Falling into the darkness was much more welcoming this time around. Whatever I was attacked and restrained by in the few minutes I'd been awake couldn't do anything to me here. Not that I was sure where "here" was, but it wasn't there, and that was the most peace of mind I'd been able to feel since I came out of that paradise of white. My mind kept trying to replay some of my few memories, and I kept pushing those thoughts out, until I came to a pretty obvious and totally uncool realization. This place wasn't reality. I didn't want to, but I had a pretty strong feeling that I'd be forced back into the white room with all the strange creatures at some point, so I forced myself to remember and think about what happened when I came out of the darkness the first time.
Alright, first was the the light; not as bright as the "I must be dead" light, but it was enough to hurt my eyes and keep me from opening them. After that, I could control myself, if anyone could call that control, really. It was more like I was saying "go," and my body was picking the when and where. Still, there was at least some connection, so I chalked that up as a plus. Those two moments, now that I was remembering, weren't all that bad, and I remembered actually being relieved once I felt parts of me moving and shifting. That was the point when I assumed I probably wasn't dead. Do I have to explain how good that tiny realization felt? Awesome, in case you were still unsure. Ok, so what was next?
Oh, right...the sounds...
Even away from it all in this...place (seriously, it's not like I was any surer than when I got there), I could feel some pressure at remembering this part. It was just one big garbled mess of noises I didn't know or understand wreaking havoc on my ears. There were high noises that hurt my ears and low noises that rumbled in m stomach. Some sounds seemed timed while others had no beat or order. Just thinking about it was causing my head to spin again, and I wasn't going to figure out anything from that mish-mash. I decided it was best to move on and try to glean something useful from the next memory.
Those things standing over me. I can't say for sure what they were doing, but I remembered my instincts forcibly telling me that the situation couldn't be a good one. I tried to think about how I reacted, and I remembered the thrashing movements and the sound that I made. I remembered those creatures taking a quick step back at my reaction. I'm still not sure why I responded to everything that way (there seemed to be a lot of uncertainty for me, and i didn't like it) , but I seemed to cause them to hesitate, so I silently thanked my instinct and decided I should keep listening to it in the future.
But then even more of them were on me before I could even take a second to relax, and they were all the same color. Or they all wore the same color. These ones were slightly bigger than the ones around when I woke up, and nothing I was doing seemed to scare them off. They just kept pinning my body and yelling things to each other through all the chaos. At least I was able to scare the smaller ones, but these creatures were stronger than me (not much stronger! I managed to knock one out, that was a nice memory), and there were so many more of them. And then, in all the thrashing and yelling, I remembered a sharp pain, which obviously made me squirm and spasm even more.
Well, for a little bit at least, because pretty soon after that, I started feeling tired. I should have been doing everything I could to get out of there, but I could feel my heart slowing, and all my movements became slow. It actually felt...comforting. I didn't really mind all those things around me anymore, and they seemed to be less forceful with me anyway. It was really strange to feel "safe" in that place surrounded by threats. My eyes started to feel heavy, and I fought a bit at first, but at some point, I must have decided that a little rest would actually be awesome, and I just let go. I figured I could really get into this sleeping thing. It seemed pretty great to me.
And that brought me back got the void with basically none of the answers I had been looking for. I still had no ideas about the where, why, or how. Great. Totally uncool. I figured that since I had nothing to go off of, I could just stay in this place. At least here, I didn't have to worry about the ear-splitting noise or strange creatures attacking me the second I woke up. I was having a hard time finding any reason at all to go back to all that madness, if there was even a choice.
I was about to let myself relax and let everything drift away when I suddenly felt a strong pull. But it wasn't physical, so pull isn't really a good word. Attraction? That sounds like it was an emotional force, and...well that wasn't it either. It seemed a little lame. Beckoning might be the best explanation. It's still not exactly the right way to describe it, but I came out of my relaxation to see where this feeling could be coming from...
And there it was! I couldn't quite place it, but I could tell that I had seen it before. The top looked white and soft, while the bottom was strong and colorful. It was three jagged lines of color joined at one point at the bottom, and the whole thing had that beckoning glow. This was the first thing I saw that seemed familiar to me in the slightest, and I immediately wanted to be close to it. No, not just close. I wanted to be exactly where it was, in the same space. Close wasn't nearly close enough for me. That warmth and familiarity was like nothing I'd ever felt before (as far as I could remember), and something about it just seemed so amazingly...awesome.
As I got closer to it, I also realized that there were more of these things, all connected together and just pounding with some unbelievable power. There were six, including the one I saw first (which was by far the coolest!), and the closer I got, the more invincible I felt. They were feeding me, and I was drinking in the feeling of power. The distance between me and the objects drawing me in was so small now that I felt like I was basically inside the closest one, the one with the strongest pull (again, pull wasn't really it, but I can't explain it right).
Then, as I felt I was a accepting it into my body, as a part of me, the others rapidly faded and the pulse disappeared, like I'd never felt it to begin with. But the one I contacted was still there, and I could feel it trying to remind me of something important. No words, no images, just emotion, and one was by far the most powerful and forceful; loyalty. To what I didn't know, but I knew that something needed me, and every bit of emotion I had screamed that I couldn't leave it hanging. Even if it meant facing the chaos and anxiety from earlier. I was determined and nothing could stop me from being there for...well, I decided I'd figure that out later.
At that point, I let myself slip back towards the world I felt waiting for me just outside of my dreams. The noises were growing to just as loud as before I left, and the sight was no less intimidating than before. I could feel the pounding rhythm of my heart speed up, but something was different as I regained consciousness this time; I had something to protect. And I steeled myself for the task of finding and defending it.