//------------------------------// // The Small Walk of Walkiness // Story: Call of Friendship: Black Ops // by Alphadud //------------------------------// A/N: One might ask: Who in the seven hells is Spoofer? And who the fuck is Crosby? The answer is simple - You would’ve known, had you clicked the damned wikipedia links and read the previous chapter, but as a matter of fact - no one did. So I’ll answer it for you. The answer is - They’re imaginary. The manifestation of some kind of gorilla fucking alcoholic. Fractions of one’s imagination, brought to life by sparkly magic-ish magic, that only exists in the seventh plane of torment - EQUESTRIA, or something in that general direction. Chapter 2: The Small Walk of Walkiness After a few minutes of walking, Crosby, who was deep in thought, was thinking of the buzzing sound that was missing. At first he thought that Chiro was just hanging behind, but after a few minutes, he didn’t hear that continued low-hum buzzing that he usually heard from Chiro. Albeit he only knew him for 30 minutes or so, but who cares about that. As they kept walking, Crosby thought that Chiro might have a stealth mode and entered it. So he thought that he might just give him a question. “Hey Chiro, do you have a Stealth mode?” Crosby asked. He waited a few minutes but was never given an answer. “Heeeelloo Chirooo, anybody home?” Crosby asked again. “Now where the fuck is he? Did he fly off? Unless.... Did i forget him back there?” He thought as he stopped dead in his tracks and looked around for his Quadrotor friend but as he found none he just turned around and stared at the way that he and Spoofer came from. Spoofer noticed how Crosby stopped and looked around. He was a bit confused why he was looking around so he stopped him self and thought of a small clever prank. “Whats wrong? Saw a giant frost spider?” Spoofer asked his voice was dipped in mirth and he could barely contain his laughter. “No I’m just looking fo- Wait what?” Crosby asked extremely nervous, Crosby then got extremely tense and started to look around. “Y-You got Giant S-S-Spiders??” Crosby stammered out. Spoofer couldn’t hold his laughter any more. He collapsed and rolled around on the ground with laughter. Crosby was just looking at Spoofer with pretty much the facial expression that said “are you fucking kidding me?” but thanks to his mask covering his face he did not really get the point across. So he had to verbally express himself. “Are you fucking kidding me?” Crosby asked, being a bit annoyed by Spoofer’s shenanigans. After a few minutes Spoofer gradually calmed down to the level where he could speak without laughter getting in the way. “Oh cheer up, Brian! it was a harmless joke. You know what they say.” Spoofer after he calmed down. “My name isn’t Brian...” Crosby said in his defense, clearly not understanding the joke. “Some things in life are bad, They can really make you mad.” began Spoofer And out of nowhere, a tune that sounded very happy, a bit too happy in Crosby’s ears. “Other things just make you swear and curse” Spoofer just continued to sing “When you’re chewing on life’s gristle, don’t grumble, give a whistle!” By this point Crosby was getting really pissed off, to the point where he could almost smack Spoofer’s face in, but, he managed, barely. “And this’ll help things turn out for the best! And always look on the bri-” Crosby promptly just stopped listening, since he was still a bit pissed off about the giant spider joke, as Crosby just stood there and watched Spoofer sing and dance for at least two more minutes. Untill a very metalic object connected with his helmet. Crosby fell to his knees with out a sound, a bit dazed from the metallic object with four rotors on it that just rammed him. Chiro though were just laughing at Crosbys now very painful headache. “HAHA! KARMA!” Chiro exclaimed. “Thats what you get for leaving me with an eight-legged freak, on my eye.” Crosby was slowly being pushed towards the borderline of where he was in the mood to kill everyone and everything that was remotely five feet away. In fact, he was planing on shooting up Chiro first, but his thoughts had other plans. “Calm yo’ tits Crosby. It was a harmless prank and some Karma, so what? At least It isn’t that time when you got chased by 20 freaking terrorists in a tight ass urban area. Remember how that ended? A freaking head to the wall, a few flesh wounds, not to mention the RPG to the face. I mean seriously how did you survive that? And don’t forget the blunt trauma.” Crosbys head said to himself. And now that he mentions it how did he actually survive a RPG to the face? Well the answer is simple. Hes an NPC (Non-Playable Character) They are like freaking un-killable. Unless they have a scripted event where they die, then they are gone for good. But in this story, he’s the main character and then the question still stands how in the seven circles of hell did Crosby survive a RPG to the face? But that’s a story for another time. Now as Crosby was sitting there listening to the voices in his head. He got up and leaned against a conveniently placed tree that was close by, when he did that he still heard that Chiro was laughing and Spoofer just barely kept himself together. “The fuck is wrong with my head? And why does the voice in my head sound black instead of white? Last time I checked I was fairly sure that I was white.” Crosby thought as he pulled up a sleeve to check his forearm if he was black or not. And sure enough his arm was white. (A/N: No racism intended.) As Crosby was standing there trying to figure out why the voice in his head sounded black, he noticed something shiny on the road. It was round, a bit flat and gold. “Oh look a penny!” Crosby exclaimed as he got back down on his knees to pick up the newly found coin. “Uhh... I don’t think that’s a penny, I don’t remember them being that golden” Chiro said as he flew a bit closer toward Crosby. Spoofer also trotted up towards Crosby to see what he found. “Oh. Shut up Chiro! It’s a penny! I found it. I decide what it is ‘kay? ‘Kay.” Crosby said as he picked up and placed the shiny golden coin in his hands so he could look at it. As Crosby did that Spoofer looked in his hands and saw a golden coin. “Oh hey! You found a bit, congratulations one step closer to a fortune! Although.... YOINK” Spoofer said as he somehow stole the bit with one of his hooves. Just as Spoofer tucked away that bit, both Crosby and Chiro were staring at Spoofer. Crosby probably again would have lost his jaw again if it weren’t for the mask covering his face. As Chiro just hovered there trying to process what just happened. You could literally see the circuits in his robotic body lighting up trying to figure out how Spoofer could hold something with his hoof. “And now your back to square one!” Spoofer exclaimed having a huge grin on his face. Crosby then looked in his now empty hands then back to Spoofer, then again his hands, then Spoofer. “The fuck just happened?” Both Chiro and Crosby said in Unison. “What just happened?” Spoofer asked back, since well he had no idea what was going on. Both Crosby and Chiro just stared at Spoofer, who in turned just stared back at them. This just kept going for about 10 minutes, before Spoofer looked toward the sky and then said. “You know. We should get moving before it gets dark, otherwise we might freeze to death. Or get robbed, or something in that area.” “Uh.... Yeah, sure. Whatever” Crosby said still a bit brain dead on to how Spoofer could pick up something with his hoof. He then got up from his knees and looked at Chiro for a few minutes before asking him a question. “You okay there?” Crosby asked with a tiny bit of concern in his voice. “No? Okay lets try this!” Crosby then gave Chiro a light punch to the armor. For a few seconds it looked like Chiro was gonna crash again but, instead of crashing he stabilized and looked at Crosby. “Hey! Watch it! You are scraping the paint!” Chiro yelled. “Yeah yeah, lets get a move on! We have wasted enough time as it is.” Crosby said very impatient. “Alright. Lets go then, that way!” Crosby pointed from where they came from and started walking in that direction. “Ponyville is the other way” Spoofer said as he looked with a tilted head at Crosby. Crosby quickly turned around and said “I knew that.” Then continued there walk towards Ponyville. About 10 minutes of walking later. “Look I’m telling you, with a skilled pilot a ADS could take down a Battle tank!” Crosby said alittle bit annoyed. “There is no freaking way that those blocky and clumpy drones could take down a freaking Battle tank Crosby. Even with a skilled pilot I mean I’ve heard that those things handle like a drunk pigeon that stumbles around on the ground.” Chiro argued back as he was flying sideways looking Crosby in the face as they were arguing over if a ADS could destroy a Main Battle Tank or not. Spoofer though had absolutely no idea what they were talking about so he kept a look out for anything special. “Okay first of al-” “FOR THE HOARD!” Spoofer interupted Crosby and ran a bit forward then picking up another bit he found. He then noticed how Crosby and Chiro was staring at him. “What?” He smiled sheepishly. “I found another bit to add to my shiny hoard.” He explained afterwards. “Right anyways-” Crosby began and kept speaking with Chiro and arguing with him alot as they were walking down the road towards Ponyville. What they failed to notice was the rapidly closing village that was in the distance. As they argued away Spoofer actually found there arguing both welcome and funny to listen to since he had been traveling alone for a long time. Infact he joined in on some since they were talking about Equestria at one point. Right now he was focusing mostly on listening on the argument as they walked towards Ponyville, he had forgotten to say that they actually were arriving in Ponyville in a minutes. Infact they were closing on the village quick. Alittle bit to quick. As they got closer and closer the village seamed more like a Ghost village than a actuall village. they just kept arguing till they got to the park thats when Crosby desided to go infront of everyone else and walk backwards. “Look. The V-TOL Technolig-” Crosby got interupted as he tripped on something and falled in to a fountain causing a splash to happend. “Okay who the fuck thought it would be funny to put a fountain in my way?” Crosby asked as he still laid in the water, and as the fountian was spraying water on his helmet. “Although it isn’t that bad, its a pretty cool water.” He said afterwards. “Gentlemen, we just arrived in Ponyville.” Spoofer said with a french accent “Oh and flying metal thing too. We arrived in Ponyville” he said directly after. “I have a name you know” Chiro said annoyed. “I know but you called me abomination. Instead of asking my name or giving me one, so I'm restorting to calling to Flying metal thing.” Spoofer said. “What ever floats your boat.” Chiro said even more annoyed at the new name he got. “OH. MY. GOD! THE FOUNTAIN IS FILLED WITH PENNIES! AND THERE ALL MINE!” Crosby yelled on top of his lungs. “THEY ARE MINE! FOR THE HOARD!” Spoofer yelled as he joined in to the fray. After a few minutes of digging around the fountain the had found atleast 100 pennies as Crosby likes to call them, even though they are bits. I think they got very lucky or something since they found like a humongus amount of coins in a fountain. Crosby and Spoofer got out of the fountain and dryed them selfs. Spoofer then suggested that they count the coins and split it 50/50 but as they were standing there counting they failed to notice the pony that was coming from the other side of the town, it probably were some special day or something that had a gathering on the other side of town. Anyways as the pony laid eyes on Crosby and Chiro but ignoring Spoofer. It yelled with all its might “MONSTERS! WAAAH!!” Then it ran away. Crosby and Chiro who had no idea what just happened just stood and hovered there. “What just happened?” They both asked in Unison Too be continued If you are reading so to speak. A/N: Top hat for Spoofer anyone? Special thanks to; Pinkies imagination, RainbowBob for proof reading this heap of junk, Chiromishi (My good old buddy) for helping me edit, Slayerbroman for giving me ideas and YOU! For reading!