When she woke up, she had her morning muffin and coffee. She put on her saddle bags, filled them with newspapers, and headed out to deliver the paper. She could tell that something was wrong as she neared Sweet Apple Acres. There was a sour-sweet smell in the air. As she flew over the orchards, she looked down and almost fell out of the sky. Over half of the apple trees looked dead. She set down beside a distraught looking Apple family.
"Applejack, what happened?"
Applejack, Big Macintosh and Apple Bloom were standing outside of their house, staring at the orchard. Big Macintosh looked more solemn than ever, while Apple Bloom was crying, almost screaming. Applejack turned to look at Derpy, her eyes haunted and old. Her voice was hollow, dead.
"We came out this morning, and it was all dead. 2/3 of the crop, gone. The trees died, the apples rotting on the branches. All over night. Everything was just fine last night. It was too much for Granny Smith. She... she didn't make it."
Applejack broke down and started crying, burying her head in her legs. Big Macintosh wiped a tear from his eye, struggling to keep his composure as the head of the Apple family. He lifted his head high, and breathed deep.
"The crop's not all gone. We can still come back from this. It'll be hard, and it'll take some time, but we can do it. We're Apples. We don't give up."
Apple Bloom started to quiet at Big Macintosh's speech, sniffling when he finished.
"Y-yeah. We're App...Apples. Come on, Big Sis. Let's...let's go see what's left."
Derpy looks back towards the orchard, starting when she saw a now-familiar flash of pink. She took to the sky over the orchard, scanning the dead trees for the pony. She spotted her off to the left...but no, there she was off to the right. She watched the pony step behind a tree, but she didn't come back from behind. She looked around rapidly, spotting her at least 50 hoof-widths away. She watched closely, watching the pony step behind a tree and step out from behind another.
Derpy shook her head, setting that aside to think about later. She folded her wings and went into a dive, hoping to catch the pink pony before she moved again. She watched in dismay as the pony looked towards her, her wings snapping out to catch her as she caught sight of the strange pony's odd swirled eyes. The other pony stuck her tongue out and pranced insolently behind another tree. Derpy swung her head back and forth looking, but she was unable to see the other. She spun around as she heard a voice.
"Yoohoo, I'm over here. Catch me if you can." The other pony giggled and ran into the Everfree Forest.
Derpy landed at the edge of the forest, shivering a bit before she gathered herself together and walked beneath the trees. Her eyes constantly scanned around, nervous about going so deep into the Everfree Forest. Her hoof-falls echo strangely back to her.
"Who are you? Why can you see me?" The voice comes from the trees. "I'm Screwball. What's your name?"
"D-Derpy. Derpy H-Hooves."
"Are you scared, Derpy Hooves? You sound scared." The voice seemed to keep moving around her. One moment Screwball sounded like she was off to the left, but halfway through the sentence, she was behind, then she was above in the canopy. Derpy's eyes were rolling a bit, air snorting out through her nostrils as she kept walking. Off in the distance, she heard the howl and clack of the Timberwolves, but she didn't concern herself with them. The true danger was right here. She looked up towards where she had last heard the pony called Screwball.
"Why are you doing this? The balcony, the crane. Why'd you do that to the Apple's orchard?"
Screwball dropped from the trees in front of Derpy, landing lightly on her hooves. It didn't look like she had a mouth, though. Her voice still came from the trees. Worse yet, it changed locations with every word. Above, behind, left, right, even coming from below her hooves.
"Why? Why Derpy, because it's fun. Don't you like to have FUN?"
With the last word, the voice returned to Screwball, a mouth appeared on her face, and she lept at Derpy, eyes blazing with a bright purple fire. At the last moment, she vanished, a giggle echoing from the point at where she'd been. The giggle swirled around and around Derpy's head like a thing alive. She could swear that she could almost see it.
"Poor, poor Derpy. So confused, so misunderstood. So amusing." The voice echoed around, seeming to come from the very trees. "They laugh at you, you know. Every time you break something, every time you get lost. They laugh and laugh and laugh."
Her voice changed, and now it wasn't Screwball's.
"That Derpy, she's so clumsy." Rainbow Dash.
"She's so stupid." Twilight Sparkle.
"At least she's always good for a laugh." Pinkie Pie.
"Yes, but those horrid eyes. You can't tell if she's talking to you, or the pony behind you." Rarity.
"She's a dang menace. She's a danger to herself and every pony around." Applejack.
They all started laughing, the sound driving Derpy to tears. She huddled on the ground, putting her hooves over her ears.
"Stop it. Please, stop."
The laughter cut off abruptly. She got back to her hooves, shaking a bit.
"Who...What are you?"
"Who am I? What am I?" The voice came from everywhere, filling Derpy's whole world. Booming and powerful, it was the voice of an angry god. "I am the Spawn of Silliness. The Child of Chaos. I am the Echo of Eris. The Devilspawn of Disharmony. I. Am. The Daughter. Of DISCORD!"
When she said Discord, Derpy's world seemed to crack, tilting and spinning out of control. She struggled to keep standing. She shut her eyes tight against the onslaught.
"My daddy is Discord. When those meddlesome busyponies trapped him in stone, it fell to me to spread Chaos across the land. I will make him proud. Maybe, if I do a good enough job, maybe Daddy will come home."
Her voice at the end was so sad that Derpy could feel her heart breaking.
"Oh Screwball, I'm so sor-"
"Silence. I don't need your pity. I will have my Daddy back, if I have to burn all of Equestria to the ground to do it."
The world spun and twisted and folded in such strange ways that Derpy felt that she may vomit up her mind. She closed her eyes more tightly, concentrating with all that she had.
"This isn't real. It can't be happening. It's not real. It's not real. It. Is. Not. REAL."
With a yell, her eyes sprang open, glowing brilliantly with the light of pure logic. The world stopped it's impossible motions and Screwball stood there in the middle of the path, looking confused. She looked quizzically at Derpy, her eyes wondering.
"You are something different." She started to fade away, her voice doing the same. "We will meet again, Derpy Hooves. And next time, I won't be so pleasant."
She was gone, her last word echoing on the air. Derpy shivered and took to the sky, flying through a hole in the canopy. She started to head for home when she realized that there was a weight on her back. She looked back cautiously and let out a relieved laugh when she saw that, in all the excitement, she hadn't finished her paper delivery.
"The more things change," she said, to nopony in particular, "The more they stay the same."
With that, she flew off to deliver The News Of The Day, and maybe have a muffin. In the back of her mind, she was thinking about Screwball, and planning what she would do if she ever returned.