"I am 16 years old and today is the day that I'll die."
Those were my last thoughts as I jumped off the roof of the building towards the pavement below.
I'm Caitlyn Jackson.
Let me rewind for a moment, my life was never all that great. I grew up an only child. My parents were always too busy to pay attention to me. Their jobs were too important. They rarely even talked to each other.
In school, I was the kid in the corner that no one talked to. As I got older, teasing and bullying became something I experienced daily. I'd always just wanted to be noticed, but not like that. I was, in essence, invisible to anyone and everyone unless they were ridiculing me. That's how I always felt.
Finally, my 16th birthday came, and I decided that enough was enough. I was done.
Done with being ignored or blown-off or feeling insignificant. Done with being alone. My life was done.
I stood on the rooftop of the building, the wind blowing through my golden-brown hair. I took one last look at the place I was saying goodbye to, with my brown eyes. Hope tugged at me for a moment. What if things could change?
I stared down at the grey pavement. I started to feel queasy. The internal pain from all those years, the pain that had been building up into a tidal wave, it was finally ready to come crashing down and be eliminated. But the only way to eliminate it permanently was to jump. All the conflicted thoughts built up into a crescendo of agonized waiting. Finally, the pain overtook and destroyed whatever hope or self-preservation instincts remained.
I jumped.