//------------------------------// // The magic tricks of Pinkamena Pie // Story: Dr. Pinkhatten - The pinaqule of pink party ponie problems // by TheSexyMenhir //------------------------------// Dr.Pinkhatten Ch.02 "The magic tricks of Pinkamena Pie" Frantically I paced up and down between the now empty plate and an oven. “Okay Twilight, calm down. There has to be a perfectly good explanation why Pinkie suddenly turned into an alicorn.” I muttered to myself. Pinkie raised her hoof: “Here, take me, I know the answer!” My expression was blank as I replied: “Pinkie” in my best imitation of a school teacher. “The cupcake was so super duper delicious that it turned me into a alicorn.” she exclaimed proudly. “Okay let me rephrase that: There has to be a perfectly good explanation THAT ISN’T TOTALLY INSANE!” I was practically screaming as I uttered the last words. The logical part of me knew, that there was actually a lot speaking for Pinkie’s theorie, but the rest of me wasn’t ready to accept baked goods as the key to immortality. Luckily Pinkie was too busy, marveling at her new found wings, to notice my little mental breakdown. Slowly the gravity of the situation found it’s way into my still shellshocked brain. Pinkie was a living goddess now and there was no way that would have no consequences. What effect would Pinkie have on politics, society and economy? Was Pinkie a princess now? My mind raced as I tried to figure out what to do now. Pinkie apparently had other priorities. “Do you know what that calls for?” she asked. I stared at her, disbelief clearly visible on my face. With all that was going on she couldn’t possibly thinking of throwing …. “A PARTY!” the pink alicorn yelled. In all the time I knew Pinkie, I had not once believed that Pinkie was dumb; eccentric maybe, easily distracted maybe, but this was the first time that I actually doubted her mental capacities. “NO!” I yelled “We need to tell Princess Celestia about this.” “Good thinking. We’ll throw a Pinkie-has-grown-wings-and-a-horn-party and invite the princes, it will be an ultra super duper alicorn party.” the pink party pony explained while bouncing through the messy kitchen. Angrily I stomped a hoof on the ground ”NO! There will be no party!” I hadn’t intended for my voice to sound as sharp as it did, but my patience was running low at this point. A chill ran down my spine as all around me the room suddenly transformed. Formerly uninteresting corners suddenly became shadowy hiding spots, full with the promise of monsters; the ovens warm light pulsed in an almost organic fashion and wasn’t that a otherworldly heartbeat I heard? My adrenaline enhanced senses chose that moment to inform me of the various knives that were strewn around the kitchen and just how sharp they were looking; how easily would they cut through …. all sorts of materials. My flanks were sweat drenched but my breath made small clouds in front of my muzzle. Terror stricken I looked at my friend. The normally euphoric mare looked desolate. Her head hang low, seemingly dragged to the ground by her atypical straight hair. “...I...I... m..mean, we can’t have an alicorn party without inviting Luna as well:” I managed to stutter. Instantly the pink party pony perked up, her hair poofing back into it’s lack of form; the kitchen followed suit. Nothing remained of the vision of horror I had witnessed just seconds ago. “Of course! You’re right Twilight. No wonder they call you the smartest unicorn around.” Still startled from the experience I only managed to nod. I watched as Pinkie began bouncing around the kitchen cleaning the old mess and preparing everything for a new one. The preparations for the welcoming party of a goddess were underhand. And what a goddess that would be. Pinkie’s relationship with the laws of physics could be best described as mutual ignorance. Pinkie didn’t think too much about them and in turn they didn’t pay attention to her either. Personally I think that they did so because they wanted to avoid the headache, that I came to associate with telling Pinkie Pie that something was impossible. But even for Pinkie the scene that presented itself to me in the kitchen had reached whole new levels of surrealism: About two dozen hoof sized copies of my pink friend were occupying the counters and tables of the kitchen. They prepared muffins, cakes and every other sort of party food that you could think of. Meanwhile the original bounced around, levitating half a dozen (bakers dozen as she insisted) kitchen utensils, that were too heavy for her little helpers. She waved her pink glowing horn around as if it were a conducting baton while humming a tune. That of all the songs she had chosen “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice” didn’t exactly fill me with confidence. “Pinkie how are you doing this?” I asked, my fears temporarily forgotten in the face of this magical miracle. I was expecting one of her usual non-answers:”I don’t know.” or “I just do.” and so it took me by surprise when she said: “Silly filly, that’s easy. Here, let me show you how it’s done.” Surprised I looked around the room trying to locate the source of the cheerful music that suddenly filled the air. But the tune seemed to come from nowhere and so I focused back on my friend, eager to harness... I mean learn.... the secret of her magical powers. “All you have to do is take a cup of flour! Add it to the mix! Now just take a little something sweet.....” “No!” I interrupted the musical number that was just about to unfold: “I was talking about the magic. How can you control all this...” I made a vague gesture including the whole kitchen “... without ever having performed any magic.” “Who says that i never performed magic?” Pinkie replied, making a face as if I had just hurt her feelings. While I wasn’t panicking anymore I could feel a migraine forming: ”Pinkie you are.... were an earth pony. Earth ponies can’t use magic.” “Don’t be silly Twilight, of course they can. Here I’ll show you.” she happily replied, while rummaging through one of the kitchens cupboards. To say that I was intrigued by the idea of earth pony magic would be an understatement. Was that how Pinkie performed her seemingly impossible feats? This could revolutionize the whole concept of magic. With a wide grin Pinkie turned towards me, a deck of fanned out, face down cards in her hoofs: “Draw one card, any card.” My face went blank. “Excuse me.” I said in a toneless voice before trotting out the backdoor. After five minutes, filled with inarticulate screaming, I returned inside. In front of the door was a perfectly round circle of melted snow. While I cleaned the grime out of my fur, I said: “I’ll head back home for the night. I need to write the invitation for the princesses. I hope you understand that you’ll have to stay in the bakery until the party?” “Of course, otherwise it wouldn’t be a surprise party.” she replied. I let out a defeated sigh. Well whatever works. I donned my winter clothes and made my way out the door. A soul piercing shriek could be heard from inside the bakery. I sighed again. I had forgotten about the Cakes.