown Earth pony, before sharing various looks of confusion among themselves.

"And that is... Probably worse," the Doctor said as his stallion counterpart stands up and looks to the rest of them. "Well, as I know what is going through my mind, he says hi and wants you all to do your best for the Princesses. They will want a report from each of us on each newfoal that passes through the doors," the stallion finishes before sitting down next to the walleyed Pegasus known as Ditzy and closes his eyes.

"Right... That," the Doctor replied, nodding. "Um... you may want to prepare, since we open tomorrow."
The Doctor turns and walked toward his office near where the garden center was, and sighs as he opens the door.

Only to be assaulted by something white with a blonde-yellow mane doing an impressive attempt at breaking the speed of sound.

"Ahem... " the Pegasus smiles for a moment, before breaking out into song.

"Congratulations on becoming our boss today, today!
We wanted to say thankyou and hooray, hooray!
Though you’re old and grumpy, skinny and looking frumpy.
We will put a smile up on that human face!!!!
So when you need a smile or two,
you will know exactly what to do,
I will throw a party dance and invite everypony,
and we will put a smile on that human face!"

The Doctor flinched as Surprise smiled and blew a party horn. Loudly, and about half an inch from his face.
"Um... That is new... Being sung to by a Pegasus who thinks she is a hummingbird... Never had that experience before..."
Surprise smiled and giggled. "Well duh silly. If it was something that happened to you before then that would be boring, and if it was boring then you would not have fun, and if it was no fun then you would not like it, and if you didn’t like it then you would not like it here and if you do not like it here then you would leave and if you leave everypony would get sad and if everyone gets sad then we woul-" The Doctor finally managed to silence the Pegasus by putting a hand on her mouth.
"Thank you. And don’t worry. I was asked by Princess Celestia to do a job, so I am doing it," the Doctor smiled. "Well, as you are here, can you go and get the desk runner? I want to ask miss Doo some questions and give her an assignment."
Surprise nodded and bounced. "okie dokie, I’ll do it in ten seconds flat!"
Surprise practically vanished, leaving behind a cartoonish cloud of dust in the shape of her body.

The Doctor sat down and connected the computer to his TARDIS.
there was a knock on the door. The Doctor Smiled and said, "Come in."
Ditzy opened the door and looked at the Doctor. "You asked for me, sir?"
"I did. I have got an assignment for you." The Doctor sat up and looked at the wall-eyed mare. "I want you to look over the potential ponies, and pick one each week. We need to find out why they decided to become ponies, why they decided to abandon the lives they took years to build in exchange for a set of hooves. To do that, I’ll be holding interviews with some of them to see what their motivation is."
Ditzy nodded. "Okay. I think I can do that."
The Doctor blinked as he remembered something odd from her file. "So, why is your nickname Derpy?"
Ditzy smiled. "Well, it started out as an insult to my... unique eye condition. Until I met the Doctor, err, I mean you, I mean..." Her eyes started to point different directions as she tried to work out the bending of time and space, and how this skinny and scary human could become her lovable Doctor.
"Don’t worry Ditzy, just continue," The doctor said with a smile.
"Well, one day I was cornered by a group of bullies, when suddenly this blue box appears out of nowhere. So while we all were staring at the box, one of the doors opened, showing the Doctor with the kindest smile I had ever seen. He walked up to me, and kissed my forehead. He then turned to the others and said, 'her eyes are one of the many reasons I love her...' It turned out he missed the date by a few years, confusing me to no end. But now, I use that nickname with pride knowing my husband loves them."
The Doctor smiled and nods. "That is good that I... He... We did that. Well, I think I have taken up enough of your time. We should get some rest. It will be a busy day tomorrow."
-----
The Doctor woke up to a smell he had not smelled in a very, very long time... Bacon.
The manna of the heavens themself. The grand panacia.
He stood up and quickly walked into the bathroom to shave, before he made his appearance in the dining hall.
"Hello everyone, everypony... Is that bacon I smell?" He said, walking over to the kitchen where the Cakes were busy cooking haycakes, alfalfa and muffins for the ponies, and bacon and sausages for the human in their midst.
"Indeed it is hon... I´m sorry if it is not quite prepared, first time cooking uh, meat as it were..." Cup Cake looked a little pale as she rolls over the fat-soaked sausage.
"Oh, no problem Mrs. Cake. If you want I can cook my own meat from now on."
Mrs. Cake smiled and looked very relieved. "Thank you dear, thank you!" She smiled as she scooped all the meat products onto the Doctor’s plate before joining her husband and her two foals at their table.
The Doctor sat down at an empty table and started to eat the bacon, when Colgate sat down across from him and poured syrup on her haycakes.
"So, do you know me yet?" She said while lifting up a pancake using her magic.
"You are Colgate, a toothpaste supermodel or something from Manehattan, right?" The Doctor said between bites.
Colgate sighed. "Nope, you don’t know me yet. i am..."
Ditzy suddenly bursted into the room with a smile so wide it threatened to split her head in half. "WE HAVE HUMANS! WE HAVE HUMANS!"
"Humans! Humans! yay yay yay!" Dinky said while bouncing around her mother.
The Doctor stood up and wiped his mouth.
“Fillies and gentlecolts... The bureau is now, open!”