//------------------------------// // Chapter 9: The Apple Gang // Story: My Little Wasteland // by ThatBronyWithTheClipOns //------------------------------// Spike took the train straight to Appleoosa; he needed to get as many supplies as possible before heading into the Badlands. Nopony in their right mind would head out to the Badlands unless they absolutely had to. There were no train tracks leading there, the terrain was rough and always changing, and the weather could shift from blazingly hot to almost sub zero temperatures. But he’d heard that many criminals were using it as a safe haven due to it being hard to navigate through. The first thing Spike did in Appleoosa was go see Braeburn to collect any possible bounty updates. “Yer actually goin’ out to the badlands,” exclaimed Braeburn. “That’s fuckin crazy! Nopony survives out there!” “Luckily for me, I’m not a pony,” said Spike sarcastically. “Yer a damn fool, Spike,” said Braeburn. “A damn fool.” “Bounty hunting is getting trickier now, Braeburn,” said Spike. “Outlaws are getting more organized, forming gangs and going where they think bounty hunters won’t follow. This is going to make things a lot harder for everyone, including you. They’re gonna start attacking towns in groups, and Appleoosa is right near it. We gotta do what we can before it gets any worse.” “Ah spose ya’ll got a point there,” said Braeburn. “Just don’t get too reckless, and be sure to ration yer supplies. The Badlands is a harsh place.” “Thanks for the tip,” said Spike. “Any new bounties or updates.” “Darn tootin,” said Braeburn. “There are always updates. New outlaws seem to sprout out everyday. Gets plum tiresome.” Braeburn hands Spike an updated list of bounties; many of which are suspected to be now living in the Badlands. Spike gives Braeburn a thank you nod and heads out to get some supplies. He first makes his way to a weapons supply store. “A hundred bits fer a stinkin box of bullets,” said a familiar female voice. “That’s damn criminal!” “Supply an demand, ma’am,” said the shopkeeper. “Plenty folks wantin bullets and keep up with productions aint easy.” “Yer a damn criminal,” said the familiar voice again. “Aint no different from those scumbags we’re hunting!” “You’ve got quite the tongue on you, Apple Bloom,” said Spike. The pony turned around, and sure enough, it was Apple Bloom. All grown up, sporting some western gear. Her signature pink bow, she’d now had tied around her head more like a headband. She went wide eyed instantly when seeing Spike. “Holy shit,” she exclaimed. “Spike! Ah can’t believe it’s you. She gave him a giant hug. “Damn, look at you,” she said. “Yer as big as a fuckin house!” “You always been this foulmouthed,” he asked. “Hey life is hard out here,” she said. “You start pickin up words. Ah doubt yer always a saint with yer tongue.” “Guess you have a point,” he said. “Applejack and Big Macintosh with you?” “Sure are,” she said. “They’re havin a drink down at the saloon. They assigned me to get supplies and ammo. We plan on headin’ out to the Badlands.” “What a coincidence,” he said. “That’s where I’m heading.” “Well hell,” said Apple Bloom. “Ya should team up with us while there! Ah know Applejack will be happy as a pig in shit to see you!” “Sure thing,” said Spike. “I’d love to see her again.” “Great,” said Apple Bloom. “We’ll go soon as we can make a deal with this slime ball son of a bitch over here.” Spike and Apple Bloom got some more supplies and headed to The Rusty Shoe to meet up with Applejack and Big Macintosh. “Sis, sis,” yelled Apple Bloom. “You’ll never guess who ah came across!” Spike walked forward, tipping his hat to Applejack and Big Macintosh. “Ah’ll be darn tootin,” said Applejack. “Spike? That really you?” “The one and only,” said Spike. “It’s good to see you AJ.” Applejack got up to give Spike a hug. She then looked him over. “Dang,” said Applejack. “You sure got big.” “As a fuckin house ah said,” said Apple Bloom. “Now watch yer mouth, sugar cube,” said Applejack. “Ya’ll don’t need to be using such words.” “Ah aint some little filly anymore, AJ,” said Apple Bloom. “Ah’m all grown up now. Sides, there are ponies out there say a lot worse than me.” “Even so,” said Applejack. “There’s no need to use that kinda language.” “Whatever,” said Apple Bloom. “Anyway,” said Applejack. “Ah’d heard you was a bounty hunter now, Spike. Still, ah had no idea you were this big.” “Ah had some training,” said Spike. “From a crotchety old pony named Mal.” “The Magnum Mal Wesson,” exclaimed Applejack. “Toughest gun totin colt in Equestria?” “The very same,” said Spike. “No fuckin way,” exclaimed Apple Bloom. “Apple Bloom,” exclaimed Applejack in annoyance. “It’s fine, AJ,” said Spike. “I’ve heard and, even said, a lot worse than that.” “That ah can’t believe,” said Apple Jack. Spike looked over at Big Macintosh, still drinking. “Still a pony of few words, eh Big Mac,” said Spike. “Eeyup,” said Big Macintosh, in his usual manner. Spike noticed something different about Big Macintosh. Looking at his Back right leg, he noticed Big Macintosh had some sort of metal stump where his hoof used to be. “What happened to your leg, Mac,” asked Spike. “Aw hell, now there’s a story,” proclaimed Apple Bloom. “Durin our second job, Big Macintosh got his hoof blown off by a mean sumbitch! Ah managed to fashion this here metal hoof fer him.” “Aint just a fake hoof either,” said Applejack. “Damn things gotta machine gun constructed into it.” “The nickname, Big Gatlingtosh is starting to make sense now,” said Spike. “Them nicknames,” said Applejack. “Ah can’t stand em. What kinda name is Calamity Jack?” “You kiddin,” said Apple Bloom. “Those are some awesome names! Ah love mine. Apple Boom!” “I think they suit you guys,” said Spike. “Ah’m sure ya do, Six Shooter Spike,” said Applejack with a sly smile. “Smile all you like,” said Spike. “I think it has a nice ring to it.” “Spose it does,” said Applejack. “So…um…how’s Twilight doin?” “Well, not terribly great,” said Spike. “Seems to be having some mental issues. I can’t figure out why. I actually have Fluttershy looking after her now.” “Really,” said Apple Bloom. “That’s right! She’s the Beast Mistress now! Hear she’s got a whole army of timber wolves too!” “Saw at least one,” said Spike. “Rarity still won’t come out of her home, and Sweetie Belle is singing at a bar to makes ends meat.” “Aw man, poor Rarity,” said Apple Bloom. “Do you have any idea what happened to Scootaloo,” asked Spike. “She, um, she decided to join some gang,” said Apple Bloom with a sad look on her face. “She builds vehicles fer her gang members.” “Wait,” said Spike. “Scootaloo is Chopper Chick?” “The very same,” said Applejack. “She’s got a twenty thousand bounty on her head,” said Spike. “I didn’t even recognize her from her wanted poster. It didn’t even use her real name.” “That’s cuz most don’t know her real name,” said Apple Bloom. “Only reason we knew who she was is cuz ah recognized her picture. Ya never forget one of yer best friends.” “Sources say she’s hidin out in the Badlands,” said Applejack. “Is that why you’re going out there,” asked Spike. “Nah, just coincidence,” said Applejack. “We’re goin fer the same reason you are ah’m sure. Most of the outlaws are headin out there to avoid bounty hunters. Few will go trackin there.” “But I’m guessing that’s not gonna stop you all,” said Spike. “Hell no,” said Applejack. “Aint no Apple around who’s gonna let some desert stop em.” “You wantin to join us, Spike,” asked Big Macintosh. “If you all wouldn’t mind,” said Spike. “Couldn’t hurt to have extra help on this job,” said Applejack. “Alright,” exclaimed Apple Bloom. “The Apple Gang teams up with Six Shooter Spike! Yahoo!”