I Won't See You Tonight

by Deathpony45

Chapter 1: Rainbow's Goodbyes

Earlier that Day

Five mares sat on a hill grieving their lost friend; she had left them and they had done nothing to stop her. They all regretted it deeply and wondered how this possibly could have happened.
A sixth mare, this one only a filly, joined them after a couple of minutes of silent sadness. The little Pegasus buried her face into another pegasus's shoulder and finally let herself cry; everypony here would understand. After all this filly was the one their friend had trusted the most.

How could this have happened? Twilight thought to herself.
All of her friends were wondering the same thing. Why would Rainbow go so abruptly? So unjustified and seemingly without consideration for her friends? But then again wasn't it justified, didn't Rainbow have every reason to do what she did no matter how much it hurt all of her other friends? Especially after how they all had treated her. She had lied to them but they should have gotten past it they should have done something.
Fluttershy tried to comfort the little filly, telling her it would be okay and that they would see Rainbow soon. But they all knew that wasn't happening they all knew they weren't going to be seeing Rainbow Dash for a long, long, time.
"Earlier that day"

Rainbow Dash sighed as she approached the tree library that was the home of her friend, no ex-friend Twilight Sparkle. As far as Dash was concerned only one pony cared for her anymore.
She would be leaving soon, leaving for awhile and she was on a journey to tell every one of her friends goodbye before she did, despite the fact that her friends had known of her upcoming trip for quite some time. She smiled despite everything as she she knocked on the familiar wooden door, followed almost immediately a studious purple unicorn opening the door.
"Oh," Twilight said as she saw Rainbow. "Hi Rainbow," Twilight forced a smile. "Have you come to say goodbye?"
"Yeah," Rainbow responded hesitantly, trying her best to maintain eye contact no matter how awkward the situation got but she could not so she let her gaze drift down to her hooves.
"Well, you take care of yourself and don't get in to any trouble while you're in Manehattan, okay?" For a moment Rainbow wore a serious expression and Twilight just stared at her, confused.
Please say you want me to stay, Rainbow thought to herself. Please give me a sign that I still matter to you. But when she saw Twilight with that same apathetic, forced smile, she flashed her usual cocky smile,
"Don't worry about it Twilight!" Rainbow said. "I'll be fine."

If only.
She still had some hope that her other friends wouldn't want her to leave. Surely one of them still cared about her even after she'd lied to them.

Twilight shut her door, finally letting her false smile fall to a tired frown and wishing she had spoken up. she knew that Rainbow had always wanted to join the Wonderbolts, but she didn't want her to go away for so long. She didn't have the right. But didn't she this was her dream after all.
But there was some justification. She didn't speak up or object because she knew this is what Rainbow wanted; she knew that all of her other four friends would do the same, no matter how difficult it was for them. And although she'd never admit it to anypony recently, Rainbow had been lying to them and Twilight wasn't sure she could trust her. She briefly wondered if Rainbow had told her other friends. She realized that she probably had so she would most likely be met with similar responses. After all it didn't make sense for Rainbow to only tell Twilight.
Regardless, she didn't want her to leave. All Twilight could find the energy or emotional capacity to do was to lay on the wooden floor of the library, allowing hindsight to send her into a guilt trip. This would be a long

The next stop on her list of goodbyes was Rarity, who was currently in her boutique working on her next creation. She had been holed up there for several days now and came out only to buy fabric.
"Well this one shouldn't be to hard at least." Rainbow Dash replied uneasily as she knocked on the door, but was greeted with a face she wasn't quite expecting.
"Oh hey Rainbow!" said Sweetie Belle with a youthful smile; it was Saturday, and Rainbow remembered how fun it was to be out of school. "What's up?"
"Uhh..." Rainbow Dash stammered, regaining her cocky demeanor that she had abandoned after the meeting with Twilight. "I just wanted to see Rarity, Sweetie. Where is she?"
"She's just upstairs in her bedroom, been crying all morning for some reason." Sweetie Belle said, lowering her voice to a whisper for the last half of the sentence. Rainbow's face lit up with hope. What could she be crying about? Rainbow wondered. Sweetie Belle let her in and cantered upstairs hearing the quiet sounds of Rarity's sobs. Rainbow walked into her room and say her friend in her favorite robe with a box of tissues next to her her eyes were bloodshot from crying.
"Hey? Rarity?" Dash said, approaching her bed slowly. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?"
Rarity jumped at the sound of her friend's voice, and stammered for an excuse."Uh... uh..." she looked around, and the first thing she saw was the TV set by the innumerable amounts of prototype clothing on her floor. "I-I've just been watching my favorite soap opera, Rainbow." Rarity said, heaving a silent sigh of relief. "You know how it is."
Dash's heart sank with disappointment. Of course, Rarity about anything Rainbow Dash did. But she managed to keep her attitude from faltering."Not really, Rarity. You know I don't watch those egghead shows." Rainbow said with a smile. Rarity tried to choke out a laugh, but her throat hurt too much from crying to do it convincingly.
"Yes, you prefer those rugged sports programs." Rarity said, putting a weak smile on her face. "Well..." Rarity desperately wanted to tell Rainbow to stay, but that would be selfish and she was, after all, the Element of Generosity, "take care of yourself, okay?"
"Got it, Rarity. Catch you on the flip side." Rainbow laughed to herself thinking about her accidental joke.
"What's so funny, Rainbow?" Rarity asked.
"Huh? oh, nothin'." Rainbow replied. "Just a really bad pun," She couldn't believe her friends wouldn't say anything about her leaving except a simple goodbye and wishing her luck.
"Go make us proud, Dash." Rarity finally said after an awkward silence. Rainbow couldn't stand that last display, so she simply nodded and walked off. She nearly broke down, but she wouldn't allow herself to cry. No not

Rarity closed her door and sighed.
I hope she comes back soon... no, I KNOW she will; she's not the type to let being a Wonderbolt go to her head. "We'll be seeing her by the next holiday I know it." Rarity said aloud, although it was clear that she was trying to convince herself of that more than she was anypony else. Ever since she had heard of Rainbows secret meetings with...
No, Rarity wouldn't defile her thoughts with that wretched name. She had found it difficult to trust Rainbow; she seemed to have too many secrets and never would tell her friends what was really on her mind. But Rainbow was still her friend; perhaps they could have tried harder to work past it. But they hadn't, why hadn't they? Rarity collapsed on the floor, and felt as if she was going to cry even more, but it seemed for once she was completely unable to, only her wretched throat and puffy eyes were left to remind her of the regret she felt and things left undone.

Only four more goodbyes, then I can finally leave. Rainbow thought. Just four more.
But she knew the rest of them would be the hardest; Rainbow had saved the four with whom she had the most extended friendship for last. She arrived at another tree house, this one on the outskirts of Ponyville right by the ever-ominous Everfree Forest.
Rainbow knew this would be the most emotional of all, except perhaps the one he had saved for last. She knocked on Fluttershy's door and, to her surprise, the yellow pegasus appeared at the door very well collected and with only slightly bloodshot eyes.
"H...hey, R...Rainbow," Fluttershy stammered. Rainbow saw how hard she was trying to keep it together; Rainbow herself was having a tough time as well, though she wouldn't allow herself a single tear until she was finished. So she simply nodded at the yellow pegasus, letting her know it was going to be okay. Rainbow needed to know that her friends really cared and so far, none of them had they had just told her to leave. Fluttershy burst into tears and hugged Rainbow tightly. Rainbow patted Fluttershy on the back.
"Shh... shh... it's okay, Fluttershy." Rainbow said as if consoling a hungry filly. "Don't worry. I'll be back as soon as I can."
"D...do you pr...pr..." Fluttershy sobbed, her tears not allowing her to finish her thought.
"Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye, as soon as possible." Rainbow replied as confidently and reassuringly as she could. She hated herself even more for this. She hated what she was doing to Fluttershy but didn't she deserve it. After all this was just a final act of revenge on Rainbow's part. Fluttershy's ignoring her had hurt the most, her fillyhood friend just...abandoning her.
But still so far, only Fluttershy had really shown she cared even a little bit; Rarity just made up half-assed excuses and Twilight was ultimately apathetic about Dash as usual. Even if she was talking to her now, it was too late; she just wanted to know who really loved her and who didn't. She silently kicked herself for doing what she was doing to her friends; she was only causing more pain and sorrow to herself and every one of her closest friends. But it was simply necessary; she had to do it for even the small bit of closure it would provide.
"Rainbow..." Fluttershy said almost inaudibly,
"What?"
"Thank you,"
"Huh?" Dash said, surprised.
"Thank you. if not for you, I... No, none of us would be the same. You have really impacted our lives in so many ways, and I just wanted to thank you on behalf of the group."
"The group?" Rainbow asked
"Yes. We sort of organized a little farewell for you, so just..." Fluttershy was about to break down again, and she barely uttered the words "thank you" again before she dug her face into her friend's shoulder, heaving sob after sob. Rainbow was surprised that they had actually organized a goodbye party the night before; they had actually thought of how to say goodbye to her. But was it really out of sadness or were they just ready to let her go? The way things had been between herself and the other five, either one was just as likely as the other. That was it. That what this was they were just trying to get rid of her. She hated them for it even more. A sudden sadness bubbles in Dash's chest at this realization.
"Fluttershy..." Dash said, trying to get a word out before she left, but just as she was ready to express her gratitude towards Fluttershy's kind words, a familiar feeling welled up in her throat, and she excused herself with a simply goodbye.

Rainbow was really leaving. Although it was probably her fault. Rainbow had admitted to her that, with guilt, she had been visiting... her when she said she had been "taking naps." Fluttershy had been devastated to hear that, it really hurt to hear that Rainbow ha been lying to her. But that was Rainbow Dash; she was loyal to the end. Angel hopped up to Fluttershy and tried to console the pony, seeing how truly distraught his only friend was.
"It's okay, Angel." Fluttershy said, looking at Angel. "Rainbow is going to be a Wonderbolt now. She will be happy.
"Plus, she Pinkie Pie swore she'd come back as soon as she could." Fluttershy smiled despite her own ignorance of the gravity of the situation. Would she really come back even after Fluttershy had shunned her for so long? Maybe she could have stopped her, but Rainbow was gone now. It was simply too late. Too late to try and bring her

Rainbow sighed as she walked up to Sweet Apple Acres. The smell of fresh apple cider filled the air and Rainbow was quickly intoxicated by the sweet aroma. But she was only here to talk to AJ, who was currently performing the mundane task of applebucking.
She seemed angry for reasons that Rainbow was sure she could guess; all of her friends probably hated her for leaving, for lying and would undoubtedly hate her even more after she left. Especially since she had told them all her secret.
"Lousy, no good, just up and leaving us for her..." Applejack noticed Rainbow approaching and fell silent, her face turning a dark shade of red. "Oh hey, Rainbow. When did you get here?" The cow pony stammered.
"Early enough to hear what you just said." Dash said, sighing at Applejack's obvious display of contempt towards her. "Look Applejack, I know you probably hate me for leaving and for... that. but surely you understand." Rainbow knew how honest Applejack would be; it was against her nature to lie. So Rainbow braced herself for whatever verbal abuse she would take.
"I don't hate you, sugarcube." Applejack said, much to Dash's surprise and confusion. Was she serious Applejack whose entire existence depended upon honesty was forgiving her for a blatant lie? This wasn't right. "In fact, I'm right proud of what your doing. Being a Wonderbolt and all, I'm just... Well it's gonna be hard to cope without you whenever any of us need you."
Rainbow couldn't believe it. even after all the lies Dash had fabricated, Applejack still trusted her. But unfortunately, it wasn't enough; It was too little, too late. Rainbow had made up her mind, and she knew she was just saying goodbye, her own little cruelty and last revenge towards her friends. The orange pony grinned at her and a pang of guilt shot through Rainbow's body, almost bringing the cyan pony to tears. Did she really believe that. Yes she did. She had to or else she could never go through with this.
"Ah suppose you're gonna say good bye to Pinkie last, am I right?" Applejack inquired. Rainbow simply nodded in response. It wasn't a surprise to anypony that Rainbow was saying goodbye to Pinkie Pie last. For obvious reasons.
"You two always were the best of friends. Well, ever since that whole thing with Gilda, you know."
"Yeah..." Dash responded halfheartedly. She almost broke down and cried thinking of the Gilda incident and how I just made this all the more difficult. "I'm really going to miss you all. Don't worry, I won't forget you. I could never forget any of you. You all just mean so much to me." There she went again lying through her teeth. She hated them for ignoring her for so long. She hated them less than she had originally but that truly was the raw emotion she felt.
"Whoa, Dash, you're startin' to sound a bit like Rarity!" Applejack responded.
She and AJ shared one last laugh together. It felt oddly relieving, her last laugh with one of her closest friends. Even if it was a little forced.
"Good bye, sugarcube," those last words nearly crushed Rainbow's resolve, but her mind was made up. There was no going back. "Good bye, Applejack."
Applejack sat down and watched as her friend flew away. Despite everything Rainbow had done, despite all the lies and pain, Applejack still trusted her and she always would. Applejack smiled; Rainbow had grown so much since they had all become friends. Applejack couldn't wait until the next Wonderbolts show; all of them would attend and see their friend Rainbow Dash flying and point. Applejack could see the wild grin on her face as the rainbow trail streaked behind her. Flying with the Wonderbolts had always been Rainbow's dream and now she was going to love it. Applejack just hoped that her friend wouldn't forget them, her humble, non-famous friends, after she made it big. Applejack smiled again at the image of Rainbow streaking across the sky with a huge smile plastered across her

Just two more, Rainbow thought. I'm almost done.
Rainbow didn't know if she had the emotional stamina at this point to keep her composure as she bade farewell to Pinkie Pie after the day's prior events, but she was determined to do this, if only for the minute bit of closure it would bring to herself and her friends. She sighed and raised her hoof to knock on the door. However, it didn't surprise Rainbow Dash that it opened before she could knock. Immediately, Pinkie's smile lifted Dash's mood, although the warm feeling of happiness Dash felt was gone as quick as it came. She was here for one reason and one reason alone.
"Hey Dashie!" Pinkie said in her usual excited, overzealous manner, but it was only a matter of moments before her hyperactive mask fell off, revealing a truly depressed pink party pony. "Oh, do you really have to go? It would be great if you stayed, but I know where you're coming from, Dash. I know how it feels to want to escape from a place where you feel held back. I was going to throw you a super huge party, but then you said you didn't want a party and I was confused, like 'what, why doesn't Dashie want a party?' but then I thought 'Oh well, if Dashie doesn't want one then I guess it must be super serious..." Pinkie's constant stream of audible thought faded into the background of Dash's thoughts; she could barely understand a word Pinkie had said. It truly broke Rainbow's heart to see Pinkie like this, knowing that soon she would be only a shadow of what she was now.
"Pinkie-" Rainbow began, but was silenced by a heartbreaking hug from her friend, who's sniffles and shakes only indicated further how Pinkie was truly feeling.
"Pinkie, please... I don't want to cry now, can we please make this quick?" Rainbow's heart shattered; how could she do this to her friend? Of all of them this was the worst she hated saying goodbye to Pinkie she was the closest of all her friends. But her betrayal had hurt the most. Mainly, because it made the most sense. For a moment she felt truly unable to go through with her plan, but only for a moment. She had already lied to them about one thing and she couldn't do it again. No, she had already said goodbye to all of her friends except Pinkie, and she wasn't going to let herself lose it now.
"Pinkie, I know how you feel-"
NO, Dash, you DON'T!" Pinkie yelled, startling Dash into silence. Pinkie saw what she had done to her friend, and her tone immediately softened to a more hurt and remorseful plea. "Dashie, you're my best friend. I can't bear it if you leave, please!"
"No Pinkie, I have to do this for me. I know it sounds selfish, and admittedly it is, but I have to."
"Well then, Dashie, I guess this is where we say goodbye." Pinkie sniffled. Rainbow hugged her again, patting her back as if she was comforting a distressed child. Pinkie was truly the only friend she still actually cared about. Dash had hurt her the worst doing what she did and she hated that Pinkie's own ignorance of her made so much sense, this was really what made Dash make her decision.
"Pinkie, I need you to stay strong, okay? no matter what happens, stay strong. don't cry when I'm away; I'll be back soon, I promise. As soon as I can."
"Do you...Pinkie Pie promise?" Pinkie sniffed through tears. Rainbow smiled; despite all the hatred and contempt she'd put up with the past couple of weeks, she genuinely smiled,
"Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." Rainbow Dash recited. Pinkie, although not drastically, perked up a bit, and a weak smile appeared on on her face.
"Okay, Dashie." Pinkie said. "I'll see you soon"
"Good bye, Pinkie Pie. You truly were my best friend." And with that final Rainbow left.
Pinkie slumped to the floor in her room and just laid motionless, tears streaming down her face. Her best friend was gone; sure she'd be back as soon as she could, but Pinkie couldn't wait that long. She didn't even care that Rainbow had lied to her anymore; she could easily get over that. Sadness enveloped the pink pony, regret tore her thoughts from coherence, and the only thing she wanted to do was lay on the ground and sleep. Perhaps not even wake up.

Pinkie's ears perked up when she heard a knock on her door. Maybe Dashie had changed her mind, and was coming back! She opened the door enthusiastically only to come face to face with five familiar expressions. Each of her friends had obviously been crying.
"Hey Pinkie." Twilight said "How you doing?"
"I've been better." Pinkie said, trying her hardest to maintain her composure. Twilight gave a smile, like everything was okay that nothing was wrong; it must have seemed to Twilight that everything was perfect. All of Pinkie's emotion finally broke down the walls of her heart: the hatred, the confusion, and the sadness.
"HOW CAN YOU SMILE AT A TIME LIKE THIS, TWILIGHT?! RAINBOW DASH JUST LEFT US FOR THE WONDERBOLTS AND YOU'RE SMILING! How... how can you..."
Twilight put her arm around the pink party pony. "She'll be back, Pinkie. She'll be back as soon as she can." although Twilight promised she would maintain her composure, she soon found tears streaming down her cheeks, closely followed by the remaining three; the feeling in the room brought the sadness out of everypony in it. "She promised she would."

"I can't do it," Rainbow said to herself. She stood on the balcony of her cloud house, watching Sugarcube Corner as her other friends went in to comfort Pinkie. She had one final goodbye, but she was too much of a coward to say it face to face; a letter would have to do.

"

Rainbow allowed herself a few minutes to cry; surprisingly, all of the tears she had shed that day didn't completely deplete her.

Rainbow sighed. She had come to grips with and accepted that which surprised her.

(centering and Italics) "I'm writing this letter because I'm too much of a weakling and a coward to say this to your face. But I need you to know why this is happening. I have been very depressed recently. My friends have stopped taking my advice, stopped trusting me and have begun to ignore me instead of be the friends I thought they were. I feel I am drifting further and further away from them, something that you'd be the first to know. And I can't cope with it anymore. I was trying to to earn my friends' trust back, but I'm unable to and although I delude myself with the notion that I don't know why, I do. I decided on this two weeks ago and have made up my mind; by to time you read this it will be over. You may think that this is a stupid reason to do... what I'm going to do, but in the middle of my sorrow, both of my parents died in a horrible accident. Unbeknownst to my friends, I was very close to them and when they left my life I realized I had no one left to confide in. No one except for one pony. One brave filly who needed to know why I won't be there anymore. Scootaloo, I had one chance. I had one more reason to live and that reason was. and I want you to know that I'm not leaving because you weren't enough. Quite the opposite, actually; you were everything I could have hoped for. but I didn't realize that I was already too far gone. I just can't take it any more. So I'm confiding in you and and you only that I am leaving...forever. I have come to grips with everything I knew; I probably never would have become a Wonderbolt anyway. I just want you to know that your her-"(end italics and centering)
Rainbow Dash stopped. It didn't feel right to call herself a hero. Especially not to someone like Scootaloo who had been more help to Dash than Dash had been to her. She scratched the word out and continued writing.

She smiled at the sight of the mountain before her. it was Dragon Mountain, appropriately named for the dragon that she and her friends had encountered there early in their friendship. Full closure. A place where she had felt the most friendship, she and her friends' first big adventure where they all came together.
This would be where she ended all of her sorrows and friendships. She could still go back, but her friends would trust her even less than before and see her as a coward. As she walked to the edge of the cliff a familiar song played through her head, and she soon found herself singing the words to herself in a quiet whisper.
"Cried alone, I've gone away. No more nights, no more pain. I've gone alone, took all my strength. I've made the change. I won't see you tonight." As she sang the chorus she jumped and began to streak towards the earth. "Sorrow sank deep inside my blood. All the ones around me I cared for and most of all I loved. But I can't see myself that way. Please don't forget me or cry while I'm away!" She felt a familiar sensation as a cone of air formed in front of her. This act of cowardice would become an act of beauty; that had been her plan and this is how her friends would find her; the victim of a self-inflicted Sonic Rainboom. Rainbow was positive Twilight would notice the downward angle of the Rainboom and assume Dash had crashed and they would rush to help her but she would be dead by then. While they mourned, Scootaloo would come with Rainbow's letter and they would finally know. She hoped they didn't think she had done this out of spite towards them; it had been an act of cowardice and spite against herself, because she knew she could have saved Gilda . Rainbow had instead watched as her friend lay there, bleeding and bruised, with the last words of accusation that Rainbow could never forget: "This is all your fault Dash! all your fault!"

She sang her final words that always had made her cry. The last prominent lyrics; the phonetic zenith of the vocals.
"No more breath inside, essence left my heart tonight. No more breath inside essence left my heart tonight." Her voice swelled to a crescendo and began to echo.
And with those final words Rainbow Dash broke through the sound barrier, the colorful rainbow being the backdrop as she saw the craggy gray rocks rushing towards her. As she finished the final word her body, crashed into the ground. She felt a sharp agonizing pain as her body tried desperately to ease the pain and blood seeped out from her body. She lay there for a few minutes, her life fading from her body. Her final words were a haunting echo that kept repeating over and over. She saw a pony with features unrecognizable from Dash's perspective, but the color stood out; hot pink.
"I'm sorry, Pinkie..." And with that, Rainbow closed her eyes and her body slumped lifeless on the craggy floor never to fly again, never to enjoy what she had the potential to experience or become.
No more breath inside, essence left my heart tonight.